By Chelsea

Disclaimer: Gabrielle, Xena, and Aphrodite all belong to Renaissance Pictures/Studios USA. No copyright infringement intended.

Warning: Spoiler for Legacy

Summary: After the event of Legacy, Gabrielle decided to leave Xena.

Gabrielle looked into the horizon, she still have time before dawn breaks. She took a last took at her best friend who was at the moment still wrapped in the arms of Morpheus. She slowly and quietly led her horse away from camp. Once she was sure she was out of hearing, she sprung herself on to the horse and galloped away.

She continues to ride without any real destination in mind. All she could recognize was the need to get away and be by herself. She had left Xena a note explaining why she needed to leave and hoped that would be sufficient.

It was a long time later that she finally pulled in her horse and decided to stop for a break, more for the sake of the horse than her own. She led the horse to the edge of the stream and let it free. She took a few sips of water and after wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, sat down to contemplate the event leading up to this moment.

Both Korah and his father had called her a warrior. A warrior...just what does that mean? Death? Destruction? She used to think it was the ability to protect the weak and the innocent, but now...? Yes, she has learned the art of being a warrior, but she has not yet learned how to deal with the consequences of being a warrior. The face of Korah dead in her arms refused to go away. She has been having nightmares ever since that fateful day. She sees in her mind the sharp point of her sai plunging into him. She sees him looking up at her in disbelief, her name the last word he had uttered. She sees the contempt and accusation in the eyes of Korah’s father. She sees herself buried up to her neck in sand. She almost wished Xena had not interfered and just let them kill her, it would have been easier to be dead than to live with her guilt. She folded her arms across her knees and silently wept.

It was the gentle stroking of her hair that alerted her to the fact that she was no longer alone. She looked up expecting to see Xena only to be confronted by the lovely face of Aphrodite.

"Aphrodite, what are you doing here?" She quickly wiped away her tears and tried to pull herself together.

"Trying to see how you are hanging on kiddo." Aphrodite smiled at her, not one of her glorious, blinding smile, but one of silent friendship.

"I’m...fine."

"Really? You don’t have to pretend with me you know." Aphrodite looked at Gabrielle and sighed. This girl, always with the best intentions, carried such a load of guilt within her that even the goddess herself didn’t know if she would be able to help her. "Why did you leave Xena?"

"I needed sometime on my own. There are a few things that I needed to sort out for myself."

"She would have helped you come to terms with everything that happened if you had only let her."

"She can’t help me on this. I have to work this out for myself."

"The problem is you are not seeing things clearly right now. You are so determined to put all the blame on yourself that you can not find any way out."

"If I’m not to blame for this, then who is?" Gabrielle looked at the goddess in anger. "I killed him, an innocent young boy. Now we will never know what he could have become. We will never find out what he’s capable of. He was so young, he had so much potential, and I took it all away. I took him away from his family, from his people, from everyone who loved him. I killed him. There is no other explanation for what happened. I made a mistake, and he paid for it with his life." The tears were back, once again clouding her eyes.

"Yes Gabrielle, that’s right, you made a terrible mistake. But that’s exactly what it was, a mistake. You can’t go through the rest of your life blaming yourself for this one incident. You didn’t kill him out of malice. You did it because your instinct told you to do so; you didn’t know it was desert boy, you thought someone was trying to kill Xena, you were just trying to protect your friend." Aphrodite placed her arm across the bard’s shoulder and pulled her unresistingly to her.

"Protect, that’s what I thought I was doing, but how did my so-call protection lead to this?" Gabrielle looked up into the sky and let the tears run silently down her face. "Why do you call him desert boy? Xena calls him that too. Why can’t anyone understand that he has an identity; his name was Korah. KORAH is dead Aphrodite, and nothing I do can bring him back."

"I’m sorry Gabrielle, it was insensitive of me. And you are absolutely right, nothing you do can bring him back, especially not self-pity. We all make mistakes Gabrielle. The trick is learning how to forgive yourself, accept that you are only mortal, and move on. You have so much to give, don’t let this one mistake take that from you."

"Give, me, the useless sidekick? I have only ever caused nothing but trouble."

"Gabrielle...guilt is a poor substitute for a friend."

"Guilt is all that I've left. Do you know how many mistakes I have made? Do you know the damages that my mistakes have caused? It was my mistake that killed Xena’s only son, Solon. It was my mistake that almost took the life of her daughter Eve. It was my ignorance that killed Joxer. It was probably my fault that Eli is dead. My life seems to be nothing but mistakes."

"Do you really think you can solve your problems by running away?"

"At least I will not be a liability to her anymore." She closed her eyes briefly and let out a long sigh.

"Even when you know that she needs you? You are her light; you guided her toward the path of righteousness. And now you are turning your back on her?"

"I might have helped her along, but she is who she is because of herself. She was already determined to make the change when she met me. I don’t claim any credit for her being the person that she is today."

"And that’s where you are wrong." Gabrielle quickly turned at the sound of that voice, only to find Xena standing a few feet away. "I could never have continued to do what I am doing today if it wasn’t for you. You were my conscience. You helped me find my way when I was lost. You can’t give away all the credits and take on all the blames. Korah was a mistake, probably the worst one you ever made, but you did it while trying to protect me. I could never thank you enough." She slowly came over and sat down besides the bard. "Accept your mistake, accept the fact that you are not perfect, but let go of the guilt. I want my best friend back."

"Accepting my limitations, accepting my faults cannot bring back Korah. How do I live with myself knowing that I took away the most precious thing on earth, an innocent life?"

"And what good does it do to anybody if you throw yours away? You can't always take the time to analyze the situation. You have so much to give Gabrielle, not only are you the best thing that ever happened to me, you are the best thing that ever happened to a lot of people. You are a warrior, and being a warrior comes with certain obligations. One being that you sometimes make mistakes. Sometimes that mistake can be fatal, but you learn from it, and you try not to make the same mistake twice. I know what you are going through, but you can’t turn away from me because of it. I need you."

Gabrielle turned to Xena and sobbed violently. Xena just pulled her into her embrace and let her cry. Finally the tears stopped and Gabrielle looked up with tear-stained eyes at her friend. "Will you help me?"

"Of course I will."

Gabrielle turned to Aphrodite, "and you are always here for me, aren’t you?"

"Always." Aphrodite smiled first at the bard, and then at the warrior princess. "If either one of you need anything, you know where to call." She stood up and disappeared in a blinding flash of light.

Gabrielle turned back to Xena, "I need to talk, sort of well... unload, will you listen?"

"You know I will."

Gabrielle sniffed, let out a long sigh and started to talk.