poem

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Pronounciations:
Ashymele: Ah-shee-may-lay
Lohrangelez: Lore-ahn-jell-ez

They're called griffons, sometimes. Around here, they are anyway. No...Not those animals that are half-eagle and half-lion....no. They are shape shifters...changing from one form of beast to just one other different beast. Sometimes they screw up and are stuck that way...half eagle, half lion. Of course some can change from a mouse to a gorilla...that is quite an odd combination. Those types of griffons are extra-careful when it comes to shape shifting...and they do it only so often, so as not to make a mistake and stay in the form forever.

I have only seen such a creature once in my life...but this one was not stuck in half-and-half form. This one...was beautiful...and perfect...

I was a young maid, perhaps fourteen years old when I first met Lohrangelez...Lohr, for short. Lohrangelez means Angel of the Cloud in the Old Tongue. I cannot speak the Old Tongue, but I know that Lohrangelez means Angel of the Cloud, because he told me so.

All right, I was fourteen, and at a very rebellious stage in my life. I would wander around through the woodlands to escape the demands of scripture and study, despite the warnings of my scholar. "There are many creatures out in those old woods," he would say after a day of frolicking and not studying. "One day you shall come 'cross one that is not so friendly as your little chipmunks and blue jays." I would purse my lips at him and turn up my nose, knowing that a stuffy, boring bookworm such as he would not understand the value such a wondrous place as those ancient woodlands.

I knew, also, of all the animals that resided within the boundaries of the woodlands, thanks to my abnormally paranoid teacher. Although I never contradicted him and made him eat his words, he had said that everything dangerous had moved out of the area...due to men and their lust for blood. A lot of peaceful creatures had fled, as well, also due to the want of skins and pelts. This fact saddened me, but it also heartened me; I had nothing to fear of wandering in the woods alone, a meek and young child of fourteen.

Fourteen...it seems such a long time ago. I was daydreaming, like I do most of the time, while lying on my back on a steep, grassy riverbank and gazing up on the magnificent red skies. Dusk was nearing, and I knew that I should have been heading home almost a half an hour ago--but something inside of me bade that I stay.

A shadow passed over me, and it went unnoticed at first, until I saw what cast it. A great bird of pray was gliding upon the wind high above me. I could not tell what kind of bird it was...only that it must be massive and graceful. I remained perfectly still, hoping to see the bird move across the skies in range of view. To my surprise, it had seen me and started to glide down to where I was laying.

At first, I panicked. A great bird of pray such as this could easily pick up a scrawny little girl and drag her back to its nest and feast for the night. My scholar's words now seemed to have meaning and worth...and I wanted to bolt up and run. The same thing inside of me that told me to remain where I was also would not allow me to move. I remember thinking: Do I want myself to die?

The bird landed on the opposite bank and looked in my direction as I sat up. Perhaps it was not out to eat me. My interests piqued, I remained as I was.

The great bird was an eagle, pure white with black speckles on the shoulders and back of the wings. It stood clear to my chest if I was standing. This bird was big enough to ride. The eagle cocked its head to one side to get a better look at me, peering me up and down with one golden amber eye.

"Ah, Princess Ashymele," it said in a perfect human voice. I gawked, for the beak had not moved, yet I could not doubt the fact that I had heard a voice. Of course the beak hadn't moved, I chided myself. Because he didn't talk at all! It would have been physically impossible anyway. One needs lips to articulate words. "My name is Lohrangelez," he said. I noted a hint of humor. "And yes, I did speak to you...just not out loud. Creatures like myself communicate with our minds. You are correct, one does need lips to articulate." Then, a chuckle.

I didn't say anything. I did not trust myself to say anything. I tried to remember what I had eaten earlier that day...what had been in that goblet that the new servant had given me at noon-meal? Perhaps it was affecting my mind...

"Come, come, dear princess. You can't tell me that you, of all people, would find it hard to believe in the likes of me. I am almost ashamed, dear girl!"

Finally, I gave into my mind's aspirations and decided to play along. It couldn't hurt. "How did you know my name? How could you know who I am?"

The bird opened its beak and cackled...a true laugh, this time. "Everyone around here knows of you, princess. You are the hope of our future..." Lohrangelez opened its wings to display a grand span of perhaps fifteen feet or more. The river wasn't large, but it was more than a few strides across. The eagle leapt across it as if it were a puddle, and came to nestle down next to me.

"What do you mean, beast?" I asked it. I had forgotten to be afraid as the smell of the great eagle wafted into my nostrils. "The hope of your future? Who's future?" What is it he smells of?

