Chapter 19: When Will The Madness Stop
Chapter 19: When Will The Madness Stop
chapter 19
Raul…
She closed her eyes tightly, trying to stop the barrage of thoughts that were inevitable, but still painful.
She hadn’t thought of him in so long, and yet, it still hurt like the day it had happened. With a sharp shake of her head she forced herself to be in the moment. She had to be in the moment, otherwise everything she was doing and sacrificing would be for naught.
But it didn’t keep that little voice in the back of her head from niggling, ‘You should have know better. You both should have known better than to expect Luis to accept you with open arms.’
“Shut up,” she hissed through clenched teeth. “I can’t change it now. I can’t.”
’Five minutes! Do you realize, that if you had come FIVE MINUTES earlier that you would have died with him?
Again, she shook her head sharply, this time putting her hands over her ears and bowing her head into her lap as tears burned her eyelids
She knew that. It was hearing it that hurt the most.
If she had been on time, all of FIVE MINUTES earlier, she would have been in that limo with Raul and Cameron… but it hadn’t worked out that way.
No, Cole had delayed her. He had messed with destiny. It was as much his fault as it was Luis’. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to totally blame Cole.
But Luis...
Yes, Luis, they blamed.
After all, all they had wanted to do was get clean.
Was that so wrong?
For once in their pathetic lives they had wanted to get OFF the drugs and be a part of polite society. And they had wanted to do it together. It had been Raul that had gone to beg Luis for help, Cameron had gone with him for moral support, and she would have gone too, but she and Luis had never been on the best of terms and… and that was that.
She would never know the answer to their request. Because on her way to meet Raul and Cameron after their meeting, Cole had stopped her and caused her to be late. So when she arrived at the meeting place, just as she was about to run across the street… the car was blown up.
And with the car, the one person that had loved her inside out, and her favorite Uncle, the only living relative that would still claim her.
It was so unfair.
Stealing her nerves she sat back up and gazed down upon Coni.
“I’m sorry kid,” she whispered, adjusting the covers as he shifted in his sleep. “You and Justice,” she rolled her eyes, “or Nomad and Maverick, whatever your names are… you two are the ones that really got the shaft in all of this.” She lamented, as she sat back and tried to relax a little.
“If it hadn’t been for… Raul and Uncle Cam’ dieing…” she sighed heavily again, “I never ever would have agreed to take part in this sick little scheme of his.” She shook her head sadly.
After a few minutes of watching him she started to fidget, a reminder that it had been two days since her last hit. She nervously chewed on her bottom lip, as she was all to aware that she had all of the paraphernalia she needed to get high, but she was unsure if she wanted to in front of the kid. (weird wording, I know!!)
After all, she wanted to traumatize him, not frighten the **** out of him. That and she needed him to rely on her a little, and being high didn’t exactly help that cause.
‘Okay Petra, you can do this. Just think of something to do to keep yourself occupied.’
‘Like… ‘
‘Oh… I don‘t know… find the kid something suitable to wear…’
‘Good point self, I can be productive.’
With that in mind she got up and did something that she thought she’d never have the balls to do. She opened up her closet, pulled out the trunk she had stashed way in the back that was filled with Raul’s clothing -- to ensure that Cole couldn’t burn them like he had done to Luis-- and started going through his them, picking out what would be okay for Coni to wear. All while keeping a close eye on Coni to make sure that he didn’t wake up.
******
All was quiet as they pulled up in front of AJ’s apartment complex.
“So…”
“Don’t worry,” Gia assured him. “Nothing you said will ever reach Azora’s ear.”
He smiled. “Thanks.” He paused. “I just have to figure out when and how to tell her about Zander…” He trailed off glancing over his shoulder at AJ and Azora. He’d give anything to freeze frame this moment for the next 20 years or so, if it meant that she was at rest and no nightmares or fears or anxieties would ever eat at her ever again.
