Lynette Scavo has every right to be upset. After Tom's nightmare-ish one-night-stand from eleven years moves to Fairview with Tom's daughter, she has ingratiated herself into the family. Six months after the season finale, Nora is insisting on being in the Scavo family Christmas card picture and is stopping by every five minutes. When Parker's birthday comes around, Lynette says it's okay for Kayla, Tom's daughter to be there, but Crazy cannot show up. When Crazy calls and hears a party in the background, Lynette calls Gabrielle and asks her answering machine if they can use her background and move the party down to the Solis house. They quickly move the party as Edie is showing the Young House to a couple wanting a quiet neighbourhood. "Uh, let me show you the media room" Edie says. Sliding the cake through the kitchen to hide it from Crazy, she gets caught when a kid comes out of the bathroom. However, she tells Tom that she makes him his first priority, which causes Tom to stand up to Crazy. Go Team Scavo!
Other Highlights Gabrielle has gotten rid of Carlos but is forced to deal with Xiao Mei, who is still carrying her baby. "I am THE meanest person you know. You've been in this country a year. Learn to modify your nouns, DAMMIT." Gabrielle says in the middle of a fight, to which Xiao Mei responds "What. A. Bitch." Gabrielle threatens deportation, and now she and Carlos have to find her. Edie, showing the Young House, finds her in a closet. "Let me show you the media room." Gabrielle explains how Carlos has ruined HER American dream. Mike has been in a coma for six months, and Susan meets Dashing British Bloke Ian, who is carrying for his own wife in a coma. She shaves and cuts Mike, asking him for his permission for dinner. My question is, what would a person like Ian want to do with Susan? The show is called DESPERATE Housewives, NOT Pathetic Housewives! And Bree? Well...not learning her lesson after Creepy Pharmacist George, she ignores Jackie from Roseanne's advice about Deranged Dentist Dude Orson being a killer. Wanting to wait for marriage before consummating, Deranged Dentist Dude Orson tells her all about how he cleans stains, which turns Bree on. He decides to perform oral sex on her (Poor Kyle Machlachlan!), although Bree explains that she is a Republican and therefore does not engage in such activity. He does anyway, giving Bree her first orgasm, which she mistakes for a small stroke. So the question is...what exactly did happen to Deranged Dentist Dude Orson's first wife? And when will Bree stop falling for the psychotics? And where the hell is Andrew Van De Kamp? And did anyone miss the Applewhites? *crickets chirp* |
