-----
Olivia Benson let out a heavy sigh as she tried to block out the sound of John Munch and Odafin Tutuola bickering over, of all things, a pencil. She was used to Fin and Munch quarrelling about anything and everything, but the supposed theft of Fin’s blue pencil was so petty that she could hardly stand it. “Fin, I’ll give you my whole box of blue pencils if you just shut the hell up,” she snapped, pressing her thumbs into her temples. She began a vain attempt to massage away the headache that had been caused, at least in part, by the argument going on next to her.
“I don’t mind that he took my blue pencil,” Fin insisted. “I do mind that he’s chewin’ on the eraser. I don’t want his slobber all over my pencil.”
“No worse than your slobber,” Munch retorted, peering at his partner over the top of his glasses. “You chew on the eraser, too, you know.”
“And you’re chewing on it knowing full well that thing’s been in my mouth?” Fin asked, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “That’s sick!”
“Where the hell is Novak with that warrant?” Olivia asked loudly, partly out of frustration and partly to change the topic of conversation to anything but Fin’s slobbery blue pencil. Casey was supposed to have delivered a search warrant to the squad close to half an hour prior. Until she did, the squad was cooling their heels on their investigation of a professor accused of raping one of his students. And if there was one thing Olivia hated, it was waiting.
“Ask and you shall receive!” called a breathless voice from the doorway.
Olivia whipped her head around in the direction of the voice and, smiling in relief, stood up from her desk to meet Casey halfway. “Finally!” She snatched the papers from the ADA’s hand and gave them a quick once-over before shooting an icy glare at Casey. “You sure took your sweet time.”
A surprised and hurt look crossed Casey’s face for just a moment before indignation settled into her eyes. “Hey, I had to stand there twiddling my thumbs while Judge Terhune discussed his latest poker coup with Judge Bradley. And then he made me give him the details of our case twice before he signed the warrant! Once he did, I practically flew here. You’re lucky I got here when I did.”
Munch crossed over to the two women and took the warrant from Olivia. “I’ll take that. You will join us when you’re finished yelling at our ADA, won’t you?”
He didn’t wait for answer; he brushed past them and exited the squad room with Fin at his heels. Olivia gave Munch a glare; Casey flinched at both Munch’s tone and Olivia’s obvious anger. “Did someone slip angry pills into the coffee this morning?” Casey gingerly asked.
“No,” Olivia sighed, softening at the nervous look on Casey’s face. “We’ve been working this case close to twenty-four hours straight and we’re all getting a little snippy.” She let out another heavy breath and finally looked up at the ADA, taking the time to actually process the dark circles under Casey’s eyes and the fact that she was still slightly out of breath. “Casey, you look like shit.”
“Well, you sure know how to charm a girl,” Casey said, rolling her eyes. “What the--”
“Do you feel all right?”
“I’m tired, but that’s par for the course around here.” She gave a small shrug and sat down in the chair at Munch’s desk.
“Are you sure? You’re really pale.”
Casey paused. “Olivia? I’m always pale.”
“No, this is different.” Olivia reached over and rested the back of her hand against Casey’s forehead. “You’re a little warm, and I don’t like the way you’re breathing. It sounds strange.”
Casey pushed Olivia’s hand away, both embarrassed and slightly annoyed. “Get the hell out of here. I feel fine, and I’m breathing this way because I just booked it across a zillion city blocks to get you a warrant.” She stood and smoothed the wrinkles out of her suit. “You have an apartment to search. Call me if you find out anything.”
“Of course,” Olivia said. She watched Casey turn on her heels and disappear through the door. She thought about calling after her but she decided she better get down to the apartment first. Letting out a small sigh, she started for the stairs to wake her partner.
-----
Elliot Stabler opened the driver’s side door of the blue sedan and plopped down behind the steering wheel with a satisfied grin. “We’ve got his ass now.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Olivia warned him as she entered the car and closed the passenger door. “The hair could be anyone’s.”
“You’re forgetting the stained sheets.” Elliot started up the car, humming to himself. “It’s a break, Liv. Savor it.”
“We still have a ton of work of to do, you know, break or no break. But at least we can get a little bit of sleep.” Olivia pulled out her cell phone and dialed Casey’s number. “Casey wants me to call her.”
Elliot nodded and began driving back to the precinct. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Olivia take the phone away from her ear, frown, and dial another number. “What’s the matter?”
“She’s not answering her office phone. I’m trying her cell now.” There was a moment of silence before Olivia hung up her phone with a confused sigh. “She’s not answering her cell, either. She always answers her cell.”
“Is she in court today?” Elliot asked.
“No,” Olivia replied, shaking her head. “Today’s her paperwork day. I only know because she was whining to me last night about how much she hates her full days of paperwork.”
“Well, we could pay her a visit,” he said with a small shrug. “Maybe even drag her out of her office long enough to get the girl a hot dog.”
“I’m too exhausted to force-feed our ADA a hot dog.” Olivia yawned and leaned her head back against the seat. “But I am up for paying her a visit, if only because she’ll kill me if I don’t keep her updated on the case.”
They made the drive to Casey’s office in record time. Olivia took a weary breath in as she signed in at the security desk and led her partner to the elevator. She felt an odd sense of nervous anticipation; there was something that didn’t feel right, though Olivia couldn’t put her finger on just what that something was. Perhaps it was her overtired brain making something out of nothing. At least, that was what she hoped.
The elevator dinged as it reached the correct floor, startling Olivia. Shaking her head in nervous relief and wondering just why she was so antsy, she stepped off the elevator with Elliot in tow. She was too tired to be traipsing all over the city after Casey and she was starting to get annoyed that she was in Hogan Place rather than at her stationhouse or even at home, catching a much-needed forty winks. “If she’s not here, we’re going back to the precinct. I’m not scouring the city for her, and I’ll tell her that to her face if I have to.”
Elliot smirked, laying a comforting hand on his partner’s shoulder. “You really need to get some sleep.”
“Yes, I do.” She turned the corner in the hallway, feeling even more aggravated as Casey’s office came into view. “And I’d be getting some right now if Lawyer Girl had just answered her damn phone.”
Snickering, Elliot pulled in front of Olivia to lead the way to the office. “Why didn’t you just leave her a voicemail? Then we’d already be back at the precinct and she’d be updated.”
Olivia stopped walking, mulling that over for a moment. “Stop using logic on me, Stabler.”
Elliot laughed as he came up to Casey’s office. The blinds on the front windows were drawn and he couldn’t see in, so he knocked on the door. When he didn’t receive a response, he tried the knob. It turned in his hand and he pushed the door open, calling the ADA’s name softly so as not to startle her. Stepping into the office, he saw at once why Casey hadn’t answered her phones: she was sitting at her desk with her head down, her arms acting as a makeshift pillow, sound asleep. “Casey,” he repeated a little more loudly.
When she didn’t stir, he rounded the desk and crouched down next to her. As he gently reached down to shake her shoulder, his fingers brushed her cheek. “Shit, she’s burning up!” he exclaimed, gasping.
“I knew there was something wrong with her,” Olivia muttered under her breath, all feelings of agitation getting pushed aside by her sudden concern. “Is she breathing all right? She was wheezing this morning.”
Elliot listened closely and sure enough, Casey’s breathing was rapid and shallow. He started nudging the sleeping ADA gently. “Liv, come here and help me wake her up. We need to get her to the hospital.”
-----
It was funny how not even four hours prior all Olivia could think about was getting some blissful and most welcome shuteye. But now, as she ran her eyes over the IV needle stuck into the back of Casey’s left hand and the slim oxygen tube that had been settled under her nose, all she cared about was making sure that Casey was going to be okay.
The whistle in Casey’s breath had disappeared after she was given some oxygen in the emergency room and her breathing had become more even and deep after she was given some pain medication. Her fever had made her groggy and somewhat delirious, and she had been going in and out of consciousness the entire time they were in the emergency room. The doctor had awoken her to take some chest X-rays and had admitted her shortly thereafter. Being seen in a New York ER and subsequently admitted in just under three and a half hours was nothing short of a miracle, but it only served to make Olivia realize just how serious Casey’s condition was.
Her condition turned out to be a rather acute case of pneumonia. Doctor Sorenson, the doctor who had seen Casey in the emergency room, had told her and Elliot that Casey would be perfectly fine after a course of antibiotics and some rest. Now, Olivia was sitting in the chair next to Casey’s bed, gently gripping the ADA’s right hand and waiting for her to awaken. Elliot had been standing behind her, but he had gone to the pay phones to call the precinct and keep them updated.
Olivia let out a small sigh and began absentmindedly running her thumb over the back of Casey’s hand. Suddenly, Casey’s fingers tightened around Olivia’s hand. At first, Olivia thought Casey’s muscles were twitching in her sleep, but when the ADA started making pained faces and moaning quietly, she knew Casey was starting to stir. Olivia released her grip on Casey’s hand and began gently pushing stray locks of hair behind the ADA’s ear. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” she whispered soothingly.
Casey turned her head to the side and took a deep breath in, which caused her face to screw up in pain. Moaning again, she opened her eyes slowly. She glanced around the room, disoriented. It didn’t take long for her to figure out where she was, though, what with the white walls all around her and the IV stand next to her. She sighed softly, resting her head back against the pillow, and smiled slightly when she saw Olivia sitting next to her. “Hi.”
“Hey,” Olivia replied, returning her smile. “How’re you feeling?”
“Like an elephant is sitting on my chest.” She placed her hands flat on the bed, trying to push herself up a little, and gasped in pain. She quickly lifted her left hand and cradled it in her right. What the hell was the IV needle doing in the back of her hand? “Ow! Damn it!”
“Oh, sorry,” Olivia cringed. “I should have warned you. They couldn’t get a vein in your arm, so they had to put it there.”
“Yeah, I’ve always had horrible veins,” she said with a bitter smile. She glanced over at Olivia and was surprised at the amount of concern on the detective’s face. Why was she so worried? After thinking for a quick moment about her chest pains and the trouble she was having breathing, she had a couple of ideas. “Okay, which one? Pneumonia or bronchitis?”
“Pneumonia,” Olivia replied. She was trying to keep her voice calm and quiet for Casey’s sake, but she was really worried. Casey looked so frail lying in the hospital bed with tubes all over her, and her breathing was getting worse now that she was awake and talking. “How did you know?”
“I had really bad asthma when I was younger. I kind of outgrew it as I got older, but I’m more susceptible to lung infections because of it.” Casey’s eyes slid half-closed as she was speaking. “I get pneumonia kind of a lot, usually once a year, but I’ve only been hospitalized for it once before.”
“Don’t talk as much,” Olivia said softly. “You’re starting to wheeze again.”
“I’m sorry if I scared you.”
“Don’t worry about that.” Olivia reached out and once again gripped Casey’s hand comfortingly.
Casey squeezed Olivia’s hand back and let out a small sigh, allowing her eyes to close completely. “I’m really sorry, Olivia.”
“Shh, just relax,” Olivia whispered. After a few moments, Casey’s grip on Olivia’s hand loosened and her head settled back further into the pillows. Olivia smiled, slid her hand out from under Casey’s, and reached up to feel the ADA’s forehead to check her fever. She still felt extremely warm, warmer than Olivia would have liked her to be. Frowning, she brought her hand down and sighed.
“How is she?” Elliot asked as he opened the door to Casey’s room.
Olivia turned around and held up her hands, shushing him. “She just went back to sleep.”
“Okay, but that doesn’t answer my question,” Elliot said, whispering.
Smirking at his matter-of-fact attitude, she turned back around and looked down at Casey. “She knows where she is and why she’s here. She’s in quite a bit of pain and as she was talking, her breathing was getting worse. Her fever’s still pretty high, too.”
Elliot stood behind Olivia, comfortingly placing his hands on her shoulders. “Listen, Cragen needs at least one of us back. I’ll go if you want to stay here with her.”
Olivia hesitated a moment, thinking over her options. “Do you mind going without me? I just don’t know how much of the conversation we had she’s going to remember, and I don’t want her to wake up alone. I’ll catch a cab back to the precinct once I’m sure she’s okay.”
