Once I was back in Tokyo, I called Kazuki. I was now finding myself more and more drawn to talking to him. I felt better...more alive. It was a scary thought for me since I realized I was allowing him in. Inside my very fragile mind and my even more fragile being. But I didn't let him know that. Without that knowledge he didn't have the power and I was fine with that. The last thing I needed in my life right now was anyone having that much power over me again. His cell phone rang for a moment before he picked up. I leaned against the cab seat as he said,

"Hai."

"Hey."

"Yuurei. How are you?"

"I'm fine. I'm on my way home."

"Oh you came back from Kyoto already."

"A little while ago."

"I'm glad you called."

"I'm sure you are. What are you doing up so late?"

"It's not late."

"It's almost three thirty in the morning."

"It's early. Depending on how you look at it."

I paused as I said,

"Stupid fox."

He laughed again as he said,

"Are you tired?"

"Not really. I slept on the train."

"Can I stop in and see you?"

"Don't you have work later this morning?"

"No. Not that I know of."

"Even if you did you would blow it off just for me wouldn't you?"

"Confident in yourself aren't you Yuurei?"

"No, I'm just learning to read you better."

He laughed as he said,

"You're right. So...can I?"

"If you want. Doesn't matter either way."

He laughed slightly as he said,

"I'll be there soon."

"Hai."

We hung up as I went home.

Kazuki ended up meeting me up at my apartment around the same time. By four thirty we were in my bed, me looking up at him as he rested his head on his hand, his elbow propped up as he glanced down at me, his free hand under my chin as I rested my own hands on my stomach, clasped loosely. His messy dark hair fell over his eyes as he smiled that fox's grin at me as I said,

"What?"

"Nothing...just admiring you."

"You do that all the time."

"I know."

His fingers brushed under my chin as I glanced up at him again. He leaned down as he kissed me, his hand on my throat, slightly rubbing the skin as we kissed. I brought my hands up to his hair, pulling it back, feeling the soft silky strands. I never imagined his hair would be that soft. When he pulled back he said,

"You tired?"

"Iie. Just thinking."

"About?"

"Nothing."

He reached up to my wrist as he kissed the inside of my palm and said,

"You're always thinking about nothing."

"I know."

He then kissed me once more before he laid down beside me and said,

"Good night."

"Good night."

It got quiet afterwards and soon he fell asleep. When I turned to look at him, I saw that same peaceful face as before. I realized that I was also very afraid of him. Afraid of what he would uncover in me when I tried so damn hard to keep it buried and hidden. Whatever he could make me feel only rose terror inside me when I realized how much damage that could do then good. It could fuck up everything both in my personal life and in my job. I didn't need this added stress considering my current employment did that enough. In a way, I understood Jo more then ever when he said how terrified he was of having anyone love him and him love them in return. Knowing Kazuki could even somewhat attempt to rise feelings of love was something that began to shake me to the core. Remembering how bad it was the first time around with Toki did I really want to put myself through that again? I looked at my sleeping fox as I turned on my side and swept a stray strand of his hair away from his face as I thought to myself, this isn't Toki. There was no one else in his life that he could run back to, or that he was going to run back to and no one else he said he loved. He wouldn't use me as a middle point when he got into a fight with whoever, I wouldn't be his rebound toy. Kazuki wouldn't play with me then set me down until a later time when he needed amusement again. He wouldn't put me through the inferno Toki constantly did. But then again there was no guarantee of any of that either. I hardly knew him anyway...for all I know, I could be something he was playing with. I was torturing myself again. So I stopped and got close to Kazuki as I fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up alone. I sat up from my bed as I pulled my hair back from my face as I then saw the door of my room was closed. Considering I never really shut it, I got out of bed and went to open it. Once I did, I smelled something coming from the kitchen and I went to go see what it was. There, Kazuki was making breakfast. Of course he wasn't actually cooking but just putting take out on plates. He saw me coming in as he said,

"You're up sooner then I expected."

I looked at the clock in the living room as I said,

"It's almost nine."

"I thought you would be asleep for another hour at the most."

I shook my head as I said,

"What is all this?"

"Breakfast. And coffee. Hazelnut. Because it's all you drink."

I shook my head as I suppressed the urge to smile as I turned quickly and went back to brush my teeth. Once I came back, he set the plates in the dining room as we sat down and began to eat.

For the rest of the morning, Kazuki was at my apartment. We watched the news in silence, drinking the rest of our coffee as we sat on my sofa. Around early noon, he said he should go home to change since he was still wearing the same dress pants and shirt from the previous night. I nodded, getting up and accompanying him to the door. As I opened it for him to leave, he leaned down, kissing me gently, his lips pressed against mine as I kissed back. I felt his head turn slightly as I parted my lips for him and his tongue slid inside. I closed my eyes, feeling that kiss for all it was worth. I felt his hand on the side of my hair as he then moved back and left, giving me one more fox's grin as he said,

"You taste like coffee."

