Raeh stood alone in a huge barren plain. The sky was dark; storm clouds roiled violently, as if at war. The only thing that moved on the cracked, parch wasteland was himself; under that hateful sky, he felt small and exposed. Dust kicked up sullenly at his footsteps, as if stubbornly denying his existence. As he walked, he realized there was no true color. It was all shades of beige; the sky, the dust, the few dying plants; all the same drab beige that spoke not of death but of the absence of life. A brief spark of life surfaced in his mind; a thought. He lifted his arm, leaving behind a sort of blurry after trail, like on bad video games when the character moves too fast. His arm was the same lack of color, the lifeless dullness of drought-tortured plains. What was this place? Was this truly his reality, or only a dream?
He took a hesitant step forward, then another, until he was walking across the parched earth. As he walked, dust began to cover his body until he resembled one of the mythical golems, given life from the earth. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Thus is the human body made. The only movement on the world was his footsteps, and the dust that billowed around his feet. The air was dry and stale; it felt as if it were pulling the moisture from his body. He could feel his lips cracking; his eyes were gritty, and his skin felt like it was too tight. He kept walking.
Something fell from the angry sky, striking up a small puff of dust. Another fell, and still more, striking him and the dust with equal impunity. He shielded his face until he realized it was rain, hitting with such force as to sting. The rain fell faster, harder, the droplets growing in size and force. They were lukewarm, but he was soon shivering, covered in water. As the rain covered him, the dust washed away, refusing to cling to him. The earth became sticky, sucking at his ragged boots.
He continued to squelch through the ever-thickening mud and pouring rain. As he went, he became more weary, as if the mud and the rain were pulling all of the energy from him. God, help me please, on my knees...
It was another Saturday night, and the lab was empty. Raeh was alone, left in the sensory deprivation tank for the weekend, attached to sensors and tubes that would take care of his needs. He could hear the blood in his ears and the whirr of the machines and the beeps of the monitors. It was supposed to be completely silent; would have been, to human ears. But he wasn�t human, really. Or at least, he wasn�t now. Nanorobots and special genes made up his body. There really wasn�t much carbon left in him, just enough to let him be called a life form. The water had become rather cold.
He heard something crash outside of the tank. A shadow flickered against the small window. A huge impact; the tank wall buckled, then ruptured, sending saline everywhere. Devoid of the buoyancy that had supported him, Raeh�s eleven year old body crumpled to the floor, tearing the sensors and life support, spraying liquid and coolant everywhere.
�U-ugh...� He jerked upright, hugging his bare body. �W-what...?!� A blow sent him crashing into a wall. He slid down into a heap, too shocked to make a sound. A huge armored figure, completely sheathed in black metal and razor spikes hulked over him, breathing heavily. A hand shot out, clenching his throat and pinning him to a wall. Raeh clawed at the gauntleted fist futilely, the metal tearing his water-softened fingers. His vision began to turn grey... �P-please... let... me...� he gasped for air. �Live...�
His sight darkened then turned crimson; he felt pressure rising in his body, he was going to explode, he was going to die, he was going to lose his mind. Roaring air and searing cold erupted, creating a razor sharp vacuum of negative space. Pain blossomed in his brain; he could hear the shriek of steel being sheared, and a wet-sounding pop. Something warm struck him. He opened his eyes. There was blood on his hands.
Betrayed by lust, we lied to each other so much...
Raeh looked up, his piercing sky blue eyes marred by pain and hurt. Elise didn�t care. She hated him. After all he had done... He snarled, caught between tears and rage.
Elise turned her back on him, her rose-gold hair blowing in the slight summer breeze. The scene would have been beautiful, if the city sky hadn�t been so yellow and had there not been street cars stalling on the road ten yards from the park. She would have been beautiful, if hate hadn�t been scarring her porcelain face. He would take that hate from her and (make her pretty, dancing doll) make her beautiful again.
He lashed out with a blast of power that left her lying on the ground. �Oh!� The rush of air from her lungs broke the silence. Her face was peaceful; her light green eyes (jade green, green dancing doll) open and glazing slowly. She looked like a (jade dancing) doll, her calico dress spread out on the green grass, in the flowers. A butterfly landed on her dress.
He turned fourteen that summer. Elise would have been fifteen. He arranged her arms and legs, and sat there, watching her face, until they took her away, took him away. He made her pretty again.
Now there�s nothing we trust...
Raeh was shoved roughly into the tank, head hooded and arms and legs bound. He twisted violently, trying to break free of wires that held him as surely as chains. His twenty-three year old body was much stronger than the average human�s; he knocked several burly guards senseless before they managed to close and latch the door, just in time. He snapped the bindings and tore off his hood.
