Chapter Ten: New Year's Runaways
For explanations of Japanese terms, check Terminologies at Writings main page.
Torikawa Sekai
"Those two kept disappearing these few days. I wonder what they're doing," I said out loud.
"Takagi-sempai and Kentaro-sempai are probably shopping for a truckload of souvenirs that, when brought back to Tokyo, will reveal their useless nature," Kuromura shrugged as she joined me and handed over a warm can of green tea. The two of us were out for yet another round of sightseeing after I had pestered her about it ever since waking up this morning.
Apparently, there was a light bout of early winter snow last night and the whole stretch of Tetsugaku no Michi was currently blanketed by a thin layer of puffy white snow.
I cleared away a patch of the fluff on the ground to leave enough space for both Kuromura and me to sit on without getting our jeans soaked with melted snow.
"Someone's being surprisingly gentlemanly today," she commented while sitting down and dangling her legs over the edge of the canal.
"I have always been gentlemanly," I pointed out. "Plus, the drink was your treat. It wouldn't hurt for me to be nice in return."
"It was my treat because a certain someone didn't bring enough money for this 'Kyoto tour' of his," Kuromura reminded me as she took a sip out of her green tea. "And now, you owe me a meal when we get back to Tokyo."
"What?" I turned to stare at her. "Do I have to?"
"Why, if I insist," Kuromura ended the subject calmly, turning her attention to the opposite bank where there were bare sakura trees with their branches speckled with midnight snow.
Exhaling, I watched as the cloud of vapour rose and dissolved into the air. Considering that Tetsugaku no Michi was supposedly one of the many famous spots in Japan, there were not many people around. Well, if there were, they would be thinking of how weird Kuromura and I must have looked.
Hmm... Two teenagers sitting on the ground by the canal which the Philosopher�s Path was built along, sipping green tea in silence... We would look like runaways. On the day before New Year, too.
How paradoxically fitting.
"Why is it that I've never heard you talk about your family, or lack thereof?" Kuromura asked suddenly, her crystal-blue eyes still fixed on the barren trees. The thin layer of snow littered around us seemed to cast an illusion, turning her eyes almost silver.
I pulled my gaze away from those eyes of hers that felt as if they could pierce through all the world's pretences and mine. "No one asked." I flicked a small piece of stone into the semi-frozen canal waters. "Besides, there are reasons as to why those who don't talk about their families keep that part unspoken unless necessary. Take yourself, for example."
At that, Kuromura turned her head swiftly to meet my glance. Then, as if given up on formulating a scathing remark to avoid revealing herself, she averted her glare back to the trees and gave a soft but audible sigh.
"My situation is... different," she lowered her sight to the slow waters below us. "Very different and incomprehensible."
Even when Kuromura sounded troubled, she still did not allow herself to be vulnerable. Jaw set, shoulders lowered but not slouched, eyes staring hard straight ahead. She looked determined to not let anything pass her wall, and not permitting herself to open up for anyone.
And I thought that girls were supposed to be talkative.
"You know, one day, I will make you share your thoughts with me the way normal friends do," I crossed my arms and gave Kuromura a confident grin.
"Yeah, right. So says the person who never talks about the absence of his family," she muttered before lifting the can of tea back to her lips.
"C'mon, what can there possibly be so interesting about being an orphan?" I leaned back on my arms. "Why would you want to know, anyways? Oh!"
Kuromura turned and shot me a suspicious glare.
"You do care! Wow, I'm making fast progress on the Ice Girl!" I grabbed a fistful of snow and threw them up as if they were confetti. "Hurray!"
"Act your age, will you?" Kuromura shook her head at my antics. "If you so desperately wanted me to share, it's only fair that you do the same first. No?"
Was she curious? Did this mean that she wanted to be on common ground as- dare I say it- friends? Whatever it was, Kuromura was still stubborn about not letting her "self" show. Well, it was a start.
"Hmm... As you already know, I'm an orphan," I pulled my legs under me from their crossed position and threw them over the edge of the canal just as Kuromura had done.
"Last I remember, you said that you have a father that sends you allowance from time to time."
"Yeah well, I'm an illegitimate child. My mother didn't know that my father was already a married man and she got herself pregnant with me," I breathed deeply before continuing. "My father wasn't expecting that to happen and he was unwilling to give my mother any promises. He wanted to keep his marriage, that cheating piece of crap."
"If he hadn't cheat on his wife, you wouldn't be here, you know," Kuromura drew her legs up and rested an elbow on one knee, never breaking eye contact with me.
"Sometimes I wished for that. There is just so much discrimination when people find out that you're born that way. But my mother had insisted on keeping me, so my father agreed to provide for me until I could take care of myself."
"At least he had the heart-"
"On the condition that my mother stopped seeing him and that no relative of my mother�s should ever look him up."
"Sheesh. If he cared so much for his family, he shouldn't have cheated on his wife," Kuromura rolled her eyes and reached for her green tea.
"Yeah, then I wouldn't be born too. How great is that?" I mused.
"Stop," she pointed a finger at me. "No one deserves the right to not exist. Don't berate yourself for your parents' mistake."
"Maybe, if my mother hadn't died." Kuromura�s eyes widened just a bit. "She wasn't a very healthy person, from what my late grandparents told me when they were still around. My mother died at childbirth.
