I've experienced the same side effects as before : nausea, bone aches, muscle aches, fatigue, and that awful taste in my mouth. It's been really hard for me this time - and I don't know if it's because the side effects were harsher on me, or if I just didn't handle them as well as I have before.
The side effect seem to "war against each other", and fixing one side effect seems to make another worse. There's no winning this game. Normally, if you're sick to your stomach, you don't want to eat, and aren't even hungry - so the problem is mostly solved. With this, I'm sick to my stomach at the same time that I'm hungry. And, on top of that, all the food I put in my mouth tastes yucky. So, in order to get rid of the severe hunger pains (and nausea caused from having nothing in my stomach), I have to force myself to eat - no matter how yucky it may taste. Then, that in of itself makes me more nauseated. It's just an endless, vicious cycle. In order to get my muscles/bones to feel better, I need to sleep and get some rest. However, when I lay down, it doesn't help much because it makes me ache more- but if I don't get my rest, that naturally makes me ache more. Again, it's just a vicious cycle. Even during a "good week", I don't sleep all that well -tossing and turning every couple of hours through the night. However, during this bad week - I toss and turn every hour almost - I always glance at the clock as I roll over and it never fails - every hour. I just can't get comfortable for any longer than that - and I can't sleep. Napping during the day gives me the same problems - so although I do get some rest, the benefits don't last very long.
Right now, I'm experiencing a strange side effect. Ya know how it feels when you bend over to tie your shoe for too long and all the blood rushes to your head . . . and when you stand back up, you can feel and hear your heart pumping in your head and ears ?? Well, whenever I do something as simple as pick a piece of paper up off the floor, walk slowly up the stairs, blow my nose, cough or even get up from a sitting position on the couch - I experience that in my entire torso area. I can feel it in my chest, my lower back, my abdomen - everywhere from the waist up -AND, it has a sharpness to it - a sharp stabbing throb to it. I don't understand it, or where this side effect is coming from. . . . . it's not excruciating, but it isn't pleasant - and it makes me have to stop and 'breathe through it" until it stops. I'm going to have to ask the doctor about that tomorrow when I see him.
I see the Doctor every Friday between chemo treatments - to get a shot and to get bloodwork done - I feel like I'm constantly at their office- I think these nurses are going to be my best friends once this is all said an done.
But, now we're headed into an upswing overall. I don't hurt anymore (except for the throbbing thing). I'm still nauseated periodically, and am extremely tired and worn out. From experience, I know that the fatigue will start to get a little better, and the nausea will diminish . . . . slowly over the next week. I just have to learn from the "spoon theory" that if I want to do something, I need to bide my time and save up my energy for that event. . . . . I just really have to plan ahead and make sure whatever I'm doing is really important to me.
I'm really dying to get out of the house after being cooped up all week - so I suggested to Philip that I could go to the grocery store. Sad, isn't it ? When a trip to the grocery store seems like "such an exciting adventure"! I told him I could drive the little grandma cart and do the shopping - I could get out of the house, and actually accomplish something for him and take a little bit of the load off of his shoulders. He laughed at me and is now making me do something "fun" like go to the movies or something. He won't let me go to the store - even to help him! He said that I don't feel like getting out that often, and that I need to take those chances and do what I want to do - not try to do chores. He's so sweet - Boy, I snatched a good one, didn't I ? :-)
So, since scheduling conflicts are preventing friends from going with me, I'm taking MYSELF to the movies. I have no idea what I'm gonna see, but I'm going to get out tomorrow after my doctors appointment and do it. I'll probably see a real sappy "girly" movie!
Then this weekend, I've saved up what energy I have in order to decorate our Christmas Tree together. . . . . . Damon is so excited. We have the lights on (we cheated - a Pre Lit Tree!),so all we have to do is add the beads, ornaments, angel, and poinsetteas. I think it will be a nice time together (as long as we don't all get on each other's nerves! HA - I don't think that will happen!!!)
Until I have more information . . . . . . . .
CHRISTY
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