Can you guess who she is?
First, let's have a couple of beers while we're waiting for someone else to make the sandwiches for us.
What? No one else is prepared to prepare the food?
Maybe my "mystery guest" standing behind me can help with that.
It isn't really hard to do.
If you knew that long flowing blonde hair you could probably figure her out.
A six pack of beer says you can't!
A PATTY MELT TO DIE FOR
First a little bit o' history on how this recipe came about.
There was a woman named Patty Pomander who lived in Salem, Massachusetts. She didn't smoke Salems however but clove cigarettes instead. Now that in itself was a no-no because she wasn't supporting the local tobacco industry. She also didn't attend church since she was a practicing witch, which, meant her days were numbered. Legend has it that her closet smelled really good however because of the lovely, fragrant pomanders she made and hung in her closet.
Now these were the days of the infamous witch hunts where everyone had their own personalized hand held kerosene torches that had been purchased at the local "Torch, Knife, and Scythe" shows. If you didn't have your own torch, you would be banished from the town, so everyone just had to have one.
Meanwhile this poor girl had a problem finding good quality beef for her sandwich recipe because the guys that worked down at the slaughterhouse were always up all night "tipping the cows" while getting bent on mushrooms and MD 2020. The hicks were always either too tired or too stoned to work. Basically the town had no real meat, except chicken of course since chicken tipping isn't really a past-time for hicks. And this recipe didn't use chicken.
Outraged, Patty would lure small children to her home with her magic dust and candy. She was a BAD TO THE BONE witch. As a replacement for quality ground sirloin, she'd grind up the little kids into a medium grind, remembering sometimes to remove the bones, eyeballs,
"Jujubees", and "Raisinettes".
What was quite confusing to the local town folk, is she used a really good Jewish Rye Bread for this recipe. Everyone knew she didn't practice that religion. This most certainly tweaked the local Hassidic population which was very strong in numbers at that time.This whole thing was called to the attention of Patrick Buchannan and Patrick Eweing, (remember him?), who immedeatly decided to form the "Christian Coalition" which to this day is empowered by right wing radicals, some gay groups and even Ronald Reagan himself (does he remember him?).
In light of all this, they decided to burn her at the stake. Hence the name: "PATTY MELT"
- 4 1/3 oz. Fresh Ground Sirloin Patties preferably a 90/10 grade (no eyeballs)
- 1 Lg. Vidalia onion sliced thin and saute�d
- 8 oz. Cheddar Cheese (I prefer sharp)
- 8 slices of a good quality Jewish Rye
- Enough softened butter to spread on one side of each slice for pan grilling
- your favorite condiments (I prefer only Dijon Mustard)
BASICALLY WHAT YOU ARE DOING HERE IS MAKING A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH WITH THE BURGER PATTY AND GRILLED ONIONS ON THE INSIDE!
IF YOU NEED INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO MAKE A GRILLED CHEESE, THEN E-MAIL ME. I'LL BE GLAD TO LET YOU KNOW HOW. I'LL EVEN INCLUDE INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO BOIL WATER. AND NO GLENDA... YOU CAN'T BOIL A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH! YUCKY-POO!
SERVE THIS BURGER WITH A COLD POTATO SALAD OR CHIPS, AND PLENTY-O-BEER!Contrary to popular belief by certain people in certain circles, this server named Patty in particular that I work with, you cannot "cheat with wheat no matter what!" as she likes to put it. I'm wondering if it's okay when you've ingested the right combination of illegal substances? I'll have to ask her.
LET'S GET ON WITH A SOUP TO HAVE WITH THAT GRILLED CHEESE SAMMICH THAT GLENDA DIDN'T BOIL
SE�OR SVEN'S CHICKEN TORTILLA SOUP
Going back to when I was raised in the wilds of Mexico with nothing but my wits and my nakedness, I was forced to scrounge for my food daily because othrwise I was trading found trinkets for really good pot, peyote, mescaline, tequilla and heroin.
It wasn't all that bad a childhood actually.
