Being Mortal

By Sara

Warnings: A little bit of violence, nothing graphic

Gabrielle was sitting on a log staring at her blank scroll pondering how she should start this. This is going to be her biggest story ever; she is going to write about the Twilight of the Gods and Xena’s role in it, but she doesn’t know where to start. She’s still sitting musing over the events since Eve’s birth when all of a sudden in a flash of bright light, a somewhat disheveled Aphrodite appeared.

Gabrielle put down her scroll and stood up, "Aphrodite, what are you doing here?"

Aphrodite looked around and said nervously, "Xena, where is Xena?"

"She and Eve went home for a visit." Gabrielle laughed softly, "after all, twenty-five years is a long time to go without seeing your family."

"What am I going to do? I need to talk to her." Aphrodite was practically falling apart.

"What’s wrong?" Gabrielle took hold of her hand and gently guided her to the log.

Aphrodite sat down and put her hands over her face, tears started to run swiftly down her face. "It’s Ares. Someone needs to help him." She grabbed hold of Gabrielle’s hand and sobbed, "I’ve already lost my entire family; he’s the only one left. I can’t lose him too, Gabrielle."

"Slow down. What’s been happening with Ares?"

"Ever since it became known that he has lost his immortality, people have been looking for revenge everywhere he went. He’s not even putting up a fight any more; it’s like he has lost all hopes. I need to find Xena, he’ll listen to her."

"All right Aphrodite, why don’t you take us to Amphipolis and I’ll help you locate Xena. I’m sure she will help him since he did save her daughter."

"I can’t take you to Amphipolis. My powers are too weak. I have trouble just getting myself here." Aphrodite said tearfully.

"Your powers…okay, then why don’t you just wait for me here, and I’ll go get Xena, It’ll take a couple of days, but I promise I’ll be as quick as I can." Gabrielle smiled reassuringly at the goddess. Despite Aphrodite’s often-frivolous behaviors and miscast spells, Gabrielle had always felt a connection with her.

"Ares doesn’t have a couple of days. I’ve helped him fend off some of the town folks, but I know there are more on the way." Aphrodite stood up and said urgently, "Gabrielle please, will you go help him? I’ll go find Xena and ask her to come, but I need you to keep him safe until we come back."

"Me? What makes you think that he would ever listens to me?"

"If you go to him, he’ll know that Xena won’t be far behind."

"I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I don’t think he would want me to see him if he’s as weak as you say." Gabrielle said without real conviction.

"Who cares what he thinks? How could you say no? He saved your life!" Aphrodite said indignantly.

"He saved me and Eve so that he could save Xena. I don’t think saving me was in his plan."

"What has happened to you? He didn’t need to save you. All he needed to do was to save Eve if his only intent was saving Xena. You owe him your life and don’t you ever forget it." Aphrodite sounded so upset that Gabrielle began to feel ashamed.

"You’re right. I’m sorry Aphrodite; I do owe him. Okay, you go to Amphipolis and look for Xena. I promise I’ll do my best to keep him alive."

"Thank you Gabrielle." Aphrodite hugged her tightly. "Take him to my temple at the edge of town. There’s a secret passage way to the back. He will be safe there."

"Why didn’t you take him there?" Gabrielle asked with a puzzled frown on her face.

"He refused to go with me. He’s so stubborn; he just wouldn’t listen to me. I can’t make him do anything. I left him at the Town Square. He might be in trouble again. Please Gabrielle whatever you do, keep him safe." Aphrodite disappeared.

Gabrielle sighed and started off toward the center of town.

Gabrielle was wondering how she was going to find Ares when she noticed the commotion in front of the tavern. She stood on her tiptoes and realized she had found what she was looking for. Ares was hunched back on the steps of the tavern, and a group of men were poking at him with various weapons.

Gabrielle stepped forward, "hello, would you nice gentlemen mind moving aside for just a minute. I need to speak with my friend there for a second."

"Do you want to beat him up too? Here, take my sword." One man handed her his somewhat ancient looking sword.

"No thank you." Gabrielle said sweetly, "I think you guys have done enough to him already. Why don’t I just take him away and then we will all be happy."

"Take him away? Don’t you know who this is?"

On hearing her voice, Ares opened his eyes and gave her a disoriented look; "go away Gabrielle."

Gabrielle turned to look at him and gasped. Gone was the fearsome looking God of War, and in its place was a down trodden man that looked already half-dead. Gabrielle looked at the swollen lips and black eyes and then finally realized why Aphrodite was so concerned.

