 Lynette Scavo
Gabrielle Solis
It's a tie! Lynette rocked tonight as she daydreamed about her neighbour, Mrs. McClusky, dropping dead, then after daydreaming actually saved her life. Mrs. McClusky then thought Lynette had to be her guardian, and Lynette let her sympathy come in, even though the neighbour drove her up the wall more than her kids. "Honey, I'm hating you a little bit right now" she reminds her husband Tom when he has no sage words of advice. And Gabrielle? GABRIELLE SOLIS. She sits there rambling on about the evilness of Carlos as Jesse Metcalfe, I mean, John Rowland is trying to mess around with her. She then cons a man into buying her dinner when John's credit card is declined (What, explain that the credit card was cancelled by my lover's Mommy? Return the shoes? I can't talk to you when you're being hysterical). Then, when Carlos is too busy in the tub doing Godknowswhat during his sports game and refuses to pay attention to Gabrielle's new shoes, she complains. "I'll put on those shoes and walk out the door. I'm pretty, and pretty girls are never lonely." The post-nup is ripped in two. Gabrielle wins. As she should.
Other highlights: Susan to her mother: "You tell him to leave or I'll march right in there and tell him your real age." Rex to Bree: "Can you at least wait until dessert before calling our son a sodomite?" Bree's reply? "Your father is into S&M. He makes me beat him with a ridding crop, and I let him. No wonder you're perverted. Look who your parents are." Andrew to the priest: "Let's put it this way. I like vanilla ice cream best. But I do like to eat chocolate every once in a while." And to think I used to hate chocolate ice cream.
 Andrew Van De Kamp If he didn't have a penis, he would've gotten Housewife of the Week tonight!
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