When Susan Mayer wins Housewife of the Week, you know the other Housewives are out of commission. Susan is not desperate; she's pathetic. She's as pathetic as that fugly hat she wore to Dashing British Bloke Ian's Comatose Wife's funeral. I'm talking FUGLY. And making it even fuglier was the fact she wanted to be inconspicuous at the funeral, and she wore THAT. HAT. WITH THAT DRESS. Susan, do us all a favour and go find Gabrielle's gay man and ask him for fashion advice. Enough on the fugly hat though. Susan had had enough of hearing this woman try and get her claws into Dashing British Bloke Ian. After all, Jane has only been dead a few days and Susan's been dating him for MONTHS! So Susan proclaimed her stake in Ian, and the hussy had the nerve to get up and deliver a eulogy and let everyone know that SUSAN was the hussy who had been dating Dashing British Bloke Ian whilst Comatose Wife lay there in a coma. So Susan went down into the Federico room and cried, and Dashing British Bloke said that since neither gay weddings nor civil unions were legal in the States he might as well marry her in a proposal to propose.
Elsewhere on Wisteria Lane Mike underwent hypnopsis to discover he didn't kill Monique; he just had a plumbing job at her house. Monique was eager for a different sort of job. He had to go get a part, and he ended up coming back to find Deranged Dentist Dude Orson cleaning. Deranged Dentist Dude Orson told Bree (not at all obvious that Marcia Cross is on bed rest) everything with a closed door, and Andrew thankfully overheard. After someone who was not-at-all-obvious-at-being-a-stunt-double-for-Marcia-Cross fell off a ladder with a bag full of teeth, no, marbles, Andrew vowed to bring Bad Andrew back if Orson had done anything at all to hurt Bree. Gabrielle met the world's worst flirter who coincidentally was Psycho Teen Zach's lawyer. Psycho Teen then made sure Bad Flirter wasn't around for dessert by telling him he would lose his job if he had dessert, so Bad Flirter told Gabrielle he only dated women under 30, devestating for the 31-year-old Gabrielle. And Edie told Tom that he she should know by all the staring of her ass he did that she didn't eat pizza and that he should hire Austin, so he did. Lynette fired Austin when she caught him smoking pot, making Andrew hope she didn't mind that the floors weren't Bree-Hodge clean and were only Andrew-Van-De-Kamp-Clean. Lynette gave him her look. She later became irate when Tom hired Austin back for the free advertising (on what planet is Austin hot? Seriously, as a gay man, I do not find him at all in the slightest attractive.), but she forgave him when he explained it was for the free advertising and allowed him to berate her in front of her employees, but not so much. And then Fishy Plumber Who I Do Not Like Mike tossed Deranged Dentist Dude off the roof of the hospital. To be continued... |