"Stupid fox....I was just drinking coffee."

He laughed as he then left to go change. Later that day, Jun called as he asked if I was interested in going to play cards tonight at the Kabuki-Cho.

"You actually wanna go to the Kabuki-Cho district?"

"Hai. Akio invited me. He offered an actual challenge."

"Sou ka. You and your challenges."

"So, you coming?"

"I guess. I don't have anything else to do tonight."

"Good. I'll stop by your place then."

"I still can't believe you don't mind going to the Kabuki-Cho."

"I know. The things I do to entertain myself."

I shook my head then hung up once we confirmed everything. Later that night, I got dressed in my black suit and white shirt as Jun picked me up around nine. He looked rather nice himself in his black suit with a dark blue shirt underneath, the buttons undone slightly, but that's because he knew that the trio always dressed up when heading into the Kabuki-Cho. Even Toki. We took a cab into the Kabuki-Cho district and stopped at a bar, near some clubs where the usual scene was headed. Jun walked ahead after paying the fare and we went inside. The bar itself was beautiful in environment, loud in sound and dim in light also clouded by smoke. Jun lead me towards the back were glass walls were put up and we had to walk around them and entered what seemed to be a private room. There, the trio sat, Aoki in his usual full length black coat, white shirt under it hardly done up, Akio to his right in a black button down shirt buttoned only in the middle while he wore his fedora again, tilted to the side, dark brown hair pouring over his shoulder. Toki sat on Aoki's left in a black coat buttoned in the middle, no shirt underneath so his platinum chain fell against his bare skin. He too had a fedora on tilted slightly to the side and all three smoked. Aoki nodded his head to us as we sat down and a waitress came by. She set a tray down full of sake and tall cups as she said,

"Can I get you gentlemen anything else?"

Akio dismissed her with a wave of his hand as he said,

"Okay, let's start the game huh?"

Toki nodded, removing his cigarette from his mouth as he picked up a glass and began pouring some sake. He then said,

"I gotta get better at this shit man."

"You've gotten better in the past couple of months." Said Aoki as he shuffled the cards.

"Jun can still kick all our sorry asses at this shit though." Said Akio.

Jun gave a cocky smile as he said,

"One day you guys will beat me. One day in the far off distant future."

Akio laughed slightly as Toki said,

"Jus for that Imma learn this game now."

Aoki finished shuffling as he passed out the cards.

"Okay we'll play for real money this time. None of this pocket change bull shit."

We nodded in agreement and soon the game went underway.

Girls surrounded us by the hour, pouring drinks for us and some settling around the trio. Toki loved the attention but didn't dare touch any of them since he didn't like Japanese women. Aoki flirted a little but his mind was on the game. Akio however, had to be called back every now and then since he was busy sweet talking some female beside him. Jun didn't pay any of them attention and neither did. We were both concentration on the game and the high stakes it was rising to. By midnight, it was just Jun and Aoki since I folded since I was no longer sure of Aoki's bluff. Rather then continue loosing every cent I had, I got out while I was still ahead. Aoki and Jun went on for another hour before Jun called and revealed his hand, winning as Aoki cursed, throwing down his cards as he lit another cigarette and said,

"I hate you."

Jun laughed as he picked up his stack of yen and began folding it as Toki licked the rim of the glass and said,

"I'm bored. But I already lost a chunk of change."

Jun sighed as he said,

"Look, I won all your money. Let's have dinner at the least."

He looked at Toki as Toki continued licking the rim of his glass as if trying to get every last drop out. Jun then said,

"...Or in case of others, a drink."

Akio nodded as he said,

"Thanks Jun."

Aoki nodded as I agreed and we had dinner then. Spending time with the trio was not as bad as I once made it out to be. Sure they talked about sex....every few seconds, but most of the time they made fun of each other. As Akio spoke about something he did, he then shook his head and said,

"Okay, enough about me. Let's talk about you guys. What do you guys think of me?"

Aoki shook his head, laughing slightly as Toki laughed and said,

"You're a sexy bitch Akio."

"Yeah I know. So are you Toki-chu."

Toki smiled as they flirted with each other across the table as Jun shook his head and then said,

"Is this all you guys do if there's no one to hit on? You hit on each other?"

Aoki nodded as he said,

"They do this all the time."

Akio smirked a she said,

"What? Toki's sexy. I'd fuck him."

"You're welcome to it."

"Nah, you need to be my uke."

"Nah Playboy. Toki-sama does not do the uke thing."

Akio, Aoki and Jun laughed as Akio said,

"Since when are you Toki-sama?"

"That's what Ryuhei calls me." He said with a smirk.

Akio waved him off as he said,

"Man, what your whore calls you doesn't count."

"Fine, lets ask someone else. Aoki, what's your seiai call you?"

"None of your damn business."

"Uh oh...Aoki's got a nickname." Teased Toki.

Aoki smirked slightly as he set his glass down and pushed up his sunglasses as he said,

"Yeah I do. So what."