“Yeah… about that,” Gia winced. “She’s not going to like us very much is she?”
He winced too. “Yeah, she’s going to be pissed, but she’ll understand… eventually.”
Gia let out a slow breath, “Okay, so let’s get this started.” She said with a sad smile as she turned around and shook AJ’s knee.
“Wakey, wakey AJ.” She whispered in a sing song voice. His head lolled from side to side and he swiped at her hand as though it were a fly. “AJ, wake up.” She said a little louder, shaking him a little harder.
“Huh…” he snored causing himself to wake up. “Uh…wait… oh…” His eyes were dilated, adjusting to the sudden brightness of his surroundings as it finally dawned on him that they were at his place. “How long have I been out?” He asked, sleepily wiping his eyes, yawning and then wiping his mouth.
“Not too long, just long enough.” Eduardo assured him quietly.
AJ stretched, and carefully dislodged himself from Azora. He moved closer to the door and looked out the window at the building.
Their building.
He let out a heavy sigh. “Oh.” He whispered sadly.
“If you’re not ready…”
“No, no, I… it’s just…” he cleared his throat. “I just want to get back to Michael as quickly as humanly possible.”
They both nodded.
“C’mon, we’ll only be in there long enough for you to shave and get a few things for yourself and Carly.” Gia assured him.
“And shoes…” he added absently, as he gazed down at the shoes that were wearing his feet and not the shoes he was wearing, the shoes were most definitely wearing him.
“And shoes.” She agreed with a small laugh.
After he got out of the backseat, he closed the door and assisted Gia out of the front seat.
Before they went inside AJ peaked his head into the car once more. “Um… Eduardo. Thanks… for… you know… not killing me back there and everything.”
Eduardo chuckled. “Think nothing of it man.” He shrugged.
AJ shook his head. “No, really, you’re being really cool about everything. I don’t know if it’s because of…” he trailed off, his eyes clouding over.
“Look man,” Eduardo sighed. “You mean a lot to Azora, otherwise you might have gotten it back there. But she likes you, you’re a good worker and I kinda don’t exactly hate yer guts or nothin’. So it’s cool.” He paused, swinging a glance from Azora to Gia, who stood nearby but not close enough to hear, and then he leaned across the passenger seat. “But I’m warning you now, if you ever hurt her…” his eyes flashed dangerously, he lowered his voice. “So help me God, you’ll wish that I had killed you when I had the chance.” He growled, sounding as serious as a heart attack. “It’s nothing against you, man. I just refuse to see her in pain.” He warned.
AJ gulped, but nodded understandingly. “Gotcha,” before closing the door and walking over to Gia.
“Ready?” She asked.
“Huh?” He asked distractedly. “Oh, yeah, as ready as I’ll ever be.” He was quiet until they were about to enter the building, there he opened the door, turned to Gia to let her in first and offhandedly asked. “Hey, have you ever gotten the feeling that in a past like Eduardo was a mercenary?”
She did a double take. “WHAT?!”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“No, no, it…” she couldn’t help but chuckle. “I… we… me and… I mean…” She took a moment to composed herself before explaining. “My husband and I went to a doctor, but it was under not the best of circumstances.” She put her head in her hands and sighed heavily. “I don’t know if you’ll understand. It’s so complicated and… and…”
“Try me.” Dr. Meadows reassuringly put her hand over her knee.
Brenda looked skeptical. “I don’t know…”
“I give you my word, nothing you say will ever leave this room.”
She chewed on her bottom lip as she considered the offer. It would be nice to tell someone that wasn’t a psychologist, someone that wouldn’t blab to the press. “Well, okay, but only the important parts.”
The doctor pulled up a chair and got comfortable.
“Okay, so, you probably heard about my ‘alleged death’.” The older woman nodded. “Well, what really happened is that my mother died in the crash and I was pulled from the water by a very wealthy, very powerful controlling pervert.” She said in such a matter-o-fact was that the doctor couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “He…” her voice quivered with emotion. “He believed that because he saved my life,” a tear slipped down her cheek as she whispered, “that he owned me.”
