| Frozen Moment In Time-April 6, 2004 |
| I listen. Silence. But a mere muffle of hushed thoughts. I see. Fog so clear to the naked eye, grim to the touch. A light breaking through only to show an eternal hell burning in front of me Leaves swirling fast as if to sweep me away. So fast sparks fly and puncture my vulnerable wounds. Winds rapidly change, making old memories float to a hill of unearthed dirt. Sadness fell upon me. Deepening my excruciating pain. Crying softly, I stumble upon my own grief. Looking up, the five-point ball of fire only mocks me with a hopeful but unfulfilling wish. The stars are bigger than I; Threatened, I run. A galaxy of nothingness. All grey but the trees. Strands of golden moss; dark, lustrious green leaves fluttering to their death as they fall from the branches. The light becomes dim, the fog more obsolete. I listen. Silence. But a mere muffle of thoughts in a frozen moment in time. |
| Sarcastic Nature- January 5, 2004 |
| Thank you Life for teaching me how to love. Now I can hurt forever. Thank you Life for guidance up above. No prayers are answered, all I have is pain to endeavor. Thank you Life for teaching me to feel. One day I'll realize this feeling isn't real. Thank you Life for creating problems. I get so frustrated, I can't even solve them. Thank you Life for my so-called friends. All the backstabbing makes my friendships end. Thank you Life for all the empty promises. There's nobody here to keep them with. Thank you Life for teaching me how to trust. Is he in it for me? Or is he in it for lust? Oh and thank you Life for teaching me to cry. I wouldn't know what to do with a dry eye. |
| A Day Too Late- April 28, 2004 |
| Obsessive pounding an organ does often Blinking to somehow soften. Moisture reeks old ways. Assuring its once better days. Seeking shelter in a tin home. Wishing for nothing but to be alone. Bullies of som for, pounding. Information resounding. Deep thunderous booms of nothingness. Storm of shadows nonetheless. Thinking, wondering. Patiently pondering. A brief outlook of time stopping. A whirlwind of demons stalking. Vortex of voices talking. Muffled laughter. Silence thereafter. Nothing more is provoking. Minds just joking. Cruelty awaits. A day too late. |
| Patches- June 8, 2004 |
| Patches are there to cover our holes. When they burst all that's left are black coals. Secrets pour out, people get mad. Saying 'I'm sorry' won't make them glad. Friends avoiding. Sinners loitering. Guilty lies. Heart-breaking cries. Doors are there to hide a deeper past. Knobs break, hinges loosen; wood won't last. The past puts up a fight to beat us down. Pushing it away will only make us drown. Deal breakers. Soul-shakers. Broken ties. Last goodbyes. Friends are there to heal our scars. When they're gone, the soul is like a prisoner behind bars. Breaking out to find freedom. Searching for friends when you don't need them. Risk-taking. Mind aching. Twisted thinking. No longer blinking. Deathly afraid to live life. |
| What Happens- June 8, 2004 |
| What happens to people when they're down? Taking on high waters, only to drown. What happens to lovers when one cheats? Lying low in dark rooms to discover deceit. What happens to souls when they are depressed? Holding boulders overhead and feeling stressed. What happens to friends when they betray? Lying to your face to get you to stay. What happens to animals when they die? Leave them alone. Let sleeping dogs lie. What happens to the sun when it sets? Radiating the earth with the colors it likes best. What happens to the moon when it fades? Afraid of the dark, but it hides in the day. What happens to stars when they burn out? Creating a glitter that skips about. What happens to leaves when they fall? Falling to the grass from a tree so tall. What happens to tears when they are cried? Running down a face until it's almost dried. What happens to silence when noise takes its place? Waiting patiently to ease its way into space. What happens to rain after it pours? Streaking across stained-glass doors. What happens to songs when there's no tune? Screeching it's lungs until it reaches the moon. What happens to mirrors when they reflect? Showing a body only for you to neglect. What happens to smiles when they fade? Showing true colors until memories stray. What happens to children when they grow up? Seeing the world for what it is, it's just too much. What happens to teens when they mature? Living life too fast it's almost a blur. What happens to parents when they've taught all they know? Using their minds to let their kids go. What happens to elders when all their stories have been told? Being almost useless, but never feeling too old. And what happens to life when it ends? Live to live, not to die, or you'll be forgotten. |
| Bitter Summer- June 8, 2004 |
| I've hidden a while from my own fate. I've been to the movies, even went on a date. But I got a call the other day. 'Twas my best friend, so I didn't delay. We talked and laughed for hours on end. Singing songs of old times, our voices started to blend. I thought, then, that our friendship was great. But I thought this only a moment too late. There she goes ignoring me again. Why does she do this? Why can't I win? That was the only incident this June. I was so excited, I couldn't now sleep until noon. For weeks since we've been out of school, we've both been busy, but it's been so cool. I had calls waiting for me at night. At one point I saw a new life in sight. I spoke too soon and the calls--they stopped. I don't know the facts, I'm too shocked. What have I done to deserve this? What happened to my perfect life of bliss? I have friends, but why do I feel I need more? I feel so alone, more alone that ever before. What can I do now that there's nobody there for me? Should I leave my old life and leave it be? I've never been like this for so long. Not knowing what path to walk, never knowing where I belong. I can't remember what being me feels like anymore. Or maybe this is how I've always been--tired and a bore. |
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