The New Road
in memory of my son, Colin Stephens
I walk this new road of life trying to look straight ahead,
most of the time I manage, but sometimes I want to be led.
Most of the time my mind can't concentrate, seems that I've lost the knack,
but grief comes over me unexpectedly, like slipping on ice that is black.
To live in this new world of mine is like walking on a minefield, I tiptoe about,
I try to be careful on bad days not to open the photo albums lest I freak out.
Oh I know the minefield is there and what it can contain -
happy memories, laughter, but with that also comes such pain.
What do I do as the years go on, I want to see that face that used to smile at me,
I look at the face and close my eyes and know his memory will never ever flee.
I then say, "Get a grip, woman you're getting older by the hour why do you fret?"
Just hold on to your faith, you know in your soul God's promise will be met.
So I turn it around, the crying, longing and reading books on grief,
I'm in a good place now tonight, calmer with this comfort, my remaining time here is brief!
We're here for a purpose and what mine is I'm still searching to find out,
I think I'm slowly "getting it" but it's been a struggle, of that there is no doubt.
We cried when we were born to this earth so many years ago,
We were thrust into this new place and and our hearts did feel some woe.
We had to leave the safety of our mother's womb where we felt safe and sound,
YET! there is another birth ahead for us, and our real home we will at last have found.
When all the advice is given and all the self-help books have been read,
I'll hold on to all that is really left, God's promise and all that He has said.
Alice Stephens
December 2, 2003