“That’s perfectly fine,” Elliot assured her. “I’ll just tell Cragen you’re staying with her until she wakes up.”
Olivia nodded, taking her seat in the chair next to Casey’s bed and once again gripping the ADA’s hand. She allowed the concern to show on her face as she heard Elliot’s footsteps head towards the door.
“Hey, Liv?”
Olivia turned around in the chair and looked her partner in the eye. “Yeah?”
“She’s going to be fine, you know.”
“Yeah, I know,” she answered with a small smile.
Elliot returned her smile and tiptoed out the door. Olivia sighed and leaned back in the chair, closing her eyes while still keeping a tight grip on Casey’s hand. Within a few minutes, she had drifted off into a light sleep.
-----
Olivia awoke to Casey mumbling something about bugs. Confused, she opened her eyes and sat up straight in the chair, tightening her hand around the sleeping ADA’s. It was obvious Casey was having a nightmare, but her fever and the pain medication were combining to make her next to impossible to awaken.
“Bugs … everywhere,” Casey muttered, almost inaudibly. She drew in her breath and consequently moaned in pain. “Make them go away, make them go away.”
“They’ll go away if you open your eyes,” Olivia said gently.
“All over the walls.” Casey turned her head to the side and restlessly stretched her legs out under the sheet. “Won’t go away.”
“Shh.” She let go of Casey’s hand and instead touched her shoulder comfortingly. “It’s all right, Casey.”
Casey whimpered in her sleep and shrank away from Olivia’s touch. Olivia silently cursed Casey’s fever, which was undoubtedly at least contributing to the nightmare. The ADA’s teeth were chattering, regardless of the fact that she was sweating and her skin was hot to the touch. “Please make them go away.”
Sighing, Olivia shook Casey’s shoulder in an attempt to awaken her. “If you open your eyes, they’ll go away, Casey, I promise.”
Olivia’s gentle but insistent voice finally broke through Casey’s deep sleep. The ADA wrinkled her nose, took as deep a breath in as she could manage, and forced her eyes open slowly. “Olivia? The bugs were--”
“Shh,” Olivia whispered. “It’s all right now. You were having a nightmare.”
Casey let her breath out, nodded, and shifted position on the bed so she was sitting up a little. “God, that was awful.”
“It sounded awful.”
“There were all these ants and spiders and roaches all over the walls and floors. And I was the only one who thought it was weird. It was disgusting.”
“It was just a dream, hon,” Olivia said softly. “I always had the oddest dreams of my life when I had fevers.”
“I’m freezing, though” Casey said, frowning. She closed her eyes for a moment and gave a resigned sigh. “That means the fever’s pretty bad, right?”
Olivia nodded, giving Casey a comforting smile. “It was over a hundred and four when we got you in here. It’s gone down a little since then but it’s still really high.”
Letting out a small sigh, Casey leaned her head back against the pillows. “It doesn’t usually progress this fast. I mean, I was fine this morning. A little wheezy, but fine. After I gave you the warrant, I went back to my office to work on my paperwork and before I knew it, I was falling asleep at my desk.”
“When Elliot and I found you, you had totally passed out.”
Casey looked up at Olivia, wrinkling her brow in confusion. “Wait, why did you guys come to my office?”
“I tried calling you to give you an update on the case like you had asked me to and when you didn’t answer the phone, we decided to stop in and see you.” Olivia conveniently left out the part about being annoyed that Casey hadn’t answered the phone. “I’m glad we did because you are one sick attorney. Your breathing was so bad it was actually scaring me for a while there.”
“I’m so sorry, Olivia--”
“Why are you apologizing?”
Casey shrugged. “Because you’re here with me instead of at work and because I scared you.”
“Don’t worry about any of that.” Olivia smiled and gently brushed Casey’s hair out of her eyes. It was such a motherly gesture that Casey couldn’t help but smile back. “Are you going to be okay if I leave for a second to call Cragen?”
“Go back to work,” Casey answered, gesturing with her head towards the door. “I’ll be all right.”
“Are you sure?”
Casey nodded. “I’m fine. Thanks for staying with me.”
“You’re quite welcome.” Olivia stood up from the chair and gave the ADA a comforting smile. “I’m going to come back after my shift.”
“No, you don’t have to--”
“I want to,” Olivia interrupted. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
Casey wrinkled her brow and frowned. “Am I like, dying and you’re not telling me? You seem awfully worried. I get pneumonia every year; this is nothing.”
Olivia smirked. “You’re the only one I know who could sit there in a hospital bed connected to oxygen, an IV, and an EKG and tell me it’s nothing.”
A smile spread across Casey’s lips as she shifted position in the bed. “I promise, I’m fine.” Her breath caught in her throat, causing pain to shoot through her chest muscles. She closed her eyes through the pain and groaned quietly. “Or at least, I will be. A couple days on the medicine and I’ll be back to normal.”
“Casey, the doctor told me you could be sidelined up to three weeks with this--”
“It’s not going to take three weeks.”
Olivia just smiled, deciding not to push the conversation on Casey. She figured that the ADA had enough on her mind and could be allowed one night of denial about the seriousness of her situation. “Okay. Get some rest.”
“I will,” Casey promised.
“You better.” Olivia gave Casey one last smile before tiptoeing out of the hospital room. Once out in hallway, Olivia let her breath out and finally let the concern show on her face. Whether Casey wanted to believe it or not, she was quite sick, and the fact that the illness came on so suddenly was making Olivia even more nervous. Once her shift was over, Olivia was going to come back and stay with Casey as long as she could.
-----
Casey was beginning to get a little stir-crazy. It was the middle of her fourth day in the hospital, and she had become bored by the whole thing three days ago. Luckily, Elliot and Olivia were extremely frequent visitors, though she had a sneaking suspicion that was more Olivia’s doing than Elliot’s. Munch and Fin would stop by at the end of their shift each night, and Don Cragen had come in a few times with flowers and had sat with her until she started falling asleep. She was truly touched by the way Olivia was playing mother hen and the captain was acting as a substitute father.
She was grateful for the time she could spend with the squad. While she didn’t really want her colleagues to see her so sick and weak, she craved the interaction and the chance to talk to someone besides Cheryl, her nurse. Glancing up at the clock on the wall, Casey sighed softly. It was only one o’clock in the afternoon, too early for anyone to stop by, though Cheryl would be coming in soon to check her IV.
With another small sigh, Casey picked up the remote control and started flipping channels on the television across from her bed. She had come to discover that daytime television was not all it was cracked up to be. She could only stomach soap operas for a few minutes, the talk shows drove her batty, and the court shows were so ridiculous she could hardly stand it. After going through the channels three times, she finally settled on the internal closed circuit channel which monitored the lobby. At least this way she could people-watch.
“And how is my favorite patient this afternoon?” a kindly voice asked from the doorway.
Casey smiled when Cheryl came into view. If Casey had to guess, she’d say the nurse was in her late forties or early fifties. A little bit of gray was creeping into her dark hair, and her bright blue eyes reminded Casey of her own mother’s. “You say that to every patient you have.”
“I do not. You really are my favorite.”
“Uh huh,” Casey chuckled. “And in answer to your question, I’m more bored than anything.”
“You still having the chest pain?” Cheryl asked as she gently stuck the tip of the digital thermometer in Casey’s ear.
“No,” Casey replied, wincing as she drew in her breath. The thermometer beeped; Cheryl pulled it away and frowned. “What’s the matter?”
“Well, for one, your fever’s just a touch higher than it was last night.” She put the thermometer back down on the medicine cart. “A hundred and one now. And for another, don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying--”
“Casey, I saw you cringe when you took a breath in. Do you want me to take away your favorite patient status?”
Casey blushed once she realized she had been caught in the lie. “Okay, okay, yeah, it still hurts. But it’s just pulled muscles.”
“Right, but those pulled muscles are interfering with your breathing, and that’s not good. Let’s not forget which one of us went to nursing school.” Cheryl gave Casey a smile as she pushed a couple of buttons on the IV stand’s computer. “I just upped the pain medication a tad. If it starts making you sleepy, do not fight it, you understand me?”
“Yes, Mother,” Casey replied teasingly. “Hey, Cheryl? You think I can go for a walk or something? I can’t sit here another moment, I really can’t. I’m starting to watch The Nanny, and I’m starting to like it. You have to help me.”
Cheryl burst out laughing. “You really are desperate, aren’t you?” Casey nodded, grinning. “Okay, you can go for a walk. You’ll have to drag the IV with you and if you start wheezing, you have to come back right away.”
“And here I was thinking I could make my escape!” Casey jokingly rolled her eyes as she prepared herself to stand. Slowly, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and put her feet flat on the floor. The tile felt cool against her bare feet, which sent a shiver down her spine. “Do you see the slippers anywhere?”
Cheryl glanced down at the floor and slid the blue hospital-issue slippers out from under the bed and over to Casey with her foot. “Here they are. They disappeared on you.”
“Thanks.” Casey slipped her toes into the thin shoes and began putting weight on her feet, slowly standing. She felt her knees buckle as a wave of dizziness washed over her. Groaning softly and cursing under her breath, she sat back down on the edge of the bed.
“You all right?” Cheryl asked, gripping her arm.
“Head rush; been lying down too long.”
“Casey, maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”
“I’m fine,” Casey insisted, once again trying to stand. This time, she made it with no dizziness, though her breathing was a little labored from the effort. She hated that she could hear the fluid in her lungs when she inhaled. “I was just in the same position too long. I’m okay now, I promise.”
She could tell at once that Cheryl wasn’t convinced. “You have fifteen minutes.”
“It’s going to take me fifteen minutes just to get to the door!”
Cheryl smirked. “Okay, fine, half an hour. Fifteen minutes to get to the door and fifteen minutes to get back to bed.”
Casey groaned, slightly annoyed by the nurse’s teasing. She was tired of being sick, tired of not being able to do much for herself, and tired of not being able to leave the hospital room. “Where’s the nursery?”
“Are you kidding? They’re not going to let you anywhere near the nursery.”
“I just want to look in the window,” Casey promised. “Contaminating newborns with the evil pneumonia virus is not high on my list of fun things to do.”
“It’s downstairs, but you’re not leaving the floor, Casey. You’ve been in bed for four days, you’re weak, and just standing up has winded you.” Cheryl gently took the hand that wasn’t connected to the IV and started walking with the ADA as she slowly headed for the door. “Go to the end of the hall and come back, and maybe tomorrow you can go downstairs.”
Casey wanted to whine and tell Cheryl that she was going downstairs come hell or high water, but instead she just sighed. After four days of only getting out of bed to use the bathroom, she was indeed rather weak and fatigued, and she hated to admit that she thought Cheryl was right about not being able to make it downstairs. “Fine. End of the hall. Is there at least a window?”
“Yes, there’s a window,” Cheryl smirked. “It’s got a particularly lovely view of the parking lot. You want me to walk with you?”
“No, I’ll be all right.” Casey felt her independence surging now that she was up and walking, despite that fact that her knees were shaking slightly. “Half an hour?”
Cheryl nodded and let go of Casey’s hand. “If you need me, just give a shout, okay?”
Casey returned the nod and gradually made her way out of the room, dragging the IV stand along beside her. With a small sigh, she began trudging to the end of the hall, the sunlight from the window beckoning her. As she got a little closer, she saw a little girl sitting on her knees on the wide sill, staring out the window. Curious, Casey quickened her pace as much as she could. She figured the little girl was at the hospital visiting a family member and had gotten bored.
When Casey walked up to the window and sat down on the edge of the sill, the little girl looked up and smiled. “Hi, my name’s Maddie.”
Casey returned the smile. “Hi there. My name is Casey.”
“I like that name. One of the girls in my class is named Casey. Are you sick, too?” The girl turned around and settled cross-legged facing the ADA, her brown eyes twinkling in the sunlight.
“Yeah, I’ve been having a hard time breathing lately,” Casey replied, hoping that would a good enough explanation for a little kid. She looked the little girl over and was surprised to see a white ID bracelet fastened around Maddie’s wrist. “What about you?”
