The Amazing Harmonizing Police Force
News Anchor: Tonight we bring you a special bulletin! It appears that the most popular game show host in Faktys, El Felpudo, has run into a minor delay in his travelling. However, the problem has been dealt with, and he is still en route to the city.
Dashe: *Turns off the TV* DANG IT! ALL THIS TIME AND HE STILL ISN'T HERE??? GEEZ! WHAT AN IDIOT!!!
Nailo: I'm so tired I'm gonna crash right here in the lobby. *Collapses on the couch in front of the TV*
Dashe: -_- You do that...*Walks upstairs and goes to bed*
A few hours later, Travis and Elbie wake up. They see Dashe collapsed on the floor, fast asleep.
Travis: YAHOO!!! DASHE IS BACK!!! HEY DASHE WAKE UP!!!
Dashe: Unnnnhhhh...too tired...must...sleep...*falls asleep again*
Elbie: She's probably been up all night walking to the Inn, so just let her sleep. We can always level up in the meantime.
Travis: OH BOY LEVELING UP!!! ^-^
They go outside the city gates and level up three times. Travis masters the "Sheep Count" ability, and Elbie masters "Blizzard." Just then...
Chocobo: *Dashes over to them* Kweeh?
Travis: OH HOW CUTE A CHOCOBO! Hey Elbie, do you have any Gyashi Greens?
Elbie: !?!?
Travis: Oh never mind! *Grabs the Chocobo and starts squeezing it until its eyes bulge out and it starts to turn blue*
Chocobo: KWEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Breaks free and immediately starts mercilessly pecking Travis*
Travis: Look! It likes me!
Elbie: -_- Sure it does...
At this point in time, Dashe and Nailo wake up and meet in the lobby. The Innkeeper, none too thrilled about our heroine spending the night without paying up first, demands a 100 Gil fee for their stay. Dashe reluctantly pays the fee and they go outside.
Nailo: The first thing we have to do is report El Microondas to whoever is in charge around here!
Dashe: I know THAT, but Supreme Magister Cid won't be back from wherever the heck he's run off to for another three days.
Nailo: Doesn't this city have a police station?
Dashe: I'm not sure. I haven't seen one...
Just then, the roar of an engine crescendos through the streets as a blue and white motorcycle tears through the streets and zooms toward them.
Nailo: Well what do you call THAT thing?
Dashe: Looks like a police motorcycle.
Nailo: Don't just stand there you idiot, flag it down!
Dashe uses her ridiculously high Agility rating to catch up to the motorcycle and jumps in front of it. The driver slams on the brakes and the motorcycle screeches to a stop inches away from hitting her.
Cop: WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU TRYING TO DO GET YOURSELF KILLED???????
Dashe: ...I was trying to flag you down but you didn't see me the first time I tried.
Nailo: *Walks up to them* Listen, officer, we need to report a threat to Tikean welfare who goes by the name of...
Cop: Follow me to the police station. *Drives slowly to the Executive District, with Dashe and Nailo running to catch up with him*
Dashe, Nailo, and the cop reach the station and enter. There is a Townsperson inside waiting for something or another...
Cop: *To the Townsperson* Hey! What are you doing here?
TP#2: I...
Cop: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WANT FROM THE AMAZING HARMONIZING POLICE FORCE OF TIKEA!!! GET OUT NOW!
TP#2: O_o (Loser...) *Exits*
Dashe: Huh? Amazing...harmonizing...police force?
Cop: Yeah, we stop crime and sing in three-part harmony. *Takes off his helmet* Honestly, why do I even put up with this stuff anyway??? Who DOESN'T know why we're called that?
Dashe normally would have relpied with some sarcastic remark by now, but instead she has this weird look on her face and is staring in shock at the cop, who is now not wearing his helmet and talking to himself. The look is one of pure terror, and just screams, "I am now experiencing a HORRIBLE flashback." What does this cop have to do with the past of our young heroine? Well, as luck may have it, you're going to find out very soon. The screen turns all black and white like it usually does during a flashback. Dashe's mom is in the Poo Building, in the EXACT room she was in during the Festival of Eternal World Peace. Dashe, now about seven or eight years old, is sitting in an enormous office chair spinning around like crazy. A rookie security guard walks into the room. He looks VERY familiar...