Lohrangelez told me of what I already knew--the slaughter of many beasts of the field and air when man moved into the ancient woodland. He said that he knew how much my scholar had taught me, and that it wasn't exactly the entire truth.

Mmm. The dilectably tart smell of strawberries.

"Your teacher has said that the evil beasts were slaughtered to protect their human families. The evil beasts were a dangerous threat." All at once, without even forming the words in my mind, Lohr transferred information from his mind to mine. No creature had ever been a threat. Dragons never attacked humans; gargoyles only protected their masters, whomever they be (usually trolls or gnomes, which had also been scared away). Werewolves...as they were called, were just another form of a griffon; a man-creature that could shape-shift into a wolf when it wanted to, not just on the full moon. Griffons were peaceable creatures...just as every creature in the woodland.

All of the poor animals that I had always longed to see had been mercilessly wiped out or banished from the ancient woods so that man could be the master of the forest and not need fear uprising of the natives. Then, once the beasts were gone, people started doubting their existence all together. It had been many generations since the animals had been chased out...or seen.

"We want our home back,� said the great eagle. "It is ours...our races die without the comfort and magic of these hills. We need you to help us back here."

It was in my heart to help these creatures return to their birth lands. Man did not live in the wood anyway; they feared it too much. None of my people would lose their homes. I stayed there well past twilight, talking with Lohrangelez. When I noticed the dark, I became alarmed. "I shall never find my way in the night!" I grieved. The eagle chuckled and told me no fear, offering his shoulders to me. I hesitantly and clumsily climbed aboard, hoping that I was not too heavy a load for the creature to carry.

"Nonsense, child!" the eagle tittered. "I carry great stags in my talons, I can carry a small girl upon my back. Hold on tight, for if you shall fall, the landing will be quite unfavorable." I grasped on as tightly as possible and leaned down close. Lohrangelez seemed to be cooing softly, as if to calm me. It worked; I felt at great ease as he lifted off into the skies.

The stars were out, and it was a glorious night. I felt no fear as I rode upon the back of the great eagle, and soon began to look about at the darkened landscape.

"Magnificent, is it not?" inquired the eagle. I could only nod, but I knew that Lohrangelez knew that I had agreed.

I ran each day after studies to meet with Lohrangelez. He said that there was no rush for me to bring the beasts of the ancient wood back...a girl of my age would have little effect on the courts and people, anyway. It would be best to wait until I was Queen.

My destiny never enthralled me so much before as it did now; I now had a purpose more than my own lust to rule. I longed to have the magical beasts return to the mother forest. I dreamt of it at night...and could never concentrate in my studies long enough to learn anything. I was always thinking of the great white eagle that had slowly become my friend.

In the afternoons and nights that we spent with each other, we grew to know one another quite well. I learned a great deal of the eagle himself, and not just of the creatures of which I longed to meet. He was the only of his breed, he said. He would not answer any more questions on that subject, though. He said that it was not time yet--I could not understand what he had meant.

Lohr taught me a little of the Old Tongue, the language of the magic beasts of the ancient woodlands. I have forgotten those few words by now, of course. I wish that I still remembered them. The Old Tongue falls like honey out of your mouth, and the syllables roll around sweetly and suculently upon your own tongue like that of a rippened gooseberry.

We grew to know and love one another greatly, and I found a true friend in him. I did not care that I had no human friends...for I spent all of my free time with Lohr.

I remember longing to be able to tell someone of Lohr...to share my experiences and tell of my plans in the future. Lohr told me that there must be consequences to everything; no one must know, lest I be sent away and the beasts be forever banished from the wood.

The years passed, and I began to grow and mature. I still went to see Lohr--though not as faithfully as in my youth. The responsibilities of the court grew more and more prominent and my free time began to slip away. Sometimes it was weeks in between that I would see Lohr, but I would be so busy that I wouldn't even be able to miss him. My father the King began to trust me more with responsibilities; bearing gifts and treaties to other lands in his stead, hosting royal banquets while he was away. He often said that I was becoming the Queen that he had hoped for, and never failed to mention the likeness I carried of my mother's face.

Then the time came for marriage. I knew that it was inescapable--in my father's Kingdom, I could not be Queen unless I had a King. I would be the one in power, however, since it was my Kingdom by birthright. Still, the thought of marriage was foreboding. Perhaps, when I am Queen, I shall destroy that law which makes the princess marry in order to gain her title as queen. A prince, after all, becomes king after his predecesory dies or names him. Why, then, should not a Queen have the same respect?

