Part Sixteen
Note:
Harmony and Luka’s thoughts are in ‘’ and their alter-egos’ are in** as well as
italics.
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‘I can’t sleep. Are you awake?
Maybe we can talk. No. It’s just me. You look so peaceful, so serene. You’re
lucky. The horrors of your life cannot penetrate your silky dreams. I’m not so
fortunate. Even in sleep, the terrors claw into my subconscious. Thus I must
remain in this three-dimensional reality, rather than slipping into the fourth
dimensional Elysia.’
*Gee, you’re desolate.*
‘Ah, look. It’s Edward
Hyde.’
*Very funny. Ha ha, look, I’m
laughing.*
‘Go away.’
*Why? So you can wallow in
your own self pity?*
‘So I can sleep.’
*You said yourself you can’t
sleep.*
‘What do you want?’
*For you to spill your guts to
me.*
‘Considering that you
technically are me, that’s an ironic request.’
*I am irony.*
‘Narcissist.’
*Look, you’re not going to
sleep tonight. Why do you do something constructive?*
‘Because it’s warm here. In
this bed.’
*Wuss.*
‘Fine, what do you suggest?’
*A walk would be nice.*
‘To where?’
*Grant Park.*
‘That’s too far.’
*We could take the El.*
‘Do you have any idea the type
of people who are around this late?’
*Sure.*
‘Fine, we’ll go for a walk.
Let me just get dressed and write a note to Luka.’
*Why would you write a note?*
‘So he doesn’t worry.’
*Of Course.*
The older
woman studied the young woman sitting across from her. She was disheveled, her
dark hair looking like it had only been brushed hurriedly. Her coat was on at
an awkward angle and the left sleeve slid down one shoulder. She seemed
oblivious of what was happening around her. She only gazed out of the window.
Once in a while, she would nod her head or shake it. As if she was talking to
someone. She didn’t look like a whore, or a bum. Maybe she was
schizophrenic.
“It is a bit
late for someone like you to be out, don’t you think?” the woman said to her
companion. She was the only other person on the bus. The young woman looked up,
her green eyes glazed and distant.
“Pardon me?”
he voice wasn’t cold, tired maybe. Pained.
“I was just
wondering if you were lost.”
“Lost?” She
laughed softly at the suggestion, a demonic laugh. “No, I’m not lost. In body,
that is.” Her voice had turned beguiling, dangerous, and evil.
The woman
glanced at her intently. The other passenger was scaring her. “What’s your
name?”
“Harmony.”
It was an
discomfited name for this woman who sounded like the personification of evil.
‘Stop it. You’re scaring me
and her.’
*You don’t want her staring at
us do you?*
‘You don’t want to end up
committed do you?’
*Fine. I’ll stop. Now tell me
what’s on your mind.*
‘When we get to the park.’
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*Luka, she’s not here…*
‘She’s probably in the
bathroom, go away.’
*There’s no light in the
bathroom. Her spot is cold. She’s not here, Luka. I’m telling you. You have to
find her.*
‘She’s downstairs then. She
probably couldn’t sleep.’
*And that doesn’t worry you?*
‘Not at 3:15 in the morning.
I’ll deal with it when I officially get up.’
*I can’t believe you don’t
care about her. I thought you loved her Luka Kovac.*
‘I do.’
*Then get up and find her!*
‘God damnit, you are
persistent.’
*Get up! Get up!*
‘I’m up, happy?’
*Check downstairs.*
‘Why are you so bossy all the
sudden?’
*There are no lights on down
here.*
‘Okay, I’m a little concerned
now.’
*Did she leave anything?*
‘Yeah, here’s a note. It says
she went for a walk and not to worry about her. There see, nothing to worry
about.’
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‘Do you think Luka loves me
anymore?’
*Of course, what would make
you think otherwise?*
‘He told me the entire story
of his family’s death. He loved them so much.’
*I should hope so.*
‘Well, I’m worried that I’m
just a…distraction. That he really doesn’t love me. That he still loves his
wife.’
*He’ll always love his wife.
Just like you’ll always love Chad, Harmony.*
‘I hate it when you treat me
like a five year old.’