So once in a while I'd steal a chicken or two from some other poor shmuck to make this soup using these ingredients:
- 1 tbsp. olive oil
- 4 chicken breast cubed
- 1 lg. onion diced
- 6 ribs celery chopped
- 4 cloves garlic minced
- 1 small can diced pimento
- 1 small can diced green chilis
- 10 small round corn tortillas diced (reserve five uncut)
- 1 small can black olives diced
- 1 bunch fresh cilantro chopped fine
- 10 cups chicken stock
- 1 bag frozen corn
- salt and pepper to taste
Saute� the chicken, celery, garlic, and onions in the olive oil until the chicken is cooked. Add the remaining ingredients and simmer over a low heat for an hour.
Cut the reserved tortillas into quarters and deep fry or bake depending upon your preference.
Line the soup bowl with the tortillas and ladle the soup into the bowl. Garnish with a tablespoon of sour cream on top.
"HEY J.J.! JERK THIS DOLPHIN SANDWICH!"
This recipe contains no hair preservatives or glues of any kind!
Most impotant! You need to know a reputable fresh fish retailer. It's also important to smell the product before you buy it. If the seller asks you WHY you're sniffing the filet, return it to him because he obviously doesn't know that if it smells like fish, then it's guaranteed not to be fresh. This conclusion can be tested afterwords by asking when the fish was delivered to market. I usually get the response of "I'm not sure, I've had the past couple of days off and the manager is out of town." Then when I ask to see a recent invoice, I'm told that they all had just been sent to the "Central Office" somewhere on the Moon. This is when you find another market and cross these jerks off your list.
Catch my drift? No pun intended.
Let's get started here.
- 2 lbs. fresh dolphin filet with bloodline removed
- your favorite jerk rub found in most grocery stores (or use my seasoning mix found on the homepage listed below)
- poppy seed buns
- fresh lettuce
- fresh sliced vine ripe tomato
- 2 limes
- your favorite tartar sauce (simple mayo, sweet relish, and lime juice recipe)
After you cut out the bloodline, rinse the filet thoroughly. Cut into equal pieces (you should get 4 sandwiches). Marinate in my marinade for a few minutes or use the jerk rub that you purchased. Grill this on an open grill turning once until the dolphin is fork tender. DON"T OVERCOOK!
You can also do this in the broiler of your oven so you don't miss Dan Marino getting his butt sacked every once in a while. Or on the upside, you don't want to miss Zach Thomas hitting the opposing quarterback like a tank fifteen yards behind the line of scrimmage. He's been known to do that.
Serve this sandwhich with the quartered limes and maybe some coleslaw. It's a good Sunday treat.
There was a woman named Patty Pomander who lived in Salem, Massachusetts. She didn't smoke Salems however but clove cigarettes instead. Now that in itself was a no-no because she wasn't supporting the local tobacco industry. She also didn't attend church since she was a practicing witch, which, meant her days were numbered. Legend has it that her closet smelled really good however because of the lovely, fragrant pomanders she made and hung in her closet.
Now these were the days of the infamous witch hunts where everyone had their own personalized hand held kerosene torches that had been purchased at the local "Torch, Knife, and Scythe" shows. If you didn't have your own torch, you would be banished from the town, so everyone just had to have one.
Meanwhile this poor girl had a problem finding good quality beef for her sandwich recipe because the guys that worked down at the slaughterhouse were always up all night "tipping the cows" while getting bent on mushrooms and MD 2020. The hicks were always either too tired or too stoned to work. Basically the town had no real meat, except chicken of course since chicken tipping isn't really a past-time for hicks. And this recipe didn't use chicken.
Outraged, Patty would lure small children to her home with her magic dust and candy. She was a BAD TO THE BONE witch. As a replacement for quality ground sirloin, she'd grind up the little kids into a medium grind, remembering sometimes to remove the bones, eyeballs, "Jujubees", and "Raisinettes".
What was quite confusing to the local town folk, is she used a really good Jewish Rye Bread for this recipe. Everyone knew she didn't practice that religion. This most certainly tweaked the local Hassidic population which was very strong in numbers at that time.This whole thing was called to the attention of Patrick Buchannan and Patrick Eweing, (remember him?), who immedeatly decided to form the "Christian Coalition" which to this day is empowered by right wing radicals, some gay groups and even Ronald Reagan himself (does he remember him?).