On the night before the Courting Ball--a stupid party where all of the suitors came to try and impress me into marriage--I managed to escape my duties and flew on my rambunctious little pony across the lands to the river where Lohr and I always met. As always, Lohr was there, waiting for me patiently. He never told me if he waited there every night, but I had a feeling that he did.

"My dear Lohr!" I cried out in morose. "My Angel of the Clouds!" I dropped off of my pony and ran to the great eagle. He remained still, waiting for me to come to him. I threw my arms around him and allowed myself to sob--something I hadn't done since I was a child. Lohr cooed as he did the first night I flew upon his back to calm me, but it would not stop my sobbing this night. He bent his head and wrapped his wings around me in a great eagle's embrace, saying nothing until I began to breathe steadily.

"Tonight is the last night of my innocence," I sniffled. Lohr knew exactly what I spoke of; he always did.

"It must be done," he whispered in my mind. "You have wanted to be Queen your entire life, Ashymele. The fate of many races rests upon your shoulders."

I knew he was right; and I had been facing this ever since I met Lohr. I unhooked my arms from his neck and sat down next to him.

"It just seems that it came so quickly, Lohr," I said. "It seems that I was fourteen just yesterday, gaily leaping across the courtyard and running across the countryside to find you." I closed my eyes. "I am to be affianced tomorrow."

We talked long into the night, and somehow Lohr built up my confidence and I no longer feared the impending event. When he flew with me back to my balcony, he perched upon the rail for a moment, looking at me silently. It was too dark and I could not see what was in his face...to this day I know not what he was thinking at that moment. The way he said goodbye seemed too final for my liking.

That night I dreamt of a stunning man of tallow-hued hair and smelling of the spring breeze when the early strawberries were ripening. He looked upon me with such love and need. Yearningly, I rapped my arms around him and buried my face in his neck to breathe in his spring breeze scent. I memorized the moment. I was awoken all too soon by my excited maidservants.

"Princess Ashymele! Today is the day that you will be betrothed! Our princess will be Queen!" they tittered over and over as they dressed me and fixed my hair for the event, which was taking place at the noon hour.

The day moved too quickly...I wanted to freeze time and step out of the time frame, look at my life, and run away from it. Did I truly want to be Queen? Would I even be able to bring the beasts back? What would happen to me when they returned? Would my Kingdom rebel against me?

I was near panic most of the day, and almost fainted as the first guests began to arrive. Some were of Kingdoms wishing for an alliance with my father's Kingdom through marriage, some were older widowers looking for a young body to carry heirs into the world; others were just young men of royal status in need of a Queen--or land.

When all of the guests had arrived, my father took counsel and demanded attention of the entire congregation. "Tonight is the night that I take leave of my powers as King," he began. "As my daughter chooses her husband and King, my Kingdom goes to her. Tomorrow this land shall have a new pair of rulers, and tomorrow this old King shall rest his weary bones and await his grandchildren." That statement sent sickening chills up and down my spine. Formalities began to shuffle down in my father's speech; he seemed to love hearing himself talk. Soon, the guests came up with gifts and well-wishings, words that they hoped would spark my interest and perhaps make me remember them.

I danced before the feast with many of the suitors, and none felt right to me. I knew that I was not marrying for love--I could not hope to marry for love. Only a foolish girl would hope for that. I was more looking for that one characteristic that I knew I could live with for the rest of my life. I did not know what it was yet, but I was sure that I would when I found it.

During the feast there was music and laughter, jesting and bet placing. Soon, though, I was being asked to dance yet again, and I could find no reason to object. I was passed around from dance partner to dance partner, until I felt my feet would fall off. Just as I was feeling my fatigue and about to pick a suitor randomly as my King, I was passed into the arms of a man I had known before...somewhere.

I could not recall who he was, though I desperately tried. I closed my eyes with weariness and breathed in deep. The scent of the spring breeze caught up in my nose and my eyes flew open. I looked at the light tallow-hued hair...it was almost silver, almost white, yet this man was handsome and quite far from the age of graying. "You...?" I said, and refused to let go of him when another suitor stepped up to take my hand.

The man smiled but said nothing as he gracefully waltzed me around the room. My father looked on with certain curiosity and high hopes--had his daughter actually chosen?? I moved closer to the man I was dancing with and the music changed. It became slower. I rested my head upon his shoulder, an act truly abhorred to for a princess dancing with a complete stranger.

But he is not a stranger! I shouted to myself silently. I know this man.

Finally the song ended, and fatigue truly swept over me. It was so much that I forced myself to make the decision, and my current dancing partner seemed to be the best to make at the moment. I centered on myself, and realized that, yes, I felt that feeling, this was the man of my dream, and this was the one who I knew I should make my King.