He howled, enraged, betrayed. �Let me out of here!!! How can you be doing this to me? I trusted you! I TRUSTED YOU!!!� Stasis liquid crept up his legs. �How can you be doing this?� It climbed up to his chest. �I trusted you!!!� The liquid covered his mouth and eyes. I trusted you! The liquid filled his lungs, suffocating him with its gooey consistency.
�I trusted you, too.� Dr. Sammael turned his back on the limp figure in the tank. �But you couldn�t carry out orders. So promising.�
How can this be happening to me? I�m lying when I say trust me...
Raeh looked down on the little girl�s prone body. (Remember the Jade Dancer) How can I be doing this? He committed every detail to memory; her thin, lank mouse-brown hair, her pale, translucent skin, her thin, malnourished frame. He could count the veins in her arms. Her chest rose and fell as she took the shallow breaths of a terminally ill sleeping patient. Think of it as mercy. Mercy for the already dead.
He placed a hand over her face. She must have sensed something; the dying often develop a second sense for those who are healthy. �Raeh? Have you come to visit me?�
�Shh... I have a present for you.� (Are you going to make her pretty, Raeh?) He collected energy into his palm. He could at least give her a happy rest, send her to a land of happy memories and fond dreams... He prepared to flood her brain with an overdose of endorphin.
�I trust you. Thank you, Raeh.� She watched him with sightless eyes.
Something in him snapped. He couldn�t do it. I trust you. He wasn�t worthy of that trust. Think of it as mercy for the already dead, Raeh. She�s just a little girl. How hard can it be? It�s a human life. It�s just a little girl. What does it matter to you? You�re hardly human. I have blood on my hands. I have blood on my hands. I trust you. Mercy. Light gathered to blinding intensity, outlining his body in fire. I trust you. Mercy for the already dead. Mercy. I trust you. Blood on my hands, a little girl�s eyes, make her pretty, blood on my hands, don�t bleed, don�t bleed, you can�t bleed if you�re already dead...
�I can see you, Raeh!� Her voice sounded excited. �You�re beautiful! An angel!�
�I�m a bleeding angel... Mercy.� The light exploded from his body in a fury, releasing cold that caused the air to freeze and the walls to frost. Energy coursed through the hospital corridors, healing some and evaporating others on the spot. Walls cracked, lights burst, steel exploded into flesh-ripping shrapnel. And a little girl saw an angel, her last sight on this side of heaven.
Trust hurts... Why does trust equal suffering?
�I learned something on the streets, Raeh. Trust equals suffering. Don�t trust anyone, and they can�t hurt you. Don�t give them anything to take, and they can�t hurt you. If there�s nothing to feel pain, there�s nothing to be hurt.� Nick turned to walk away. �Absolutely nothing to trust.�
Absolutely nothing to trust.
It�s not true. Pain erupted, a small blossom in his chest. This is not what I am. My hands are clean! They�re clean, damn you! He lifted his hands to the sky. Pain roared in his ears. �They�re clean!� Blood dripped down his arms. Agony doubled him over. He sank to his knees. �They�re clean,� he whispered. �They�re clean...� Tears of blood- red blood- streamed down his face.
A breeze stirred his colorless hair. The growl of thunder was his only answer. The breeze brushed his face, and he imagined that he could hear a voice.
Come to me, Raeh... Come to me. You�ll never feel pain again. The pain ebbed. Never again... The voice commanded. He stumbled to his feet as the wind began to grow. The pain faded to a dull ache, as if he were missing some vital part.
Colors began to shimmer out of the dust and hazy mist. Violet and black, pale porcelain and pink. Soul-rending magenta eyes. A beautiful, commanding woman. �Who are you?� He asked, his voice hoarse and trembling.
�I am the heir to Eden. Come to me, and be whole. Come to me, and never feel pain.� Her voice was sensuous, promising all the pleasures of the flesh, an end to the pain and the beginning of a blessed numbness. �I am here to heal you, to guide you. I will teach you, and I will save you. Come to me.�
He took a step back.
�You will be mine... Or you will cease.� She waved her hand, her eyes somehow sad and angry at once. The ground trembled as the sky lashed down with lightning. �Witness the end of your soul.� The dead earth began to disappear into nothingness. Soon, he stood on a swiftly eroding patch of cracked ground. His feet began to disappear, his arms, his chest-
I can�t believe this is true.
He woke up, tangled in his sheets. He was drenched in sweat.
Come to me.
Trust brings suffering.
Suffering is the only one truth.