Bert And Ernie, Gay Lovers?
Sesame Street has played an important role in our lives.
Where else could the pre-school gay set get a weekly helping of `male
friendship`? The two of them have been entertaining us for nearly 30 years,
helping us learn the alphabet and demonstrating that gay relationships can last
for years, rather than days or saucy moments!
Like any couple they have had problems - Ernie has even spoken out about Bert`s
manic dual personality - but this is all part of being together. They dress the
same, in matching multicoloured polo necks and have even gone so far as having
their hair styled at the same salon! This is a sign of real affection because,
let`s face it, that tufty mop may look glamorous on Ernie but Bert`s high
forehead just cries out for a fringe! They don`t venture out of the house,
preferring each other`s company and doing things together, like tying pieces of
string to their fingers, eating biscuits in bed and generally being a couple.
Okay so they sleep in separate beds and suffer from `gay bed death,` but they
do spice things up with their Rubber Ducky!! Bath times have never been such
fun. I`m waiting for the post watershed director`s cut edition.
The celebrity roommates hit the headlines in the early 90s, when a group of
queer activists began outing celebrities at random and decided it was time that
this high profile media couple were forced into the limelight. Finally there
were asked to confront their true nature. Although sleeping in separate beds
and never claiming any sexuality at all, many gay men wanted to claim TV`s most
famous male couple as their own. Well, with their good looks, who can blame
them!
It doesn`t matter that Steven Whitmore, their original puppeteer, has said,
"They`re puppets. They don`t exist below the waist." As if being gay
is just a case of penis envy. Impotent gay puppets can still be in love!!
Determining the sexual orientation of a puppet with no lower body may seem
irrelevant, but seeing two male muppets living together in not-so harmonic
balance has made for a wonderful pair of humane role models. Long live Bert and
Ernie!
Ernie Fact File
Birthday: January 28
Favourite Song: "Rubber Duckie"
Special Friend: Bert
Quote: "Hey, Bert old buddy? Are you asleep?"
Likes: Playing tricks on Bert and taking baths with a Rubber Duckie!
Dislikes: When Bert won`t play with him.
Horoscope: Like most Aquarians, Ernie seems innocent enough, but is full
of mischief.
Philosophy: Do unto others before they can do unto you.
Hobbies: Ernie loves to sing in the tub and play good-natured jokes on
his buddy-ol`-pal Bert.
Bert Fact File
Birthday: July 26
Favourite Song: "Doin` the Pigeon"
Special Friend: Ernie
Quote: "Er-nie!"
Likes: Pigeons and brass band music
Dislikes: When Ernie wakes him up with silly questions.
Horoscope: Like some Leos, Bert lives in the shadow of other more
glamorous, popular people.
Philosophy: Be patient—or you`ll be a patient.
Hobbies/Obsession: Collecting Figgy Fizz bottle caps, paper clips, and
pink erasers.