“My heart doesn’t work right,” she replied, turning her head to stare out the window again. “I have to have an operation to fix it.”
Casey blinked in surprise. The little girl in no way looked sick, certainly not sick enough to require heart surgery. “How old are you?”
“I’m eight!” she answered proudly, shaking her dark curls out of her eyes. She turned again to face Casey and smiled. “How long have you been here?”
“Four days,” Casey answered. “I’m more than ready to go home, though.”
“You’re bored?” Maddie asked. Casey nodded. “Me too. I’ve played with all the toys in the toy room so much that they’re not fun anymore and no one’s been with me in days. I asked if I could go for a walk just to do something.”
“What do you mean, no one’s with you? Where’s your mom and dad?”
Maddie shrugged. “I haven’t seen my dad since I was little. I don’t know about my mom. She hasn’t been here in …” She paused and raised her eyes to the ceiling, her mouth moving as she counted back days in her head. “… five days.”
Casey frowned, her brow furrowing in concern. “Are you worried?”
“Nah. She does this a lot.”
“Madelyn!” Cheryl called from the end of the hallway. Both Maddie and Casey jumped at the sound of her voice. “You know you’re not supposed to leave the floor without telling Linda. She called down here frantic looking for you.”
“Sorry, Cheryl,” Maddie said, hopping down from her seat on the windowsill. She turned and gave Casey a small wave before she took off down the hall. “I have to go now. Bye, Casey!”
“Bye, hon,” Casey replied, giving the girl a goodbye smile. She watched the little girl run down the hall only to have Cheryl admonish her and tell her to walk to the elevator.
After Maddie disappeared around the corner, Casey remained on the sill, trying to process what the little girl had said. Why wasn’t the girl’s mother with her? It struck her as extremely odd that a mother would just leave such a sick child in the hospital and not at the very least pay her a visit. She didn’t look up until she heard Cheryl calling her name. Blinking, she raised her head as the nurse sat down on the sill next to her. “Wh-what?”
“I asked if you were okay,” Cheryl repeated.
Casey nodded distractedly, her mind still with the little girl. “Who was that girl?”
“Oh, Maddie? She’s a favorite up on the pediatric unit. She’s been in and out of here with a really bad heart murmur since she was a baby.” Cheryl stood and held her hand out to Casey. “Come on, your half-hour’s almost up. I’ll walk you back down to your room.”
Casey allowed Cheryl to help her stand but she pulled her hand out of the nurse’s grasp once she was sure she wasn’t going to have another head rush. It didn’t escape her notice that Cheryl seemed surprised that she wasn’t arguing with her about having to go back to the room. Truthfully, Casey was too preoccupied with trying to figure out if her concern for Maddie was coming from her surprise at learning the little girl was having heart surgery or if it was coming from her background in Special Victims. She was hoping that it was the former because she didn’t like the implications of it being the latter. Besides, if it were the latter, one would think someone from the hospital would have picked up on it sometime in the past eight years. Either way, something wasn’t right with that little girl, and she intended to find out exactly what was happening.
-----
Olivia tiptoed into Casey’s hospital room and peeked around the curtain. The ADA had the head of her bed upright so she was sitting up, the remote control in her hand and her eyes closed. The television was tuned for some reason to the station which monitored the lobby. Olivia turned around and brought her finger to her lips to keep Elliot quiet. “She’s asleep,” she whispered. “Let’s just leave the stuff and I’ll give her a call later.”
“I’m not asleep,” Casey spoke up through a yawn. She opened her eyes, clicked the television off, and turned to face the detectives, who were walking towards her with their hands behind their backs. “I’m bored out of my mind. Please tell me you’re here to entertain me.”
“No such luck, Counselor,” Elliot replied apologetically. “We only have a few minutes. But we do have a couple of surprises for you.”
“Ooh, surprises?” Casey asked, her green eyes shining for the first time in days. “If they’re books, I’ll love you forever. I’d even take a whole stack of paperwork at this point. I’m seriously going crazy here.”
“Well, be prepared to write each of us a love letter,” Olivia grinned. From behind her back, she pulled out two thick paperback novels and a crossword puzzle book, all purchased at the gift shop. “We figured you were bored, so we decided to get you something to pass the time.”
“You’ve just become my two favorite people in the whole world,” Casey said, excitedly accepting the books with a smile. “Thank you so much!”
“And that’s not all.” Elliot pulled his hand out from behind his back to reveal a fluffy brown teddy bear. “We figured you were lonely, too, so we got you a companion. He’s a good listener, but he’s not that great at giving advice, so don’t expect it.”
Casey snorted back a laugh--she could imagine her own father making a joke like that--as Elliot tucked the bear into bed next to her. “Thank you!” She set the books on her tray table and reached down to run her fingers over the bear’s soft fur. “Oh, he’s squishy!”
Olivia smiled, shaking her head slightly at Casey’s choice of words. “Squishy?”
“Yes.” Casey held up the teddy bear and squeezed his stomach to show her what she meant. “They’re more cuddly when they’re squishy.”
“You’re weird, you know that?” Olivia seated herself on the edge of the bed and rested the back of her hand against Casey’s forehead. “Damn. You’re still running a fever?”
Casey pushed Olivia’s hand down, frowning. “Yeah, I can’t seem to shake it. With all the stuff they’re pumping into me, one would think the fever would have gone away by now.”
“You’re fighting one hell of an infection, Casey,” Elliot spoke up softly. “It’s going to take some time.”
“Oh, believe me, I’m becoming quite aware of that,” she answered with a small sigh. “I took a walk today and could barely make it to the end of the hall and back. This is just so ridiculous.”
“You’re not a very good sick person, are you?”
“Not at all. I’m too active to have much patience for this crap.”
Olivia ran her eyes over the equipment in the room--the oxygen tubes, the EKG, the IV bags--then returned her gaze to Casey worriedly. “What kind of stuff are they pumping into you?”
“Um …” Casey frowned, trying to remember what the doctor and Cheryl had said. “Doxycycline, I think, for the fluid in the lungs and Demerol for the chest pain. I’m on the oxygen, too, because I’m still not breathing right, not getting enough air in my lungs or something.”
Olivia smiled comfortingly, trying not to let her concern show on her face, and took Casey’s hand for just a moment before standing. “We have to be getting back, but we wanted to stop by and bring you the presents. Want me to give you a call later on?”
“Sure,” Casey replied, pouting slightly. She didn’t want them to leave; they had only just arrived and she was craving interaction and conversation, but she understood that they were only stopping by during small lulls in their investigation. “Thank you so much for the gifts. You two didn’t have to do that.”
“We wanted to,” Elliot assured her, smiling. “Take it easy, kiddo.”
“I’ll call you later,” Olivia promised.
“Bye, guys,” Casey said softly, giving them a small wave before they disappeared behind the curtain. Sighing, she leaned her head back against the pillow, silently cursing the fact that she didn’t get a chance to ask them about Maddie. Though, perhaps that was a good thing. She knew nothing about the little girl or her situation, and how many times had she told them that gut instinct did not equal cause for concern? She needed to think about things a little more before bringing it up to them.
With another small sigh, she opened the crossword puzzle book and began paging through it. As she flipped past each puzzle, she started muttering answers to clues that caught her eye. Setting the puzzle book back on the table, she picked up the teddy bear, settled it on her stomach, and began absentmindedly running her hand over the bear’s soft fur as she turned on the television.
The turning of the five o’clock hour did nothing to make television interesting. At least the syndicated sitcoms were coming on, so Casey left the television on an episode of The Nanny, just for the noise. A few minutes later, Cheryl pushed the curtain back and greeted the ADA with a smile. “The medicine making you sleepy yet?”
“A little,” Casey replied, returning the nurse’s smile. “I was going to try to take a nap a little later.”
“As good a plan as any.” Cheryl crossed to the other side of the bed and started taking the bag of saline down from the IV stand. “Time to change the IV bag. Where’d you get the teddy bear?”
“My friends brought him in for me. Olivia gave me the books, Elliot gave me the bear.”
“He’s cute.”
“He’s soft, too.”
Cheryl chuckled. “Well, the teddy bear’s cute, too, but I was talking about your friend Elliot. He has nice eyes.”
Casey grinned, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. “I’m going to tell him you said that!”
The nurse gave Casey a panicked stare, trying to determine if she was being serious or not. “Don’t you dare.”
“Oh, come on. He’ll appreciate it!”
“Casey, I mean it. Unless of course you want it to hurt every day when I change out the IV.”
“You’d purposely inflict pain on a patient?” Casey teased. “How very unethical of you.” Cheryl shot her a grin, which caused Casey to chuckle. She sat in silence while Cheryl finished up what she was doing, wondering if she should ask the nurse if Maddie’s situation sounded strange, in her professional opinion. Taking a quick breath, she decided to just ask before she thought better of it and changed her mind. “Hey, Cheryl, can I ask you something?”
“Anything for my favorite patient.”
Casey smirked; now Cheryl was bestowing the favorite patient status on her half-seriously, half-sarcastically. “You used to work pediatrics, right?”
“That was a lifetime ago, dear, but yes, I did.”
“Would you think it was weird if a little girl was really sick and her parents weren’t in the hospital with her?”
“Are the parents working?”
“I don’t know about the mom. The dad’s not in the picture anymore. But even if the mother worked during the day, why isn’t she there in the evenings? Or vice versa. If she works nights, why isn’t she there during the day? Or at the very least having a relative or family friend go and spend like, a half-hour with the kid?”
Cheryl paused, trying to read Casey’s face to see just what she was looking for in an answer. “So, wait, no adult has visited this little girl in … God only knows how long? How old is the girl?”
“Eight.”
Suddenly, Cheryl’s eyes reflected a deep understanding, not only of why Casey was questioning her but also why the ADA had been so quiet since her meeting with the little girl earlier in the afternoon. “Yes, I would think it’s weird. Maddie said her mom hadn’t been to see her, didn’t she.”
It was a statement, not a question. Casey nodded and sighed, averting her eyes from Cheryl’s and staring down at the teddy bear instead. “I want to find out more about what’s going on with that little girl, but I don’t know what to do. I mean, what if I report it to ACS and I’m wrong? What if there’s a logical explanation for everything? I’ve seen ACS in action, Cheryl. Once an investigation starts, there’s no taking it back, no turning back the clock. It’s not like I can just say, ‘Oops, sorry’ if things come up clean. Every time someone looks up information on the family, they’re going to see that there was an investigation of possible child neglect.
“Not only that, but countless times I’ve told Olivia and Elliot that they can’t just go investigating something based on their gut instinct. I’m a lawyer; we need evidence. The fact that Maddie’s situation sounds strange based on a three-minute conversation isn’t exactly a sound legal reason to start a serious investigation.”
Cheryl nodded, sitting down at the foot of Casey’s bed. “I understand your hesitation, Casey, I do. But you’re getting these instincts and inklings for a reason. Something isn’t sitting right with you, and I know you can’t quite put your finger on what it is, but that doesn’t automatically mean you’re wrong. And I get that you’re worried about what would happen if you are wrong, but what if you’re not? When that little girl has her surgery and goes home, she’s going to need to be cared for properly. Otherwise, she’s going to wind up back here sicker than she was before. So, weigh the options: an inconvenience to the family if you’re wrong, saving a little girl’s life if you’re not.
“If you’re worried about looking hypocritical, don’t start a formal investigation yet. Dig around a little first, off the record. I’m sure your detective friends won’t mind checking it out for you, if only for your own peace of mind.”
After letting what Cheryl had said sink in, Casey looked up to meet the nurse’s eyes. “You’re right. I’ll talk to Olivia when she calls tonight. Listen, I know there are confidentiality laws, but is there anything you can tell me about Maddie?”
“I don’t know much more than I’ve already told you,” Cheryl replied with an apologetic shrug. “I was out of pediatrics long before Maddie started becoming a regular up there. I do know that her full name is Madelyn Donovan, but you’d learn that just by going up to her room, so I didn’t just break any confidentiality laws.” She gave Casey a teasing smile. “Hopefully, that’ll be enough to give you guys a place to start.”
