Disclaimer:  Scarecrow and Mrs. King and its characters belong to WB and Shoot the Moon Productions.  No infringement is intended.  This is written for entertainment purposes only.  Please do not redistribute or reproduce this story without our permission.

Authors:  Alleycat, Lisa, Cheryl, Rita, Bubba, Steph, Lynda and Kris.

Rating:  NC-l7

Summary:  This is the round robin Alleycat began and everyone had such fun writing and reading.  I’m not giving away anything, have your spew guards up and be ready to laugh your asses off.  Now for your reading pleasure the story in it’s entirety.

I Do RR

The church was decorated with the most gorgeous white roses. Friends
and family filled the pews, eagerly anticipating the joining of the
Happy couple. Lee Stetson and his Bride to be, Amanda West King,
stood together facing Reverend Adam W. Dexter as the cleric began
the Marriage ceremony with the Familiar words, Dearly Beloved, we
are gathered here today… Reverend Dexter spoke to the congregation
of all that marriage should and should not be, reminding the couple
and their guest that marriage was the joining of two hearts, minds
and souls into one, yet it was not a death of the couple as
individuals. As a final lead in to the exchanging of vows, the
minister spoke to the church full of witnesses, and asked, "Is there
anyone present today, who can show just cause, why this couple
should not be joined as husband and wife, both legally and in the
site of God? The church was silent. Reverend Dexter drew in a deep
breath and prepared to ask Lee if he would take Amanda to be his
lawfully wedded wife, but before the minister could utter a word a
voice rose from the back of the church. Every head in the church
turned towards the sound of the voice to see just whom it was that
had spoken up. Lee and Amanda were quite shocked that their wedding
was interrupted by…

The tall man rushed forward and fell to his knees before Amanda. "No! No! No!  Amanda, my darling, I can't let you do this! I can't let you marry Scarecrow.  He's not the right man for you. I love you, Amanda! I've loved you from afar.  I know I have treated you badly at times, but only because I was so jealous.  Please, my little passion flower. You must know that you can only love me!"

Amanda crossed her arms and stared at the groveling man at her feet. "Dr. Smyth, have you completely lost what little mind you have?"

Amanda woke up in a sweat, her heart pounded as she recalled the
dream. Oh my gosh, that's the weirdest dream I've ever had. Why
would Dr. Smyth interrupt our wedding and say he loved me? She
shivered and rubbed the goose bumps on her arms. She rolled over and
found the bed empty, and then she heard the sounds of water running in
the shower. Sliding out of bed she went to the bathroom door and
opened it. Steam enveloped the room and she made her way through the
haze to the glass shower door. "Why didn't you wait for me?" She
opened the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Sorry, Amanda. This was the only place we could talk without our
conversation being picked up by unwanted ears." Billy motioned for
her to come in the shower of in her and Lee's room at the hotel.

She took stock of the motley crew in her shower. Francine was
wearing a purple polka dotted raincoat, Billy was there in a bright
yellow slicker and matching galoshes. Beaman, the poor man, was
trying to hold a file folder over his head to keep himself dry. She
finally noticed Lee standing in the corner, holding a washcloth over
his private parts.

"Hurry up, you're letting all the cold air in." Francine barked as
she pulled Amanda into the amazingly large shower. She hastily
buttoned Lee's white dress shirt that she'd pulled on before she
came into the bathroom.

Amanda closed her eyes, shook her head and when she opened them she 

still found herself surrounded by her co-workers.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on here?"  Out of the 

corner of her eye she spotted Francine's hand moving towards Lee in 

an attempt to dislodge the washcloth from his grip.

In a flash, Amanda pushed her way to the corner and grabbed 

Francine's arm.  "Not so fast, sister.  He's taken.  He's mine."

"I just wanted the hair conditioner behind him."  She held up the 

bottle that had been sitting on a shelf behind Lee.  "My hair is 

getting frizzed in here.  I figured the best thing to do is wash it."

Lee, at last, found his voice.  "Will someone please tell me why our 

honeymoon is being interrupted?"

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but there's a problem with your 

mother-in-law."  Billy stated looking down at the swirling water 

draining from the shower.

"My Mother, sir? Amanda asked. 

Both Lee and Amanda dreaded hearing from their section chief, what 

the irrepressible Dotty West had gotten into this time that was 

somehow a danger to National Security. 

It seems your mother decided she didn't believe all the stories you 

have made up about your whereabouts the last few years, when you 

have had assignments that kept you away from home. She took it upon 

herself to hire a private detective.

Amanda interrupted him with a surprised exclamation, "You mean my 

mother is actually having me investigated?"

Not just you, but Lee also, Francine interjected.

Beaman, not wanting to be left out, informed them that the P I had 

set off red flags when he tried to hack into IFF'S computers. 

Amanda couldn't believe her mother had actually hired someone to spy 

on her but she promised Mr. Melrose that she would find a way to make 

her mother halt the investigation before she compromised the agency. 

"It's too late for that, she has already blown your covers" Billy 

warned them. The P I is none other than the half brother of your 

assignment, Dimitri Vandovinski.

Lee groaned. He needed a beer. First all these people in his shower

and now to find out that not only had Dotty had them investigated,

but her insatiable curiosity had placed both his and Amanda's life

in danger.

He needed to think and that was certainly not gonna happen while he

was bare ass naked in the shower with his coworkers. Why he wondered

could his life never be simple?

Well if they wouldn't leave, he would. With that thought, the

handsome, hazel-eyed government agent, pushed his way to the door of

the shower and exited, giving his startled shower mates, an view of

his dimples.

Lee pulled on a pair of blue boxers and ordered breakfast from room

service.  Five minutes later the motley shower trio exited the

honeymoon suite without saying a word and Amanda entered the room

carrying a file.

His cock leapt to attention seeing her standing in front of the bed

in his semi-wet shirt.  Her nipples peeked at him through the

material.

"I want you."

"Not now, sweetheart.  We have to talk about mother, the PI and

Dimitri."

Lee pulled down his boxers showing her his throbbing cock.  "Now!"

Amanda licked her lips.  "Well I guess a quickie wouldn't hurt."

Alas, Lee had other Ideals and there was nothing quick about their

lovemaking. Scarecrow lingered over every part of her body as he

used his mouth, and his hands to bring her to a shattering climax. 

Lee knew that they would have to deal with all the problems his

mother-in-law had drawn down upon their heads, but this was their

honeymoon, damn it. He was determined that they enjoy some quality

time together before they once again went off to brave the word of

counterespionage.

The things Lee were doing to her body felt so good. Why Amanda

wondered to herself, did life always have to become so complicated

whenever she and Lee tried to find a little time alone to

themselves. She closed her eyes as her husband kissed her on the

lips.

Lee had positioned himself to join their bodies. Just as he entered

her welcoming body, their room door burst open.

"Room service."

He pulled the sheet over them covering their bodies.  "What the

hell!  Don't you guys knock anymore?"

"Sorry, Sir.  I knocked several times and received no answer."

"Can't you see were busy?"

"Yes, Sir.  Will that be all?"

"OUT.  NOW."

The door closed behind the interrupting waiter.  "Now where was I? 

Oh yeah, right about here."  He placed his cock at her opening and

the telephone rang.  "Damn it."

This was getting ridiculous, growled a very frustrated Scarecrow.  

Amanda reached for the phone. The voice on the other end was of

course her mother.

Lee slid off Amanda and began to beat his head upon the pillow next

to her. He stopped when he heard Amanda's panicky voice

shout, "Mother. . .Mother are you okay" into the phone. Suddenly, Amanda threw the receiver down, jumped out of bed and began to get dressed in a hurry

Knowing something was very, wrong now, Scarecrow asked his partner

what was going on. His very, pale spouse told him, "I was talking to mother, all of a sudden she screamed. . .and then the line went

dead."

His erection died quickly as worry for his wife and family took

over.  "Was she at the house when she called?"

Amanda punched in the Agency's number as Lee began to dress.  "I

believe she was at the house.  I'm going to get a team sent over to

the middle school to watch the boys."

"Good idea, then we can focus what else is going on."  Lee finished

strapping his shoulder holster into place, when a knock at the door

sounded.

"Who the he--" Lee was pushed out of the way as his half dressed

wife rushed to the door and yanked it open.

"Room service."  A large pale man glanced around the room as he

pushed his cart directly in front of Lee.

