Part Thirteen

 

Valentine’s Day:

 

Harmony opened the door, to reveal Carter. She was taken slightly aback. “Carter. Come in. Are you off today?”

 

Carter shook his head. “No. My shift hasn’t started yet.”

 

“Oh.” Harmony led him into the living room. “Do you want something to drink?” 

 

“Coffee, if you have it.”

 

“Of course. How could I function if we didn’t? I’ll be right back.” She smiled and left. The kitchen was across the hall. She returned in a few moments with the coffee. “So, what brings you by?”

 

“Just checking on you. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come by when you were in the hospital.”

 

Harmony just smiled. “That’s okay,” she assured him.

 

“Are you and Luka doing anything for Valentine’s Day?”

 

“We’re going to try to go to dinner, that is if we can get an okay from Elizabeth. How about you?”

 

“I don’t have anyone to do something with.”

 

Harmony rolled her eyes. “Oh come off it. You could ask Abby to do something. Or Kathryn. She was over here the other day and that’s all she would talk about. You. John this, and John that. She told me the funniest story about when you were young…”

 

“Oh my god, she told you the piranha story!?!”

 

Harmony giggled. “Yup. In all its glorious detail!”

 

Carter held his head in his hands. “I can not believe she told you that.”

 

“Me either, come to think of it,” Harmony commented. “No, but I’m serious. You should take her out tonight. I know she’d appreciate it.”

 

“I’m not sure if I want to go out today.”

 

“Oh god, does this have to do with your attack?” Harmony asked.

 

“Are you wearing Luka’s sweater?” John asked.

 

Harmony looked down at her shirt, which was actually Luka’s sweater. “Yeah, so?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“You can’t run from your past forever.”

 

“I’m not running.”

 

“You are too. You could have brought up Luka’s sweater any time, but you chose when I asked you about your attack.”

 

“I have something to tell you,” John said.

 

Harmony just looked at him with a disappointed look on her face. 

 

“The night of your attack…”

 

“What?”

 

“Well, I sorta took two of my old painkillers…”

 

“Are you nuts?!” Harmony screamed.

 

“I didn’t really think about it.”

 

“Obviously. God, you screwed your entire summer and almost your career at a drug rehab. Do you really want to go back there?”

 

“No…I just, I was tired, but I was thinking about Lucy, and well, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep.”

 

“Have you told Kerry?”

 

“No.”

 

“John, you have to. You can’t keep something like this a secret forever,” Harmony said, her voice softening.

 

Carter looked at her. This was the first time she had ever called him “John.”

 

“Are you going to tell her?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Harmony refrained from saying anything, but longed to tell him what she thought. “Today must be tough for you,” she said.

 

“Yeah. I’m still guilty, I guess.”

 

“Would you have married her?”

 

“What?”

 

“It’s a simple yes or no question. If Lucy had survived, would you have married her?”

 

“I don’t know. Why does it matter?”

 

“Well, you have a right to feel bad. Sure, I’ll give you that one. But how can you think it’s your fault?”

 

“I left her in there. Alone.”

 

“You didn’t know she was in danger. That Paul was dangerous. You’re as guilty as Luka, or Mark, or Kerry, or myself. It isn’t your fault. We all make mistakes.”

 

“You don’t understand…”

 

“I do. I do. There have been many things I’ve done in my life that I thought I could have avoided, if I just thought. I couldn’t have.” Harmony sighed. “I used to have a fifteenth brother, one year younger than I. He died of a drug overdose at the age of sixteen. I don’t want to see that happen again.” She shrugged. “You control your life. Just remember that it’s very fragile. You saw Lucy die. I don’t want to see you die.”

 

Carter studied Harmony. “Thanks. I’ve got to go. See you later.”

 

Harmony nodded. “Good-bye. And good-luck.” 

 

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Luka came home to find Harmony on the couch, reading. Soft jazz music was playing in the background. “Hey,” he said.

 

Harmony looked up. “Hi. How are you? How’d the shift go?”

 

“Fine, I guess. Is that my sweater?”

 

Harmony nodded mischievously. “Yup.”

 

“Why are you wearing my sweater?”

 

“’Cause this house is cold,” Harmony said simply.

 

“You could turn up the thermostat,” Luka pointed out.

 

“I’m a lazy bum.”

