Gabrielle Marquez/Solis/whatever surname she is using this week was shocked when she woke up next to a half-naked Zach Young. She threw him out, shocked and appalled, after he told her they fornicated all over the place the night before and she was just too drunk to remember. Confessing this to Carlos, she said "He said I was amazing, which sounds like me..." So then Gabrielle had Carlos go into the men's restroom to use his Latino machismo with Zach (This sentence probably could be phrased better, yes, but why? ;)) and played peek-a-boo at the urinals to discover that little Zach Young isn't so little and Gabrielle would remember. Outraged, Gabrielle ended the friendship, telling him to become a man. So he proposed. And she lost it. And now that that's quickly written, I can go into the meaty part of tonight's episode as we look
Elsewhere on Wisteria Lane Lynette accidentally placed an order for 50 high chairs so she had to go around getting odd chairs from everywhere else. Scavo's Pizzeria opened. Dashing British Bloke Ian accidentally received Mike's hospital items and saw the engagement ring for Dingbat, I mean Susan. So deciding that since he couldn't even get a civil union in this state and marry a guy, Dashing British Bloke Ian proposed at the pizzeria which gave Zach the idea. Dingbat accepted. Dingbat also overheard Mike saying he sorta caused Deranged Dentist Dude Orson to fall off a roof. And that brings us to the REAL meat of this episode. Deranged Dentist Dude Orson survived the five-story fall from the hospital roof. He remembered how his mother, Gloria, killed Monique with Mike's wrench and started to take out her teeth. He also pushed Mama Deranged Dentist Dude into the French Slut's grave, causing her to break her hip and...walk with a cane. Gloria decided to kill Bree now that Bree knew. Alma escaped from the attic, and trying to catch Danielle's attention, fell off the roof and died. Only on Wisteria Lane can you survive a 5-story fall but die when you fall off a two-story roof. I digress. So Gloria, who had killed her husband and made it look like a suicide years before, decided to do the same to Bree. She put sleeping pills in Bree's soup. And then prepared Bree a bath. Good thing Andrew got home in time. But no, she pushed him down the stairs. (Please tell me ex-consulting producer Charles Pratt has not returned.) But Orson escaped from the hospital and stopped Gloria, dunking her head under water and pushing her to the floor, causing a stroke. He discarded her body next to Alma's, leaving the police to realise that Alma committed suicide while Gloria remained paralyzed but with full mental capacity, living in her jail of her own while Orson and Bree finally took that honeymoon with Marcia Cross on maternity leave. |