He knew something was wrong.  For one thing, they hadn't ordered

room service; for another, his uniform was at least three sizes too

small.  "We didn't order anything.  You must have the wrong room."

"No Scarecrow, I have the right room."  He took hold of the large

domed lid that covered a silver tray.

Lee reached for his gun as Amanda gave a karate chop to the man's

neck as he uncovered the tray.  A tray full of Condoms, KY jelly and

the largest vibrator he'd ever seen.

"Damn it, why'd I let myself get roped into this.  It's going to be

easy, he said. Just pretend to be room service and deliver the gag

gift."  He rubbed his neck as he backed out of the room.  "I knew I

never should've let The Wizard talk me into this.  He doesn't know

you, He said.  He won't suspect a thing, He said.  Damn that man."

Lee rolled the cart the rest of the way into the room.  "We'll save

this for later, but now, I have a mother-in-law to rescue."

Lee grabbed their jackets from the closet and returned to find

Amanda fingering the vibrator and muttering "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh,

oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh."

Amanda ran her hand along the hugest vibrator she'd ever seen.  Lee

was well endowed, in fact enormous, compared to her ex.  But this

humongous cock intrigued her.

She turned it on and felt in vibrate in her hand.  How would that

feel buried deep inside her, having Lee use in on her.  She felt a

wetness seep between her legs.

"Amanda."  Lee grabbed the vibrator from her and switched it off

throwing it onto the bed.  "We have to find your Mother."

Taking her eyes off the cock his words penetrated her thoughts of

sex.  "Remind me to thank Paul later for the gifts."  She grabbed the

coat from her husband.  "Let's find mother."  She opened the door and

walked right into a man getting ready to knock on the door."

"Leatherneck!  What in the world are you doing here?"  Lee pulled him into the room shutting the door behind him. 

"Well, we had tapped your house phone and when the call went through from your Mother, we intercepted it and were able to find out where she is."  Leatherneck held up the suitcase.  "Here's your cover clothes and such so that you can go in and get her out of harms way."

"Cover clothes?"  Amanda looked skeptical.

Opening the suitcase, Leatherneck extracted two sequin dresses.  "It's a cross-dressing fashion show.  You are both contestants and the audience decides if the person on stage is really a man or woman."

No, No. I won't do it. No way in hell. Leatherneck, have you lost

your mind?

But Lee, it my mother, his wife reminded him.

Yeah and your mother-in-law, Leatherneck threw in. Billy had

Francine, pull everything the agency has on the place where Mrs.

West is. Lee accepted the file from him. The folder contained

information about the building including blue prints, the owners and

staff. The last sheet in the file was a flyer advertising the show

in fashion show Leatherneck had mentioned.

La Cage or No? Lee read the title of the show off the flyer, shook

his head and gave the folder to Amanda to study. When Amanda had

finished perusing the folder she turned just in time to see Lee

remove a girdle from the clothing bag. Stetson calmly laid the

undergarment on the bed, without saying a word. Amanda couldn't help

but laugh at the look on his face. She stopped laughing when shots

rang out.

Lee pushed Amanda to the floor covering her with his body. 

The sounds of laughter filled the room and Lee looked towards the

open balcony doors.  "Stay," he mouthed to her.

He pulled his gun from the holster and made his way to the doors,

peeking around them to get a better look.  Closing the doors he

reholstered his weapon and placed it on the bed stand.

"A couple of teenage boys are on the balcony next door shooting off

fire crackers."

"That could be dangerous, maybe we should report them."

"Let them play."

Amanda picked up the girdle and bra.  "Are you ready to get dressed?”

"Do I have a choice?"

"No."  Amanda took a step closer to him holding the undergarments

right in front of his face.

"Arg."  Lee took the bra from her and slipped the straps over his

shoulders then pulled the clasp around to the back. Amanda giggled

as she watched him twist and turn trying to get it fastened.

"There is an easier way to do that, you know."

"No, I don't know.  I'm pretty good at getting them off, but I don't

think I've ever attempted to put one on a woman before."

"It's simple."  She removed the bra then placed it around him with

the clasp in front.  "Now, hook it, then pull it around and slip

your arms in the straps.  Now we need to find something to stuff it

with."

"Stuff it, why?"

"Cause you need to have boobs, you don't want to be the only flat

chested female there."

"Okay," Lee sighed.  "What do we use, tissues?  How bout your

panties?"

"No, these."  Amanda held up two silk nighties.  "You'll only need

one in each boob, if we use them."

Lee stood in place while Amanda rolled up the nighties and put them

in the bra cups.  "There."  She patted them in place.  "Perfect."

Lee tried to do the same to her but she sidestepped him.  "Now you

get into the girdle and I'll go get the make up."

"Make up."  Lee's face went white.

"Yes, make up.  Be grateful the gown is long, otherwise we'd have to

shave your legs."

Lee shuddered as he pulled on the girdle.

Amanda stepped out of the bathroom, make up bag in hand. "What color

panty hose did they get you?  If they're nude, we still might need

to shave your legs, or wax.  The hair will show, and that dress is

cut pretty high on the thigh."

"Wax? The only thing I'm ever getting waxed is my car! Man, I need a

beer." Turning around Lee caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror

above the dresser. "UGH, and do I need one right now!"

  Lee grimaced as the warm wax flowed over his calf.   The feeling

would probably excite him other times, but Amanda looked all to

happy wielding the little wooden paddle over his leg from his way of

thinking.  What was that saying? *Revenge is sweet.*

Amanda smoothed the clean cloth strip over the hairiest portion of

his leg.  Lee felt his mouth go dry, *I should have got the beer

when I had the chance* he thought grimly.

Suddenly, without warning Lee's whole world exploded in a haze of

unbearable pain.

Yelping in surprise, Lee bolted from the bed to go stand in the

corner.

"You said you'd be gentle!"  He waved an accusatory finger in

Amanda's direction.

Amanda couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up from inside her.

*Who ever heard of a gentle waxing?*

She watched as he tried to bend over to rub the now smarting skin on

his leg, then laughed even harder as the too tight girdle prevented

such movement.

She didn't know who looked more surprised, Lee as she'd ripped away

the backing strip or the bellboy who'd brought the wax up to them

and silently handed it to a frowning Lee.

"Okay, okay, we'll shave the rest," an amused Amanda conceded. "

Besides, thinking of your hairy legs in black silk stockings was

giving me nasty flashbacks to my Aunt Mary anyway."

Amanda dragged Lee into the bathroom and turned the hot water on. 

While it got hot enough she lathered his leg with shaving cream.

"Okay you do the front, I'll do the back."

Lee began shaving his leg, he never thought this would be part of his

anatomy that would feel a razor.  Amanda be careful with that razor,

you're getting awful close to the crown jewels.

"Don't be such a baby.  I won't hurt you."

After rinsing off the shaving cream Amanda handed him a pair of

black, silk, nylons.

"How do I put these on?"

"First you need to put the garter on."

Lee slid it on over the girdle.  "Now what"

"Sit down on the toilet and roll them up your legs."

Lee placed the toe of his foot into the silk nylons and began to roll

them up his legs.  While Amanda helped him put the stocking on the

other leg.  They felt incredibly soft.  He always loved pulling them

off Amanda, but feeling them on his own body felt sinfully decadent. 

He attached the garter snaps to the stockings and stood up.  "How's

this?"

"Just right."  She snapped the garter against his leg.  "It's fun

putting them on someone else.  Great legs."  She giggled.

'It's a good thing this girdle is tight.  It makes the stocking

induced erection not show.’

"Now for makeup," Amanda dumped her make up bag onto the large

counter in the bathroom.  "Just sit still and this won't take long."

"Do I have to wear all that goop?"

"Do you want to look like a cross dresser and fit in or what?"

"Okay.  But be gentle."

"That's not what you said last night."  Amanda picked up a bottle of

foundation and stood in front of him, straddling his legs. 

He closed his eyes and actually started to enjoy her light caress as

she rubbed the make up into his skin.

"Which do you think?  Ruby Red or Posy Pink?"

"Red or pink what?"

"Blush of course."

Lee rolled his eyes.  "What makes you think I would be good at

choosing a color?"

"You're right.  I think the red would look better with your skin

tone, as well as with the dress."

"Whatever you say.  You're the boss."

