| Chapter three: Clumsiness He was there! Sarah had held her breath the entire walk to the place where she had met Ben yesterday. She had that conventional fear that he was going to stand her up, that he had played an evil joke on her to get her hopes up. Boys do have a habit of torturing pitiful, ugly girls. Yet, he was there, waiting for her nonetheless. Sarah allowed herself to breathe, even though as soon as she heard it, Ben's voice took her breath away. Oh dear, she thought inwardly, must I behave like a little schoolgirl with a first-time crush? And why not?! the voice inside of her demanded. Your school girl romance years were wasted on fantasy books and daydreams. You owe it to yourself to behave like a little girl for once, an INNOCENT little girl...not one who wanders off into happy land when things get rough or boring. Sarah pushed that voice away from her and smiled. The voice of reason rarely confronted her; only on the most urgent of occasions. Was this not as an important occasion as any other? Ben presented Sarah with a single rose, and bowed before her sardonically. Sarah smiled, forgetting her nervousness; Ben had somehow eased her nerves with this charming wit and age-old chivalry. "Good evening, mistress," he said in a deep, seductive voice that made Sarah giggle. Oh, she liked him. "Good evening, kind sir," she answered in aquisience. "Where does my escort see fit to dine tonight?" "I was thinking a visit to the King of Burgers would be in hand," he said, chuckling, "but then I realized that this King would betray us with fatty acids and blocked arteries in the future." "Then where should we go?" "My fair lady, I seek only dining for your pleasure," and he took her hand and led her to the same grassy knoll as before, only there was a blanket spread out with a few lanterns and a couple KFC bags. "Oh, how divine," Sarah said in mock splendor. She was, however, quite impressed. Dining by moonlight in the dewy grass was beyond romantic. They settled down upon the thick blanket, and Ben reached over to turn up the lamps. "Not exactly candle light," he said appologetically, "But the fuzz around here would have a hay day with open flame in this area. You should have seen this one cop the other day who practically pounced on a guy for not extinguishing his cigarette. It was funny, but I'm thinking that these cops need to find something usefull to do instead of hanging around the park and jailing any litter bug." Sarah smiled genuinely. "I agree...these poor policemen seem quite bored." Then she added with a grin; "But, littering is still a crime!" They dined on greesy chicken and creamy mashed potatoes, and each shared a square of cornbread. Sarah found it easier and easier to talk with Ben, and enjoyed his company more and more. "Oh, dear," she said. "We've run out of napkins!" There was still slime on her fingers and her lips, and Sarah suddenly had a want to rid herself of greesy fingers. "Have no fear, my fair lady," said Ben as he lapsed back in his chivalric bravado. He waved a clean hankee in front of her face and Sarah happily snatched it and wiped her face and hands. "Thank you! Do you always carry around hankees?" "When I know that I'm going to need them, I do." He answered. Suddenly, Sarah reached over to Ben's face with the hankee and proceded to gently whipe off his face. He said nothing, but looked on her face intently, smiling. "Thank you," he said, and placed a tentative hand on her cheak. His unexpected touch sent jolts through her body, and she shivered visibly. Ben did not notice as he leaned in to kiss her. Panicking, Sarah knocked her forehead on his nose, and both let out an "oof!" of surprise. Sarah, you ox! she bellowed at herself, You've ruined it! The perfect first kiss, RUINED!!! Sarah was so embarrassed that she stood up and mumbled some excuse, running off before Ben could protest. What are you doing? the voice of reason screamed at her inside of her mind. Stop! Go back! Idiot! But Sarah rarely obeyed reason. Reason meant reality, and reality meant pain. So what if she was over-acting. The fact that Ben knew that she was clumsy meant htat he would know that she was inexperienced, and real men liked experienced women. Ben was definitely a man. Will I ever see him again? she wondered as she sprinted home. Probably not, said Reason, quite annoyed. You've been here two years and you are just now meeting him. This is a big place, Sarah. You'll lose him if you don't go back. But Sarah retreated to her dorm to mull over her clumsiness and ignore the fact that she might have wrecked her entire chance for a blissful, happy future. Ben was perfect! Far more perfect than she could ever hope to settle for. Why was she such a screw up? For the first time in many years, Sarah went to sleep without first drifting off to fantasy land. She forced her mind to be blank, devoid of any thought, lest the image of Ben's smiling face haunt her before her eyelids. Sarah wanted to cry, wanted to scream...but then somebody would call the cops, and, knowing the local law around here, they'd jump up like a spooked rabbit and be at her door step before she could blink. Besides, she might wake up Betty... But her adventurous roommate was not in the dorm, Sarah remembered. Sarah had not noticed Betty's absense in all her grief, but then recalled her roommate's braggart tale of some tall dark and handsome, and Sarah knew that she would not be seeing much of Betty tonight. Sighing, Sarah tried not to mull over the fact that everyone had someone but her. Hey, it's your fault. "Shut up!" she moaned, her own bedraggled voice startling her to full awakedness in the dark of her room. Sarah lay there for a while, forcing her mind blank, and realized that sleep, as on most nights, eluded her. Sighing, she decided to take a shower, and gathered her towel and other essentials. Tonight's shower would be a long one. |