Author’s Notes: Wow, I have a terrible tendency to start fics and never finish them. Anyway, I’m in the midst of procrastinating exams and found a series of RK ficcies I’ve started, but never quite found the motivation to finish. So pending on email from people who read it, I’ll be working on them again! *A sound of hoorah is heard from Tenshi’s two fans*
This fic is AU, and takes place probably around the same time as the original RK storyline. Having said that, I’m not going to write in the Bakumatsu nor the events in the Meiji era (too lazy to do the research) although I’ll make some vague reference to them. It will feature a new angle on Battousai, a new background for the Kenshin-gumi, and sorry to Megumi and Tomoe fans. They won’t be appearing. Having said that, all I wanted to do was write a simple story and hopefully tell it well. Let me know if you enjoy it ^_^
**********
In his mind, the blood continued dripping steadily, from the blade of his katana to the unfeeling ground below. In his mind, wide eyes stared at him in disbelief. In his mind, no shrieks of terror resounded. But yet the images continued to taunt him. The thick sticky liquid that clung to his hand, the familiar, nauseating scent of blood, the rush of adrenaline that raced through his body as he performed the motions required to garner him that kill. This time, all there was left was an unbelievable sense of emptiness and heavy guilt. Those eyes continued looking at him, and all around him, cries of grief went by unheard. All he was aware of was this roaring in his head and he allowed himself to be pushed aside by a grief-stricken young woman.
“You killed him you bastard!!!!” she screamed at him, clutching the smaller body against her. “Why? He was innocent!!”
No excuses rose. There was nothing to be said for what he had done. He carefully sheathed the sword, and stared at the man who still looked upon him with empty eyes. Swallowing down the intrusive emotions that threatened to take him from his job, he assessed the situation. With quick, lethal grace, he leapt into the air. His katana came out in a flash of silver, and the spray of blood scattered through the air like blossoms. As he landed, he was all too aware of the sound of his victim’s body thudding to his knees before crumbling to the ground.
The woman continued screaming her grief and her rage at him. “Wasn’t one enough for you?? Must you take everyone around you?? WHY??!?” Her fists pounded against his chest, and it didn’t register with him. He rose up abruptly. She stopped her motions abruptly and just stared at him.
“Murderer,” she hissed at him, tears streaming down her too pale face. “You’ve taken away my husband and my child. Now, you will have all our blood on your hands.” Before he could even blink an eye, she had roughly grabbed at his hand with the katana and threw herself against it.
The gurgled sound that came from her throat was one he would remember for the rest of his life. “I damn you. I damn you for the lives you have taken,” she whispered before closing her eyes in what seemed like bliss. “Matte kudasai, anata…”
His hand trembled briefly before pulling out the katana. She collapsed to the ground, her blood spilling to the ground below. But unlike before, the earth did not absorb. “Even the ground has had enough of my bloodshed,” he murmured.
As he turned around to walk away, the roaring in his brain drowned out everything else. After that, he remembered nothing.
**********
Kamiya Kaoru smiled to herself. Today was going to be a good day. She could feel it in her bones. She got up and stretched, feeling her muscles groan in appreciation.
“Well look at how pretty everything is! It’s worth the effort,” Kaoru said, staring at her little house in amazement. To the side, two trees swayed as if in agreement. Her expression softened and she walked towards it.
“What do you think, otou-san? Okaa-san? Did I do all right?”
When her parents had passed away last year, she had been devastated initially. But then, a dream had somehow given her the strength to go on. Her parents would not have wanted her to grieve and fall apart like that. She was Kamiya Kaoru afterall. They had left her a modest inheritance and a little rundown house a few hours from where they were. Leaving the town that she had grown up in, she had sold the house and wanted a fresh new start. She had a feeling that they would approve of her actions. She laughed to herself, remembering her initial reactions to just how bad the house had looked. Leaky roof, door that lay on the ground, it had come complete with vagrants. She had walked in and smelled the stale air within. She remembered her shrieks of terror when she had indeed found a drunken lout within her house.
Grabbing a wooden pole, she had confronted the intruder. She had smacked him none too gently. One dark brown eye had opened to glare at her.
“What do you want?” he had demanded. His voice had sounded rusty, gruff and low.
She had gulped down her fear and gave him the dirtiest look she could muster. “Look here. This is MY house, and I think you should leave!”
Hand upon her hips, Kaoru had swung the pole in the direction of his head, little realizing that it would indeed strike. She shrieked as the pole connected with the poor vagrant’s head and gaped at him when it had broken into pieces.
A low rumble of laughter sounded and he had dragged himself to his feet. Her eyes widened as she realized just how tall and intimidating this vagrant was. She took a step back hesitantly.
“Cho-chotto matte!!” she had yelled out, and cringed inwardly at the telltale tremor in her voice. The vagrant smiled wickedly and took a step closer.
“Little missies shouldn’t be playing with big boys,” he drawled out.
Kaoru gulped once again, fear rising terribly within her. “Don’t come near me,” she warned as she glanced around desperately. She needed to find a weapon, anything that would keep this man away from her.
Another door swung open without warning and she mumbled a curse under her breath.
The vagrant’s eyes widened at her words. “I didn’t think little missies knew words as bad as that.”
Sunlight spilled into the room as a heavy jar came crashing on the man’s head. He crumpled to the ground, and rubbed at his sore temple, glaring at the intruder.
“You leave her alone, tori-atama!!”
“Urusei, Yahiko-CHAN!!!” he had yelled out.
