Mariah Carey
Oh, c'mon. You knew I'd comment on the commercial for her Good Morning America appearance. Go Mariah! "I'm just desperate to wake you up."
Gabrielle Solis
Our Gabrielle gets it for the second week in a row. When your husband forcibly has you sign your name to a post-nuptial agreement, not everyone has the opportunity to run and sex up a gardner that looks suspiciously like Jesse Metcalfe. Gabrielle's husband, Carlos, also threw a vase that crashed over her head. Gabrielle went through hell tonight, and now she's going to pay a hefty price of letting the gardner sow his seed. (Oh, c'mon. You knew I'd go there.) Gabrielle had the info to send her husband up the creek, but she lost everything. Poor Gabrielle. Next time I'm upset, I hope I get the opportunity to have Jesse Metcalfe, er, John Rowland, comfort me like her. And she did all this without breaking a nail. You don't piss off a Diva like Gabrielle, ever.
Other highlights: Lynette came close with her snappy response to Bree spaking her son, Parker. "Maybe you don't know everything about parenting. Isn't your son in a juvenile detention camp?" Oh no she didn't. Then "If you drop that toothbrush, we're going to pay a visit to Mrs. Van De Kamp, and you know what she'll do." The poker party had to be reminiscent of that nasty photo shoot the actresses went through. Jesse Metcalfe, you had me at standing in the street shirtless mouthing things to Gabrielle. The perfect coming out scene: "Andrew thinks he might be gay." Bree: "What?" Rex: "He thought I'd take it better than you." Bree: "I'll...go wait in the car. Have a nice day." Perfect smile. Susan had the blah story of the week, but Mike Delfino got the quote of the week, something my future husband will most likely say when he meets my mom. "I used to have so many questions about why you are the way you are. They're all answered now."
Next week: Bree's "strange, bizarre reaction to her son possibly being gay" (according to Jesse Metcalfe in Entertainment Weekly); Andrew is plotting something horrible against his mother, "I'll kill you if you ever touch me again like that." "I'll kill you if you're ever with another man." Cut to John Rowland.  |