Guard: Boss, what should I do now?
Mom: I'll be going to a planning board meeting on the 29th floor. Watch my daughter for me until I get back. I shouldn't be any longer than an hour. *Exits*
Guard: Hmm...this shouldn't be too hard. *To Chibi-Dashe* And how are WE doing today?
Chibi-Dashe: Listen Mister, you only say "we" when you're talking about both of us! You should have said, "How are YOU doing today!" I can't read minds, you know!
Guard: (Oh great, she's one of those bratty kids who thinks they know EVERYTHING.) My, do we have a bit of a temper!
Chibi-Dashe: U_U (What'd I just say???)
Guard: Well, I'll be sitting over here working on the computer if you need me. *Walks over to the computer and sits down. A noise that sounds something like, "PPPFFHHHHHTTTTT!!!" echoes throughout the office.*
Chibi-Dashe: ^_^ HAHA YOU FARTED!!!
The guard gets up and takes the whoopee cushion off his chair. Chibi-Dashe does a peace sign and the Final Fantasy victory fanfare plays. The guard glares at Chibi-Dashe. For the next hour and a half, Chibi-Dashe plays practical joke after practical joke on this poor guy and he falls for all of them. Then, her mom re-enters the room.
Mom: Sorry you two, the meeting ran a little long...was Dashe a good girl while I was gone?
Guard: THAT...THAT...LITTLE BRAT WAS AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE! NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I BEEN MORE INSULTED! I NEVER WANT TO HAVE TO DO THAT AGAIN! I QUIT!!!
Mom: Dashe! What did you do to him?!
Chibi-Dashe: Nothing! He's making it all up! WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! *Starts wailing and throwing a tantrum*
Guard: You little...I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS! ONE DAY I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!
The guard leaves the room, never to be seen again...until now. Back in the police station, the cop takes a seat at the desk. Dashe still has that dazed, nostalgic, and slightly perturbed look on her face.
Nailo: Hey Dashe, you look really weird! Have you driven this guy to extreme pain and misery in the past or something?
Dashe: *Snaps back to reality and sweatdrops* Who, me? No, I'd never do anything like that...
Cop: *Annoyed* Glad to see you're paying attention...as I was TRYING to say, since the Chief of Police, Lieutenant James Rumi the Second, is currently out looking for some loser, I, Lieutenant Minor M. Talon VII, Tenor of the Amazing Harmonizing Police Force, have been ordered to take care of all cases brought to the station. Therefore, I shall hear you out. Spill it!
Nailo: Well, there's this guy named El Microondas who abducted us from a party in Carvous and has been rumored to have been closing off a lot of booths in the Business District...
Dashe: Rumored??? I saw him shut down a booth a few days ago!
Nailo: Shut up! *To Minor 7th* We believe his intentions are malevolent, but can't be certain. Would you mind keeping an eye on him?
Minor 7th: All right. I suppose that could be arranged.
Dashe and Nailo walk away.
Dashe: (Phew! Mr. 7th didn't recognize me! Now I don't have to deal with him...)
Minor 7th: Wait a minute! You! The short kid in the Thief outfit! Could I have a word with you for a minute?
Dashe: O_O (Oh craaaaappppp...)
Minor 7th: Do you remember who I am?
Dashe: Um, I...er...well...
Minor 7th: Hmm...in that case, take a seat in the chair to your left. I will explain everything.
You go and sit down in the chair. The moment you do so, a loud "PFFFHHHHTTTTTT!!!" booms throughout all corners of the police station lobby. Dashe turns pale and groans. He DID remember you after all those years after all!!!
Minor 7th: Do we remember who I am NOW?
Dashe: *Slaps forehead* You suck. You really suck. AND IT'S "YOU" NOT "WE!!!"
Minor 7th: ^_^ Revenge is mine!!! *Final Fantasy victory fanfare plays and Dashe starts throwing wads of paper at him...*