She looked at her hands as she nervously fiddled with the hospital gowns edge. “He was, a little eccentric, well, a lot eccentric, and so were his employee’s. He was also very sick, if you know what I mean.” She looked up and saw the doctor nodding.
“See, this is hard part because, it’s, you know, so personal.” She whispered.
“It’s okay if you skip something that hurts you know.” The doctor reassured her.
Brenda considered her offer, but knew she had to do it. If not for herself, then for her mental health she had to say it out loud. “No, I’m okay. Really.”
“Okay, but feel free to leave anything out.”
“But it might have affect my baby.” She rubbed her belly.
“If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.” She took a deep breath. “He and a few men he employed found me to be a suitable… I think the term they used was ‘breeding mare’.”
“Oh.”
Brenda winced. “Yeah. So they ended up giving me a combination of strong fertility and what they had told me were anti-psychotics, but were actually a fertility drug, a sedative, a muscle relaxer, and another drug that they had created that was like ecstasy but kept me confused, easily manipulated and made me fall easily suggestion, to keep me ’in line’. “ She looked up to gage her reaction.
The good doctor smiled sadly and squeezed her knee reassuringly.
She let out a heavy sigh of relief before continuing.
“They liked to take… um… take turns with me.” She whispered, sniffling back tears. “They also enjoyed leaving me black and blue.” She added, sounding almost ironic. “It was like a game to them. They liked to see who could do the most damage, leave the biggest bruises, make me scream the loudest, what is the sickest thing you can get her to do for food, where’s the oddest place you’ve *****ed her-- pardon my French. Who could degrade me the most. Who could ***** me the longest. Who could make me cry the quickest.” Her voice cracked, her eyes were long past clouded over.
She shook her head sharply, bringing herself back to the present.
“It was all a big game.” She looked Dr. Meadows dead in the eye, her eyes reflecting the emptiness of those years. “And the grand prize was an heir for their name via my womb.” Slowly both women’s eyes drifted towards her swollen belly as she rubbed it to keep the baby from feeling her own anxiety.
“And after that.” She said, her voice flat and emotionally void. “It was going to be a free for all.”
Dr. Meadows winced.
“My body, free, for all.” She deadpanned.
Dr. Meadows was sickened beyond belief. Those weren’t men, they were brutes, barbarians, to say the least. She covered Brenda’s hand with her own, causing her hand to stop it’s mindless circular motion and bringing Brenda out of her painful past and into the present.
“Is that how you met Mr. Alcazar? Was he the winner?” She asked softly. Because if he was the winner then he was going to be in considerable pain by the time she got down with him.
She may have looked like a nearsighted old codger, but that didn’t mean she moved like a nearsighted old codger.
Brenda wiped her nose with the back of her hand and shook her head to the emphatic negative. “No, no,” she answered quickly. “No, Luis is nothing like those... Those things that hurt me.”
The good doctor relaxed a considerable amount, as she had been ready to pounce on the man had he done her harm. “Good, I’d hate to have to hurt such a fine specimen, but when it comes to my patience,” she squeezed her hand. “Well, someone’s got to protect the mommies of the world.”
Brenda smiled at her, laughing heartily for the first time in ages. “Thank you, but hurting Luis really isn’t necessary. He’s…” her eyes began to sparkle like emeralds in the moon light. “He’s part of the reason I survived.”
“Oh, really, how so?” She asked curious, but afraid to overstep.
Brenda looked around the room and then leaned in close, so that only she could hear. “One of the main men that liked to hurt me so badly… one of the men that was the most desperate for me to sire him an heir was… ” she gulped. “He was Luis’ twin brother.”
Dr. Meadows sat back as though stunned. “Oh dear.” Was all she could manage to get out as her hand rose to cover her mouth.
