As a Republican, Bree Hodge knows a thing or two about sabotage. So when it comes time to break up her daughter, Danielle, and the old goat, er, history teacher, Bree decides to simply walk in on the two of them fornicating in the cheap motel. Danielle strikes back by staging a suicide attempt. Never has suicide been so funny, although Deranged Dentist Dude Orson had to yell at Andrew and put a stop to his enjoyment. (Andrew, seriously, what happened to your boyfriend? I mean, Ryan Carnes turned down Sloppy Seconds for you!) So when Danielle threatened to leave forever at family counseling (What happpened to Dr. Goldstein? He's alive. NBC is screwing Scrubs over as usual, so Sam Lloyd's free!) if Bree did anything to break them up, Bree used her best Republican pre-emptive tactics and packed Danielle's bags to move her in with Old Goat History Teacher Scumbag. Suddenly, the teacher breaks up with Danielle, leaving Danielle to go to the principal, get him fired and make a tape for teacher's wife. Danielle's so good at screwing people over she should join Young Republicans and make Bree REALLY proud.
Elsewhere on Wisteria Lane Susan continued to not understand the difference between "desperate" and "pathetic" as she dressed in a bad sunglass/hat outfit to try to get Mike to remember a past I'm sure he's better off not remembering, and Edie lay stake in Mike, telling Susan that he's her's and called Susan self-absorbed. Seriously, Edie's the Evil One? Who slept with whose boyfriend? Who burnt whose house down first? Gabrielle was jealous when Carlos brought home a drunken slut named Trishelle (Hmm, where'd they EVER get the idea to name a drunken slut Trishelle?), so Gabrielle brought home Carlos' Latin Business Rival Phil (cause Phil is such a Hispanic name), and instead of sleeping with him, she had what Meg Ryan was having and humped the bed...which Carlos caught her doing. So Gabrielle brought home a Random Dude for Carlos to see her with so Carlos knew how much she hates his guts. �Viva Team Gabrielle! The writers obviously forgot Felicity Huffman has an Emmy, Golden Globe, and SAG as Lynette tried her best to protest while supporting Tom in his ridiculous starting a Pizza Parlour idea. So Crazy let Tom know how supportive she was as she tells her daughter her plans to get Daddy back. Austin Who Is Not That Hot told Julie a sob story to get her to write a paper for him, then he slept with Ann-Who-Oh Her from Arrested Development. So Julie switched the paper and wrote him one that got him a D-. Oh, and remember the corpse found on the second episode? Turns out it had a phone number written on it. A number for Delfino Plumbing. Uh. Oh. |
