I almost forgot to put this last "Cancer post" up here . . . . . . I can now officially say:
I AM a Breast Cancer SURVIVOR !!
It's almost like a bad dream. But upon waking, I appreciate how fortunate I am, and I am so thankful to God for bringing me and my family through this like only HE can. I now have a new appreciation for so many things in life that I didn't even know I took for granted: my child, my husband, friends, family, everything! Seeing life return to the trees and earth reviving from it's winter dreariness in spring brought a sense of breathless fascination to me. And as I sit out on the porch on a hot summer evening, I feel all the awe and wonder of a child seeing fireflies for the first time.
I am now a SURVIVOR. It's now part of who I am. It's etched into my psyche and I'm reminded of it almost every minute of every day. I still have a long way to go before I can truly put breast cancer behind me. I will always have the scars and memories, the tingling fear in my stomach when I think back on the toxic liquids that dripped into my veins, that mingling of physical sensations as my hair began to fall out, the queasiness, the uncertainty of it all, the radiation burns. And it's not over by a long shot. There are still visits to my "darling" oncologist every few months, the battery of tests that I will always be subjected to everytime something doesn't look totally "normal".
Five Years. In five years, if it doesn't come back, I will be considered cured. In the meantime, I dread the testing each time I have an "unexplained ache or piain" and dread the anxiety of waiting for the test results.
But I LIVE, nonetheless, and for the rest of my life, I will treasure every moment! I will treasure every argument my hubby and I get into along the way - thankful that I'm here to argue with him. Treasure everytime I get "caught" in the rain - enjoy the feel of it soaking me as I think of how it feeds the earth and keeps everything alive - remembering how God "fed" me along the way and kept me alive through this terrifying process. You may have to remind me that I said this, but I will treasure every "up and down" with Damon's homework - thankful that I'm alive to help him through this process and see him through another growth spurt. I will treasure that "crazy, hectic" time of year during the holidays and instead of getting snippity and stressed, I will revel in the fact that I am here to experience it with my family and friends. . . . . I will be thankful for my life and all that it holds. . . . . forever.
I will continue to post periodically to this site to pass on surgery related information - but automated emails will go out to those of you whom I have emails for when that happens. For now, this is the END of my breast cancer webpage. More surgery related postings won't come until probably around September/October.
Have a good day (& thanks for following along!). . . . .
Christy (& Philip & Damon)