She stood up abruptly. “Do you need a glass of water. I think I need a glass of water.” She rambled.
Brenda just sat there watching her, trying to gage her reaction as she walked across the room, poured two paper cups full of water and came back.
As she wordlessly handed Brenda the water she couldn’t help but ask. “Dr. Meadows, are you okay?”
She blinked suddenly, put down her untouched water and folded her hands neatly in her lap. “I’m…I’m just trying to digest this all.”
Brenda smiled sheepishly. “I know this sounds farfetched--”
“Oh no, no, that’s not the problem.” Dr. Meadows reassured her. “That’s not what I’m talking about. I believe everything you are saying, you tell the story so vividly… it’s just that… I… I just don’t understand one aspect of it.” She paused. “Why didn’t you ever see a doctor?”
“Oh,” she breathed, a bit relieved.
“Yes.”
She couldn’t help but chuckle. “It’s farfetched--”
“I’ll take it in stride.” She assured her raven haired patient.
“Thank you.”
“No problem, and don’t worry about me blabbing. I can honestly say that there isn’t a person I know that would believe what I said that wouldn’t nod, pat my hand, and send me to Ferncliff soon there after.”
Brenda chuckled again, she liked this doctor, she wasn’t near as scary as Cole.
“Well, Luis was there for a while and as such I was his ‘toy’.”
The doctor paled.
“Oh, I left that out didn’t I? Sorry.” She winced.
“It’s okay, go on.”
“Okay, about 5 or 6 months ago I was doing my daily pregnancy test.” The doctors eyes widened, Brenda could only shrug. “And I found out that I was pregnant. But I had only been with Luis and his twin brother that month.”
“And the brothers employer?”
Brenda looked away. “Dead,” she whispered. “But we didn’t know it until days later.”
“Do I really want to know who did it?”
“His brother?” She asked. “Yeah, he had lost his mind by then.”
“Ya think?” She quipped dryly, quirking an eye brow, in an attempt to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, well that all led up to Luis devising a plan to marry me, and whisk me off in a plane.” she shook her head sadly. “It almost worked too.”
“Almost?”
“Yeah, not really though, well, not in the way it was suppose too.”
“Don’t leave me hanging, girlfriend.”
She smiled warmly as she continued. “We were in the midst of getting married on the tarmac in front of plane that was going to take us to freedom when the brother showed up with a gun. A big gun.”
Dr. Meadows gasped sharply.
“Luckily he was wearing a Kevlar vest, unluckily it was a close range and did damage any way.” She started to rub her belly absently as she spoke. “He was planning on ‘taking’ me in front of Luis as he died and in front of the priest, who was too shocked to move.”
“But Luis had given me a small pistol before hand too use only in an extreme emergencies.”
“I hope you used it!”
“You bet it did!!” She then added. “Just not very well.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Luis had agreed with Jax that reinforcements were in deed needed for their reconosince mission to be a success. And Jax had hesitantly agreed that sing one of his many yachts would be the only safe way to get Morgan’s wife to the states without her going into premature labor. So Jax had left to find Alexis.
Why?
Because he knew that he didn’t have an ice cubes chance in hell of talking not just one but TWO Spencer’s into helping them.
But Alexis…
Alexis was to Lucky and Lucky as Achilles Heel was to Achilles. That and she was pregnant, like Morgan’s wife. And who -- in their right minds -- is going to turn down an pregnant woman when it’s concerning another pregnant woman?
Lucky and Luke hopefully wouldn’t.
Just as Luis picked up his cell phone to call his compradre` in crime, Cameron Lewis, when a loud shriek coming from the hallway startled him.
He looked out the window and saw Carly running up to Leticia and hugging her as Dr’s Thorhheart and Ramsey raced passed them and into Michaels room, closely followed by a herd of nurses and technicians.
“Oh God,” he gasped, shoving the phone into his pocket and rushing onto the scene.
