Viagra virus - Turns your software into hardware.>
Ellen Degeneres virus - Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.
Monica Lewinsky virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer.
Titanic virus - Makes your whole computer go down.
Disney virus - Everything in the computer goes Goofy.
Mike Tyson virus - Quits after one byte.
Prozac virus - Screws up your RAM but your processor doeesn't care.
Sharon Stone virus - Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.
Lorena Bobbit virus - Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.
Tim Allen virus - Appears helpful, only to destroy your harrd drive upon contact.
Woody Allen virus - Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
Saddam Hussein virus - Won't let you into any of your programs
Tonya Harding virus - Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons
George Michaels virus - Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup
Joey Buttafuoco virus - Only attacks minor files
X-files virus - All your Icons start shapeshifting>
Spice Girl virus - Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop
Ronald Reagan virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored
Sony Bono virus - Just when you get surfing the web, a firewall appears out of nowhere
Martha Stewart virus - Takes all your files, sorts them by cataggory and  folds them into cute little doilies to be
                                      displayed on your desktop
Oprah Winfrey virus - Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks too 80MB,and then slowly expands to 300MB
AT&T virus - Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting
MCI virus - Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you'rre paying too much  for the AT&T virus
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus - Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.