"Now you got us all interested. Tell us. We're your boys." Said Akio.

"My boys don't need to know everything I do."

Toki shook his head as he said,

"I bet it's something corny or mushy."

"Neither." Said Aoki.

Toki and Akio looked at each other as Jun shook his head and set his glass down. After two cups of sake he was done. He then said,

"Well, it's been entertaining. I'm going to call it a night."

"Aite.. later Jun." Said Toki.

Aoki gave a nod as Akio said,

"Should I call you up next game?"

"Sure if you want."

I got up as well as I said,

"I'm going as well. Good night everyone."

Everyone said their good nights as I followed Jun out. We took a cab to my place were he then dropped me off and then went home.

Down time in Tokyo was better then it was anywhere else. Random meeting occurred during the weeks, Toshimasa and Xiao Tien came back from their rounds and took their usual break, Xiao Tien staying in Tokyo for a little while before going back to Kyoto, Jia calling in a group meeting to see how everyone was and how everyone was doing and the occasional call from Bangkok every now and then. Since Jia broke the Teo Chiu, but didn't dissolve it and the 24K were now running it without the rest of the crime world knowing, they checked in every now and then. Soryo had recuperated and was back to being the head of the 24K while his wife was along side him. His second in command continued running the 24K when Soryo was busy with the Teo Chiu. Niikura also dropped a line through the weeks as he organized himself and was able to make plans to come into Tokyo whenever Jia needed him. That was all going on business wise. Everything was in smooth working order. Personally, I was out and about either on my own, with Jun, the trio or Kazuki. Every other week or so, the trio called Jun and I for a game, or Jun and I went out somewhere and did the usual dinner, silent walk thing or a movie. Kazuki was moving in closer to me. That also scared me. The closer he got, the more defensive I became because I was so nervous. I didn't like to show my fear, or even give the hint I was afraid so I acted angry instead. I liked having Kazuki near me, I liked having him call every now and then, having him come over and sleep beside me without any sexual expectation, having him smile for me and want to see me all the time. I liked that a lot. But I also didn't want to depend on it for any reason, knowing anything could take that away. I was afraid to become attached to that and then have it torn away. I couldn't put myself through that. When Kazuki began talking to me about his personal manners in a casual tone, I caught on that he was opening up to me, with hopes I would do the same. I would listen but I wouldn't say anything in return, too scared to show anything other then my exterior.

This went on for a month during my down time. I wished silently to myself that Kazuki wouldn't catch on to how I wouldn't say a word of anything unless it had to do with business. But he wasn't stupid. Never that. One evening as he spoke to me as we had dinner at my place, he suddenly got quiet as I went to the kitchen. I came back as I said,

"Why'd you stop talking?"

"Because, my mouth hurts."

"Oh..."

"Why don't you talk?"

"I don't have anything to say."

"You always say that."

"It's true. I just...I'm not a good speaker. I like to listen."

"You only listen. You never say a word about anything unless it's go to do with your job."

"I'm not an interesting person. What do you want from me?"

"Minor conversation would be nice."

"I can speak about minor things."

"Why don't you tell me about yourself."

"Like what? I didn't do anything today. I told you I wasn't interesting."

"You're so selfish."

I stopped my actions as I looked up at him and said,

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You're so selfish. You don't want to say a word about yourself but I can give and give all I have to say but nothing from you. You say you're not interesting but that's just your opinion. You never let me even know anything to make a judgment or agree or disagree with you."

"I'm not selfish."

"Yes you are. So as well as frigid you're also selfish."

"Now I'm frigid again. God, Kazuki what do you want from me? Just tell me."

"I already did. Sometimes, I swear I'm wasting my time. It's like speaking to myself only every now and then I get the occasional body contact."

"So what do you want, an applause? Feedback? I'm not audience."

"You act like it since you never say anything back."

"So if you feel you're wasting your time as you just said, why don't you get out and leave me alone?"

"You could do that too can't you? So easily, just dismiss me like that and forget I even once existed in your universe can't you?"

"Yes."

He looked hurt when I said it. But it was true. I can act as if nothing had ever happened though in my mind I would torture myself with it. Kazuki then got up from the table as he went to reach for his coat. I wanted to say something but I didn't. I never did. He got his coat on as he walked back over to me and made me stand up. He kissed me, deeply, like the way he did before, slowly at first, then fierce, his tongue touching every part of my mouth as I kissed him back. I found myself reaching up to him, holding onto his coat as he then moved back. I sighed, breathless as I leaned my head on his chest. He held me in return as he said,

"I'm not wasting my time."

I paused, still saying nothing as I licked my lips. I closed my eyes, feeling his heart against my ear as I said,

"I don't want you to leave."

He held me closer to him as his hands worked their way through my hair. He then said,

"I won't then."

Inside....I felt happy though I knew I was being selfish and he was right. But I was happy for now. And I finally admitted to myself...Kazuki made me happy.