Then for the first time in a long time, Kaoru had laughed. The merry sound had startled both men, and their jaws fell in unison. The only words that came out of their mouths were “Kirei…”
“Oi, Jou-chan!!” Hands shook her shoulder gently, and she snapped out of her thoughts. Bestowing a brilliant smile upon the young man beside her, she thwacked him on the head. “Ouch!! What the hell was that for?” he glared at her angrily.
She blinked innocently at him. “For bringing home unwanted ladies and keeping the rest of us up all night with the noises that came from your room,” she responded sweetly.
A ruddy flush coated his cheeks. “I didn’t think properly brought up young ladies were supposed to know things like that.”
Kaoru poked his chest and glared at him. “I’m not stupid you know. Tell me you came home with the tofu you were supposed to go buy.”
He flashed her his best smile, and ran his fingers through his hair sheepishly. “Ano saa, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the market…”
“Tori-atama no baka!!!” she screeched at him, pulling back her fist, ready to punch him.
“Oi, busu. I got the tofu you wanted.”
A young boy entered the yard and carried the tofu bucket carefully.
Kaoru paused. “If you weren’t carrying that tofu, I’d hit you! I’m glad to see that ONE of you can be relied on. Bring it to the kitchen, ne Yahiko-chan?”
Yahiko seethed and nearly stomped over, but was thwarted by the very bucket that had saved him from a violent pounding. “Don’t burn the tofu this time, busu,” he muttered.
She turned around and glared at the two of them. “Mou, I don’t know why I put up with the two of you,” she muttered before stomping off huffily.
“Is it just me or has Jou-chan gotten prettier?” Sanosuke remarked thoughtfully.
Yahiko headed for the kitchen and mumbled, “Yeah. Tell her I said that and you die though, tori-atama.”
Grinning, he somehow managed to speak while chewing on the fishbone that appeared out of nowhere. “Just between us men, Yahiko-CHAN.”
***********
Battered and bruised, he crawled aimlessly. Everything he had believed so far had all been a bunch of lies. The afternoon’s events had proven it. He had remembered their cruel laughter as he had tried to leave the faction.
“Don’t you understand?? NOBODY leaves us!!” the leader had sneered as the rest of the members descended upon him. He had been too shocked to react and he allowed their blades to rain upon his body. This way, the pain could numb the ache and guilt that now nestled within. The pain could drown out the roaring that had seemed to overtake everything else.
He felt lightheaded as he continued his motions. The loss of blood would kill him soon enough. He finally came up to a spot nestled between two cherry blossom trees and leaned against it.
“Soon enough… I just need to rest,” he thought wearily.
He closed his eyes before surrendering to the urge to pass out. The blood continued dripping steadily onto the ground, unabsorbed by the earth. And above him, the trees bowed under the strength of the gentle breeze.
**********
After the fiasco that was lunch, Kaoru settled down in her room, relishing in the peace and quiet. As much as she would miss the two vagrants that had somehow become her new family, she appreciated the time alone. She smiled to herself, remembering their shrieks of disgust at the burnt tofu she had produced. She remembered the hurt look she had managed to summon, looking so pitiful that the boys hadn’t had the heart to insult her by not eating. And they had eaten every charred piece with the most pained smile she had ever seen upon their faces.
Some day, she would tell them the truth. Some day, she would tell them she could really cook.
Kaoru giggled and rose to her feet. Stepping to the yard, she absorbed the sunshine that fell upon her and took a deep breath. The air smelled clean, and the skies were brilliantly blue. She felt saddened for a moment, knowing that the boys would not be here to appreciate it with her. They would be gone for a week, accompanying Tae-san on a trip to Osaka. She had nearly gotten into fist fights with them, and she had learned from the best. Finally, after much persuasion and puppy dog expressions, they had agreed to go.
For the first time in ages, she would get the quiet that she had always wanted. But now that she had it, she wasn’t too sure what to do with it. Since she had moved here, she had always had Sanosuke and Yahiko with her. They had kept the loneliness at bay. With them gone now though, she didn’t know how she was going to stop the sadness from reappearing.
She kept reminding herself, “It’s only temporary. Be strong, Kaoru. You are a Kamiya afterall. Are you not your parents’ daughter?”
Kaoru laughed softly. She wasn’t going to resort to talking to herself as a form of keeping herself occupied. “Imagine what the boys would think if they came back and saw this…”
Kami-sama. She missed them so much already. Yahiko was like the little brother she never had. He argued and fought with her all the time, and yet underneath it all, she knew that he loved her. The knowledge filled her with warmth, and if anything happened, Yahiko was always the first to protect her like the very first time they had met.
Sanosuke on the other hand was a loose cannon. She wasn’t quite sure how things stood with him. Sometimes, she would catch him looking at her in a way that wasn’t entirely platonic. Though it didn’t scare her, Kaoru didn’t know if she liked him in that way. When she thought of love, she imagined the relationship that her mother and father had.
“Some day, I want a love like that,” she whispered to no one in particular. Her arms wrapped around her waist, she began walking out of the yard.
She dreamed of a man who could make her heart pound faster just by thinking of him. She dreamed of a man whose smile would make the world come to a stop. She dreamed of a man who would take her from this loneliness that ate at her.
Kaoru shook her head. It wasn’t quite like that. She didn’t need a man to rescue her. She just wanted the love that had kept her parents going even in death. With a huge sigh, she found herself standing near the trees that she loved so much. She had buried her parents’ ashes under each one in memory, and somehow each time their branches swayed, it felt as if they were still around.
She blinked, catching sight of an area filled with red. Kaoru walked over curiously, for she had never seen cherry blossoms of that particular shade. It wasn’t until she got closer that she realized it wasn’t the blossoms at all.