HeWho

   This is, by far, my favorite quote. Dr. Johnson, who ever he is, has been able to sum up what I've realized about my behavior during my depression. Unconsciously, I sabotaged my self image and my relationships with those around me. Therefore I, and others, viewed me as a beast, devouring my sanity and their perspective on me. I would like to apologize to everyone I treated poorly. It can't be excused, though my dpression took me over. It acted as a virus would, eating away at behaviors, memories, and my sanity, replacing it with everything negative in my life.
    I was stuck in a world where I only saw red and black. I learned much about myself during this time and during the aftermath. Though still hanging in that aftermath, I know that all will be perfect soon enough.
    This quote appears in both the movie nd book versions of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson. Both of these are brilliant pieces of work, and both begin with this quote.
    My interpretation of this quote is that the converse is reality: By getting rid of the pain of being a man, one becomes a beast. This would be the reality of my depression. I denied my pain by just wanting to be better, which ultimately destroyed the life that I knew, a good life, and only a beast could do that.
    While I may have learned much from my experience, I have been rebuilding my life for a good two months now. If I were to back out of that, I would again become the "beast." This is not an option as I could lose everything, never becoming the person I want to. Friends, Family, Loved Ones, and Myself all got pushed to the rear of my mind, leaving each to be dealt with now, and all at once.
    My beast has for two months been dead, and now is the time to be a man. The venture has been educational and fun. Rebuilding ones life can be both, as long as you realize the goal takes much work. Don't give up sight of the goal, or else lose all progress and then some.

Signed in truth,
Dale