“Thanks so much, Cheryl.” Casey smiled, then hid a yawn behind her hand.
“Don’t mention it.” Cheryl stood up and collected the empty IV bag. “Now that’s off your mind, you should try to get some sleep; you look exhausted.”
“I am kind of tired,” Casey replied with a nod. She turned off the television and snuggled under the covers as much as she could, allowing her eyes to slide shut. The last thing she heard before drifting off into a light sleep was Cheryl drawing the curtain closed.
-----
As Olivia bit into the roast beef sandwich Munch had picked her up on his way back into the squad room, she picked up the phone on her desk and started dialing. She didn’t have much time; as it was, she was eating her dinner at eight o’clock in the evening while sitting at her desk, surrounded by phone records and financial statements. So she had to multitask: unfortunately, the phone call and dinner had to be at the same time. Fin and Munch exchanged a mischievous glance and Munch nodded to his partner, allowing him to have first go. “Yo, Benson,” Fin said loudly, “tell your girlfriend we hope she’s feeling better.”
Olivia rolled her eyes, taking the receiver down and away from her mouth. “I’m not even dignifying that with a response.”
“See, the thing about saying that is you had to respond to tell him you weren’t giving him a response,” Munch pointed out dryly.
“Shut up, John.” Olivia focused her attention on her phone call, ignoring the guys’ teasing for the time being.
She was getting ready to hang up and try again in a few minutes, but the fourth ring was cut short as Casey picked up the phone. “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me. Were you sleeping?”
“No.” Casey cleared her throat and Olivia could hear the muffled sounds of the sheets moving as she shifted position in bed. “I forgot where I put the damn phone. I just tried to answer the remote control.”
Olivia chuckled; she could envision the look of annoyance that had to have been on Casey’s face at the moment. “As long as the remote control doesn’t start answering you back, Counselor.”
“Funny. So what’s up?”
“Nothing much, aside from the fact that I’m never going to see the inside of my apartment again. How are you feeling?”
“Kind of crappy, actually. They took the Demerol down a little, so I’m in a bit of pain. Next time Janice comes in, she’s giving me something to help me sleep.”
“I thought your nurse’s name was Cheryl,” Olivia said, confused.
“It is, but Cheryl doesn’t work twenty-four-seven, Liv. She’s the day nurse. Actually, she worked a shift and a half today and left at seven.” There was a pause on the line, and Olivia could hear a slight intake of breath. “Olivia, I need to ask you something.”
“Shoot.” There was another pause, longer than the one before. Olivia frowned in confusion. “Casey, you still there?”
“Yeah. Listen, this is going to sound insane, okay? Or at the very least like the ramblings of a sick lawyer on narcotics, and maybe it is, but there’s something going on with Maddie and I don’t know--”
“Whoa, Casey, start at the beginning.” Olivia rested her elbows on her desk, holding the receiver tightly against her ear. “Who the hell is Maddie?”
“She’s a little girl I met today. Eight years old, having surgery to correct a heart murmur. I was talking with her and she said that no one had been to see her in five days. And it’s just weird, you know? I mean, if my eight-year-old were awaiting heart surgery, I’d sure as hell be in that room with her as much as I could.”
Olivia was still slightly confused. “I thought you had a question.”
Casey groaned in exasperation. Normally, she was so good with her words. She blamed the medication. “Can you check up on her for me? Unofficially? Something isn’t sitting right with me and I know I’ve told you a million times before that you can’t just go off half-cocked based on an instinct, but--”
“No, it’s fine.” Olivia nestled the receiver between her ear and her shoulder and rifled through the paperwork on her desk for a scrap piece of paper. She came across a paper football, rolled her eyes while she unfolded it, and grabbed a pencil. “What’s the girl’s name?”
“Madelyn Donovan,” Casey answered, the relief evident in her voice. “I don’t know anything else about her, but how many eight-year-old Madelyn Donovans awaiting heart surgery can there be?”
Smirking, Olivia set the pencil aside. “I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry.”
“Thanks so much.” Casey let out a small sigh. “Liv, I have to go. Janice just came in and she’s got my medicine ready.”
“Okay. Sleep tight, hon.”
“Thanks. You too, when you get a chance to conk out for a bit.”
“Yeah, in the wee hours,” Olivia replied, her tone bitter. “G’night.” She waited until Casey hung up, then she set the receiver back down in its cradle and glanced up at Elliot, who was mischievously raising an eyebrow at her. “What?”
“Nothing,” he answered, nonchalantly going back to his work. “How is she?”
“She’s doing all right. They decreased her pain meds, but they’re giving her something to help her sleep through the night.” She exhaled softly and ran her fingers through her hair. “She wants us to check up on a little girl for her. Name’s Madelyn Donovan, she’s on the pediatric unit at Hudson Medical, says she’s been alone, save for the nurses, for five days. Casey’s a little concerned with why the parents aren’t with her.”
“Could she just be overreacting?” Elliot asked, taking the paper with Olivia’s notes from her hand. “She certainly doesn’t have much to go on.”
Olivia shrugged. “It’s possible that she’s overreacting, but I also think it’s something worth checking out in case she’s not.”
Elliot hesitated, trying to determine if Olivia really thought it was something worth checking out or if she just agreed to do it because Casey had wanted her to. He supposed in the end it didn’t matter. She was his partner, and partners backed each other. “All right. We’ll go in tomorrow, talk to the little girl, see what she says. See if there’s something to this and then we’ll figure out our move from there.”
Olivia smiled her thanks and took another bite of her sandwich.
Fin, who had been listening in on Olivia and Elliot’s conversation, eyed Olivia incredulously. “Damn, the girl’s got you doing extra work? She’s certainly got you wrapped around her little finger.”
“She does not,” Olivia insisted. “She really sounded concerned by this and she may be onto something.”
Munch glanced from Olivia to Fin, who was still staring at her, completely unconvinced. “I have to agree with my partner. You’re whipped, Benson,” Munch said, giving her a barely noticeable smirk.
Olivia opened her mouth to argue further but stopped herself, realizing they were trying to get her aggravated. Instead, she smiled sweetly as she stood up from her chair, collecting the trash on her desk. “I’ll make sure you two are the first to get the wedding invitations.”
-----
Elliot slowed the squad car to a stop in front of a red light and glanced over at his partner. The two were on their way to Hudson Medical to question Madelyn Donovan as Casey had asked, though Elliot still wasn’t convinced that it was at all necessary. “Do you really think there’s reason to be concerned about Madelyn?” he asked, gently breaking the nervous silence in the car.
“I’m not sure,” she answered, turning her head to look him in the eye, “but I suppose all that matters is that she is concerned, whether we think she has reason to be or not.”
Elliot nodded and turned his attention back to the road just as the light changed to green. As he pressed his foot onto the gas pedal, Olivia’s cell phone rang, startling her. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her pull her phone out of her pocket, frown at the caller ID, and flip it open. “Benson,” she said, trying to keep the confusion out of her voice.
He kept one eye on the road and one eye on Olivia. Suddenly, the color drained from her face as she listened to whomever was on the other end of the line. “Thank you. We’re on our way.” She snapped the phone shut and brought her hand to her forehead. “Shit!”
“What is it?” he asked, both worried and confused.
“Casey’s fever spiked four degrees overnight … it’s up to a hundred and four and rising.”
“What? Do they know why?”
“No. Cheryl had just paged the doctor before she called me.” Olivia turned her head to look out the window, avoiding her partner’s gaze. “Shit. I knew she was sicker than she was letting on. How the hell did her fever get that high?”
“Relax,” Elliot said comfortingly. “Don’t panic until we know what we’ve got, all right?”
Olivia took a deep breath, held it for a moment, then nodded as she exhaled. “Yeah, all right. Just get there.”
Elliot got to the hospital in record time, so fast that he actually wondered how he didn’t break any traffic laws in the process. Olivia jumped out of the car before he had even turned off the engine. “Whoa, Liv, wait up!” He quickly turned off the car and followed her, finally catching up to her at the front door of the hospital.
Hurriedly, Olivia headed to the elevators and pushed the call button. She tapped her foot impatiently while she waited for the elevator car to reach the lobby. Elliot just sighed softly and rested a comforting hand on his partner’s shoulder. Olivia managed a small, grateful smile as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. The two of them stepped onto the elevator and Olivia pressed the button for Casey’s floor. As the doors closed, Olivia leaned against the wall, her hands behind her back. “I’m scared, Elliot,” she spoke up softly, regretting it almost as soon as it was out of her mouth.
“I know,” he said quietly. He looked her over; she was staring down at her shoes, kicking her heel against the wall. Gently lifting her chin with his finger, he gave her a small, comforting smile. “I am, too.”
Olivia smiled back and let out a small sigh. The rest of the trip was made in a nervous silence. As soon as the doors opened on the correct floor, Olivia got off the elevator and swiftly made her way down the hall to Casey’s room with Elliot on her heels. When they got to Casey’s room, Olivia went in first, gesturing for Elliot to stay back a little. He obliged her, staying in the doorway while she half-disappeared around the curtain. However, when he saw her tense up, he hurried into the room and stood at her side.
When he got there, he saw that Casey was asleep and tossing restlessly, turning her head from side to side and muttering incoherently under her breath. Cheryl was holding a cold compress to her forehead and whispering comfortingly that everything was going to be okay. After standing still for a moment, Olivia stepped forward, settled herself in the visitor’s chair, and slipped her hand into Casey’s, running her thumb over the back of Casey’s hand. “Is she okay?” she whispered to Cheryl.
“The fever’s making her delirious,” Cheryl answered. “I just gave her a mild sedative to calm her down; it should be taking effect any moment now.”
Elliot stepped forward as well, standing behind Olivia. He had only once seen a fever affect someone like that; Maureen had come down with a bad case of the flu when she was five. It scared him then and it was scaring him now. “Is she actually saying anything?”
“It’s nonsense,” Cheryl replied with a small shake of her head. “I did make out ‘I don’t want to’ a couple of times, but for the most part, it’s gibberish.”
Olivia glanced back down worriedly at Casey, tightening her grip on the ADA’s hand just as Casey started whimpering in her sleep. She pulled her hand out of Olivia’s and rested it on the pillow next to her cheek. Olivia once again took her hand and began whispering soothingly in her ear, trying to calm her. After a moment, Casey quieted down; she stopped stirring and muttering, resting her head against the hand that was intertwined with Olivia’s. “Looks like you’ve got the golden touch, Liv,” Elliot whispered.
“I’m sure it had more to do with the medicine than with me,” she answered quietly. She gave Casey’s hand a light squeeze, then slipped her hand free and stood. “Cheryl, what happened?”
Cheryl stepped around the bed and led the two detectives away from Casey a little so as not to disturb her. “I’ve been watching her fever for a couple of days now because I thought it was unusual that it hadn’t broken yet. When I left last night, it was a hundred even. Janice kept her eye on her for me, and when she checked it at four-thirty this morning, it was at a hundred and one, which was fine; her temperature’s been fluctuating a degree or two since she’s been here. When I got in this morning at seven, she was awake and complaining she was cold. I got her an extra blanket and checked her temperature; it had gone up to a hundred and two. I gave her some Tylenol to help bring the fever down. I checked on her again at nine, found her sweating and mumbling but she wasn’t responding when I called her name. I paged the doctor 911 and then I called you.”
“Was it a relapse?” Elliot asked, still confused.
Cheryl nodded. “You can just hear the fluid in her lungs when she inhales. Doctor Kohler switched her antibiotic and put her on Tylenol with codeine instead of the Demerol, which should help break the fever.”
“But she’s going to be okay, right?” Olivia asked, glancing over at Casey worriedly.
“She’ll be fine,” Cheryl assured her. “She just needs to take it easy for a few more days.”
Olivia nodded, her concerned gaze never leaving Casey. “Thanks, Cheryl.”
“No problem.” Cheryl gave them both a comforting smile, touching Olivia’s shoulder gently. “I have to go finish my rounds, but you two are more than welcome to stay with her.”