"And don't you forget it, Big Fella."

Lee squirmed and tried to adjust his penis.  "Not in this girdle I'm

not.  This thing had better not do any permanent damage."

Amanda sat down on his lap and wiggled over his crotch.  "I'm sure

Junior will be just fine.  If he needs any help.  I guess I can give

him some mouth to head resuscitation."

"Aaamaandaaa...."  Came the tortured groan from Lee's lips.  "I don't need more discomfort on top of everything else.  Now how much more do we have left to do, so that we can go rescue your mother and resume our honeymoon?"

"Not much, sweetheart.  I'm going to need to pluck your eyebrows a little bit and we should have you practice walking in heels too.  It's not easy to walk in heels and a dress, especially not the dress you’re wearing."

"Ouch, damn it."

"I know it hurts, sweetheart, but you can't have bushy eyebrows.  Be

glad you're lucky we don't have to wax them."

Lee closed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

"There now, all done."

Looking into the mirror Lee stared back at himself, his eyebrows were

plucked in a sweeping arch.  "I hope they grow back quick."

"Don't worry, they always do."  Amanda sighed.  "Here put the wig on

first, then I'll finish putting the eye make up on."

He held the shoulder length hair in his hands.  "Do you think I'll

look good as a red head?"

"You'll look just fine as a red head sweetheart, we just have to dye or color with some make-up your eyebrows to match."  Amanda turned to dig through her bag looking for something that might suffice.  "Lee, would you check and see if they sent any long gloves to cover your arms for me please?"

"We are NOT, dying anything on me, you can color it or it can be left alone."  Lee tried to twist around to look through the pile of stuff to find that he could barely move in the tight girdle.

"Stop fidgeting.  You put on the wig and I'll fine an eyebrow pencil."

Lee stood up, stood up, faced the mirror and started putting the wig

on.

"Wait, you have to put the hair net on first."

"Why do I need that?"

Amanda smiled.  "It'll make it slip on easier."

"I'd rather slip out of something."  Lee said tugging on the girdle.

"Just do it, Scarecrow."

A couple of minutes later the wig was in place.

"Sit back down.  I found an eyebrow pencil, but I want to curl your

eyelashes first."

Lee saw a funny contraption coming towards his eyes and held up his

hand.  "Not with that thing."

"What's the matter, I use it all the time.  It won't hurt you."

"It looks like it'll maim me."

"Don't you trust me, sweetheart?"  Amanda pouted her lips and

sniffed. 

"Don't you dare try to pull some `poor me' routine.  If any one can

get away with pouting it's me."  He swept his arms across his

transformed body.

"I'll give you that one.  Now sit still while I curl your lashes.  I

promise I won't hurt you, if you stay still."

Lee sat on the toilet and recited his mantra, if it worked while

being tortured, surely it would work now.

"Lee, sit still."

"I'm trying."

"Try harder or I might pinch you with this thing."

"It's hard to sit still in this girdle when I have to pee."

"Didn't you go before you put it on?"

"Well, no I didn't need to then."

"You're worse then the boys.  One more second."

"Please, hurry."  Lee tried not squirm.

"Okay, done."

Lee stood up so fast, his hands on the edges of the girdle, he almost

knocked Amanda over.  "Sorry."

"I'll wait outside."

"You don't want to watch?"

"I think you can handle it on your own.  I'll be waiting outside." 

Amanda shut the door.

"Damn this thing."  Lee struggled to lower the hindrance to his

manhood.  Finally, he could manage to take a leak.  "Amanda, do you

have a scissors?"

The door crashed open.  "What do you want to cut?"

"I want to cut a hole in this damn girdle, so it'll be easier to go

to the bathroom."

"Don't you think if your dick is hanging out, it will defeat the

purpose?  It's supposed to keep Junior out of the way."  Amanda

shook her head.

"Junior doesn't like being squished like a pancake."  Lee finally

got the girdle back on.

"Welcome to my world.  And you wondered why I hated getting a

mammogram last month?"

"I now have complete sympathy for your squished boobs.  But this is

a little more drastic."  Lee pulled at the restricting garment,

trying to adjust himself into a less uncomfortable position.

"Just keep telling yourself this is to save Mother."

"That and quit thinking about you, It's hard to keep Junior under

control.  The only thing he's supposed to feel squeezed by on our

honeymoon is you."

"Come on we need to finish your makeup."

"More!  I'm beginning to see why it takes women so long to get ready in the morning."

"I'm glad, sweetheart.  Now sit down while I finish making up your eyes."

Five minutes later Amanda stood back and admired her handiwork.  "Well if I do say so myself, you make a very pretty woman."

Lee stood up and looked into the mirror and groaned.

"Now let's get you into the dress."  Amanda took his hand and led him into the bedroom.  She picked up the red, white and blue sequined dress from the bed and handed it to him.  "Here, you put this on while I go get ready."

"I'm gonna look like a fruitcake in a flag."

Lee looked at the dress, shook his head and began to slip it on. He

tried to reach behind him and pull up the zipper but gave up when it

begin to look like he was inventing a new version of the twist. He

sat down on the bed heavily with a plop. Lee had fantasized about

wearing costumes during his marriage to Amanda, but never in a

million years, would he have imagined himself in a dress. I can't

believe some guys actually do this for fun, he groused to himself.

Amanda exited the bathroom, where she had gone to finish dressing.

She gave Lee, the once over to ensure that he was ready. She took

his hand and helped haul him up from the bed. Her husband's mutinous

glare indicated he wasn't learning to accept this situation,

gracefully. It was important to Amanda that Lee know how much him

doing this for her mother meant to her. Looking at her husband in

that dress, she knew that there were no words that could cover this,

so she just said a simple thank you and leaned up to kiss him on his

lips. Amanda stopped a hare's breath away from Lee's waiting lips.

"What? Why did you stop?" he asked.

"Well, sweetheart," she giggled. "It is kind of weird, kissing my

husband while he is wearing a dress."

The scorching look Scarecrow gave her would have melted a glacier

As they prepared to exit the room, Amanda called out to Lee, "aren't

you forgetting something?"

Lee could think of nothing he had forgotten. He went over his mental

checklist and decided that he had everything: file folder, blue

prints, his gun. Thinking about his gun caused him to smile.

Goodness knows he hadn't had much to smile about tonight, but Amanda

had been so contrite about her `kiss' comment that she decided to

make it up to him by helping him strap his gun to his thigh. Lee

grinned remembering her hand sliding up his leg, lightly brushing

over his penis, giving it a quick, firm squeeze through the torture

chamber, as he had started referring to his girdle, he was wearing.

Yeah that sure felt good he reminisced.

"Ouch!" Lee rubbed his sequin clad posterior and gave his wife an

evil glare. Amanda had pinched his on his butt to get his attention,

when it became obvious that he wasn't listening to her.

"That was just wrong" he said standing with his hands folded across

his chest.

Amanda really tried to show some tact, but the sight of her

masculine husband standing in front of her, in a dress, with his ruby

red lipsticked lips poked out in a pout was just too funny. She

reached behind him and picked something up off the bed. As she

walked past him on her way to the door, Amanda handed him to item,

and said in a deceptively sweet voice, "Here sweetheart, don't

forget your purse."

"Come on, sweetheart."  Amanda grabbed Lee's hand and dragged him out the door.  "You have a mother-in-law to save.  I just hope you don't have to fight off *too* many men at the party."

Lee groaned.  "Oh, Amanda.  If any *man* hits on me, I won't be responsible for my actions!"

"I understand."  She winked.  "But I could hardly blame them.  You're just so gosh darned cute in that dress."

Lee parked the 'vette in the parking lot of the hotel where La Cage or No? was being held.  As they made their way inside Amanda eyed all the lovely dresses the women wore.  Or were they women?  In some cases she couldn't tell.  They looked so fabulous.

"Keep an eye out for your mother."  Lee whispered to her as they entered the Grand Ballroom.

"Contestants or audience?"  A woman dressed as Mae West inquired.

"Ummmm."  Lee couldn't speak.

"Contestants."

"Sign in here."  Mae pointed and handed them numbers.  "The show begins in fifteen minutes.  You just made it."

"Thanks," Amanda replied handing Lee one of the numbers.

Mae winked at Lee and ran her hand along his arm.  "Why don't you come up and see me some time."

