The Sweetest Sorrow

By: Emerald

Disclaimer: The characters are Rob's, the plot is mine, the frying pan is Minya's, and I'm dead broke so obviously I ain't making no money off of this. Although I should be, I don't have them kinda connections.

Keris grabbed hold of the tiny rock projecting out of the mountain. She placed her foot inside of a hole, and pushed up. Rock by rock and foothole by foothole, Keris eventually reached the top. She brushed the soil and dust off of her suede pants and wiped her hands. She tightened her top a little bit tighter, revealing more cleavage. She noted the cave entrance and walked through. She lit a torch hanging on the wall, as she walked down the endless pathway. She saw another entrance into the wall, and decided to venture off into that part, wondering what she could possibly find that was so well hidden.

~

It wasn't much. A bath and a few clay pots. She knew some sort of life was here, considering there was a bath with warm water inside of it.

"Hello?" She called into the cave. It echoed. Keris frowned. She was supposed to find Ares here, somewhere. Anywhere. At least that's what Liam said. And she believed Liam, of course. Liam was Ares' nephew. Liam would know. But still, Keris couldn't help wondering if she should've asked Liam's mother, first. Maybe Aphrodite would've had the correct information. She called again, "Hey, uh...yo, man, show yourself!" Half of her wanted to go home, and relax. To just sit on her cozy makeshift couch with her warm fireplace and sleep. But the other half wanted to stay and wait for anyone to show up. After all, she didn't climb up a gigantic mountain for a twenty-minute exploration of a bathroom, did she? No, forget that! She was going to stay. She mounted the torch onto the wall and sat up against the wall, hugging her knees. She waited, and waited, and waited for something that never came. Finally, she heard a distant laugh. It was a male voice, and Keris prayed to whomever listened that it would be Ares.

"Yeah, it's me, sweetheart." She still couldn't see him, but she knew he was there. She heard his footsteps.

"Ares?" She asked, knowing already.

"No. Hermes." He chuckled. "Of course it's me, you silly thing." He materialized directly in front of her.

Keris blinked. "Hello," she said calmly.

"Hey cutie."

"Cutie? First of all, you're the God of War. You aren't supposed to be talking like that. Secondly, why are you flirting in the first place? Didn't you just get out of a really bad relationship or something?"

Ares took two steps back, arching a brow and looking over Keris. "And who might you be to know so much of the God of War?"

"Everyone knows, dude."

"Dude?"

"Yeah, dude. Come on, get with the street lingo."

"Right."

Keris smiled.

"And how does everyone know about me?"

"You're a god. You have no private life."

"Um..."

"Speechless, aren't you? Well, I should give the people of Greece less credit. I'm friends with Gabrielle. And Xena. But more Gabrielle. And she told me everything that happened. She also gave me this," Keris reached into her pouch and pulled out a yellow box. "You aren't supposed to open it yet, though. Wait until the full moon, I think she said. Well anyway, she's staying with me and told me to go find you. I didn't know where to start but I sure was determined, considering Gabby's my best friend and my favorite uncle's daughter, and I guess even though she's 15 years older than me, she depends on me. So I went to the only person I knew that might be able to find you. They call him Liam and his mom is Aphrodite. But he lives near me in Piraevs, because he doesn't like to acknowledge his demigodness. But he told me where I might find you. Luckily, he was right and here we are."

"Well, you sure do talk like the bard."

"The bard? Look, she's your ex, and I know you gotta be heartbroken. I'll tell you, she sure is."

"She is?"

"Yeah, buddy. She really is."

"I didn't know that. I mean, she left me, you know? I thought she'd be happier that way."

"No. She'd be happier if you were mortal. You know that's the only reason she left. She couldn't be with someone who she had been fighting so hard against for so long."

"Right." Ares blinked.

Keris smiled sympathetically and patted Ares's back. "Look, I gotta get going. You think you could send me home or something so I don't have to walk all the way back down this huge mountain?"

"Sure thing, kid." Ares took her by the hand and before she could finish closing her eyes they were in Piraevs.

"Well I meant me, not you." Keris said.

"I know. Where's Gabrielle?"

"Uh, she's in my house, I guess, if she didn't go shopping or something."

Ares asked, "Where's your house?"

"Over there." Keris pointed, Ares nodded and then fled.

She looked at him, a god, running. "Weirdo." She followed him. "He could've ran with me, stupid. I could have run home, too. Jeez,"

~

"I'm so sick of this! Oh, my gods, I'm going to throw up. I'm going to die. Die. Me. Now. Kill me! Oh, gods, I'm going to vomit. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna puke and die."