“We actually have business to attend to upstairs,” Elliot said, clearing his throat and nudging Olivia’s shoulder in an attempt to get her to move, “but we’ll be back down in a little while to sit with her.” Cheryl gave a quick nod and left the two detectives on their own.
Once she was gone, Elliot nudged Olivia again. “C’mon, we have to go talk to Madelyn.” Olivia hesitated a moment, clearly reluctant to leave Casey alone. “Liv, she’s going to be out for a while, and we promised her we’d talk to this little girl. Which do you think she’d rather have us do, spend our time sitting here with her while she’s sleeping or trying to get to the bottom of Madelyn’s case?”
Sighing, Olivia realized that Elliot was indeed correct. She turned around on her heels and headed for the door. “Let’s go.”
-----
Maddie switched on her television and tuned it to the all-cartoon channel. Her favorite cartoon was about to come on, which only slightly made up for the fact that Linda wouldn’t let her go downstairs for her walk. She had begged and pleaded with Linda to let her go downstairs and try to find Casey, the nice lady she had been talking with the day before, but Linda had told her she had to stay put. Ordinarily, Linda had no qualms about letting her leave the floor for a little while, so Maddie had no idea why she wasn’t allowing her to leave today.
All she really wanted to do was go home. She was sick of the hospital, tired of being poked and prodded and stuck with needles, and fed up with being alone. At least if she was home, she could spend her time with Mrs. Miller, the lady who lived next door. But if she couldn’t go home, she could at least have been allowed to wander around for a bit. With a frustrated groan, she pulled the tray table closer to her and started drawing a picture for Casey with the crayons Linda had given her. She hoped Casey like flowers because that’s what she could draw best.
She had just started on the third flower when there was a quiet knock on the door. Maddie looked up to see Linda standing in the doorway with two people that Maddie didn’t know, a man and a woman. She frowned in confusion as Linda led the strangers into the room. “Maddie, you have visitors if you’re up for it.”
Bewildered, the little girl gave a nod and put down her purple crayon. She pushed the tray table away and turned off the television, then darted her eyes between the man and the woman. What could these two strangers possibly want with her? She glanced back at Linda, who gave her a comforting smile. “I’ll be right outside if you need me,” the nurse said, then headed for the door.
The woman waited until Linda left the room, then she settled in the chair next to Maddie’s bed. “Hi, Maddie, my name’s Olivia, and this is my friend Elliot.”
“Hi, Maddie,” Elliot said, giving her a warm smile.
“Hi.” Maddie nervously looked from the man to the woman, wondering why they were there talking to her.
“You don’t have to be scared, sweetie,” Olivia said soothingly. “Casey’s a friend of mine and she wanted us to come talk to you.”
“Is she okay?” Maddie asked, sitting up a little straighter in bed. “I wanted to go down and visit her, but Linda won’t let me, and I know she was talking to Cheryl this morning--”
“She’s okay,” Elliot assured her. “She asked us to come talk to you because she’s very worried about you. Has anyone else been to visit you today?”
Maddie looked down at her hands and began nervously rubbing her left thumbnail with her right thumb. “No. No one comes to visit me.”
“Not even your neighbors or your mom?”
Shaking her head sadly, Maddie continued to avert her eyes. “No one comes to see me. It’s always like this when I have to stay here.”
“Is your mom at work now?”
Maddie shrugged. “I don’t know. I never know. Sometimes … sometimes I think she likes when I have to be here because then she doesn’t have to take care of me. She loves me, I know it, but sometimes I think she doesn’t want me.”
Elliot reached out and rested her hand comfortingly on the little girl’s arm. “I’m sure she wants you. It’s just hard when your kid is sick; some people just don’t deal with it very well.” He gave her a comforting smile.
Maddie nodded and took a deep breath.
“What about when you’re at home, sweetie?” Olivia asked, gently steering the conversation back on topic. “Does your mom take care of you when you’re at home?”
“She works a lot,” Maddie answered hesitantly. “I spend a lot of time after school with Mrs. Miller, my next-door neighbor. She’s older, like my grandmother, but she’s a lot of fun. She taught me how to draw.”
“She did?”
Maddie nodded proudly, then reached over to the tray table and pulled the white paper off of it, showing the picture to Olivia. “She taught me how to draw trees and lakes and skies, too. But flowers are my favorite. I’m the best at flowers. I’m drawing that for Casey.”
Olivia smiled, obviously impressed by the eight-year-old’s drawing. “It’s very pretty. I’m sure Casey will love it.”
Maddie beamed as Olivia handed her back the drawing. “Thanks.”
“You’re quite welcome.” Olivia glanced up at Elliot, who gave her a barely noticeable nod, telling her to go ahead with the questioning. “How much time do you spend with your mom?”
The smile fell from the little girl’s face at Olivia’s question. “I-I don’t know. Not as much as some kids, but still a lot.”
“How late do you usually stay at Mrs. Miller’s?” Elliot asked. He wondered if Maddie would give him a straighter answer if he rephrased the question.
“Till five,” she replied, her tone cautious. “Then I go home to eat dinner. Sometimes Mom’s home and sometimes she’s not.”
“Do you know how to make yourself dinner?”
“Uh huh. I’m really good at macaroni and cheese.”
Elliot nodded and glanced over at his partner. He could tell she was still waffling between believing Maddie was being neglected and believing Maddie’s mother worked late. He met her eyes and silently told her to wrap up the interview so they could talk.
Olivia gave him a small nod back, indicating that she understood. She turned her attention back to Maddie and gave the little girl a warm smile. “Maddie, thank you for talking with us. I hope you feel better, hon.”
“Thanks.” A confused look crossed Maddie’s face for a moment. She really didn’t understand why Casey had asked them to come talk to her about her mother, but she didn’t question it. “Tell Casey I hope she feels better, too.”
“We will,” Elliot smiled. He waited while Olivia touched the girl’s arm comfortingly and then stood, sidling up next to her partner. “Bye, hon.”
“Bye,” Maddie answered, pulling the tray table closer to her again and picking up her crayon. She stared at the door as Elliot and Olivia left, wondering what their conversation had meant. They had asked a lot of questions about her mother, but she wasn’t sure why. But if Casey had sent them because she was worried, they had to be good guys. At least that was what she hoped.
She turned the television back on and was happy to find that her favorite cartoon was still on. Hopefully, that would take her mind off of the uncertainty that the conversation with Elliot and Olivia had stirred up. More than anything, she just wanted her mother to come and visit her, just so that she was sure that she loved her.
-----
Casey slowly became aware of the fact that she was shivering. She tried to reach down to pull the covers up around her shoulders but her right hand was gripped in someone else’s. Moaning groggily, she pulled her hand free and tugged the blanket to her chin. She relaxed her muscles and was just drifting off again when she heard someone whispering. Wrinkling her nose, she stretched her legs and inhaled as deeply as she could. The breath caused her chest muscles to ache; she groaned in pain. “It’s okay, Casey,” she heard someone whisper. Olivia? It sounded like her. “Just relax.”
“I can hear you,” she mumbled sleepily, “but I can’t see you.”
“Can you open your eyes?” It was definitely Olivia.
She shook her head and tried to take another deep breath. That one hurt as well. “Can’t … oh God, it hurts … so cold.”
“Shh, it’s all right,” Olivia whispered soothingly. “It’s going to be all right.” Casey heard the chair creak and then Olivia hiss to someone else, “Go get Cheryl.”
“No,” Casey muttered. She flinched in pain as she inhaled. Goddammit that hurts so much, she thought.
“It’s okay, hon,” Olivia assured her. She reached forward and started brushing the ADA’s hair off her forehead. The gesture was soothing, so much so that Casey felt herself nodding off again. Olivia began whispering … something in Casey’s ear; Casey couldn’t understand what she was saying. She wasn’t quite sure why she couldn’t understand, but she didn’t care. All she wanted to do was go back to sleep.
Very faintly, Casey heard footsteps--no, two sets of footsteps--enter the room. Three separate voices began conversing, but she couldn’t understand a word of it. Her sudden inability to comprehend a simple conversation was starting to frighten her. She whimpered, trying to force her eyes open and failing.
“Casey.”
She recognized the voice as Cheryl’s. Rousing herself as much as she could, Casey tried to answer her. All she could manage was a groan.
“It’s okay,” Cheryl continued softly. Something wet and cold touched Casey’s forehead--a facecloth?--which only made her shiver even more than she already was. “I had to give you a sedative earlier and that’s what making it so hard for you to wake up.”
She relaxed a little, despite her chattering teeth. Her head turned to the side as she started drifting into unconsciousness. “Casey, stay with me,” Cheryl said sternly.
Whimpering again, she took as deep a breath as she could manage without her chest muscles protesting and tried once more to open her eyes. After a minute or so, she succeeded. As soon as her eyelids fluttered open, Olivia leaned forward in the chair and gripped her hand. “Hey, sweetie.”
“Hi,” Casey answered groggily. “What … why…” She let out a frustrated sigh, annoyed that she couldn’t seem to think of what she wanted to say. She hadn’t been good with her words in days, and it was starting to aggravate her. “What … are you guys … why are you here?” She closed her eyes for a moment in embarrassment. She sounded like she was drunk, and the question had come across as rude rather than curious.
Olivia glanced up at Cheryl, concern swimming in her eyes, then turned her attention back to Casey and smiled warmly. “We’re here to see how you’re doing.”
“I’m okay.” There, she thought triumphantly. She’d managed a full sentence. Granted, it was only two words and it wasn’t the truth, but who really cared? She pulled her hand out of Olivia’s, rested it on the mattress, and pressed down, attempting to push herself up into a sitting position. Her muscles tightened at the effort, causing a sharp pain to shoot through her chest. Whimpering partly in pain but mostly in defeat, she leaned her head back against the pillow.
“Hang on, kiddo,” Elliot said softly. He reached down around the guard rails and pressed the button that slowly raised the head of the bed.
“Thanks,” Casey replied softly, a grateful smile spreading across her lips. “Can I have another … I’m cold.” Why the hell couldn’t she find her words easily? There was a heavy fog in her head, and she wasn’t sure why; it couldn’t have just been from the medication Cheryl said she had to give her. But why did Cheryl have to give her a sedative at all? “Damn it.”
“What’s the matter?” Cheryl asked, quickly checking the ADA’s temperature.
Casey frowned, trying to think of how to explain the cloudiness in her head. Her mind was so muddled that she couldn’t even think straight. “Can’t talk … I can’t think of the words.”
“Well, it’s partly because I had to give you a sedative a little bit ago,” Cheryl explained, frowning at the thermometer, “and it’s partly because your fever is still running pretty high. It’s hovering at a hundred and three right now, which is better than it was but still too high for my liking. I’m going to get you an extra dose of Tylenol. Will you be all right if I leave you for a second?”
Casey nodded, an embarrassed blush coloring her cheeks. It was bad enough that her colleagues were seeing her at her most vulnerable; she hated appearing so dependent on someone else. As Cheryl tiptoed around the bed and disappeared behind the curtain, Casey glanced over at Olivia and cringed at the concern and worry creasing the detective’s face. “Don’t worry about me, Olivia. I’m okay.”
“You’re talking better,” Olivia said softly.
“I’m waking up a little more. The fog’s going away,” she explained. “When I first woke up, I could hear you guys talking, but I couldn’t understand anything you were saying.” She repositioned herself so that she was sitting up a little straighter and pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders in an effort to stop her teeth from chattering. “I am so damn cold.”
Elliot reached forward and rested the back of his hand on her forehead. “Shit, Casey, you’re still burning up.”
“You say that like it’s supposed to make me not be cold.” Casey gave him a small smile to indicate that she was just teasing him and snuggled further under the blanket. She could tell that he and Olivia both were extremely worried about her, and it annoyed her. She appreciated the fact that they cared enough to be worried, but she didn’t want them worrying. She’d be fine in a few days and then everything would be back to normal. She looked from Elliot to Olivia and sighed. “Guys, seriously, I’m fine. Don’t worry. Please.”
“Honey, we care about you,” Olivia replied quietly. “That’s why we worry.” She blinked quickly, trying to wipe the concern off her face for Casey’s sake, and decided to change the subject. “We went to see Maddie this morning.”