Lee pulled away and mumbled some excuse that he didn't even listen

too.  Backing away from Mae West he bumped into someone behind him.

A very tall Marilyn Monroe steadied him as he started to fall over

in his heels. 

"Excuse me."  Lee tried to straighten himself.

The Marilyn look-alike patted him on the butt.  "Be careful.  You

must be new at this.  You look a little unsteady in your heels."

The slightly husky voice didn't quite match the blond bombshell that

he was looking at.

"You've got some good looks, but you need to put a little more swing

in your caboose, sweet cheeks."

"Um, thanks."  Lee tried to make his voice sound a little more

feminine.  "I'll remember that."

Marilyn winked at him then walked away.

Lee grabbed Amanda's hand.  "Let's get back stage before anyone else hits on me."

Amanda slapped his hand away.  "You can't hold my hand, people will talk."

They almost made it to the door marked stage entrance but a body blocked their way.

"Hey, beautiful."  A woman clad in one of Cher's skimpiest outfits put her hand out and caressed Lee's check.

"I need to see your contestant numbers."

"Here."  Lee said in a high-pitched voice handing her his number.

Cher wrote down both their numbers on a clipboard.  "Okay, you may pass.  And a word of advice gorgeous, don't talk.  Your voice is a dead giveaway."

Amanda followed Lee backstage wondering why he kept getting hit on

and no one seemed to even notice her.  She glanced at her reflection

in one of the dressing mirrors.  She looked good.  Her push up bra

helped her fill out her dress quite well she thought.

Looking around at the other contestants she noticed that most of

their makeup was more flamboyant, as well as the size of their

boobs. 

Reaching for a Kleenex box nearby, she put a little extra padding in

her bra.

"What—" Lee looked at her quizzically.

"It can't hurt."  She adjusted her bosom then looked around the room

for any sign of her mother.

The lights went up on the stage and Lee could hear the emcee welcome

the audience to the show. He tried his best to stay calm as the

first contestant took the stage, but he knew his turn would come

soon and this was one time in his life, Lee Stetson suffered from

performance anxiety.

Soon the third contestant strutted her stuff on the stage. Lee's

natural curiosity got the better of him and he joined a few of the

other contestants who had gathered around the monitor in the green

room to view the show. The show was being taped from several

different angles with multiple cameras. Lee began to sweat profusely

when he caught sight of one of the cameramen. His mind thought it

apropos that he had to forgotten his deodorant and had to use

Amanda's secret this morning. His apparel might have been that of a

woman, but he definitely needed a deodorant that was strong enough

for a man when he realized one of the cameramen was none other than

Auggie Swan.

"Holy sh-"

"Hey, watch it, this is a family show.  No cussing allowed."  Cher

looked at the number in his hand.  "Oh, you're up next.  You need to

get in position."  Cher took his hand and drug him toward the

curtain.

"No, I don't think I can-"

"Yes you can."  Cher faced him and straightened the neckline of his

gown then adjusted his fake boobs.  "Just strut your stuff out

there. I can tell you've got the right stuff.  Show the judges."

"I guess I have no choice."  He glanced around the room and saw

Amanda giving him the thumbs up sign.

"And don't even think about those cameras for the pay per view

special.  Just pretend it's just you out there on the cat walk."

"Pay per view?  As in, cable?"

"That's right toots.  We've been trying to get this event televised

for years.  It's about time mainstream America gets a glimpse of

what we've got to offer."  With that she pushed him through the

curtain.

"And now contestant number ten."  Liza Minnelli announced.

Lee did a double take when he saw her.  If he didn't know any better he thought she was the real thing.

"Don't be afraid, darling.  Let the audience see you."  She took him by the arm and led him to the runway.

Okay, I have a wig and make up on, no one will recognize me.  Will they?

A hand pushed him on the back and propelled him into the spot light.  The sounds of "The Village People" singing "Macho Man" filled the room.  But every time the group sang man, the audience sang 'woman.'

"Come on, baby, strut."  Joan Rivers cackled.

The beat started to flow and Lee decided what the hell might as well do the best he could.

He sashayed down the runway and wobbled on his heels.

"If you fall, sweetie, I'll catch ya."  Julie Andrews told him as he righted himself.

At the end of the runway he turned his back to the audience and shook his booty.  When he did that catcalls from all over could be heard.

Sashaying back towards the curtains Lee, looked around for any clue of where they might have stashed Dotty.  It was hard to see for the huge crowd had swelled to its feet to cheer him on.

Knowing he needed a better look he turned and blew a kiss towards the audience as he did his best to see as much of the room and the people around as he could.  Spying something that might just be the break they needed Lee, slipped through the curtain as Amanda went the other way.

"They loved you darlin'!"

"Come on darlin'.  Give them an encore."  Dolly Parton told him turning him back towards the stage and pinching his butt.

Lee looked to the side and saw Amanda's retreating form.  Where the hell was she going?

The curtain opened to a thunderous applause as Dolly pushed him back out on to the stage.

Figuring he better play to them he bowed then curtsied.  A rose fell on the stage in front of him and he leaned over picking it up.  He sniffed the petals and blew the audience another kiss as he turned to leave the stage.  Before going through the curtains one last time he smacked himself on the ass, causing the audience to give him a standing ovation.

Backstage he looked around for any sign of his wife.  Deciding to go in the direction he last saw her he made his way through the throng of contestants.

Someone pinched his butt.  "If you ever get lonely, feel free to call me."  A voice whispered into his ear.

Lee grabbed the speaker by the collar and pushed him back to a vacant corner.  "Augie, if you ever touch me again I'll break your arm."

"Oh man, Lee is that you?  God they did a great job on your make up and dress.  I swear I didn't know it was you."

"Okay, okay.  Have you seen Amanda?"

"Yeah, I saw her going into the Ladies restroom."

Augie watched Lee walk away before muttering under his breath, "Damn, he makes one fine lookin' woman."

Progress towards the ladies room was slow as many audience members crowded around him.  The noise was deafening as piercing whistles rang out.  By the time he made it to the door his bottom was sore from all the pinches he'd received, not to mention his head spinning from the phone numbers.

Lee pushed open the door and went inside.

"Amanda, are you in here?"  He yelled over the chattering women.

He couldn't hear if she answered him and decided to canvas the room. 

Huge.  Women's bathrooms were enormous.  No wonder they stayed in

them for so long.

Making his way towards the door to the stalls he felt a prickly

sensation in his bra.  He reached in and pulled our several pieces of

paper.  Phone numbers and names.  How the hell did they get them in

there.  As he threw them into the trash can he noticed some of the

names.  Sorry Rita, Ana, Steph and Lisa but I'm a happily married

man, even if I don't look the part at the moment.

Entering the stall area he found Amanda looking at something written

on the wall.  "I've been looking for you everywhere."

"Look at this.  I think it's a message from Mother."

While Lee and Amanda were occupied in the ladies restroom,

deciphering Dotty's Message, the next contestant had taken the

stage. This 'lady' oozed elegance and sophistication. The song

blaring in the background, 'Bette Davis eyes' was indeed

appropriate, because the contestant bore a remarkable resemblance to

Bette Davis.

As the ms. Davis look-a-like exited the stage, she moved over to the

rear of the building where the Agency's section chief, William

Melrose was in conversation with agent Francine Desmond. Melrose was

using the cover of manager for the entrants from the Agency. Bette

approached him, gave the code phrase of 'I didn't spot any sugar

daddies' to indicate that his general surveillance of the room while

up on stage had proven fruitless toward spotting the suspects.

Ms. Davis left Melrose and Desmond, after patting Billy on the cheek

and saying, "Well I've done my part kiddies, it's up to you now to

make sure little Jack Horner gets trapped in his corner. As Bette

sauntered by the ladies room door, Lee and Amanda rushed out running

smack dab into her. Scarecrow's eyes nearly bulged out of the

socket, when he realized the woman they had just run into was none

other than Dr. Smyth.

"Don't look at him.  Keep going till we get out of here." Lee took

Amanda's hand and pulled her with him, forcing his way past everyone.

It was strange, but while he held Amanda's hand, he wasn't getting

slapped or pinched in the ass so much.  He sighed his relief as the

past stings continued to burn out.

"What about Mr. Melrose and Francine?" Amanda asked.

"They can catch up to us.  Let's just catch a cab and get out of here."

"Shouldn't we pick up your car?"

