(AT RISE: JESUS and VINCE are sitting in                              a classroom, VINCE is naked.)

 

                                                                        JESUS

Vince, it�s Vince right? 

 

                                                                        VINCE

Yeah, what�s up?

 

                                                                        JESUS

Well, um, you know you�re naked.

 

                                                                        VINCE

I am? 

 

                                                                        JESUS

Yes, yes you are.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Wow, I am!  Can I borrow a piece of your robe?

 

                                                                        JESUS

Ah, then I�ll be naked.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Why are you wearing a robe anyways?  You know you look familiar.

 

                                                                        JESUS

Shhhh, Leroy is coming in now.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Shit, I hope he doesn�t see me naked.  Think he�ll notice?

 

                                                                        JESUS

Na, he�s a bit blind, besides I�m sitting in front of you.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Hey, you�re Jesus Christ!

 

                                                                        JESUS

Yes, I am, now shut up; he�s going to see you!

 

                                                                       

                                                                        VINCE

Hey, ya think anyone else noticed?

 

                                                                        JESUS

Yeah, that guy Erik keeps staring at ya, I think he might be a switch hitter.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Na, him, he�s to perverted to be a switch hitter.

 

                                                                        JESUS

Maybe your right.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Hey, why are you here anyway?

 

                                                                        JESUS

Good question, I wish I knew the answer.  One minute I�m talking to Peter, and then here I am, looking at your naked ass.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Oh, well how�s Peter doing?

 

                                                                        JESUS

Well, he�s doing as well as a dead guy in heaven can do.  I think I should go back; Leroy isn�t paying attention now, I think he fell asleep.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Yeah, that scene was rather boring, who�s was it.

 

                                                                        JESUS

Yours.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Damn, I�m that bad?

 

                                                                        JESUS

Yeah, I think it�s the punctuation. 

 

                                                                        VINCE

Well, I�m gonna blame it on the actors.

 

                                                                        JESUS

That�s unfair.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Hey life isn�t fair.

                                                                        JESUS

True.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Why is that?

 

                                                                        JESUS

I can�t tell you that. 

 

                                                                        VINCE

Why not?

 

                                                                        JESUS

Because, I can�t

 

                                                                        VINCE

That�s not a good reason.

 

                                                                        JESUS

It�s an unwritten law.

 

                                                                        VINCE

What the�what kinda government are you guys running up there, communist?

 

                                                                        JESUS

No, why would you say that.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Unwritten law?  Come on, no one has unwritten laws.

 

                                                                        JESUS

Well I�m sorry but not everything can be written on slabs of stone.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Why not?

 

                                                                        JESUS

Because, there aren�t enough stones.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Well write small.

 

                                                                        JESUS

You can�t just write small, then who�s going to read them?

 

                                                                       

                                                                        VINCE

We have microscopes.

 

                                                                        JESUS

Really, then why is it that the smallest molecule you can see is a quark?

 

                                                                        VINCE

I don�t know, I don�t handle those things.

 

                                                                        JESUS

Well I don�t handle the unwritten law policies.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Yeah you do, you�re the father, the son and the holly ghost.

 

                                                                        JESUS

That�s not the point.

 

                                                                        VINCE

By the way what�s up with that holly ghost thing? 

 

                                                                        JESUS

Well he�s complicated.

 

                                                                        VINCE

You�re telling me, I haven�t been able to figure that guy out in a long ass time.

 

                                                                        JESUS

To tell you the truth, I have no idea either.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Oh shit, Leroy is looking over here, hey so is Erick!  Damn perv

 

                                                                        JESUS

All right, that�s my cue I�m outta here.

 

                                                                        VINCE

Hey, lend me your robe!

 

                                    (JESUS disappears; everyone looks at VINCE points, and laughs.)

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