Moulin Rouge

With: Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman

Musical, Rated PG-13 for sexual content, 126 minutes

ê1/2

This movie was supposed to be really good. Excellent even. A work of art, as one friend described it. My question is: Since when is graffiti art? I’m dead serious. This move has been done before, and in many better ways.

Based on an old movie, Moulin Rouge tells the tale of two star-crossed lovers: one, a penniless author (McGregor) and the other the “sparkling diamond” (Kidman) or, in layman’s terms, the whore who rakes in the most dough. Christian, the author comes to the Moulin Rouge – the whore house/nightclub – against his father’s will, hoping to find inspiration among the Bohemians. Soon, he meets up with Toulouse, via a narcoleptic Argentine who falls through the roof of his apartment. They discover he has quite a talent for composing lyrics (funny, I never knew stealing the lyrics to “The Sound of Music” counted as composing) and that he believes in the same “morals” as the Bohemians, or “truth, beauty, freedom, and love. Above all love.” Toulouse then decides to take poor naïve Christian to the Moulin Rouge to meet the Sparking Diamond.

Once in the club, Christian discovers the world many try not to discover. Surrounded by a singing, dancing troupe of whores and their carrot topped, male, leader (who – personally – is scarier than Dracula) Christian is speechless by the colors and, well vulgarity. The head honcho dude tells the Sparkling Diamond, whom we have discovered really does have a name: Satine, to “go” with the man Toulouse is waving a scarf at. This is the Duke who will support the place if she sleeps with him. Mistaking Christian for the Duke, she takes him to the “elephant” to seduce him.

They fall in love, but of course the Duke wants her. They are stupid enough to come up with a play that mirrors their own affections, and think that the duke won’t notice. He eventually does, and vows to kill Christian if he comes anywhere NEAR Satine. He will also only support the club if she sleeps with him. Well, as star-crossed love usually turns out, someone is dying. In this case Satine. Of course, any person who has an education through eight grade, would be able to figure out what she has in the first fifteen minutes. And trust me, I didn’t shed a tear.

There were three major contributing factors to my interest in this movie. The first was because it was a musical. The other musical that had come out as a big motion picture was Evita, which I love. Of course, that was a movie version of the Andrew Lloyd Webber play, which has all original music. Among other faults, Moulin Rouge didn’t even have original music. All fifteen or so of the songs were written or originally sung by people like Elton John, the Beetles, and Madonna. As an album itself, the music might have made an interesting collection. Perhaps like those Now! CDs. But in the 1900 setting on the movie, it didn’t fit. No one even tried to fit the music in with the setting, as if they actually wanted us to feel we were watching this through the eyes of someone who was extremely drunk, or even stoned!

The second contributing factor was Nicole Kidman’s presence in the movie. I’m a fan of Kidman, especially in her role in Practical Magic. Maybe I was hoping for another charming performance by her. Or maybe I was hoping that an ER cast member might snake their way into the plot. I was wrong. Her character was extremely vulgar, manipulative, and unremorseful.

Finally, most everyone I’ve spoken to loved it. “It’s a love story as old as time…” “It’s a dazzling spectacular spectacular!” ect. I think you get the idea. But it wasn’t. There were several disturbing scenes that made you dwell on them. The plot was extremely week. It was like someone had tried to turn Romeo and Juliet or The Phantom of the Opera into something for today’s public. Well, whoever came up with that idea should

be drug out into the street and shot. I’m sure Will Shakespeare and Gaston Leroux will have a ball taking turns.

The cinematography was dizzying, spending most of the time resting under the skits of the Moulin Rouge occupants or speeding to center on once character or another. It reminded me of the scenes in CSI where the camera highlights on one aspect of the evidence or another. The characters were one dimensional, with no character development at all. My favorite character was Chocolate, a black man who seemed to help Satine every time she passed out or was in trouble. Yet, they gave this highly intriguing character barely any screen time, and NO lines. I would have liked to see him more developed. It was also extremely vulgar from Satine prostrating herself practically on Christian to The Duke and the head on the Moulin Rouge discussing how Satine felt “like a virgin” with the Duke. It was exceedingly upsetting, and unnaturally haunting.

It’s sad that movies like this one are rated so highly because of the sex. It’s terrible how the public has become so obsessed. The allure of this movie still unknown to me, perhaps someone can explain it to me. My friends have yet to do an adequate job.

BOTTOM LINE: Save the money and rent Evita instead. You’ll get better music, a better plot, and more developed characters. All Moulin Rouge will do will make you turn rouge at the thought that you actually WANTED to see this movie!

Ó 2001 to Sarah Bigelow