"Gabrielle, calm down. It's going to be alright," Xena coaxed.

"Yo, Xe, I ain't playing this no more. I'm so sick. I swear, he's mentally killing me."

"Yo, Gabs, you're beginning to sound like Keris."

"I know! Oh, can this be worse?"

"Yes, it can. So stop flipping out."

"I'm not flipping out."

"No, of course not."

"I'm freaking out!"

"Yeah, okay, I'll give you that."

"I mean, Xena, put yourself in my position, alright?"

"I'd rather not."

"You're in love. In absolute love with the man of your dreams. He gets some major attitude problems and becomes way self-centered. Pretty soon, the relationship becomes all about sex."

"You had sex with him?"

"And on top of that - "

"Oh gods, please don't get graphic..."

" - he's a control freak! He's crazy jealous and doesn't let you have your own life anymore. So you write some sappy letters and leave his sorry ass."

"Girl power!"

"But I miss his sorry ass!"

"When did this become about you?"

"Xena, you're not helping."

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you ask for my help? No, you ran into my room and pulled me into the basement when you saw your crazy psycho-ex running down the block."

"Well, why do you think I pulled you down here? I could've gone by myself, y'know..."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm just agitated because I think you're being sucked into way too many emotional cycles. With moving into your annoying cousin's place, to breaking up with Ares, to wanting him back...It's rough, I know. I just, well, miss you for Gabrielle. Not this new girl. And by that, I mean, really...girl. You used to be this really cool, adventurous, spunky blonde, who gutted fish every night. Now, you've got a house, an extended family, boyfriends and breakups, long hair, nice sheets. I mean, it just adds to the stereotypical teenage girl front you're putting on and I don't like it."

"Teenage? Xena, I'm like, fifty-something."

"You're immortal. You can be whatever age you like."

"Still, but I know what you mean. I just can't help it, Xena!"

"I think you're jealous." Said Aphrodite, appearing out of nowhere, to Xena. Xena chuckled.

"Yeah, right."

"No, Xe, really. Suddenly, it does become all about Gabbykins! She's got the guys trailing her cute butt, and you've got to share a room inside the house of someone you don't know."

"Okay, so what? I haven't dated since...Ulysses! Or Rafe. I'm okay with that."

"No, you're not. Why are you so upset about Gabs dating, then?"

"Not just her dating, her dating Ares."

"Of course. Well, Gab, he's upstairs looking for you. He called me to find you. Here you are. Either you go up there and put my big bro at ease, or I tell him you're hiding. I know you still love him."

"He's up there? Really? Oh, Xena, Ares is looking for me. Isn't that sweet?"

"Not really," Xena sat down on a beat up chair and juggled a dusty pot in her hands. "G'head, meet up with your long lost lover."

Gabrielle ran up the stairs, forgetting why he ever even hid. Aphrodite materialized a red loveseat and sat down. "Aw, Xenies, it'll all be okay. We'll find you the perfect guy."

"I don't want the perfect guy. I don't want a guy!"

"You want Ares."

"Ah, hell no. Not him. Not anymore. He's obsessed with her,"

"Xena, it kills me to see you like this."

"Why? Since when has Aphrodite cared about me?"

"Since you saved my life."

"Oh, that thing with Caligula? It was nothing."

"Not just Caligula. Many times. The things you've done for me, I am forever indebted. But I'm indebted to Gabby, too. And her favor is alot easier than yours. I bet you they'll get back together. They're meant for each other. Opposites attract, and they are opposites."

"Okay. I believe that. I seriously do. But what about me? I feel...like a grandmother."

"But you're barely a mother. Gabrielle's the grandmother."

"I know, with her little Destroyer. Which reminds me, how could she even look at Ares in that way? He's the father of her daughter's baby!"

"Talk about Young and the Restless."

"Huh?"

"Future crap. Look, Xena, you'll find your calling. Why don't you go go back on the road?"

"Without her?"

"Wow, you've grown attached. What about both of them?"

"On the road with Gabrielle and Ares? Are you a total psycho?"

"Sometimes. Okay, it was just a thought. Something will happen for you, I know it. You're immortal. Enjoy your eternal life, cutie pie. You'll make it."

"But will they?"

"I don't know," Said Dite. "I should go check."

"I'm gonna go see how Argo II's doing. Tell Gabrielle I'll see her later."

Aphrodite looked at Xena as if she knew Xena wasn't done with her sentence.

"with her boyfriend...and we'll pack our things and head out."

Aphrodite's ringing giggles filled the air ads she vanished.

The End