"No, Dotty said to 'arrive anonymously,' and that wouldn't work."

Outside, Lee practically jumped in front of a taxi.  Amanda shivered

with fear, glad the cabbie was actually doing the 30 mph speed limit.

 It proceeded to stop, and the couple got in.  Billy and Francine

exited the establishment in time to see the Stetsons leaving.

The cabby looked in the rear view mirror.  "Where to ladies?"

"Tenth and Pennsylvania Avenue and step on it."  A deep voice replied.

The cabby turned around in his seat and gawked at the two passengers.

"I said step on it!  Now!"

"Yes, sir.  I mean ma'am."  Turning back around he switched on the meter, signaled to turn and decided against trying to be friendly with the couple.  The look the guy gave him told him don't mess with me.  He knew the look his wife gave it to him enough times.

Driving across the Key Bridge he watched the two in the back seat.  Why Me?  Why do I always get the weird ones?  The couple whispered to each other and the cabby strained to hear but he gave up and decided to observe them.  In all truth the guy looked kinda sexy in a weird kind of way.

Okay now I've seen it all, why is that woman letting the drag queen put his hand on her leg.  I thought they liked guys.  This town was getting as bad as New York City or Los Angeles.  Hell I should start in my own cable show I'd call it Taxicab Confessions.  Yeah.  Maybe one day I will.

He parked the cab and turned off the meter.  "Here we are 'LeBare.'"

The couple exited the cab and the drag queen threw some money at him.  "Keep the change."

"Thanks."  Now I wonder what the drag queen is doing in a male strip club.  He slapped his head.  Dummy.  Where else would a drag queen go, not to a strip club with women.  Wait till I tell the wife about this one.  She thinks my job is dull.

They couple stared at the door of their new destination.

"I thought she said we would be at a restaurant?" Lee whined.

"Uh, honey, turn around." 

He turned his gaze to the establishment across the street, a fine

restaurant called Duke's Daughter.  Lee sighed his relief on seeing

the popular steak eatery.

"Let's go in." Amanda stepped away from him.

"Wait, you brought my change of clothes, right?" Lee looked at her bag

Expectectanly.

"Well, yes, but your slacks and shirt are probably wrinkled now,

though I've no doubt your shoes and socks are fine."

"Damn.  Let me at least go into the bathroom and take some of this

padding off, huh?"

"I don't see the harm."

"Yeah, let's get across the street." As was his habit, he put his hand

 on the small of her back, crossing the street as fast as possible

once traffic cleared.

They entered Duke's Daughter and found themselves in a western motif

establishment.  Photographs of cowboys covered the walls--John Wayne,

Gary Cooper, Clark Gable, McDonald Carey, Roy Rogers, Henry Fonda,

James Stewart, Clint Eastwood, Gene Autry, Lorne Greene, James Arness

and Bruce Boxleitner--from various movies and television shows. 

Amanda stood in front of the picture with James Arness and Bruce

Boxleitner and stared at it.

"Why are you interested in that picture?"

"I swear this man," Amanda said pointing at the younger man standing

next to James Arness.  "Looks just like you, though younger."

Lee looked at the photo.  "I don't see a resemblance.  Come on, I

decided I can put up with some wrinkles to get out of this get up."

Amanda pushed open the door marked 'Cowgirls' and they entered the

restroom.  Placing her huge purse on the sink she started rummaging

through it.

"Here, use this to take off the makeup."  She handed him some makeup

remover.

Lee went to the sink and pulled off his wig and started to clean his

face.

"Oh my gosh!"

"What?"

"Your clothes are missing."

"You're kidding."

"No.  Someone must have stolen them."

Lee looked into the mirror and resigned himself to putting the wig

and make up back on.

"I have an idea, sweetheart.  Stay here and I'll go into that little

store I saw across the street.  I'm sure I can find something for you

to wear more manly."

Lee kissed Amanda.  "Thank you.  But please hurry."

"I will why don't you go into one of the stalls and wait for me."

As soon as Lee slid the lock on the bathroom stall door, he heard

the outer door open, he knew it couldn't be Amanda so he pulled his

legs up and just crouched on the seat. He heard voices speaking very

low. What surprised him was that one of the voices, sounded

distinctly male. Now what is a man doing in the ladies room, he

wondered before the absurdity of his situation reminded him that he,

himself was in the ladies room, and that regardless of how he was

currently dress, he was most definitely- still a man.

His attention was soon drawn from his current predicament, by the

sounds coming from the stall two doors down from his. The woman was

being quite vocal now; "Ooh baby" and "harder, big daddy" seemed to

reverberate off the wall.  The man panted, "you know I just love

watching me screw you in a mirror". Great thought Lee, Instead of

being on my honeymoon, here I am trapped in the ladies room, dressed

as a woman, while some other guy gets his rocks off.

Meanwhile Amanda was entering the establishment across the street

that promised `unique' fashions for the discerning gentleman. She

looked around from where she stood near the entrance and realized

this wasn't your average clothing store. Her first clue was the

display with a pair of leather pants with the butt cut out.

She bit her lip and trudged on into the aisles of clothes.  There wasn't time to go anywhere else.

First she went and found a pair of underwear.  Now these she could have some fun with, she fingered the snaps on the sides of the black thong.  On one of the racks she found a black tuxedo and accessories, it'd have to do.  At least the thief didn't get Lee's shoes, it didn't look like they carried any in this store.

Back across the street she entered the restroom and she didn't see him.  He wouldn't have left?  Would he?

"Lee are you in here?"

The door to a stall opened and she saw her husband sitting on the back of the commode his feet resting on the bowl.

"What are you doing?"  She laughed.

"I had to hide from an amorous couple who decided they had to make out in here."  He told her as he got off the toilet and pulled her close to him.  "All I could think of when I heard them was wanting to make love to you.  My penis hurts being confined in this damn girdle."  He rubbed himself.  "I have a huge hard on, but you couldn't tell it by looking."

Amanda turned and closed the door to the stall.  The doors to them went to the floor and no one could tell how many people were inside.  "I'll just have to take care of it.  Won't I."  She winked and licked her lips.

Lee didn't answer.  In a flash he had the gown, hose and girdle off.  His cock springing to attention.

Amanda knelt down and engulfed him.  In the back of her mind she knew they didn't have time for this, so she brought him to orgasm quick by deep throating him and squeezing his balls.

Finished she stood up and handed him the bag of clothing.

"No, your turn."  He winked.

"We don't have time."

"Not for everything, but we do have time for this."  His lips captured hers in a hungry kiss as his hand slid her dress up and he fingered her clit until she came.

"Now get dressed please."  Amanda straightened her clothing.  "We need to find mother."

Lee opened the bag and pulled out the tuxedo pants.

"Why are the sides held together with Velcro?"

Amanda didn't hear him as she left the bathroom to talk to the hostess and see if her mother was there.

Coming back into the bathroom she found Lee looking sexy in the tuxedo.  He stood in front of a full-length mirror and caught her eye in the reflection.  "This is a stripper tux."

"I know, it's the only thing I could find.  It might come in handy considering where we have to go next."

Lee turned around.  "Where?"

"Le Bare."  Amanda handed him the note the hostess had given her.

After Amanda checked to make sure the coast was clear, she and Lee

made a hasty exit from the ladies room. They left the restaurant

unnoticed. Upon entering Le Bare, they tried to blend in to the

crowd but that was difficult to do with quite a few of the patrons

eyeing Lee as though he was the last pair of shoes at an eighty

percent off sale. Amanda took her husband's hand and led him to a

corner table across the room near the front of the stage. They

clandestinely scoped out the room for Dotty, while trying to decide

on the best course of action that would allow them to search

backstage without getting caught. Normally Scarecrow would have just

slipped back there upon his arrival and trusted his `agent skills'

to allow him to go undetected, but in this case his mother-in-law's

life was on the line, so for once the handsome secret agent decided

to proceed with caution.

