I dreamed I was a purple hippogriff
out picking daisies on a rocky cliff
when on the scene came dancer gypsy lee
who stripped the veil from her anatomee
(it was a veil of 20-carat sable)
and done a swan dance on the kitchen table,
then fled the dream and i was in the street
hip-deep in snow with nothing on my feet.
and in a palm tree was an ostrich nest
with mom and poppa ostrich fast at rest
but o and o alas, and leave us weep
tears large like equine fecal apples
for on the ground young oscar ostrich lay
and round his corpse the icy winds did play
(dear god, I moaned, this crime is gypsy lee's.
she's robbed his plumes behind and left
him here to freeze.)
o vanity, i hiss, thy name is woman.
a crime like this i classify inhooman.
so back i stagger to my humble room
i know
i know
i know
i know that i must drink full sixty beers
and swing head-down from rusty chandeliers
or whales with tails will follow me
and ultimately gnaw and swallow me.
i drink two quarts of gin, some 7-crown,
a mickey finn to kind of keep it down
and out again i stagger on the street.