“How is she?” Casey asked, the curiosity lighting her eyes. “What do you think? Is she okay?”
“Whoa, one question at a time,” Elliot chuckled. “She’s doing all right; she asked about you, though. Linda wouldn’t let her come down and see you, and when we told her we were friends of yours, she asked us if you were okay.”
“Why wouldn’t Linda let her come down?” Casey wondered aloud.
“I told her not to let Maddie come see you,” Cheryl said as she pushed the curtain aside.
The nurse handed Casey two tablets in a small white cup and a glass of water. In one quick motion that had become frighteningly natural over the past five days, Casey downed the pills with a sip of water. She gave both cups back to Cheryl and frowned. “Why not? It’s not like I’m contagious.”
“I didn’t want her seeing you like that; you were really out of it,” Cheryl replied softly. “Hell, you were even scaring me a little, never mind an eight-year-old. Once we get your temperature back under control, she can come down and see you.”
A confused frown quickly crossed Casey’s face. “Was I really that bad?”
“Yeah, you were really that bad,” Olivia said, tenderly taking Casey’s hand. “When we came in, you were sound asleep but muttering nonsense.”
“Oh.” She didn’t remember any of it; the last thing she remembered was asking Cheryl for a blanket earlier that morning.
“Well, you’re awake now, so that’s all that matters,” Cheryl said, sensing that Casey was uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking. She rested the back of her hand against Casey’s cheek for a moment, seeing how hot her skin still was to the touch, then gave all three people in the room a smile. “I have to get back to work. I’m telling you, I’ve spent more time in this room since this one’s been here than I have in all my years working this floor.”
Casey grinned, the relief at the subject change evident on her face. “Yeah, ninety percent of that time is spent shooting the shit.”
“Oh, totally. You are my favorite patient, after all.” Cheryl shot her a comforting smile. “I’ll be back to check on you in a bit.”
Casey waited until she was sure Cheryl was out of earshot before continuing to question Elliot and Olivia about their interview with Maddie. “So, what’s the verdict? Am I completely insane or is Maddie really being neglected?”
“Well, you’re completely insane regardless of whether Maddie’s being neglected,” Olivia teased, “but if you want a serious answer to the question, we’re not sure yet. Maddie stays the afternoons with her next-door neighbor, but she goes back home at five. Sometimes the mother’s there, sometimes she’s not. It was hard to tell whether the mother just works late or if she really leaves Maddie alone on purpose. Maddie wasn’t all that straightforward with her answers, but that could have been just because she didn’t know us. Either that or she’s in denial.”
“Did you tell her you’re cops?”
Elliot shook his head. “You wanted this to be unofficial.”
Casey sighed, forgetting for a moment that she had asked them question the girl off the record. “So now what?”
“We’re going to talk to Mrs. Miller, the next-door neighbor,” Olivia answered reassuringly. “Maybe she can give us some insight into this little girl’s home life. We’ll get to the bottom of this for you, Casey.”
“Thank you both so much,” Casey said quietly. She hid a yawn behind her hand and leaned her head back against the pillows.
“You’re quite welcome,” Elliot replied. He surreptitiously nudged Olivia, then smiled at the ADA. “We should let you get some rest. Come on, Liv.”
Olivia gave Casey’s hand a quick, comforting squeeze and then stood from her seat. “I’ll call you this afternoon if we can’t stop by again, okay?”
“Perfect.” Casey sadly watched the two of them exit the room. Suddenly, her eyes began welling with tears. She was so cold and no matter what she did, she couldn’t get warm, she felt rotten, she was lonely, and all she wanted to do was be able to breathe without her chest muscles screaming in protest. She didn’t remember ever having the excruciating chest pain for so long when she’d previously had pneumonia, and she knew for a fact that her fever hadn’t lasted this long. Wearily closing her eyes, she allowed herself to cry quietly and wonder just when the hell she was going to start to feel better.
-----
Elliot pulled the squad car up in front of a tall apartment complex and glanced over at his partner, who had been staring out the window since they had left the hospital. He cleared his throat to get her attention. “So, how do you want to play this? It’s one thing to show up in the hospital room of an eight-year-old and tell her we’re there on a friend’s sayso, but questioning her neighbor is a little different.”
Olivia sighed softly, thinking over her options. Casey had asked them to do this off the record, but Elliot was right; they couldn’t just approach a woman who had never met Casey and tell her that they’re worried about Maddie with no explanation. “Why don’t we tell her that we met Maddie at the hospital while we were visiting a friend and she had mentioned that she missed her mother? We can play it like we’re just trying to find the mother as a favor for the little girl.”
“All right,” Elliot replied, nodding in approval. “You ready for this?”
Olivia groaned quietly as she exited the car. “What are we going to do if we find out that the mother is neglecting her? Casey’ll pitch a fit.”
“If that happens, we’ll open a formal investigation and call ACS.” Elliot slammed his door shut and walked around the car, stepping up next to his partner.
Olivia nodded, glancing up at Elliot and smiling in appreciation. “Let’s go.”
The two detectives entered the apartment complex and scanned the mailboxes for last names. “There,” Elliot said, pointing to two mailboxes. “Donovan, 36; Miller, 37. Next-door neighbors.”
Olivia led the way up to the third floor, glancing around the halls and taking in the small details. The corridors were unusually clean for this section of the city and the place had a very welcoming feel. They came up to apartment 37 and Olivia knocked on the door, hoping the woman wouldn’t be too hesitant to talk to two random strangers.
The front door locks began clicking and the door opened slightly then caught on the chain lock. A woman in her mid-sixties peered out at Olivia and Elliot, frowning in confusion. “Can I help you?”
“Hi, I was just wondering if you’d know where Kim Donovan is,” Olivia said, smiling sweetly.
“I don’t know for sure, but have you tried Hudson Medical? Her daughter’s having surgery.”
“Well, truthfully, ma’am, that’s why we’re looking for her,” Elliot spoke up. “We were visiting a friend of ours in the hospital, and she seems to have made friends with Madelyn. Maddie really misses her mother, and we told her we’d try to find her and get her down to the hospital.”
The woman groaned in disgust. “Hold on.” She closed the door, then Olivia heard the chain sliding and banging down against the doorjamb. A second later, the door opened again and the woman invited the two detectives into the apartment. “Come on in.”
“Thank you,” Olivia said. “My name’s Olivia, and this is Elliot. We’re sorry to barge in on you like this, but--”
“No, it’s all right,” Mrs. Miller replied, holding up her hand to quiet Olivia. “My name’s Shirley Miller. Is Maddie doing all right?”
“She’s doing as well as can be expected,” Elliot answered, taking a seat on the sofa. He glanced up at Olivia as she sat down next to him and smiled when Shirley sat down across from the two of them.
“That poor little thing,” Shirley said, shaking her head. “Kim doesn’t look out for her, so I try to. She stays with me when she gets out of school, but I don’t drive and I’m on a fixed income, so when she goes into the hospital, I can’t get down there to see her.”
“What do you mean, Kim doesn’t look out for her?” Olivia asked, her heart dropping.
“She stays out till all hours, makes Maddie fend for herself for meals. That little girl puts herself to bed eight times out of ten.” Shirley shook her head and sighed softly. “I wish I could do more for her.”
Olivia closed her eyes and dropped her head in disappointment. Elliot comfortingly rested his hand on her knee before addressing the older woman. “Mrs. Miller, have you ever called the police or children’s services about Maddie?”
The woman averted her eyes, ashamed. “No. When Kim’s around, she’s really a good mother. She’s just not around a lot.”
“With all due respect, ma’am,” Elliot spoke up quietly, “that’s the problem. Especially now with Maddie having surgery … she needs someone to care for her.” Elliot felt a twinge of guilt when the older woman looked down, suitably chastised. “Mrs. Miller, we didn’t mean to intrude and we didn’t mean to suggest anything. We were just wondering if you knew how to get in touch with Kim.”
“I can give you her work number,” Shirley said, standing up and walking over to her phone. She wrote something down quickly on a small piece of paper and walked back over to the two detectives. She slipped the paper into Elliot’s hand. “If she’s not there, I have no idea where she is. I hope for that little girl’s sake that do you find her.”
“Thank you,” Olivia said, smiling as she stood up from her seat on the sofa.
“Will you tell Maddie I’m thinking of her?” Shirley asked as she walked Elliot and Olivia to the door.
“Sure thing,” Elliot replied with a smile. “Thank you for your help.”
Once the detectives were out in the corridor and out of earshot of Mrs. Miller’s apartment, Olivia sighed. “Looks like Casey’s instincts were right. That poor little girl.”
Elliot comfortingly rested his hand on his partner’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. “We’ll call ACS and let them handle it. Now, the really hard part: how do you want to tell Casey?”
Olivia hesitated, mulling over her options. “Let me do it,” she said after a moment. “I’ll go to the hospital on my dinner break and tell her.”
-----
Olivia took a nervous breath in as she headed down the corridor to Casey’s hospital room. She was not looking forward to having to tell the ADA that Maddie was indeed a victim of neglect and that the case was now in the hands of ACS. She knew Casey well enough to know that she wouldn’t let go of the case that easily and that she wouldn’t trust ACS to watch Maddie closely enough after her surgery. Olivia was dreading just the thought of the turf war Casey was likely to cause with ACS once she found out all the details.
She came up to Casey’s door and knocked quietly. When she didn’t receive an answer, she entered slowly and peeked around the curtain, a smile playing across her lips at what she saw. Casey was sound asleep, one hand resting on the pillow next to her face and the other arm wrapped around the teddy bear Elliot had given her the day before. Her sleep looked peaceful for the first time in days. Olivia didn’t have the heart to wake her, especially with news that would be distressing to her, so she sat down in the visitor’s chair and quietly waited for her to awaken.
There was still a slight whistle in Casey’s breath, and every time she inhaled, Olivia could hear the air moving around the fluid in her lungs. Shaking her head, Olivia reached forward and touched Casey’s cheek, feeling for her fever. Her skin was still hot to the touch, but she was nowhere near as hot as she had been that morning. Suddenly, Casey let out a small sigh and turned her head into Olivia’s hand, nestling Olivia’s palm against her cheek. Casey scrunched her nose at the contact but soon relaxed into it, sighing again.
Olivia gasped, surprised that Casey had so readily become at ease at her touch. She pulled away and gently took Casey’s hand instead; it was a more comfortable position for her and Casey seemed just as relaxed with her hand entwined in Olivia’s. She squeezed Casey’s hand and smiled when, in her sleep, Casey returned the gesture. Olivia unconsciously started running her thumb over the back of Casey’s hand and pulled the chair a little closer to the bed.
After about ten minutes, Casey started getting restless, pulling her hand out of Olivia’s grasp. Olivia reached forward and gently brushed her fingers across Casey’s forehead to calm her. The ADA stirred at her touch, groaning softly and opening her eyes slowly. “Hey, sleeping beauty,” Olivia said quietly, giving Casey a smile.
“Hey,” Casey replied groggily, blushing at the nickname. “How long have you been here?”
“Fifteen minutes,” Olivia shrugged.
“You should have woken me.” Casey’s eyes slid closed as she shifted position in bed, sitting up a little bit.
“But you were sleeping.”
“I’ve been sleeping all day.”
“That’s good; you need it.” Olivia smiled and brushed Casey’s hair out of her eyes before pulling her hand away and sitting back in the chair. “How’re you feeling?”
“Tired.” She forced her eyes open again, turned her head to face the detective, and managed a small smile. “Kind of achy. But I think I’m breathing better. At least I hope so, because my nose is getting dry from the stupid oxygen.”
Olivia smirked; leave it to Casey to find the tiniest thing to complain about. “Could they give you a mask rather than the tube?”
“I think they tried. Cheryl said that I kept pushing it off. I don’t really remember it, though.” Casey suddenly let go of the teddy bear, seemingly realizing for the first time that she was holding it so tightly. “Is Elliot here?”
“No, I’m here by myself,” Olivia replied, smiling. “I got out of work early for the first time in a week, so I decided to come up and see you.”