The problem of getting backstage was solved when Amanda picked up

the small placard on the table advertising tonight's entertainment

as amateur night. The ad promised lots of hot entertainment and a

chance for the ladies to choose Le Bare's next featured male Exotic

Dancer Extraordinaire. Amanda's mind had already formed a plan when

she showed the card to Lee. Stetson could practically see the wheels

turning in his wife's head and began to balk immediately. He had

already humiliated himself for Dotty's sake by putting on a dress,

but this was too much to ask. Lee knew he wasn't a prude; in fact he

enjoyed it when women admired his physical attributes, but he wasn't

an exhibitionist either. Stetson didn't mind, showing off what his

daddy gave him, to his lady loves in private, but he wasn't about to

take it all off, for a room, full of ogling, sex crazed women. He

would give his wife all the private strip shows her heart desired

but there was no way, no how, no shape, no form, no fashion, that he

was going to get up on that stage and shake his `booty' for all

these strange women. Lee told Amanda this, in a calm rational

manner, knowing his wife and partner would understand, and then they

could put that ideal behind them and come up with something more

feasible. Amanda gave him her full attention while he shared with

her his feelings about being a stripper. She told him that they

should just head backstage and things would fall into place. Lee was

inwardly cursing himself for being 10 kinds of a fool, for not

realizing Amanda never actually agreed to give up on her original

plan as waiting to make his stripper debut and heard the Announcer

introduce him by his `stage name'.

"And now Ladies for the first time live on stage.  It's 'Double

Ohhhhhh Seven' the spy who takes off his clothes."

Lee gulped.  Okay, I can do this.  I can do this.  He kept repeating

this mantra.  The hell I can he turned around and Amanda was nowhere

in sight.

The music started and he cringed.  Why did they have to play 'Secret

Agent Man?'

"Come on spy man.  You're up."

On a chair he spotted a black fedora and trench coat.  He put them on

and lowered the hat seductively over one eye.  The curtain opened and

he struck what he hoped was an appropriate pose.  His hand on the hat

brim, his eyes looking down at the floor.  He didn't want to look up,

he heard the women yelling and whistling.

He walked out on the stage and pretended he was hunting for something

trying to act non-chalant and mysterious.  In reality he looked for

Dotty but he couldn't see past the front row tables.  The lights

glared in his eyes.  He hoped Amanda had better luck.

"Come on spy man, take something off."

He opened the trench coat and let it slide off his shoulders slowly,

revealing the tuxedo underneath until it fell into a puddle on the

floor.

The music stopped and another song began to play.

The beat began to drum in his blood and he began to play to the

audience.  If he had to do this he was gonna give them a show they

wouldn't forget.

"I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love."

"Woo Hoo, take it all off."

Lee took his cummerbund off and threw it into the audience.

"More.  More."

"I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt."

With those words Lee undid the cuffs of his shirt and began to pull

it off his body showing the sex craved women his taut abs and chest. 

He strutted around making sure he stayed away from the edge of the

stage where several women had congregated wanting him to come

closer.  They kept flashing him money.

"And I'm too sexy for my hat."

Lee pulled the fedora off and threw it out into the back of the

audience.

"I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car."

He pretended to drive a car around the stage.

"Come on baby, mama wants to see some ass."

Lee licked his fingers, then ran his hand down his bare chest and

turned his back to the women.  Now he knew why the pants had Velcro

on the sides.

"I shake my little touché on the catwalk." 

He pulled on the pants and they come off all at once exposing his

bare ass to them.  He clenched his butt cheeks giving them a show.

He turned around and began strutting around the stage in nothing but

a g-string.

The women were in a sexual frenzy, waving money at him.

"Yee Haw."  A woman yelled over everyone else.  "Come to Rita."

Spying a familiar brunette he strutted to the edge of the stage where

she placed a ten-dollar bill in his g-string.  He leaned over to

whisper in her ear when he felt himself being pulled away.

Hands were everywhere. His chest.  His back.  His legs.  His ass. 

Someone even tried to grab his cock.

When he finally extradited himself from their grasp he turned to

leave the stage and he saw another familiar face.

Mrs. Marston what the hell was she doing here?  Shit and she has a

video camera.  Did she wink at me?  Damn it, I'm going to have to get

that tape from her.

He tried to leave the stage when he felt someone pulling him back out

into the throng of women.

"What in the name of all that's holy are you doing here?" 

Lee turned toward the woman who was dragging him backstage.

She finally pulled them into a back office and turned so that he

could see who it was.

Dotty.

"Can't a mother have any fun around here with out you and Amanda

butting in?"

"Dotty, we thought . . ." 

"You two were supposed to be on your honeymoon, and with the boys at

Joes, Marge and I decided to go out on the town and have some fun. 

Why did you have to come spoil all our fun?"  Dotty looked down at

his outfit, or lack there of.  "Well, maybe not all the fun."

Lee looked around the room for something to cover himself with.  The

only thing he could find was a blueprint.  Holding it in front of

his crotch he realized what it was.  He pulled it back away from his

body and spread it out on the desk.

"I've got to find Amanda!"

"What are you talking about?"

"These are blueprints to the White House.  What would they be doing

here?"

The door burst open and Dimitri Vandovinski walked in, holding a gun

to Amanda.  "They're mine." 

Dimitri pushed Amanda into the room and shut the door, locking

it.  "Don't you like my hideout?  Who would think to look at a place

like this for a Russian terrorist?"

Lee muttered under his breath, "My mother-in-law."  Which elicited

an elbow to the gut from his wife.

Dimitri looked at his watch then motioned for them all to sit in the

straight-backed wooden chairs at the other end of the room.  "It's

almost time for my plan to begin.  Now that I have the mighty

Scarecrow here.  There will be no one to get in my way."

"You won't get away with this!"  Dotty yelled as she was tied to her

chair.

"You don't think so?  I disagree."  He smiled at Dotty and patted

her on the top of her head.  "You have been so much help my dear. 

It was easy to figure out who your daughter and son-on-law really

were once you hired my brother to investigate them.  Then getting

someone to imitate your voice and call, interrupting their honeymoon

and getting you all here as my prisoners, it was all so easy."

In typical bad guy fashion, before he left, he told them what his

evil plot was. 

Blow up the White House.

Lee wracked his brain trying to think of a way out.  There he was,

in a g-string, tied to a chair between his wife and mother-in-law.

Amanda tried to reassure her mother with words of comfort. "Don't

worry mother we will find a way to get out of this".

Dotty's came back with a witty rejoinder. "Oh my darlings, there is

no way I am going to die and miss the explanation of why Lee was up

on that stage, with only a g-string on and his cute little dimpled

backside hanging out.

Lee was thoroughly embarrassed now and had begun to blush at his

mother-in-law's comment. Hearing Dotty's next remark, "You know

Amanda, after seeing so much of Lee on stage, I realize that I was

wrong in my estimation of him before. An 11 is a severe underrating.

It amazes me darling that you resisted his charms…" she said giving

Lee's semi-naked body a quick once over, "as long as you did." You

know if you hadn't met him first…"

"Mother" Amanda interjected her face portraying a shocked look of

embarrassment.

"Just kidding sweethearts," Dotty reassured them. Since you

interrupted my night of fun out with the ladies, I thought I'd have

a little fun with you.

"Dotty," Lee said in frustrated impatience, "There is a terrorist

holding us hostage at gunpoint and planning to blow up the white

house. Now is not exactly the time for fun and games.

Dimirti who had silently reentered the room decided to rebuke

Scarecrow. "You should apologize to Mrs. West. That is the trouble

with you Americans, you have no respect. To speak so to such a

wonderful woman, shows what a capitalist cur you really are

Stetson." Dimitri walked over to Dotty and gently touched her face,

saying, "It is a shame dear lady that you have to be related to

these two. If not for them I would take you with me after I disposed

of them and treat you like a Czarina"

Dotty drew back from his touch as much as possible but with her

being bound to the chair there was nowhere for her to go.

"Don't touch her," "Take your filthy hands off her," shouted Amanda

and Lee, respectively  .

"And just what is it the two of you think you can do if I don't?"

Dimitri challenged them.

Before either Lee or Amanda could respond, the door to the room came

crashing open. The room   filled to capacity with women demanding

that Double Ohhhhhhhhhhh Seven come back on stage and finish his

act. Lee knew he should have been surprised but somehow he wasn't

that Mrs. Marston was leading the charge.

Lee struggled in his restraints but the only thing he could do was watch as Mrs. Marston and the group of frenzied women pummeled Dimitri.

After Dimitri was sufficiently bound and gagged Lee noticed Billy standing in the doorway smirking.  "Thank you, ladies.  We'll take it from here."

"We want 'Double Ohhhhhh Seven.'"