 

“Yeah, I agree with that!”

 

“Hey!” Harmony protested. Luka laughed to himself and began to leave the room. Harmony grinned and threw a pillow at him. It hit him squarely on the back of the neck and he turned around.

 

“What was that for?”

 

“Calling me a lazy bum.”

 

“I didn’t call you one. I simply agreed with you.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“I just want my sweater back.”

 

Harmony rolled her eyes. “You’re not even wearing it. You’re wearing that horrid bright blue shirt that you know I hate.”

 

“Why? What’s wrong with it?”

 

“I don’t know. I just don’t like it.”

 

“You are so strange,” Luka observed.

 

Harmony glared at him and threw another pillow.

 

“You have a good aim for someone who should be sick.”

 

“Oh really. Well, you should see me when I’m well.”

 

Luka laughed and threw one of the pillows at Harmony. Soon, they were involved in an all out pillow war.

 

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A little while later, after both Luka and Harmony had gotten tired of acting like three-year-olds and Luka had managed to get Harmony to relinquish his sweater, they went out to dinner.

 

“You look great,” Luka said as they sat down.

 

“I was about to say the same thing to you,” Harmony said. “I’m glad you made this reservation. This place is packed,” she commented, glancing around.

 

Luka nodded. “I guess we aren’t doing anything new.”

 

“Guess who came over today.”

 

“I haven’t a clue,” Luka admitted.

 

“Carter.”

 

“What did he have to say?”

 

Harmony thought for a moment. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell him about the narcotics. “He just wanted to say hi on his way to County.”

 

“Good. I was worried when he didn’t stop by while you were in the hospital.”

 

Harmony raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

 

“Well, you two are good friends. It was just weird.”

 

Harmony shrugged. “I suppose so.”

 

A waitress came and they ordered.

 

“I was thinking,” Harmony began. “Do you think we’ll ever break up?”

 

“Do you want to?” Luka asked suspiciously.

 

Harmony laughed. “No. I was just thinking. Think we’ll ever get married? Or will we be one of those couples who never get married?”

 

Luka reflected for a moment. “I don’t know.” He said finally. “We’ll have to wait and see.”

 

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“That was one of the best nights I have had in a long time,” Harmony said.

 

“I agree,” Luka said. He noticed that Harmony was looking a little…ragged? He tried to ignore the biting feeling as they go ready for bed. But when it didn’t dissipate, he broached the subject. “Are you feeling okay?” he asked, as she climbed into bed. 

 

Harmony sighed, snuggling up next to Luka. “I’m tired,” she admitted. “Not just in body anymore. Soul too. I’m tired of skulking around here all day. Tired of the pain. Tired of taking those damn little blue pills. Tired of waiting seven hours to take two more of those damn little pills. Tired of pretending those damn little pills work. Tired of people coming to visit me and give me their pity. Tired of having to deal with other people’s problems.”

 

“Whose problems?” Luka asked suddenly, surprising Harmony.

 

“Remember when I told you that Carter came by today? Well, he didn’t come over just to check on me. He told me he popped some of his old painkillers the night of the accident.”

 

“I wish you wouldn’t call it an accident. It really wasn’t,” Luka commented.

 

“Whatever. What am I going to do? I’m going back to work on Monday, and I don’t think I’m going to be able to face him. Or Kerry,” she added.

 

“He trusted you. You have to use your best judgment,” Luka said.

 

“I know. I know. I just don’t know what my best judgment IS.” Harmony looked up at Luka. “I mean; Carter is one of my closest friends at County. I don’t want to damage that, but I care about him too.” Luka glanced down at her. “In a friendship type way. I don’t want him slipping into a relapse. But if I tell Kerry, than she might fire him, but if I don’t tell her she will fire him and maybe me too. But if I tell Kerry than he’ll hate me for the rest of my life. And I keep beating around this bush. I’m so lost, I have no idea what I’m doing.” She heaved a large sigh. “Whoever said life was easy ought to be drug out into the street and shot.”

 

Luka laughed. “You’re right,” he said softly, running his fingers through her hair.

 

Harmony smiled to herself, thinking how ‘right’ this felt. She listened to the soft sound of Luka’s heartbeat and relaxed, as its rhythm began to lull her to sleep.

 

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Luka whispered.