*Sorry.*
‘I love him so much, you don’t
understand. He’s practically my soulmate. In fact, he is my soulmate. Oh god, I
love him. I don’t know what I’d do if he left me. I’d probably die of a broken
heart.’
*Heaven forbid.*
‘You don’t think he’ll get
tired of me do you?’
*No. You’re crazy.*
‘Maybe I am. I am talking to
myself.’
*I find this hard to believe.
Last week you were read to marry this man, and now you’re ready to give up on
him totally.*
‘That was before he told me
about what happened in Croatia!’
*Don’t start crying, Harmony.
It would be a shame if those tears froze on your face. I don’t think Luka would
like it.*
‘Luka probably wouldn’t give a
damn.’
*Yes he would! He’s probably
worrying about you right as we speak.*
‘No…’
*Don’t even say it!*
‘Why?!’
*He loves you. I know it.*
‘You didn’t hear what he said.
“If I had left my daughter and taken my wife to a hospital, she wouldn’t be
dead.”’
*So?*
‘If he had done that, I
wouldn’t be living with him. He wouldn’t have me. He’d be married, and I’d be
an old maid.’
*You get scary when you’re
depressed.*
‘He asked me never to leave
him. But what if he leaves me. It would be as bad as if he went and jumped off
of the County roof.’
*He won’t. Remember what he
said when you were shot? “Are you going to watch the one thing that makes my
life worth living suffer?” You are that one thing Harmony. Don’t forget that.*
‘You’re right. Oh god, I love
him. So much.’
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‘I hope she isn’t doing
something stupid.’
*What?*
‘Um, suicide.’
*Harmony wouldn’t do something
like that.*
‘If she got depressed enough.’
*She’s not depressed.*
‘She has the beginnings of
Posttraumatic Stress. Haven’t you noticed?’
*Not really.*
‘I don’t know what I would do
without her. I love her.’
*More than Daniella?*
‘What?’
*It’s a simple yes or no
question. Do you love Harmony more than Daniella?*
‘I-I don’t know.’
*Well, perhaps you should
think about it.*
‘I do.’
*You do?*
‘Yes. When she was in the
hospital, I thought I had lost her. I thought if Harmony had died, my life
would be over. I could never love again.’
*More than Daniella?*
‘God yes. More than I have
loved and ever will love someone.’
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Harmony
walked back into the house, cold and listless. She threw her coat on a nearby
chair, caring little where it landed. Her face was stiff from the tears she had
shed and her eyes burned from her late night expedition. She wanted to curl
up…anywhere. A chair, the couch, her bed. She thought of how nice it might be
to fall asleep and forget her schizo-conversation. She also would have
preferred to not approach Luka, so she decided for the overstuffed chair in the
den. She moved perfunctorily into the den, and curled up in the chair, resting
her head against the back, and hoping, wishing, praying that she could sleep
and wouldn’t be disturbed.
Luka heard
Harmony come in and waited for her to come upstairs. But she never did. Perhaps
he had imagined the door creaking open and the movement downstairs. He
descended to see for sure. He noticed Harmony’s coat carelessly dropped on the
kitchen floor. He searched the entire lower level, until he found her curled up
in the den. Her eyelids were scrunched together, as if she was blocking all
light.
“Hi,”’ he
said softly, expecting her to be asleep.
“Hi,” she
responded, not opening her eyes.
“I missed
you,” he said. “Are you okay?”
“Fine.”
“You know,
you can sleep upstairs.”
“I know.
It’s my house.”
“I just
wanted to say, I’m sorry if I disturbed you.”
“You
didn’t,” Harmony said, getting up.
“Liar.”
“What, do
you want me to spill my guts?”
“If you
want.”
Harmony
sighed, turning over her thoughts, organizing them into complete packages. “I
was afraid you didn’t love me,” she admitted.
“Oh,
Harmony. I love you so much,” Luka whispered. “More than anything.”
“Me too,”
Harmony said softly. Luka took her face in his hands and kissed her
passionately. He embraced her. Harmony rested her head against his shoulder.
“Don’t ever leave me,” she whispered, parroting the words he had spoken only
hours ago.
“I won’t.
God help me, I won’t.”