"Look, just let me take him away, and I promise he won’t be bothering anybody anymore." Gabrielle turned back to the crowd.

"We are far from done with him. We don’t want to hurt you little girl, so why don’t you just stay out of this."

"Be smart for once Gabrielle and leave." Ares muttered from the ground.

"I can’t. I’ve made a promise to your sister, and I’m going to keep it." Gabrielle took a step closer to Ares and put herself in between him and the crowd.

"If you are with him, then you deserve everything that you get." One of man shouted at her and swung his sword at her.

Gabrielle quickly pulled out her sais and easily disarmed him. She kicked him in the stomach and drove him back toward the crowd. A couple of other men quickly jumped in to take his place. She took care of them easily, but then the men kept on coming and Gabrielle felt totally outnumbered. She managed to hold her own for a while, but when she risked a precious moment and turned to make sure Ares was okay, the momentarily lost of concentration caused her dearly, and she got knocked off her feet in that split second. She rolled over and quickly got back on her feet, but before she could pick up her sais, she saw the swing of the sword and knew she wasn’t going to be quick enough. She started to duck but felt herself pushed out of the way instead; she turned and saw Ares had somehow managed to pull himself up and blocked the downward swung of the sword with one of her sais. He back handed the man and knocked him to the ground. He tossed her the sais, "go on, get out of here."

"Not without you." Gabrielle grabbed hold of his hand and told him firmly. She then kicked over one of the wagons, which startled the horses and enabled them to run off during the confusion.

"I know where we are going, so for once, just don’ t argue, please." Gabrielle pulled Ares behind her and started off running. Ares kept up with her for a while, but then he slummed forward and fell. With all her strength, Gabrielle managed to pull him back up and dragged him the rest of the way to Aphrodite’s temple.

Once they were inside, "where is the secret passage way?" She asked Ares.

"It’s through the back of the altar." Ares gave her a blank look, "why did you help me?"

"You saved my life, I guess I owe you one." She said dispassionately.

"I really don’t feel much like living anymore, so why don’t you just leave me alone and let me die in peace?"

"Look Ares, Aphrodite had went to bring back Xena, I promised her that I will keep you safe until she returns. Just hang on okay, Xena will be here soon." With Ares leaning on her, she had to muster all her strength just to move a few steps.

By the time she managed to half pulled and half dragged him to the back room, she was out of breath and her shoulder was starting to hurt from the unaccustomed weight. She gently lowered him down on the bed and looked at his injuries. She sighed in relief when after some careful examination, she decided that he will live.

"You have a lot of cuts and bruises, but I think they are pretty superficial. You do have some nasty gashes that need cleaning." She looked around and walked over to get a bowl of water and some clean towels. She came back and sat down beside him. She carefully cleaned out his wounds. She noticed that although he didn’t say a word the whole time, he did wince occasionally. She gently touched the deep gash on his forehead, "I think this needs stitches." She rummaged through the medical kit and found what she was looking for. She carefully stitched up the cut and found some bandages to wrap it up for good measure.

"Well I think that takes care of it. You’re actually pretty lucky. There’s no serious injury on you." She said with a smile.

Ares looked at her and slowly shook his head; "you are so naïve!"

"What?"

He tried to sit up but failed and crashed back down with a groan.

"What is it?" She asked in alarm. When she noticed him placing a hand on his ribs, realization sank in. "Oh my gods, let me see." She gently pulled aside his black vest and saw to her horror the mess that was once his ribs. "I need to get you to a healer." She said unsteadily.

"No, they will be out there waiting for us. Look just bandage it up. It’s only cracked." He looked at her and pointed to the top of the mantle. "Just slap some of that salve on and wrap it up. I’ll be fine."

Gabrielle bit down hard on her lips but did as she was told. She had a hard time trying to support his weight while bandaging his ribs at the same time, but she managed somehow. When she was done, she gently laid him back down, "just try to get some sleep, right now you need rest more than anything."

"Thanks!" He said as exhaustion finally took its course and he fell into a deep slumber. Gabrielle sat there and watched him for a while, when she was sure that he was indeed asleep, she got up and walked to the back of the room. She found that it leads to an outside garden. She gathered some fruits off the fruit trees and brought in some fresh water from the well.

She went back inside and placed the items on the table. She then pulled a chair next to the bed and sat down. I’ll just sit here and keep an eye on him, she told herself. But soon her eyelids began to close, and before she knew it she was fast asleep.

