SF_Goldabar
SF Level
Designer |
Registered:
Jan 2001
Location:
NSW Australia
Posts:
138 | |
Let's
see......how do I begin.
Ok. I'm leaving SF. Over the
past few weeks I've been thinking about this a lot, it's been
a pretty hard decision to make really in some ways, but now
I've finally made it.
I'd love to say that I was
leaving because of "family issues" or " lack of spare time to
spend on SF". These two issues have a little to do with me
leaving, but not much. There are many more reasons, and at the
risk of making myself look like a total idiot, I feel that I
need to say these things out loud so that my leaving doesn't
just turn into a "he left because he needed to spend more time
with his family" thing.
Lately I feel, Opti, that you
care less and less about the hard work and effort that goes
into this game, and the people that put that effort in. I've
been getting this feeling from you for a while, and you've
made your attitude clear to me in your handling of the head
mapper issue, and your stance on the completion time of maps.
Firstly, the head mapper issue. I know that there is
very little chance of me becoming head mapper. In fact, the
main reason I wanted to be head mapper was so that I'd get a
little more inspired to get more involved with SF. A few weeks
ago I came sooooo close to leaving SF. So close. As in I was
already in the process of going elsewhere to work. But no, I
turned down the offer to go somewhere else at the last second
(I was about 10 minutes away from ICQ messaging you to tell
you I was leaving in fact) because I thought that maybe if I
had the chance to be head mapper I'd get a bit more "excited"
about SF again, like I was about a year ago, or when I first
joined this team. But in a chat with you the other night,
those hopes were squashed VERY quickly. You basically gave me
the message that "you=booss. me= tiny, unimportant mouse". You
did this inderectly mind you, you didn't just kinda say this
straight out. This is where my other reason for leaving comes
in. You also basically told me that I don't put in enough
effort (you seem to have come to this decision based on the
number of maps that I have done for SF so far). Now I know,
and I've said this before, I have only done 4 maps for SF. The
problem is that you don't seem to be able to understand that
making a good map takes a whole lot of time and effort. Its
almost as if you expect us mappers to be able to make a good
map every week, finished, tested and handed in.
The thing
with this attitude is that it shows that you really have no
respect for me and the mapping team, and I can't work with
someone who has no respect for me, simple as that. Also, even
after 2 years of hard work, you STILL basically would not even
consider me for head mapper. It doesn't worry me that I have
no chance, because really it was just a last ditch effort to
try to stay with SF, almost like a "test" set to choose for me
wether I should leave or not, but what it does show is what
you think of me. It shows that you don't care about me at all,
you really couldn't give a stuff if I was here or not, and
really, if thats the way you feel, why should I be here? I
think I'll feel a lot better about myself if I go somewhere
where I at least have a good chance of earning some respect.
A couple of incidents also come to mind that help to
back up this point. A while ago there was a SF team chat (that
everyone was invited to) to discuss some deals with Epic about
using the U2 engine, or something like that. I really wouldn't
know because I wasn't told about it. But I DID get to read the
transcript and I DID see people in that chat room saying
"Um.....what about Goldabar" and you know what reply they got?
None. None from you at all. Thanks a lot.
And then,
another incident (this incident is kinda petty but it still
shows how I've kinda be distanced form the team, even though
when this incident happened I think Opti knew that I was
working on a new map, so it's not like I wasn't doing anything
for SF at the time). The entire team had interviews with MGON,
and I was never told about it or asked if I wanted one. Again,
I don't care that I didn't get an interview, but I do care
that I had to go throught the feeling of being left out. That
hurt.
My thread about who should get lead mapper also
highlighted a few other things about you Opti. That you really
don't give a crap what we think, because you should get to
make all the decisions. When you're working on a game, you
work in a team. If you don't work as a team, things can start
to fall apart. Now I know that every team needs a leader, but
shouldn't every team be able to help with the decision making
every now and then? Especially when it comes to decisions that
affect everyone, not just the leader? You should try to make
things more diplomatic around here, instead of just playing
the boss man. People might be more happy that way, and they
may feel more inclined to contribute their ideas and feelings,
without fear of being put down before they even have a chance
to begin.
My last point is that I'm sick of the
secrecy that goes on around here. Well not so much secrecy,
but just the general "hiding" of bad things. Such as when
Desperado left. I think a lot of people know that he didn't
just leave to go to College, you had a lot to do with it too
Opti. Maybe for once you should try fixing your bad points
instead of just allowing the people who point them out to
leave.
I've heard another rumour as well Opti, and if
its true you could be in a lot of trouble. I'm not going to
say what I've heard about it, because it really could be just
a rumour (even though I have seen a few things that point to
it being true) but if it's true, then my God, it's terrible.
All I'll say is that it has to do with money (a fair amount of
it as far as I can tell). But again, I just kinda heard this
about an hour ago, I have no idea if its true, and it really
has nothing to do with me leaving. It's just really, really
bad. Makes me feel sick to the stomach to be honest 
Um, I guess
everyone should disregard this point, because really if it
turns out that I am completely wrong, I'll be the first to
apologise.
Ok, well thats it for the bad stuff I
guess. I just want to say that for the most part it has been a
fun ride, I've really enjoyed myself at times, and it sucks
that it has to end like this. I apologise if I've changed
anyone's opinion of me with this post, its just that I felt
that you all needed to know why I'm leaving, I didn't just
want to kind of disappear forever without anyone knowing where
I went.
We've had some really talented people go
throught this MOD throughout it's existance, and we still have
an absolute ton here. This really is a talented team. And
apart from the talent on this team, there's also a lot of nice
people on this team. We all get along really well, and if it
was allowed I think we'd function as more of a team really
well. I think there needs to be some work done before this can
happen. In any case, I wish the best of luck to you all in the
future, however things turn out. You're a great group of
people to work with, I'll miss you all 
One last thing.
Opti, I have a feeling that this post will be gone in a matter
of seconds when you see it. You do that, and you'll only be
showing me even more that you like to hide stuff like this
from the team. Be a man for once, leave this thread here, let
people make their own choice for once, their own decision.
Take it on the chin mate, like a man.
I'll see you all
later, thanks for the ride.
__________________
I am the very model of a
modern major gentleman (or something)
|
I'm leaving
SF 
08-25-2001
05:45 PM
not too much to
add to this... 
.jpg)
.jpg){kind=avatar}
08-26-2001
02:15 PM