"Sorry he's officially retired," Lee said as Billy untied him.  He continued to sit in the chair, he hands covering his genitals.

Dotty stood up and stretched.  "Come on, girls.  There are plenty of other acts to see.  Let's have some fun."

Before leaving the room Dotty turned around and pointed at Lee and Amanda.  "Now you two get back to honeymooning.  I'm going to go out and look at some gorgeous hunks and hope I get lucky."  She waved a bunch of dollar bills in her hand.

Lee saw Amanda open her mouth to speak and close it again, then she smiled at the retreating figure of her mother.  Dotty never ceased to amaze him.

Their dire situation reared its ugly head.  "Billy, we got to get to the White House.  There's a bomb."

"No we don't, Scarecrow.  That's why I'm here.  We captured Dimitri's accomplices before they could get the bomb in place and they told us where to find him."

Agents took a defeated Dimitri out of the room in handcuffs.

"When do we have to report for debriefing?"  Lee asked not looking forward to it at all.  He didn't want to be reminded he'd worn a dress and done a strip tease.

"You can wait until after your honeymoon.  We have enough witnesses to talk to and it'll take time getting all their reports.  Which I need to coordinate, so I'll see you two on Monday."

"Thank you, sir."  Amanda replied.  "I'm going to see about finding you some clothes so we can get out of here."  Amanda leaned down and kissed him.  When she opened the door Lee saw Mrs. Marston standing there her hand raised to knock. 

"I found you some real clothes, Scarecrow.  I have a friend who's one of the headliners here and he's about your size.  I borrowed them from him."  She handed him a pair of jeans and shirt.

"Thanks," he said still sitting in the chair.  "Um, Mrs. Marston?"

"Yes."

"I noticed you had a video camera.  What do you plan to do with the tape?"

"Oh that, sorry, Scarecrow, they confiscated it as evidence."

Lee groaned and shook his head.

"I also heard they commandeered the footage shot at La Cage or No.  Your friend, Augie, is on his way to debriefing with the film.  My friend is next on stage, bye."

"What am I going to do?"  Lee stood up and started pacing the room.

"First, you're going to get dressed.  But leave the g-string on."  Amanda patted his bare ass.  "Then we're going back to the hotel to continue our honeymoon.  Even though we couldn't get enough time to go away until next month we still have the rest of the weekend left, and I want to spend it in bed with you.  And as far as the rest is concerned, we'll deal with it later."  Her hand moved to his cock and she ran her fingers up and down it.

Lee dressed faster then he had ever before.  The shirt he left unbuttoned and he grabbed her hand.  "To the hotel!"

They entered the crowded elevator and Lee pushed the button to their floor.  At least Amanda thought he had.  When it stopped on the fifth floor she began to leave, but Lee grabbed her arm and pulled her back inside.

“This isn’t our floor.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Trust me it’s not.”

“Lee Stetson, what have you done?”

Lee shook his head and mouthed.  “Not here.”

Amanda looked at the young couple still in the elevator with them.  Whatever he had done she’d have to wait until they were alone to find out.  “Silly me, I forgot where our room was.”  She smiled at them.

The couple smiled back.

The elevator dinged and the door opened.  Lee placed his hand on the small of her back and led her down the hallway.

The empty corridor loomed ahead and she saw her chance to interrogate her husband.  “When did you change our room?”

“Do you remember when I said I had to use the restroom at LeBare before we left?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t, I used the phone to change our rooms.  I don’t want any more interruptions for the rest of our honeymoon.”

“What about our things?”

“The hotel staff switched everything.  Here we are.” 

He stopped in front of a door that had a huge gold heart plaque on it that read “Honeymoon Suite.”

“I thought the honeymoon suite wasn’t available?”

“The previous guests checked out this morning.  Tonight it’s all ours.”  He unlocked the door and pushed it open.

Amanda moved to step inside.

“Not so fast, Mrs. Stetson.”

Lee picked her up in his arms and carried her across the threshold into the suite, kicking the door shut behind him with his foot.

Standing in the room with Amanda still in his arms, they took in the décor.  A round bed covered in red silk covers highlighted the room and when she looked up she saw their reflection in the mirrored ceiling.  “Wow!”  She wrapped her hands around his neck and pressed her lips to his.

He kissed the pulsing hollow of her throat.  She pulled away and placed her hand on his chest.  “Put me down.  I want to change.”

“Do I have to?  I’d rather undress you.”

“I’ll make it worth your while.”  She nibbled his earlobe.

“Okay,” he groaned.  “But don’t take long.”

Finding what she needed she went into the bathroom.  Turning the light on she stared at the heart shaped bathtub large enough for two.  They’d have to make use of it later.

When she came out she saw Lee with his back opening a bottle of champagne.

“I’m ready.”  She touched his shoulder. 

He turned around and devoured her with his eyes that darkened with passion.  The saleslady had been right, this red baby doll did drive men wild with lust.  The cork popped and he scrambled to fill their glasses.

“Sit.”  He handed her a glass.  “I thought I’d give you a surprise.”

“You don’t have to do anything for me, sweetheart.”

“Yes, I do.  Since you didn’t see all of my performance at the club.  I thought I’d give you a private showing.”

Amanda didn’t want to tell him she had seen ‘all’ of his act.  If he wanted to do a private strip for her she’d let him.  After all, it’d be more fun with only two.

She raised her glass.  “Take it off, Double Ohhhhhh Seven.”

Lee began to sway his hips back and forth.  The shirt he tore off and threw to the floor.  Next his fingers slowly ran along the waistband of the jeans, then to the front lingering at the zipper.  He ran his hand down his crotch.

Amanda’s breathing increased.  She wanted to rip his clothes off and release his imprisoned cock.  “Show it to me, baby.”

“Not so fast, hot mama.”  He turned around and began to lower the jeans.

She groaned when he teased her by pulling the jeans back up, then back down again. 

A whistle escaped her lips as he let the jeans fall to the floor and flexed his ass muscles.  Having him keep the g-string had been inspiration.  When he turned around his cock stood proud and erect in the black cloth.

Teasing her he moved closer and closer to where she sat on the edge of the bed.  Coming almost to within her reach then backing up, when she tried to touch him with her hands and shaking his finger at her.  “Not yet.”

The next time he came close she had a plan of action.  One good thing about stripper g-strings, they were flimsy.  When he began to turn she reached out and grabbed the g-string and ripped it off his body.

“The show’s over, spy stripper.  I want action.”  She knelt down in front of him and began to take his cock into her mouth.

“And action you shall get.”  He lifted her up, kissed her passionately and took off the baby doll.  Then he pushed her down on the bed.  “Close your eyes.”

Knowing whatever he had in mind would be wildly erotic she closed her eyes waiting for the sensations only he could instill in her.  He pulled her forward so she lie with her legs hanging over the edge of the bed.  When she heard a buzzing sound she opened her eyes.  Looking up at the mirrored ceiling she saw her husband between her legs with the vibrator Paul had sent.

Their reflection mesmerized her and she watched as he parted her legs and spread her outer lips exposing her throbbing clitoris to both their view.

She placed her hand over her crotch.  “You aren’t going to put that in me.  It’s huge.”

Lee stood up.  “Look.”  He turned the vibrator off and held it next to his cock.  “It isn’t any bigger then I am.”

Seeing it compared to her husband she realized it wasn’t.  “Oh yeah, it isn’t.  I guess I’m still not used to how huge you are.”

“Play time.”  He turned the vibrator back on and knelt between her legs.

She gasped when he touched the vibrator to her mound.  Even without direct stimulation to her clitoris she could feel the vibrations against it.  He moved it over her stomach to her breasts and around her nipples sending tingling sensations down her spine.

His lips followed the path of the vibrator and she watched as his tongue swirled around her nipple before suckling it.  The toy traveled down her to the vee of her legs and she opened them wider giving it access to her core.

Her heartbeat increased as he moved it from her clit to her vagina, the vibrations drove her wild.  Just as she thought she would go over the edge he’d change the location, letting her passion abate then build again.  Then she felt his lips on her clit and the vibrator being inserted into her wet core.  Waves of vibration coursed through her body and she squirmed on the bed bucking her hips.  Spasms of pleasure rocked her body and she screamed his name as she orgasmed.

Opening her eyes she saw Lee grinning at her.  “Your turn.”