“You should go home.” Casey caught the hurt look that crossed Olivia’s face for a split second and instantly regretted her wording. “You look exhausted,” she added hastily, “and really, what’s so fun about sitting here with me?”
“You’re a friend of mine and you’re sick,” Olivia answered. “I’m here because I want to be, Casey. Don’t worry about it, okay?”
Casey nodded. “So what’s up? I feel so out of the loop. How did things go with Maddie’s neighbor?”
Olivia paused, reluctant to bring the subject up with the ADA, even though that was part of the reason she had stopped by the hospital after her shift. She was trying to find the right words to break the news as easily as possible when Casey tore her eyes away from Olivia’s and gazed down at her hands. “You know, saying nothing says just as much as trying to find the right way to tell me,” she said quietly. “I was right, wasn’t I?”
“Yeah, hon,” Olivia confirmed, her tone gentle. “I’m sorry.”
Casey nodded, collecting her thoughts and trying to contain her emotions before she spoke again. “What do we do now?”
“We turned the case over to ACS,” the detective replied hesitantly. “It’s not an SVU case anymore, and ACS is better equipped to handle it than we are.”
“Olivia, all ACS is going to do is place her in a group home!” Casey exclaimed, sitting up straighter in bed. “That defeats the entire purpose! She needs to be cared for, Liv, and--”
“Casey, relax,” Olivia said, hoping her calm tone would reassure the ADA a little. “ACS knows the situation requires special care--”
Casey opened her mouth to argue further but coughed instead, quickly bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. The pain from both the cough and the sudden movement tore through her aching chest muscles and caused her to involuntarily cry out in pain. “Damn it, I am so tired of this,” she muttered, leaning back against the pillows as her eyes welled with tears. Embarrassed, she wiped the tears from her eyes, hoping Olivia hadn’t noticed.
Olivia, however, had noticed. “Oh, honey.” She reached forward to comfort the ADA, but Casey pushed her hand away, still embarrassed. Olivia flinched, slightly hurt that Casey wasn’t allowing her to comfort her. She figured Casey was just self-conscious, but it still upset her. Looking Casey over, she noticed that her left hand was discolored. “Casey, your hand’s all bruised.”
Casey brought her hands down and frowned. “Yeah, it’s from them changing the IVs. Once a day, every day. It kind of hurts.” Sighing wearily, she settled back into the pillows, suddenly unable to keep her eyes open. “We have to do something for Maddie,” she mumbled sleepily as she allowed her eyes to slide closed.
“We will,” Olivia whispered. She stood up from her seat and straightened the covers around Casey’s shoulders. Bending down, she gave Casey a goodnight kiss on the forehead and then ran her thumb across her cheek. “You go back to sleep now.”
Casey smiled slightly at the motherly gesture. “Mmm, I haven’t been tucked in in years.” She snuggled under the covers, unconsciously snaking her arm around the teddy bear. After a moment of silence, just as Olivia was about to head for the door, Casey spoke up softly. “Liv? Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”
“Of course, sweetie.” Olivia sat back down in the chair and took Casey’s hand again, waiting for the ADA’s breathing to even out and deepen. It hurt her to see Casey in so much pain, both emotional and physical, and she wished there was something--anything--she could do to make everything better.
-----
For the first time in six days, Casey had awoken able to breathe normally. Her chest muscles only ached when she yawned or coughed, and she had stopped wheezing with every breath. Cheryl had been so impressed that she had agreed to remove the oxygen tube from her nose for a couple of hours as an experiment of sorts. If her breathing remained normal, the oxygen could stay off, but if her breathing became labored again, she had to put the tube back on. Casey had jokingly asked if the IV could come out, too. Cheryl, in return, had told her not to press her luck.
The television was on, but Casey was paying more attention to the game of solitaire she was playing with a deck of cards Munch had given her a couple days before. It was the first day since he had brought them to her that she had felt well enough to do something more than sit in bed and flip channels on the television. Instead, she was sitting up in bed with the tray table in front of her; it wasn’t much more activity than she had been doing, but she felt a million times better.
With her improved health came an increased aggravation with being in the hospital. She was completely bored and wanted nothing more than to go home and lie in her own bed, wear her own pajamas, and watch her own television. At the very least, she could work on some paperwork if she was in her own space. But Cheryl told her she wasn’t allowed to leave until her lung congestion cleared completely and her fever broke.
As she flipped over the last three cards in the deck, she frowned, realizing she had lost the game. Sighing, she collected the cards and shuffled them. She was about to deal another game when a knock on her door startled her. Jumping slightly, she looked towards the door and smiled when she saw Maddie standing shyly in the doorway with her hands behind her back. “Come on in, sweetie,” Casey said, giving the girl a warm smile.
A smile instantly brightened the little girl’s face as she rushed into the room and pulled a piece of paper from out from behind her back. “Hi, Casey! I drew you a picture.”
“You did?” Casey asked. She curiously took the white paper from Maddie’s hand. It was a crayon drawing of a bouquet of flowers in a vase, and Casey was truly impressed with just how good it was. Each flower had a mixture of colors and the vase was perfectly contoured and shadowed. “Maddie, this is incredible.”
“You really like it?” Maddie asked, sitting down in the visitor’s chair. “I hoped you would. Mrs. Miller taught me how to draw. She’s my next-door neighbor and she’s really cool.”
“This is really amazing, sweetie,” Casey confirmed. She set the picture down carefully on the tray table and pushed the whole table away from the bed so she had a little bit more room to move. “I’ll have Cheryl hang it up for me next time she comes in. How’ve you been?”
“Okay,” Maddie answered with a shrug. “How about you? Linda wouldn’t let me come down and see you yesterday and I was worried.”
“I’m feeling better,” Casey replied. “I had a bad day yesterday and they had to give me a different medicine. I think it’s working, though, better than the old medicine.”
“That’s great,” Maddie said, smiling. Her gaze caught the teddy bear sitting next to Casey and her eyes brightened. “Where’d you get the teddy bear?”
Casey reached down and handed the bear to the little girl. “My friend Elliot gave him to me the other day.”
“He’s so soft! What’s his name?”
“He doesn’t have one yet.”
Maddie turned the bear over in her hands, frowning. After another moment of inspection, she handed the bear back to Casey. “His name should be Charlie.”
“Charlie?” Casey asked, chuckling. “Why Charlie?”
“Why not Charlie?” Maddie shrugged.
“Very good point. Charlie it is,” Casey said. Maddie smiled, then her face fell as she sat back in the chair, nervously swinging her legs under the seat. Casey frowned in confusion at the girl’s sudden change in demeanor. “Maddie, what’s the matter?”
“Well …” Maddie trailed off, sighing. “I’m getting scared.”
It took Casey a moment to get it, but after silently counting back days, she realized that Maddie’s surgery was scheduled for the next day. “Your operation, huh?”
Maddie nodded, taking a nervous breath in and letting it out slowly. “It’s silly.”
“It’s not silly, sweetheart. But you know, there’s nothing to be afraid of. You’re going to be asleep during the whole thing.”
“I know. Linda told me that, too, but …” Maddie sighed again, almost as if she was ashamed of being frightened. “Sometimes I wake up, like in the middle of the night and stuff. What happens if that happens during my operation?”
Casey smiled comfortingly. “It won’t, you know why?” Maddie shook her head, a perplexed expression on her face. “The doctor’s going to give you a special medicine that’s going to make you fall asleep. The medicine won’t let you wake up until they’re done fixing your heart. And then when you do wake up, it’ll be all over and you’ll feel a lot better.”
“You promise?” she asked softly.
“I promise,” Casey answered. Maddie smiled, though Casey could tell she was not fully convinced. Trying to comfort the little girl was proving to be more difficult than she had expected. “What else are you scared of, hon?”
Maddie hesitated, averting her eyes and staring down at her hands. She was obviously afraid to even voice what was on her mind, for fear of making it come true. Sighing quietly, Maddie spoke softly, almost inaudible, “What if my mom doesn’t come tomorrow?”
Casey closed her eyes, completely unsure of what to say to calm the little girl. She wanted to tell Maddie that of course her mother would be there for her on the day when she needs her most, but she also didn’t want to promise the little girl something she wasn’t sure she could deliver. The last thing Madelyn Donovan needed was more broken promises. Damn it, how do Olivia and Elliot do this day in and day out? she wondered silently. “Honey, your mom loves you. I’m sure she’ll come see you.”
“I know she loves me, but sometimes I’m afraid that she likes not taking care of me so much that she won’t come back for me.” Maddie shook her head, blinking back tears. “I can’t talk about this anymore.”
Casey’s heart broke at the little girl’s admission. She longed to just pull Maddie into a hug and hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay. “Come here, sweetie,” she said softly, patting the mattress of the hospital bed.
Initially, Maddie frowned, but after just a moment, she climbed up onto the bed and nestled next to Casey. The ADA wrapped her arm around the little girl and pulled her in closer, hoping against hope that it would comfort her even just a little. “It’s going to be all right. You remember my friends that came to talk to you?” She felt Maddie nod. “Sometimes parents need help taking care of their kids, and Olivia and Elliot know people who can help your mom take care of you.”
“Like Mrs. Miller?” Maddie asked.
“Sort of,” Casey answered. As she was trying to think of the right way to explain children’s services to Maddie, the reality of what she had started with her simple question to Olivia hit her. Her nosiness was going to tear this little girl’s life apart, and regardless of whether she was better off for it in the long-term, what she was going to be put through in the short-term was going to be hell. What have I done? she thought, tears jumping into her eyes.
Maddie, curious as to why Casey had stopped talking, looked up and frowned when she saw the tears in the ADA’s eyes. “Casey, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” Casey replied quickly, clearing her throat. As an apology, she hugged the little girl more tightly.
“Casey?”
“What, sweetie?”
“If my mom doesn’t come tomorrow, will you be with me when I wake up?”
Casey gave Maddie a touched smile. “If they let me sit with you, of course I will.”
Maddie grinned in appreciation, then turned around, resting her head against Casey’s shoulder and pulling Charlie the teddy bear closer to her. Casey, in turn, snuggled closer to the little girl, giving her a small kiss on the top of her head. In that moment, Casey knew just what she had to do.
-----
“Casey, that’s crazy!” Olivia exclaimed into the phone.
“Why is it crazy?” Casey argued, indignation in her voice.
Olivia sighed. She was happy that Casey was feeling better, but she had to wonder if the antibiotics were affecting the ADA’s thought processes. That would be the only explanation for Casey’s idea making any sense to her whatsoever. “Because, Casey, you can’t just take in an eight-year-old. This isn’t like finding a stray cat in an alley.”
“How dare you?” Casey exclaimed. She was trying to sound angry, but Olivia could hear the hurt in her tone. Obviously, her words had stung. “I know that this is a huge decision, and I resent the implication that I’m too naïve to understand that. But it’s perfect, Olivia. She needs someone and dammit, I want to help her.”
“You have helped her,” Olivia replied calmly. “You’ve brought the case to the attention of ACS. That’s all you can do, Casey.”
“No, what I did was set the stage to turn her life upside down. The least I can do is give her a stable home in the meantime.”
The detective closed her eyes, suddenly understanding what was behind Casey’s strong desire to take in Madelyn. “Case, listen to me. This is not your fault. Okay? What you did is going to help her more than you can even imagine. She’s going to be placed with someone who wants her and wants to take care of her. And, most importantly, she’s going to be placed with someone who loves her.”
“But she loves her mother, Olivia. Her mother’s never there for her, she’s afraid that her mom’s not going to show on the day of her surgery, and it all upsets her, but despite it all, she loves Kim Donovan. Surely you of all people can understand that.”
Olivia flinched. She hadn’t expected Casey to throw private conversations about her past back in her face. “Casey--”
“I’m sorry,” she interrupted, cringing. “That was out of line. But the sentiment isn’t. She loves her mother. How can I tell her that she’s going to be taken away from Kim and I’m the one that set it in motion? I know it’s for her own good and I am helping her, but the effects of that are a long way off. And in the meantime, this little girl is going to have her world turned inside out and her life shattered. ‘This is going to help you’ isn’t going to be much comfort.”