The congregation cheered when I announced my King, his name was Dalhart, the Barron of a distant land to the north. The suitors, although a little discouraged, knew that only one of the many would have been chosen, and shared in the happy moment for the kingdom. Being invited was a great honor in itself; it meant that you were not on the naughty-list for this Kingdom.

Dalhart was quiet, although he smiled at me quite a bit, almost encouraging me. I appreciated his silence; I felt a little uncomfortable around him as my father banged through the formalities of a royal wedding. It all seemed too fast--a decent courtship was all that I had ever wanted. My father had suddenly called for the Ball, saying that it was long past my time to marry and take over his Kingdom. I had a feeling that my father was hiding something--he was not as strong a man as he used to be. I could see his age, though he seemed to hide it well. My father was old--he had been old when I was born, almost fifty. I hoped that he would live long enough to see those grandchildren he so longed to see.

The matrimonial was over before I knew it--my mind had wandered again. When my father said the final words, "For this Kingdom, so let it be!" my heart sank. It seemed as if my soul was sold.

I looked meekly at Dalhart, and something in his eye startled me. It wasn't a dangerous look--but it was familiar. Comforting, almost. I immediately forgot that comfort when I remembered what was to come next: the wedding night.

Being a maid of barely twenty, I was still quite frightened to the life of husband and wife. As the maidservants lead us up to the royal bedchambers, I gritted my teeth and tried to remain poised and confident--a princess should never falter.

We were alone in the chambers. The heavy doors were shut for the night. I remained by the fire, waiting for him to make the move. Nervousness erupted within me as he moved closer to me.

Only, he did not come to me. Rather, he walked over to the balcony, and began to undress. I flushed and looked away as he did so, wondering why he had chosen to go out in the open to become naked.

"Face me, Ashymele,� he said quietly. I jumped--that voice-!!! I turned around, and what to my wonderment did I see, but Lohrangelez, a great white eagle with the moonlight reflecting off his feathers. My heart skipped a beat, and I could not speak. I could not move. And then, before my eyes, the great white eagle materialized back into the man form of which I was married--naked, of course, but it did not bother me now.

"Lohrangelez!" I cried, but still could not move. "How? How?!" I felt tricked, fooled--

"Listen to me, my love," he whispered as he slowly walked toward me. I heard his mind-whisper inside of my head, "I love you." I shuddered apprehensively. His eyes seemed troubled--he knew that this was a delicate moment and that he had to choose his words carefully. He let me linger on �I love you� for a little while.

"Please trust me when I say that this is not a ploy. I did not come here to marry you to make sure that my kindred races would regain their home. No, it is not that. I have loved you for so long, Ashymele...and when I saw how distressed you were last night..." he looked down. "I have always wanted this to be."

"Why did you not tell me? How could you keep this from me? After so many years, and you never trusted me..." I was so distressed. I was so confused.

"I could not--I can not explain why, for I do not know the entire reason, myself." he pursed his lips and his brow knit in frustration. "Something inside of me told me to keep my shape-shifting a secret. Do you understand? I could not tell you because I felt it would ruin things..." he trailed off. "I understand if you do not love me. I did not want to see you miserable. Perhaps I should have kept this a secret...no...that would not have been right. It was wrong of me to keep it a secret for this long."

It was then that I noticed his complete nudity. I flushed again and turned to look upon the fire. He moved closer to me, and my heart raced.

"You can not know..." I whispered. "I dreamt of you!" I believe that he understood how much the dream had affected me, even though he had not knowingly caused it.

"I have dreamt of you every night since I can remember, Ashymele. You are my hope, my life."

I understood that his yearning to live in the ancient woods with his old friends may have caused him to love me...but it didn't seem to matter just then.

"Will you love me still if I can not restore your kindred to their home?" I asked anyways.

Lohrangelez was silent for a moment. He touched my shoulder, and it sent warm vibrations through my skin. I prickled at his touch.

"I would love you, even if you failed to bring them back here. I met with you and recruited you because of it, but I love you because of something else. I love you because--you are in my dreams." He then began to tell me of how he dreamt of me before I was even born, of us together with children..."I had not known it was you," he had said. "I had not seen your face in my dreams...until last night. Last night you looked at me in my dreams and called to me." He trembled...a vulnerable act that I had never seen him commit. Suddenly I was in his arms, kissing him and crying, burying my head into his neck and stroking his light tallow-hued hair.

"I am so glad it was you!" I sobbed. He smiled--he was so handsome--and led me to the marriage bed.