The mumbling and thrashing woke her. Gabrielle jumped up and saw that Ares was thrashing about. Afraid that he would tear up his ribs in his frantic struggle, she quickly woke him. She helped him up to a sitting position and carefully checked on his ribs. Luckily she got him up before he was able to do any real damage. She walked over and brought him back a glass of water.

Ares stared at her for a moment, "why are doing this?"

"I owe you my life. I guess this is payback time." She shrugged.

"You know that I didn’t do it to save you."

"I know, but nevertheless, you did. In spite of your twisted reasons, I’m alive because of you, so I’m here." She said without expression.

He finished the water and handed her back the glass. "Do you want something to eat? I’m afraid all I could find were just fruits." She said apologetically.

"No, I think I’ll go back to sleep." He said tiredly.

She watched him for a while as he slept and felt a tug on her heart; this haggard looking Ares is a total stranger to her. She remembers the old Ares, the arrogant, sarcastic, manipulative, and sometimes loathsome Ares, and wished that he’s back instead of this skeleton of the former god.

Ares slept on while Gabrielle sat around watching him. She noticed the flush running along his cheek and sighed. He’s starting to burn with fever. She wished she could go get the healer but knew that it probably wasn’t the brightest idea under the circumstances. Despite feeling totally exhausted herself, she stayed up all night nursing his fever. When morning came she was a total wreck, but his fever came down and she was sure that he’d live, at least for now.

Ares finally woke up as the sun started to set. He opened his eyes and had trouble focusing. He looked around and finally remembered where he was. He searched the room for Gabrielle and his gaze finally settled on the exhausted figure at the foot the bed. She had sat with her arms wrapped around her knees, but now she’s asleep with her head leaning against the bedpost. Ares smiled; somehow it was comforting to have her there. He didn’t say anything but just watched her sleep. But as if she was aware of being watched, she opened her eyes.

She stared at him for a moment as if trying to recall why she was there. Finally, "how are you feeling?"

"Hurting and weak." He answered truthfully.

She placed her hand on his forehead, "at least your fever is gone. Let me get you some water." She walked over to the table and poured him a glass of water.

He took it and drank thirstily. He handed her back the empty glass with a mumbled word of thanks. She handed him some fruits and he ate them without really tasting them.

Afterwards she changed the dressing on his wounds and checked over his ribs carefully. "I think you’ll live."

"I guess I have you to thank for." He said with an ironic note in his voice that wasn’t lost on Gabrielle.

"Well, then enlighten me, tell me why you allow yourself to get to this stage?"

"I’ve lost my powers." He stated simply.

"Those men were only farmers, even I could have taken care of them. You don’t need your powers to handle that situation." She shook her head.

"I guess I just don’t care anymore."

"Why? Just because you are no longer a god or is it because your sacrifice did not bring you what you were hoping to get?"

"I presume we are talking about Xena?"

She nodded.

"Well, my ultimate sacrifice, what did I get for giving up my immortality?" He asked bitterly, "two words, Gabrielle, that’s what I got, ‘thank you’ two little words."

"You have her eternal gratitude Ares, she might not say more, but she appreciated it more than you can ever imagine. I don’t know if she will ever come to love you, but she certainly doesn’t hate you any more." She said quietly.

"Tell me Gabrielle, you are an expert on sacrifices." He saw her stiffened at his condescending tone. "Why is it that she grieves over your sacrifice, but not mine?"

"Because I asked for nothing in return." She said clearly and slowly as if she was explaining a complicated problem to a little child. "Everything that I did, I did out of friendship. I would give up my life for her any day, but I do not expect to benefit from it. I do not expect her to repay me for it. I do not expect her to feel in debted to me. I do not expect to guilt her into anything."

"I was not trying to guilt her." Ares said defensively. "I did not get myself into this mess just so she would feel sorry for me."

"Perhaps not consciously, but in the back of your mind, weren’t you hoping that she would feel sorry for you? Add to the fact that you saved her life and those that she loves, she might just take pity on you and stay with you?"

"Have you any idea how difficult it has been for me?" He demanded, "do you even realize what I have given up? Do you think for one second that I enjoy being like this?"

"I know what you have given up." She gently pushed him back down to a sitting position when he tried to get off the bed. "But you can’t make her love you just because it’s what you wanted. If that was the whole purpose of you giving up your immortality, then I’m afraid it was all for nothing. You can’t dictate to Xena; she’s her own person. If you want her love, then you need to earn it. Not through sacrifices, but through your heart."