In the hallway he could hear Leticia’s wails mixed with the frantic beeping of alarms going on. He rushed over to the hysterical women. “What’s wrong?”
“He… He was fine…” Leticia sobbed. “And… And then…” she couldn’t speak. Carly looked shell shocked, tears streaming down her cheeks, but other wise nothing.
“My baby…” she kept whispering, her eyes looking in the direction on his room, but he had a feeling that she wasn’t seeing the room. “My baby…”
There was nothing he could do. No words of comfort he could offer, for what Carly was experiencing was far beyond the scope of his perception. He had lost his children, but he had never had to watch them writhe in agony as he watched helplessly from afar as doctors frantically swarmed around them, desperate to ease their pain.
<DAMMIT AJ, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU>
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
For some reason they were in a cave.
“Kristina?” She asked. “Are you okay?”
Her entire being was white, her hair, her skin, her clothing, only her vibrant brown eyes remained in tact.
“Maybe we oughta sit down.” She offered. But she was unsure if Kristina could hear her.
“Kristina…” She reached out to touch her but her hand went right through her. “Um…” she looked heavenward. “Umm… Guys… Something is WRONG down here!!”
Kristina started to sway a little, Courtney tried her best to be there in case she fell.
“Okay, I didn’t think it was possible for Angels or spirits, or WHATEVER we are, to get sick!!” She called out.
No answer.
“Okay guys! I. Need. HELP!!!”
Maybe that last mission was too hard. Maybe they shouldn’t have gone to Faith Rosco in her sleep. Maybe they shouldn’t have done a LOT of things they did but they had and now she couldn’t just snap her fingers and undo them.
“Kristina, please, I REALLY need you to NOT flake out on me… okay, maybe that was bad syntax, but PLEASE, whatever you do DON’T leave me here…” she looked around her. “… wherever ‘here’ is…” she mumbled to herself.
Suddenly she stopped swaying and looked around as though confused. “Oh no…” she moaned, then fainted, falling away from Courtney.
Out of nowhere, or so it seemed, a young man came running into through the caves entrance and kept her from hitting the ground.
“Aww man. This is so not cool.” He whispered to himself.
“Um… Excuse me?” He turned to look at her. “Hi. Who are you?”
“Oh,” he chuckled nervously. “Um… my name? Oh… That would make you Courtney, huh? Oh… you wanted my name… yeah… um…” he looked down at Kristina, knelt down and laid her on a cot that hadn’t been there 5 seconds ago. “Umm… yeah… my name is…” he looked heavenward. “This is okay… right?” He waited. “Okay, Okay, I’ll get to it!” He replied to a voice only he could hear. “My name is… umm… yeah, my name is Fernando.” He said evasively and then looked away and back down at Kristina. “Oh my amado. Oh el corazón, why did you do this to yourself?” He asked as he patted her hand and then kissed her cold fingers.
“Why La miel, why? You knew that you shouldn’t… But I guess that why, huh?”
“I, I don’t understand. What happened to her?”
He gave her a look of perplexed annoyance. “She… you’ve heard the term multi-tasking?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, Kristina here, has multi-tasked herself out of power. She’s drained… in the most literal of ways.” His head snapped in her direction. “Didn’t you notice her color fading? Why didn’t you stop her? There’s no way you didn’t notice a change! How could you let her do this to herself!?”
“I…. I…”
“SILENCE!!!!”
~*~*~*~*~*~
“You’re coming with me.” The voice instructed calmly.
“Where too?” Faith demanded from her seat.
“Home.” He said simply, with a wry smile.
Her stomach dropped. “Why? Why!? There’s nothing there! It’s OVER! They. Are. DEAD!!!” She shouted, jumping to her feet as another burly man went to grab her arm.
He glared at her, but was smirking.
“So you think they’re dead, huh?”
“They ARE!”
Both men chuckled.
“Or are they.”
She felt her world collapse around her. She just didn’t realize that they had knocked her out to do so.