Before you begin this page, allow me to
give you my credentials so that you have an idea of my musical background:
CREDENTIALS
Oh, you thought that was
a link, did you? ...to a page listing all the reasons why I can converse intelligently
about lyrics and pitch and base and what-not? HAH! Fuhgetaboutit! I can't even
carry a tune! I sing in the shower, and the water backs up...my dogs cower under
the couch, and the roses wilt outside the bathroom window.
Let's face it, I'm primarily a movie buff...huge
H-U-G-E fan of the on-screen Russell Crowe. But
admiration for him has drawn me into his music world, where I rest content,
if not a little uninformed. But I know good music when I hear it. I was still
an unbeliever, however, when one of my 
dear
new-found Russell friends allowed me to listen to the music prior the August
18th concert in 2000. I listened and memorized as many of the words as I could
because, seriously, to go to Austin and attend the concert without at least
listening to the music first does Russell and TOFOG a huge disservice.
So I listened. Okay, I thought. He has
a wonderfully full, deep voice that crawls right into your brain and curls up
and makes you feel all warm and cozy right down to your toes. But the sound
itself...hey, I'm into Enya, Loreena McKinett, Vangelis, New Age sounds like
Adiemus, Taos and New Zealand's Oceania, and mellow mellow jazz;
throw in a little Dead Can Dance, and it's a far cry from 30 Odd Foot of Grunts
and their folksy rock (though the ballad 'Judas Cart' on their CD "Bastard
Life or Clarity" gives more than a little nod to Celtic folklore, and each
and every TOFOG song does indeed tell a story). Having said that, 'Oblique is
My Love' ran through my head at the oddest moments for months preceding my first
TOFOG concert...and 'Nowhere' kinda followed me everywhere after a while - previews
of the head-bobbing to come...! Still, I expected to go to the concert, gawk
at the most mesmerizing man on the planet from 30 odd feet away, tap my foot
a bit, and go home with a big wide grin on my face.
But when Russell Crowe, Dean, Garth, Dave, Dave, and Stewart rushed onto the
stage at 10:10pm on the night of the 18th of August 2000, forget that foot-tapping
thing. The energy was electric! I found myself clapping
to every song, and moving in ways that I haven't in years (I thought I'd break
a hip). I jumped high in the air and didn't have to be asked when
Kevin Durand took the stage - I thought we would all lose control! My
aching feet were forgotten, the sweat pouring down my face didn't matter a wit!
'Follows on, follows on!' And when Russell held
out his mic from the stage, and the crowd faithfully finished the lines to the
Barry Kable intro, I joined right in! What an incredible live performance!
I knew that the band members were very talented musicians, but
I didn't know that Russell was THAT good on guitar (Russell, you can say you
suck if you want, but you JAM,
baby)! It was a residue of that same credibility gap that he suffers
from the media: it's a 'hobby,' so he can, by definition, only be mediocre at
his musical craft. THINK AGAIN. The Man ROCKS! Not only
that, but he works incredibly hard to make every performance special for the
audience. He puts his heart and soul into every song, and moves
with a stunning combination of grace, agility and power. And his
charisma is a palpable entity: he got me to bob my head. I was still doing it
at 4:00 in the morning. He had 2400 lusting, adoring 
women
in the palm of his hand - we would've done anything for him. Yeth
Mathster! What would you have me do, Caesar? And the
head-jerking thing on the 3rd beat (or was it the 4th?)... Yeah,
I was one of the dorks who couldn't keep up, but, hey, he was distracting me:
I couldn't take my eyes off him, so I missed a few beats. So sue
me (for more on the TOFOG concert experience, please see the the Austin
Diary page)!
UPDATE 2002: When I first wrote this page, I was still in that first blush of the love affair TOFOG has with their fans... I was listening to my Gaslight CD as I wrote it, and am now listening to BLOC ("Bastard Life or Clarity"). What has changed? Before the concerts, I learned the words and absorbed the songs and appreciated Russell's soothing voice...but now? Now, the songs mean something... Now I feel the bass chords of 'Eternity' go right through me...now, I stop and listen to the words to 'Sail Those Same Oceans' and, and now, Lord help me, I flail away at my imaginery guitar as I blast 'Somebody Else's Princess' - and I mean BLAST IT - as if I were back in high school and it was 'Hotel California' all over again...(whoopsie, just gave away my age...)
Now, I must stop here: I refuse to make an idiot of myself and pretend that I know enough about music to go any deeper into the TOFOG sound itself: anything beyond "they sound great!" is gonna sound even stupider than that. So I'll do the next best thing and defer to a higher source: 30 Odd Foot of Grunts themselves. Click on the link, and learn more about the band than I could ever tell you in a lifetime.
Better
yet, buy the CDs and "calm down, and have a listen!"
All proceeds from ticket
sales and merchandise for the three 30 Odd Foot of Grunts concerts in August
2000 were donated to the People’s Community Clinic, an Austin charity that provides
health care to low-income families. We don't call him The Man for nothin'.
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