If you are well dressed, she thinks you are a playboy
If you are not, she thinks you are rugged
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don’t, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are a liar
If you don’t, you are good for nothing
If you agree with all her likes, she is abusing
If you don’t, you are not understanding
If you make romance, you are an "Experienced Man"
If you don’t, you are a "Half-half a man"
If you visit her often, she thinks you are boring
If you don’t, she accuse you of double crossing
If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel
If she is visited by another, she says "Oh! It’s natural, we are girls!"
If you are late, she complains "It is hard to wait"
If you come on time, for hours she makes you wait
If you propose love within a brief acquaintanceship, you are a fresh guy
If you propose love later, she wonders "Why"
If you fail to assist her to cross the road you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it is just one of man’s tactics
If you are jealous, she says it is bad
If you are not, she doubts your love and is not glad
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are bold and nothing
If you attempt romance, she says you don’t respect her
If you listen to her, she wants you to talk
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you contradict her, she does not like it
If you don’t, she thinks you are gullible

"Oh... Women"
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, but so desirable
So hard to live with
So hard to live without