What is an assjam drawer?
It is a magical place where only the most special of assjam can be found. To better help you understand, I will let you know how I aquired an assjam drawer in my own home.

One fine summer evening I was playing cards with a friend of mine, when I proceeded to fleece him of every penny he had brought with him, as well as another $64 that I had allowed him credit for.
Being the kind gentleman that I am, I never hassled him about the money he owed, nor even said anything about it because I knew that he knew he owed me, and he knew that I knew that he knew I wouldn't bother him about it, and so being the major cheapass that I now realize... yes you Tim, go fuck yourself... he was never going to pay me back. In his mind he didn't even owe me money because he didn't get anything in return for it. However in my mind he did receive something, a lesson worth far more then $64.

Don't gamble with someone of a far superior skill level for amounts you can't afford when you are a dumbass poor teenager.

Anyway, so I decided to enter his house one day while he was at work and steal his beloved porn collection, with the intent of holding it hostage until the money owed was delivered.

He never did pay up, so I sacraficed magazine after magazine until they were no more. Besides it wasn't even good porn with 12 year old boys from Thailand or anything, just your average 19 year old blonde girl putting dildos in holes I didn't know existed.

So for my own enjoyment, I looked through the magazines for the most crass and disgusting pictures imaginable, cut them out, and hid them in select places around my home for my roommates to find during moments of drunkenness that you least expect.

While searching through the used and sticky paged porn, I found 1 picture in the adds section that would be immortalized in the nastiness of mainstream magazine porn. The assjam ad. It looked something like this, but far more gruesome.
courtesy of dumpstersluts.com

So, when that picture was found hidden in the silverware drawer in the kitchen, it will forever be known as 'The Assjam Drawer'.

This makes for key topics of conversation, as well as icebreakers when the ladies come over. For instance;

"Could you go into the Assjam drawer and get me a spoon please... make sure it isn't dirty."
"Do you guys have any chopsticks?"
"There might be a few in the assjam drawer, that's where we keep that kind of stuff"
or of course
"So this is my house. In there is the kitchen, all the plates are over there above the sink, and next to the refridgerator is the assjam drawer, would you like to stay for dinner?"

Now obviously you realize what has become of this random event, and how much better off all our lives are due to the assjamming that has happened in the past few years. I hope you will all strongly consider putting an assjam drawer or two in your home or place of work.