"I’ve told her I love her. I’ve shown her in the only way I know how. What more does she expect of me?" He saw the compassion in her eyes, "do not feel sorry for me Gabrielle."

"I’m not, but I do feel empathy; that is allowed, isn’t it? After all, I’m just trying to understand." She pushed her hair off her face and asked the question that has been in her head ever since she saw him at the steps of the tavern, "do you really love her so much that you are willing to just give up your life?"

Ares sighed, "I don’t know what to do without my powers. Don’t you get it? I’m lost without them. I’ve been wandering around ever since wondering how am I going to survive this. I can’t deal with this. I can’t live the life of a mortal Gabrielle."

"Are you really such a coward?" She continued before he could voice his anger. "Have you just been hiding behind your godhood all this time?"

"What do you know about it? How dare you speak to me this way?"

"How dare I? Why should I be afraid of you? After all, according to you, you are nothing without your powers."

He looked at her in defeat and understood her motives. "I’m not a fighter like you Gabrielle. I don’t have your strength of will. I can’t cope out there."

"I agree that I don’t fully understand your loss, but I believe you can survive out there without your godly powers, why do you have so little faith in yourself?" Her voice took on a pleading note.

"My powers also represent my strength, my will, my endurance, and everything else that I know about. Without them, I am nothing."

"Is that what we are to you, nothing?" She said in disgust. "Is that why is was so easy for you to toy with us?"

"You don’t understand…" he stammered. "I was brought up to believe that I can live on forever, but this isn’t true anymore. 100 years is just the blink of an eye for a God, but now...I'm going to die Gabrielle, and in less time than just blinking my eyes. I never had to think about that before." He admitted in a low voice.

"I agree it’s a sobering thought, but we are all afraid to die Ares. I guess in comparison the life span of a mortal is indeed very short, but that’s why you got to seize the moment, learn to live and laugh and just enjoy life. Don’t dwell on what you have lost, but face reality and accept it. So you’ve lost your immortality and that’s a big loss, but life is still precious, and it’s still yours to live to the fullest extent possible." She stared at him without fear, not because he is no longer a God, but because she now understood his vulnerability.

"I don’t even know how to start." He leaned back against the pillow and stared out into nothing. "Remember that time when you stole my powers? Remember how helpless I was then? That’s how I am now, helpless, only now I know I will stay this way forever."

She smiled at him with genuine affection. "Being a mortal isn’t all that bad Ares, we can help you to adjust, but you cannot be suicidal; you must have the will to learn and to survive. I know it won’t be easy, but hey, you’re tough, right? Even without your God of War title, you are still pretty formidable. Remember that time when you showed me what it feels like to be a God? I guess now is my turn to show you what it feels like to be human."

"You are determined to save me aren’t you?"

There was a note of laughter in his voice. Gabrielle picked up on it and responded to it, "yeah, I’m going to make it my mission."

Ares laughed softly and laid back down again, "well, I’m too tired to do anything right now. You will have to teach me another time." He closed his eyes and went back to sleep again.

Ares drifted in and out of sleep for the next couple of days. Gabrielle stayed by his side the whole time and kept her promise to Aphrodite. She took care of him, nursed him back to health and made sure that he didn’t do any more damage to his ribs. Ares finally felt more like his old self again, a weaker version of his old self.

During those days, they talked, laughed, swapped stories and formed the beginning of a friendship. By the time Xena showed up with Aphrodite, Ares no longer felt the

need to own her. Yes she will always be important to him, but he had learned that he could live very well without her. His thoughts turned to Gabrielle, he finally understood her power over Xena; it is her ability to give freely, to demand nothing in return, to love without reservation. He doesn’t know if he will ever be able to love so unconditionally as she can, after all a life time of selfishness cannot be erased within a couple of days, but she had shown him the way.

The powers are gone, but with her help, he had learned to live again. It might not be the glorious life of a God, but he had learned that being a mortal has its advantage also; he had gained a real friend. Friendship isn’t a word that he’s used to, but this friend makes him feel good on the inside. He now has a friend who is determined to see to that he learns how to survive out there in the real world. He thought about his future, and decided he will have a future.

Aphrodite was surprised at the change in her brother. She turned to Xena, "I swear he was at death’s door the last time I saw him. I don’t know what happened, but it wasn’t a trick to get you here."

"I believe you." Xena looked at Gabrielle; "she has that affect on people. I think it’s her special gift."

The End