They switched places and she now knelt between his legs.  She wrapped her hand around his cock, lowered her lips to the head and began to swirl her tongue around.

When she moved her knee hit the vibrator on the floor and she picked it up with her free hand.  Turning it on she felt the vibrations in her hand.  If it could drive her wild what could it do to her husband if he felt it vibrate against his cock?  Moving her lips lower she gently began to suck on his balls.  As she played with them she placed the vibrator against his shaft.

Lee groaned and she looked up into the mirror and saw the expression on his face.  Pure ecstasy.

Moving the vibrator she ran it along to the tip and back down the other side of his cock, her tongue following its path.  When she reached the tip she engulfed him in her mouth and placed the vibrator under his balls.  Within seconds his cock spasmed and he exploded.

Turning off the vibrator she laid down next to him, her head on his chest and she listened as his heartbeat slowed back to a normal rhythm.  A hand on her breast awakened her.  She must’ve fallen asleep.  Opening her eyes she saw his cock ready for more action.  “I see it’s time to play some more.”

Lee rolled her onto her back.  “I can’t get enough of you.”  His lips captured hers and he entered her at the same time.  She arched her body into his and he thrust deeper with each stroke.  They changed positions without breaking contact so Lee now knelt on the bed her legs locked around his waist.  He placed his hands under her hips to help guide her onto his cock.

Amanda looked up into the mirror and watched as he penetrated her, fully coming out of her then thrusting hard back into her vagina.  At this angle Lee hit the spot deep within that drove her wild and she felt herself spasm around his cock as another orgasm overtook her.

Lee stiffened and she felt his hot come deep inside her as his own orgasm wracked his body.

Both drained they drifted off to sleep.  Amanda woke up and went into the bathroom.  The heart shaped bathtub seemed to call to her.  She started the water, added scented bubble bath and went back out into the bedroom to ask her husband to join her.

The bed was empty. Looking around the room she saw the curtains
billowing in the breeze from the balcony. Stepping outside she saw
her husband, in all his glory, staring up at the stars.

He turned and smiled at her as she walked beside him.

"I wondered where you went."

"Sorry, I noticed we had a balcony and thought I'd come out for a
little fresh air."

The balcony was large and private. A stone wall bordered one side,
while a vine covered trellis blocked the view from the other. The
stone railing that overlooked the gardens was cool to the touch.

The moon shone on his smooth chest. She couldn't help herself she
had to touch it. Wrapping her arms around his waist she lifted her
lips to join his. Every kiss they'd ever had seemed magical, and
better than the one before. She couldn't believe that the touch of a
man's lips could make her body tingle like this.

His arms wrapped themselves around her body, pulling her deeper into
the kiss.

She felt him pull away and turn her toward the railing. Stepping
behind her he kissed her neck.

"Look at the horizon." He whispered.

His hands circled her waist and skimmed her stomach on their way to
her breasts.

"It's starting to get lighter."

She leaned back against him, feeling his erection against her back.
Closing her eyes she savored the touch of his hands. While one hand
tweaked at her nipple the other moved, agonizingly slowly down her
abdomen and tickled into her hair. His finger dipped inside her then
twirled around her clit.

"And you're wet."

She grasped the railing in front of her, arching her back.

His hand left her breast, cool air taking the place of his warmth.
She felt a gentle nudge between her legs as he placed his hand on her
back and guided her to lean over. Spreading her legs she felt his
penis skim down her back and slide between her legs.

With one hand still caressing her clit, the other guided his member
where she wanted it to be, deep inside.

She lifted her upper body slightly on her arms. His next thrust sent
a shock through her body as he hit her g spot.

With each thrust she felt the pressure building deep inside her as if
she were a volcano ready to erupt.

"Look, the sun's coming-"

"So am I!"

As the sun's rays broke over the horizon lighting the sky, she felt
Lee grab her hips and push himself deep inside her. Her muscles
contracted around him as he emptied himself in her.

Relaxing down onto the railing she jumped as her boobs landed on the
cold stone rail.

"What's wrong?" Lee pulled her around to face him.

"Nothing, the railing was a little cold on my chest."

He leaned down and kissed one nipple, "We'd better do something about
that." Then the other.

"What did you have in mind?" She ran her fingers through his hair.

"Did I hear you drawing a bath?"

She nodded

"Well, I think a nice hot bath between two very horny lovers is just
the right thing."

Taking his hand she pulled him through the door and toward the
bathroom. "I like the way you think."

Lee grabbed a bottle of champagne and two glasses as Amanda drug him
into the bathroom

The lights were dim and a light raspberry scent filled the air. He
poured as Amanda stepped into the tub and lowered herself. Leaning
back the bubbles floated around her, only the swell of her breast was
visible.

Handing her a glass, he sat across from her.

As soon as the bubbles settled around him, he felt her toes inch
their way up his leg.

Even her toes were talented.

Leaning his head back and closing his eyes, his senses became more in
tune to the touch of her toes.

A delicate touch on his inner thigh made him catch his breath. Her
toes brushed between his testicles and his leg, causing the skin to
tighten and draw them up toward his body.

Suddenly the other foot was in on the action. One foot was caressing
his balls, while the other ran up and down his shaft.

He opened his eyes and she was staring at him. She licked her lips
then leaned forward, her nipples lifting above the waterline. Her
feet never missing a stroke, she began to kneed her breasts and tweak
her nipples.

His balls twitched as her toe slid down to the sensitive spot between
his balls and his butt. The view of her playing with herself wasn't
even enough to keep his eyes open, the feelings were too intense.

Then her touch was gone.

The water level rose then lowered again as she lowered her self back
into the water, and on his penis. In that position, he had no choice
but to allow her to take the lead, he couldn't move.

She slid up and down, her breasts splashing into the water with every
down stroke. Her hands clasped his and held them down on the side of
the tub as she worked him faster and harder.

Sweat poured down his face, not so much from the heat of the bath,
but the heat of their lovemaking. He was close, almost beyond the
point of stopping. Not that he'd want to stop.

Her muscles contracted around him, which was all it took to take him
over the edge. His heart felt like it would beat itself right out of
his chest, his knuckles he knew were white; every ounce of his blood
was pumping in his dick. His mouth was dry; every ounce of fluid was
being expelled elsewhere.

The next thing he knew Amanda was collapsed on top of him. Whoever
said that orgasm was like a little death was right. He'd died and
gone to heaven.

That's when he realized that he was in heaven; he was openly
married to Amanda. It had to be heaven. Nothing else could feel
this right, this perfect.

The ringing of a phone cut off his musing. Looking around he saw a
phone on the wall just within his reach. Who in the world puts a
phone in the bathroom?

"Yes?"

"This better be-"

He sat up in the tub, almost dumping Amanda in the water. "We'll be
right there."

Hanging up the phone, Lee reached for a towel.

"If that was the Agency, we're not going." Amanda sat back as he
stood and began to dry off.

"It was Billy, and if you don't want the videos of both the fashion
show and the strip club to be shown at the next staff meeting, we
have to get to Billy's office now. He got them out of evidence and
has them hidden in his office for us."

"Then we can wait until later can't we?" She pouted.

"Francine's trying to get a hold of them. Keeps trying to get Billy
out of his office."

Amanda stood and grabbed the other towel; stepped out and dried off
as she ran into the bedroom hunting for her clothes. "What are you
waiting for Stetson? We gotta get that tape!"

An hour later they were back in their hotel room snuggling on the bed
watching `Double Ohhhhhh Seven' perform.

When it was over Lee got up and took the tape out of the
machine. "Time to say goodbye." He went to the fireplace and stared
into the flames.

Just as he moved his arm to throw it in, Amanda grabbed his
hand. "No, I want to keep it."

"Why?"

"If you're away on assignment and I miss being next to your sexy
body, I can watch the tape and remind myself of the pleasure I'll
have when you return home. Now, I know why some people like to watch
porn. It can be an incredible turn on."

"This isn't porn."

"I know, but it's a close second."

"You know I have the video camera at the apartment. I think you'd
make a great co-star."

"No, I don't think my breasts are large enough. But you're definitely
hung like a porn star."

"You're breasts are perfect for me." He reached out and tweaked a
nipple.

"Let's go back to bed." She took the tape from him and led him
towards the bed, throwing the video into the open suitcase lying on
the floor, where it landed next to the tape of the fashion show.

The End