In this chapter : Jin finally realized he was wrong... will Hwoarang take
him back?
A/N : Listen to Hoobastank – The Reason while rading this fic.
Not a songfic, but I got inspired a bit by it =).
Reminiscence
Chapter 16 : Lost and
found
Jin’s POV
I left in a hurry, not
even caring for the laundry or Xiaoyu. Have to get to him as fast as I can, he’s
crazy enough to kill himself. And if he does... I’ll never be able to forgive
myself. He was right, and I was wrong, what if he did kill himself already?!!!
Please let him be alright.... please... else I don’t know what I’m going to do.
An hour ago I was wondering why I was in love with him. Now I’m
wondering how I’ve been such a jerk. I could’ve avoid all this mess if I’d have
looked more carefully! Ah man... I feel terrible. I should’ve listened to him
earlier. Asked him why he did that even though he did nothing, I’d have realized
I was wrong. I’ve seen him cry and I haven’t done a single thing. I didn’t even
try to understand what he was going through. Then if love is blind, rage is
probably blind as well. He’s the one I love and I just blowed my chance to
happiness... and his own happyness as well. Maybe his life.
What on Earth
am I going to say to him? That I was wrong and I’m sorry? That I should’ve been
more careful? More attentive? More... oh God...
Maybe the other guys
won’t even let him see me.
I get out of the car once I reached the good
building. Number... 18... or 17... AH DAMMIT! 18 I think. Yeah, 18, now that I
remember. When I got to the door... I just stopped moving. What if it’s too
late? I gotta stop asking myself questions. I MUST go in there. For Hwoarang’s
sake.
Alright, I’m gonna knock.
“Hai?” It’s another guy that
opens. The guy on the pic with Hwoarang.
“Is Hwoarang here?”
He
cocked his head to the left. “Hmm... yeah he’s here, but I would suggest to come
back later. His boyfriend just dumped him and well, he’s not taking it lightly.
Got any message?
”
“I’M his boyfriend. I need to talk to him,
quick...!”
“You’re that Jin guy then. Yeah, might be better for you to
talk to him.”
“Who’s there, Ran?” another voice asked. Nope, not
Hwoarang.
“It’s Jin. He wants to talk to Hwoarang. I let him in or
what?”
“Of course...”
Ran introduced me to the other young man in
the room, Seung. I think Hwoa mentionned him a few times... “The room over
there” he said as he pointed to the blue door. Weird colors... nevermind that. I
quietly open the door, expecting a dead Hwoarang.
Whew. He’s curled up on
the bed, Reiko by his side. Heartbroking sight... no they’re not doing anything.
But Hwoarang looks so sad... take a deep breath Jin. Now go ahead and talk to
him. “.... Hwoarang? Could I talk to you...?”
“Jin?” He raises his head.
I can see he cried a lot... poor Hwoarang.... I feel so bad. Breaks my
heart.
“I’m gonna leave you two alone, warn me if something happens,
OK?”
Hwoarang nods, and waits until Reiko is out of the room to come to
me and literally jump in my arms, still sobbing. “Hwoarang... I’m so
sorry....”
Hwoarang’s POV
“I told you I was right.... still
you listened to her instead of me. I know you’ve been knowing her for a long
time, still it felt pretty weird. Like I was less... important to you. Like you
trusted her more than me...”
“That’s where you’re wrong, koibito.
You’re.... my whole life. I love you much more than anything. I’m ready to...
to... give up everything for you. So please... come back to me. I need you. And
judging by your looks, you need me as well. I refuse to leave you.”
“It’s
because of me you’re here. If we hadn’t met, you wouldn’t be here. You and
Xiaoyu’d be living happily ever after. I’m not worthy of being with
you...”
He shakes his head. What is he going to say now? “Stop it
Hwoarang. Stop blaming yourself for everything, because you know it’s not true.
It would’ve happened if I had being with a girl instead. And if it’s to be with
you all my life, I’m ready to go through that everyday. I love you,
Hwoarang.”
Why is he in love with me? I’m just a normal guy, I’m not
special. Everyone I know or love ends up hurt, and I end up more depressed. “I
don’t get it... as soon as I’m finally close to someone, this person either
leaves me, or end up hurt... even dead... I’m sick of that! That’s why I have a
hard time dealing with people that want to get close to me. I don’t want them
hurt anymore...”
“Hwoarang....”
“I’m better off dead, Jin... I
don’t want to hurt anybody anymore!”
“IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT HWOARANG! That
kind of things happen... just... stop blaming yourself.”
“I can’t...
“
“Aww Hwoarang...”
I stayed a long time in his arms. I wasn’t
really feeling good but I knew I was safe with him. That nothing would happen to
me. I don’t want to wake up alone anymore, but I’m tired of being the cause of
so much pain.
“Let’s go back home... me and you... I’ll tell Xiaoyu to
leave. She’ll understand, I think. And I swear that I won’t let anything happen
to you.”
I don’t want to leave from his arms. Promise me you’ll take me
in them as soon as we reach your appartment. Don’t leave me. “Don’t leave
me...”
“I won’t. Let’s go back home, Hwoarang... and we’ll try to live
happily ever after.”
“Do you seriously think you can live with me? Won’t
I be a burden for you?”
“Of course not... why do you think I came
here?”
“I don’t know...”
“Because I love you. And that I want you
back in my life. Please Hwoarang... come back...”
I felt something cold
on my shoulder. Tears. I’ve never seen him cry before... could he love me that
much? To the point he’d have no more reasons to live? “Alright...”
“Thank
you, koibito. Thank you so much...”
We finally exited the room. The guys
were still there, Reiko on the couch, Ran and Seung sitting at the table. I’m
physically and mentally tired, I think I’m going to fall asleep in the
car.
“Feeling better, Hwoarang?”
I nod. “Yeah.” Reiko gave me a
big hug before letting me go back to Jin.
“I told you he’d figure it out.
You’re a lucky guy. Others would’ve never figured it out, or would have done so
too late.” He turned to face Jin. “Take good care of him. I know you will, he
needs you. And well, I hope we’ll see each other again.”
“Don’t worry
Reiko. You’re gonna see us again” I told him. “Oh yeah. You won’t get rid of me
that easily hehehe.”
One last hug from the gang and we’re off. And Jin
didn’t seem jealous...
~ To be continued... ~
A/N 2 : Don’t worry,
this fic is FAR from being over. Still have stuff to write XD. Thanks for all
the reviews! =D. Next chappie should be up soon. What’s going to happen with
Xiaoyu?