| early december holiday... can't believe it's already december that's what we talked about the other night and i've been thinking that it's november but i was wrong and you were right and i remember those times with him when i would sink and he would swim and i've been wondering if it's always gonna be that way for me? and the worst part about this for me is that you still have so much control and i'm wondering if i'm really me cause you see i'm almost 19 years old thought i'd be doing something by now wonder where i'll be at 21 can't you see me out there in the distance i'm wearing that stupid smile that tells me i'm someone and you're laughing just like you've always been can't believe it's already december and with it comes the one before that and i still have that ring you gave me i mean it's just sitting there under my bed and i've been wondering if you really meant it at all when you said that you loved me can't you see me out there... and i'm falling into the same old patterns i'll get just a little too close and he'll keep me just long enough to break me now there's this boy i fell into and i've got problems he's got a girlfriend too and it all just seems to difficult right now but you know what i really miss it's that one and only solitary kiss that comes from someone you really love can't you see me out there... and i'm drinking up the night it's too tough to fight when you're hoping for something that you know is right and i'm just hoping he'll let me in cause i know i could find the right words to tell him how i really feel and he'd look at me with something that's real all i'm really hoping for is something that's real |