| did you know my name means strong? there were so many things i meant to say to you but they just got lost on the way to school today my windshield wipers don't work so well so i can't see through this shit will this ever be okay and i am fine but that's a lie and i know that's not what you want to hear i still feel so lost without you and that being said all the old cliches are true i can never love someone unless i learn to love myself so i guess i never loved you and if it's not you, then it can't be found and i say fuck the old sayings til they hit the ground cause i can't stop this shaking and i won't stop touching you and that will be true until the day my sky falls through here's to the good times and i'll drink to that drown my sadness until i forget my body is a battelfield and my heart its wounds and that's about as cheesy as you can get without misgiving all of your regrets so i'll raise my glass and drive my snow-logged car straight into a tree just no- that i loved you i broke my own hands with things i can't say and from the very beginning i never told the whole truth cause truth is in the eyes of the beholder and you weren't holding me any longer so i am fine but that's a lie and i know that's not what you want to hear maybe someday i can earn your trust back again maybe someday i can look you in the eyes again maybe someday i will live up to my name and maybe someday we will love and maybe someday we will die "but now i'm gonna live." -written 01.29.02 (*quote from the royal tenenbaums) |