In light of all this, they decided to burn her at the stake. Hence the name:
"PATTY MELT"
- 4 1/3 oz. Fresh Ground Sirloin Patties preferably a 90/10 grade (no eyeballs)
- 1 Lg. Vidalia onion sliced thin and saute�d
- 8 oz. Cheddar Cheese (I prefer sharp)
- 8 slices of a good quality Jewish Rye
- Enough softened butter to spread on one side of each slice for pan grilling
- your favorite condiments (I prefer only Dijon Mustard)
IF YOU NEED INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO MAKE A GRILLED CHEESE, THEN E-MAIL ME. I'LL BE GLAD TO LET YOU KNOW HOW. I'LL EVEN INCLUDE INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO BOIL WATER. AND NO GLENDA... YOU CAN'T BOIL A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH! YUCKY-POO!
SERVE THIS BURGER WITH A COLD POTATO SALAD OR CHIPS, AND PLENTY-O-BEER!
Contrary to popular belief by certain people in certain circles, this server named Patty in particular that I work with, you cannot "cheat with wheat no matter what!" as she likes to put it. I'm wondering if it's okay when you've ingested the right combination of illegal substances? I'll have to ask her.
LET'S GET ON WITH A SOUP TO HAVE WITH THAT GRILLED CHEESE SAMMICH THAT GLENDA DIDN'T BOIL
SE�OR SVEN'S CHICKEN TORTILLA SOUP
Going back to when I was raised in the wilds of Mexico with nothing but my wits and my nakedness, I was forced to scrounge for my food daily because othrwise I was trading found trinkets for really good pot, peyote, mescaline, tequilla and heroin.
It wasn't all that bad a childhood actually.
So once in a while I'd steal a chicken or two from some other poor shmuck to make this soup using these ingredients:
- 1 tbsp. olive oil
- 4 chicken breast cubed
- 1 lg. onion diced
- 6 ribs celery chopped
- 4 cloves garlic minced
- 1 small can diced pimento
- 1 small can diced green chilis
- 10 small round corn tortillas diced (reserve five uncut)
- 1 small can black olives diced
- 1 bunch fresh cilantro chopped fine
- 10 cups chicken stock
- 1 bag frozen corn
- salt and pepper to taste
Cut the reserved tortillas into quarters and deep fry or bake depending upon your preference.
Line the soup bowl with the tortillas and ladle the soup into the bowl. Garnish with a tablespoon of sour cream on top.
"HEY J.J.! JERK THIS DOLPHIN SANDWICH!"
This recipe contains no hair preservatives or glues of any kind!
Most impotant! You need to know a reputable fresh fish retailer. It's also important to smell the product before you buy it. If the seller asks you WHY you're sniffing the filet, return it to him because he obviously doesn't know that if it smells like fish, then it's guaranteed not to be fresh. This conclusion can be tested afterwords by asking when the fish was delivered to market. I usually get the response of "I'm not sure, I've had the past couple of days off and the manager is out of town." Then when I ask to see a recent invoice, I'm told that they all had just been sent to the "Central Office" somewhere on the Moon. This is when you find another market and cross these jerks off your list.
Catch my drift? No pun intended.
Let's get started here.
- 2 lbs. fresh dolphin filet with bloodline removed
- your favorite jerk rub found in most grocery stores (or use my seasoning mix found on the homepage listed below)
- poppy seed buns
- fresh lettuce
- fresh sliced vine ripe tomato
- 2 limes
- your favorite tartar sauce (simple mayo, sweet relish, and lime juice recipe)
You can also do this in the broiler of your oven so you don't miss Dan Marino getting his butt sacked every once in a while. Or on the upside, you don't want to miss Zach Thomas hitting the opposing quarterback like a tank fifteen yards behind the line of scrimmage. He's been known to do that.
Serve this sandwhich with the quartered limes and maybe some coleslaw. It's a good Sunday treat.