"Directly or not, I was the cause of her death," I looked down at my hands. "In some way, I'm living on borrowed time. My mother's time."
"Gah!" Kuromura leaned over and slapped my hands away.
I blinked owlishly at her.
"Will you stop that? Why can't you just take it as you're the continuation of her life? So what if she died at childbirth? It's not as if things like that don't happen anymore. If you couldn't stop it, then you can't. It wasn't your fault."
"Why are you so insistent on convincing me that my life wasn't an error?" The Kuromura that I knew would rather have a truck run me over. Bribed the driver at that too, than to persuade me that my life was worth living.
"Well, because... because- yeah, well..." she stuttered, realising her contradictory act with a 'deer-in-the-headlights' look on her face. "Life itself is already a right to exist. If you can't accept that, then I suggest you to go jump off a building or something. Saves me the energy to lower my intelligence to your level just to communicate with you, too."
"Aww, you're so not cute, Aki-chan!" I pouted, but secretly a little glad that she bothered to comfort me. In her own sarcastic way, no less. "Does this mean that it's your turn to share your 'story'?"
"I'd rather not be cute, thank you very much. And I never did say that if you told me about yourself, I will definitely do likewise."
"Cheater!" I gasped dramatically at her, drawing out another round of eye-rolling from Kuromura. "I will make you talk, one day. With or without force!"
"Not likely to happen. Continue dreaming, won't you?" Kuromura stood up, finishing her green tea and extended a hand to help me up.
"Déjà vu?" I asked as she gave me a pull.
"Huh?"
"I could just smell the start of a beautiful friendship in the cold winter air," I grinned as a certain autumn morning in our school's kendo dojo relived in my mind.
"Not friends, mister. Acquaintances," Kuromura corrected.
"The blossoming of our phenomenal acquaintance-ship," I edited, ignoring her exasperated sigh. "Well, my dear acquaintance, do you happen to have enough funds for our lunch?"
"That depends on, my worse-off acquaintance, whether you have enough to repay me when we return to Tokyo," Kuromura replied with a sly grin. "I expect interest too."
"Money sucker!"
Pretending to have not heard my comment, Kuromura started walking off, humming to herself.
"I know that song!" I began to hum, strolling behind her.
"That's not the song."
"Is too!"
"Is not."
"Is too!" SMACK! "Oww! Okay, maybe not..."
"Good boy."
Kuromura Aki
It was the night of New Year's Eve, just minutes away from the stroke of midnight that would bring forth another year. Which meant that it was one more year closer towards the inevitable end of my matters with my family.
I frowned and pushed it away from my mind for now. Surely it was not safe to climb the roof of some shrine with one's mind occupied with other thoughts.
"Kuromura!" Great. Torikawa's voice was just the perfect distraction to anything. "Help!"
Rolling my eyes, I abandoned the spot where I had only begun to make myself comfortable in and leaned over to grab the bag that he was holding, just seconds away from becoming a splatter of mess on the ground a good four metres below.
"You know, I'm sure the noodles aren't as important as I am," Torikawa pouted at me for ignoring him and sitting back down after I had made sure that the bag of toshikoshi-soba from the inn was secured.
"It is New Year's soba. And I'm quite certain that there is a whole list of things that are much more important than you. Now wipe off that dumb look and go help Takagi and Kentaro."
Moments later, the four of us were seated on the roof of some random shrine at the top of a hill, which we had agreed on earlier, that had the best view of the lights from the rest of the city without any oppressing crowds. Bags of chips and bottles of soft drinks were arranged around us as if we owned the place.
And let us not forget our soba.
As we listened to the loud resounding GONG of the Joya no Kane, Takagi and Kentaro began rattling off a list of earthly desires while Torikawa kept track. In the mean time, I was helpfully vocal about my doubt that they could compile it to anywhere near one hundred and eight.
"Kuromura, say something! It's not fun if you don't join in," Torikawa tilted his head towards me and attempted at what I presumed to be an adorable puppy look.
Takagi and Kentaro nodded enthusiastically as they slurped the soba; midnight had already come.
"All right, one desire," I gave an exasperatedly sigh and said the first thing that came to my mind. "I want light. No more darkness."
The three of them looked quizzically at me.
"Aki-chan, there will be light when the sun rises," Kentaro stated with a confused frown.
"I know. Just- I can't explain it. Never mind, it's nothing."
I caught Torikawa peering at me with concern, from the corner of my eye, but decided to ignore him and concentrate on the soft golden lights dotting the streets along the foot of the hill instead.
"I know what one of my desires is!" Torikawa suddenly announced after a length of awkward silence. "I want a cute girlfriend!"
"For goodness' sake, that's so overrated!" Takagi rolled his eyes.
"What? Like you don't wish for that?"
"Don't get so defensive. I'm sure you will grow up in due time and realise how impressively immature you sounded this very day," I said before taking a gulp from my bottle.
"Kuromura! That was mean!" was the last thing I heard before chips were showered upon my face while Takagi and Kentaro burst into laughter.
My cryptic answer those few minutes ago were left forgotten, fading into a velvet backdrop of the dark purple sky as on-going bell chimes resonated in the air, while we got into an impromptu food fight atop the temple roof. Even for one elusive nanosecond, everything else would be a welcomed fantasy to stop my mind from dreading the approaching confrontation with the family curse.
...To be continued