It was a month later that my father died. He died happily, though--with news of an upcoming grandchild. My life could not have been better--to be experiencing true love and joy was more than I had ever hoped for. Lohr and I both strove toward our original goal of bringing the forgotten races back to the ancient woods. He gathered them in the night as the Great White Eagle Lohrangelez, and during the day I and Dalhart gained the confidence and love of our Kingdom. They surely would not up rise against me and rebel for allowing the ancient races back into my kingdom.

Then the day came when the forgotten races were reunited with the ancient woods. I had called an assembly of the entire Kingdom at the edge of the town. They were there, and I walked toward the woods. My people gave alarmed shouts and begged me to go no further, and soon I heard screams and gasps of horror as, one-by-one, different creatures began to peak their heads out of the wood. A dragon here, a troll there, a few unicorns, a myriad of faeries and wraiths, a phoenix-probably the last of its kind, wood nymphs, giants, and many, many creatures that I could not name began to surface.

I turned to face my people, preparing to make a speech. "My people-" I began. I hoped that I commanded enough attention for the gatherers to listen. "These are the long-forgotten creatures of children's stories. They belong here, more so than we do. I propose that we live with these creatures harmoniously--they belong to the ancient woodland and it to them. We need not keep them from their home any longer---"

"Monsters!" came the first shout. The crowd roared in agreement and the men started advancing toward the woods. Oh no! I thought. This was not good! Hate-filled shouts burst forth from the crowd, and I turned to see the beasts quickly retreating back into the woods. Lohr--my dear husband--burst forth from the woods and ran toward me. The enraged crowd now began to chase the beasts into the woods, and I could do nothing but watch as my people disappeared one by one into the darkened forest---never to be seen again. I know not to this day what happened to them. I never saw the forgotten again, either. None were ever found in the Ancient Wood, and the forest itself felt empty after that...like it had nothing left to live for. From that day on the forest began to die.

Lohr was grief stricken after that day. We remained in the woods--there were no more people for me to govern over any more, and the palace was drafty and forlorn without the servants and people bustling about. He seemed to be slowly dying with the forest, and I tried desperately to lighten his heart.

One day, late in my pregnancy, we went flying. We did not fly often any more, mostly for fear of the child I was carrying, but also because Lohr had no heart for shape shifting after that. On this day though, he seemed to have a purpose. I was so happy to be in the air with him that I did not push the reason as to why we were flying together again.

He took me to a land far to the north--I figured it to be the land he held as Barron Dalhart. There were people there, keeping up his holdings. They were knowledged to his ability to shape shift, although his people were completely human.

He had stayed with me in the forest for that long time I think to heal his wounds. He felt solely responsible for the destruction of both his forgotten races and my Kingdom. He often went back to the Ancient Woodland for many hours--sometimes for days.

Our son was born soon after arriving at Kitteldom, Lohr's land. Lohr said that if our son was part griffon, we would not know until puberty. I named him Xavi, a word in the Old Tongue for "remember", in honor of my husband's forgotten, and of my people.

The winter that Xavi turned four, Lohr deteriorated greatly. I was with child once again, a daughter this time, I was sure. Lohr was still as handsome as the first time I saw him, but he rarely, if ever, changed into the Great White Eagle form. His spirit was slowly dying, and it pained me to know that there wasn't a thing I could do about it.

The day he left was the most painful day of my life--more painful than the loss of my kingdom, than being responsible for the death of so many of the mythical creatures. Lohr woke up early one morning, as he usually did. He had never slept well after the loss of his people. He left on his usual morning walk, and never returned again. I had sent search parties out to look for my husband in the beginning, but I knew in my heart that he had gone to the Ancient Wood, and had become a part of it. I feel sorrow for his loss, and I miss him with unend, but to see his suffering ended lightens my heart a bit. Every day, Xavi looks more and more like his father. I find a little justification in that, and concentrate on raising my children just as my beloved would have wanted; to love all creatures and fear nothing. They have grown wise beyond their years, and I am proud to call them my offspring, although I know that it is probably Lohr�s spirit that lives within them.

To this day, the wood stands empty and forlorn, the welcoming love that one at first felt when entering has now long-since turned into weariness and foreboding. The woods have not turned evil, but still grieve for its lost children. I believe that one day the woods shall die completely, just as my love died.

It is a sad thing for me, and I feel that I let everything slip between my fingers--that I just stood by and allowed all those tragedies to occur. I know that I could have done more--that I should have done more...but I was young. For comfort, I will always carry with me the feel of the light tallow-hued hair, the brushing of feathers, and the smell of strawberries on a spring breeze that seemed to be intertwined with the life Lohrangelez my beloved.

Mmmm the delect-ibly tart smell of straw-berries.

"I drempt of you!"