| What do you think the 3 main problems with dating as we know it today are? 1. Society�s skewed view of marriage. 2. Society�s view of gender roles. 3. The artificial exclusivity of dating. |
| Is there anything wrong with kissing before marriage? �It depends on what kind of kiss. What are you expressing towards this person? You wouldn�t tongue your dad.� |
| How should a person find a spouse? �By not looking. In your relationships� you�re going to be closer to some than others� It�s all hingeant on your primary relationship i.e. your relationship with God, and that your relationship with that person is equally codependent.� |
| Is simply minimizing physical involvement enough? �No. It�s a huge part of it, but it goes beyond that. You can�t force a relationship to be more intimate than it is. You can�t just say �I�m going to trust someone,� and then trust them. There has to be a firm foundation over time and shared conflict.� |
| How do you know your �friend� will marry you? �If you have a balanced relationship, you�ll know.� |
| Why is the friendship commitment okay and not anything more until engagement? �What other kind of commitment is there? We relate to people in 2 ways. Either they�re your brother or sister in Christ, or they�re your spouse, If you start treating your sister or brother in Christ like a spouse, you�re acting in a wrong manner.� |
| Is there a way to date biblically? �It all depends on what �date� is. If we�re talking about the societal form of dating, then no. The basis of society�s norm of dating is you take a relationship that isn�t one of your most intimate relationships and you make it into your most intimate relationship, instead of letting it progress naturally, and that�s bad.� |
| How did you come to these conclusions? �12 girlfriends later, lots of shared experience and bible study, and I just thought about it. It�s not a hard conclusion to come to, if you just think about what the bible says about love and the opposite sex.� |
| Why don�t most Christians come to the same conclusions, even though they have the same Bible and the same Holy Spirit inside them? 1. They don�t read it. 2. They don�t study it. 3. They don�t benefit from the experience of older Christians. |
| What is God�s ideal for singles preparing for marriage? �Walk in the Spirit, so they�ll be conformed in the image of Christ. If your primary relationship with God is progressing, then you�ll be able to have a right relationship with your spouse.� |
| What should people who are dating do if they want to have God�s best for them? �Not date. You have to take the exclusivity out of it. They have to define their foundation of intimacy before the dating started and then let it grow naturally.� |
| So should there be no commitment beyond friendship unless it is permanent? �No, but friendship is a great commitment. When you are the best of friends, there is even more commitment then any other relationship. The only true commitment beyond friendship is marriage, but there is more commitment in friendship than people realize�.� |
| Why is exclusivity wrong? �Because as a Christian� Every girl on this planet who�s a Christian who I�m not married to, I have to relate to them as my sister in Christ. You�re going to find a guy that you�re closer to than anyone else. Then you should marry him. But until you marry him, you should treat them as your brother in Christ.� |
| Josh Bailey Interview 3/28/03 |