Olivia took a deep breath in as she tried to think of a way to reassure Casey that everything was going to work out for the best. “Do you really think you can soften the blow by taking her in? Do you really think you can give her a home? With your schedule, you’d be home less than Kim is--”
“But that’s just it! Branch called me earlier and told me that I was to take the rest of the week off, even if I get out of here day after tomorrow--”
“They really might let you go home on Tuesday?” Olivia asked excitedly.
“Yeah. Fever’s down to ninety-nine and the lung congestion’s almost clear. But that’s beside the point. So I’ll have a full week off to sit home and do nothing. It’s perfect! She’s going to need someone to watch her and I’ll have nothing but free time.”
“Wrong. The point of Branch telling you to take the time off is so you recuperate. It’s not a vacation, Casey.”
“But this was nothing--”
“Casey, stop it. I don’t know if you keep insisting your illness was nothing to make us not worry or if you really believe it. But let me tell you something: this was not nothing. You scared the hell out of us. So when Branch tells you to take the time off, you’re going to be sitting in your apartment watching TV and taking it easy. You’re not going to be running around doing errands, and you’re not going to be taking care of a sick child.”
There was a hesitation on the line as Casey processed the detective’s words. “But I have to do something,” she replied after a moment
The helplessness was obvious in her voice. Olivia instantly felt guilty; the last thing she had meant to do was upset her. “Casey, think about it this way. You’re only going to have free time for a week. Do you really want to take her in for just a week and then ship her off to someone else? Do you think that’s going to do less damage than taking her away from her mother and letting ACS place her? Or will that be one more adult she thought cared letting her down?”
Casey let out a soft sigh. “I don’t know. All I know is Maddie’s about to lose everything that ever meant anything to her and I can’t help but feel like it’s all my fault.”
Olivia glanced around at the walls of her bedroom and sighed. It was the first time she had been home for more than a few hours in a little over a week, and she was about to volunteer to leave it. “You sound like you need a friend. Do you want me to come down there?”
“No,” Casey answered, then hastily added, “I mean, not if you’re busy. I just … I don’t even know.”
“I’ll be there in a half an hour.”
Olivia hung up the phone without waiting for a response. As she grabbed her jacket, she mused about what Munch and Fin would say if they knew she was going down to the hospital again. Perhaps they were right: she was whipped.
I suppose there are worse things to be, she thought, grinning as she closed the door behind herself.
-----
Olivia wasn’t mentally prepared for what she found when she walked into Casey’s hospital room. She knew that Casey was upset, but she never expected to find the ADA curled up on her side in tears. When she had gotten off the phone with her just barely forty-five minutes before, Casey had indeed been upset, but she hadn’t sounded close to hysterics. “Casey?”
Casey flinched and tried to stop crying. She only succeeded in making her breath catch in her throat, causing a coughing fit. Cringing as her chest muscles tensed, she wiped her eyes only to have more tears take their place. “Go home, Olivia,” she managed to sputter between heavy breaths.
“No way in hell.” Olivia rushed to Casey’s side and wrapped her arm around the ADA’s shoulders, forcing her to sit up. “Come on, sit up. You’re going to start wheezing again.” Casey did as she was instructed, taking slow, deliberate breaths. Olivia gently brushed Casey’s hair out of her face and waited quietly until Casey calmed down enough to be able to talk. “What’s the matter?”
Casey shook her head, wriggling out of Olivia’s grasp. Her cheeks were flushed, but Olivia couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed or if they were red from crying. She pulled Casey closer and dried her cheeks with a couple swipes of her thumb. “Casey, I’ve never seen you like this. Something had to have happened.”
Casey looked over at Olivia, her green eyes searching Olivia’s brown ones. “They rushed her into surgery twenty minutes ago.”
“What?” Olivia asked, confused. “Why? What happened?”
Casey just shrugged. “I-I don’t know. Janice just came in and told me, but she can’t tell me the hows or the whys. If she even knows. I don’t even know if she knows.”
“Did she seem worried?”
“Liv, eight-year-olds aren’t rushed into surgery without it being something to be concerned about.” She gave a bitter chuckle and sniffled back her tears. “She was just down here. What the hell could have happened?”
“Did she seem all right when she was with you?”
Casey stopped to think, running a shaking hand through her hair. “Yeah. I mean, she was scared about the surgery, but she was fine. She was teaching me a song about lazy pirates.”
“Lazy pirates?” Olivia asked, confused.
The ADA nodded. “It’s in some cartoon she watches or something. There’s a cucumber, I guess, and he sings silly songs, and one of the songs is about the Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything.”
Olivia raised an eyebrow. “A singing cucumber?”
“Hey, I don’t make the show; I just sort of know the song.” Casey sighed, pulling out of Olivia’s grasp and settling back in bed. She wiped her eyes and swallowed the rest of her tears. “Jesus, I must look awful.”
“You look beautiful,” Olivia replied softly.
“I’m sure I don’t look beautiful,” Casey argued. “I’m sick, I’ve been crying, I haven’t washed my own hair in six days, and while Cheryl does a good job, it--” She stopped, suddenly realizing what Olivia had said. “Wait, what?”
"I said you look beautiful," Olivia repeated. She could hardly believe what was coming out of her mouth, and she wasn't sure if she meant it or if she was just saying it to make Casey feel better. "For someone who's sick and has been crying and hasn't washed her own hair in six days ... you look good."
Casey raised an eyebrow and gave Olivia her patented bemused stare. "What are we doing right now?"
"What, I can't pay my friend a compliment?"
"Well, there's paying a friend a compliment and then there's ..." Casey sighed, shaking her head. "Never mind." She fidgeted, suddenly uncomfortable under Olivia's concerned gaze. "I wonder when we're going to hear something about Maddie."
"Not for a while, probably," Olivia answered, as relieved with the subject change as Casey seemed to be. She had no idea why she had said what she did and she wasn’t quite sure what she had meant by it. “Were they able to get a hold of Kim, do you know?”
“I don’t know,” Casey said with a small shrug.
“You know, if they don’t, that kind of lets you off the hook a little,” the detective said, frowning in thought. “As Maddie’s guardian, Kim needs to sign releases, and if they can’t find her, the hospital will appoint a guardian for her and then turn the case over to ACS.”
“Great,” Casey replied sadly. “So my only hope of not being found out as a rat is that her mother deserts her.”
Olivia opened her mouth to argue that the situation was not at all Casey’s fault, but the pained look on the ADA’s face made her rethink her intentions. Casey didn’t need reassurance at the moment; she needed some sympathy. “Proverbial rock and a hard place, huh?”
“Yeah, just a little.” Casey shook her head, closing her eyes for a quick moment. “Ugh, this is ridiculous. I don’t even really know her! Why do I care so much?”
Olivia sighed quietly and gently took Casey’s hand in hers. “You care because you’re a good person. Why do you think you care so much?”
Gazing down at her hands, anything to keep her eyes from Olivia’s, Casey shrugged. “Because she’s a sweet little kid who doesn’t deserve to be in the situation she’s in. She deserves what every child deserves: someone who truly loves her and can be there for her. And she doesn’t have it, and that bothers me.” At Olivia’s knowing smile, Casey frowned. “But the fact that she deserves parental love isn’t unique. I don’t understand why I connected so much with her. Why did I let myself get involved?”
Olivia tightened her grip on Casey’s hand comfortingly. “Honey, listen. You connected with her for a reason. And I gotta tell you, when I mentioned your name when I interviewed her, her eyes positively lit up, so this isn’t one-sided. Maybe the two of you can just sense something in the other that you’re both looking for.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Casey mumbled thoughtfully. “I just … wish I could do something that would make everything better for her, you know? I wish I could take all her pain from her so she doesn’t have to feel any of it.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” the detective replied, pushing a wayward lock of Casey’s hair out of her eyes.
Casey blushed at the gesture and finally looked up at Olivia, smiling slightly. “You know, I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me this week.”
“When you get out of here, buy me a hot dog and we’ll call it even,” Olivia replied, smiling back.
Casey chuckled. “Okay, deal.” The ADA let out a heavy sigh and leaned her head back against the pillows. “Listen, you don’t have to stay with me. I’m not going to be very good company--”
“That doesn’t matter to me, Casey, you know that.”
“No, I know. But look, you’ve been in this hospital almost as much as I have and you’re exhausted. Go home, get some sleep. There’s no need for you to be here, too. I’m fine, and as soon as I hear something about Maddie, I’ll be even better.”
“Are you kicking me out?” Olivia asked with a teasing pout.
“Yes, I am,” she replied, biting back a giggle. “But seriously, Olivia, I’m okay. I promise, all right? If I need you, I’ll give you a call.”
Olivia gave the ADA a comforting half-smile and ran her finger down Casey’s cheek gently. “All right, hon. Take care of yourself.”
“I will. You, too.”
Olivia headed for the door and looked over her shoulder only once. As hard as it was for her to leave, she knew that Casey was right; it would do no good for her to sit in the hospital and tell Casey that everything would be all right, especially if she had no idea if that was even true. She just had to hope, for Casey’s sake, that it was.
-----
Olivia had barely been at her desk two minutes when her phone started ringing. Got to love Monday mornings, she thought tiredly as she picked up the receiver. “Detective Benson,” she answered.
“You’ll never guess who miraculously showed up at the hospital this morning.”
Flinching a little at the wide-awake tone of the voice on the other end of the line, Olivia rolled her eyes. It’s too damn early for this, Novak, she grumbled silently. “George Clooney.”
“Do I really sound like I’m in the mood for celebrity sightings?”
After a moment of thought, Olivia decided that Casey did not sound like she had just seen a celebrity. In fact, she sounded furious. “Casey, you’ve caught me before my morning coffee …”
Olivia heard the slightest hint of a groan on the line. “This morning, I was sitting in Maddie’s room, keeping her company, and who waltzed in like nothing had ever been wrong but Kim Donovan.”
Suddenly, the detective was wide awake. “What?”
“Yeah. Maddie was all excited and happy that her mom was there, and she introduced us. I’m telling you, it was all I could do to bite my tongue and not smack her teeth in.”
Olivia snorted; Casey certainly sounded livid enough to hit someone, and she didn’t doubt for one minute that Casey could have had Kim out for the count before Kim had even known what was coming. But she was a little puzzled as to why Casey was now championing for this woman’s takedown when all she’d been saying for a week is that she wished Kim would just visit her daughter. “I’m confused. Isn’t this a good thing?”
Casey paused a moment before responding, trying to collect her thoughts. “The fact that she just breezed on back into this little girl’s life after breezing out of it for a week? When she needed her most? How is that a good thing? Jesus, Olivia, are you always this bad without your coffee?”
“I was just wondering why you had a sudden change of heart,” Olivia replied evenly, trying not to throw Casey’s attitude back at her. “All I’ve heard all week is how much you wanted Kim to come to the hospital.”
“That was before Maddie had a heart attack and was rushed into surgery last night and she had to rely on a stranger, namely me, to sit with her in the recovery room because her mother couldn’t be assed to go to the hospital herself. And now that she’s here, all of the bullshit is forgotten.”
Olivia narrowed her eyes and rested her elbows on the desk, massaging her forehead in slight confusion. She understood why Casey was so upset; the hypocrisy of Kim Donovan’s actions and the obvious love the little girl had for her mother despite her mother’s lack of adoration for her was frustrating, to say the least. What she didn’t understand was why Casey was taking it upon herself to be Maddie’s advocate. “Casey--”
“I’m fighting for her, Liv. I’m telling ACS that I want her.”
“We’ve had this conversation before. You can’t take her in.”
“Why the hell not? I’ll love her.”
Olivia sighed; this was not a conversation she wanted to have with Casey over the phone, but the determined inflection in the ADA’s voice necessitated it. “You can’t. ACS will not place her with you.”
There was a hesitation on the line, the space of a heartbeat, then Casey spoke up again with a slightly less edgy tone. “What, you talked to them?”
“I don’t have to. Look, Maddie’s problem right now is that she’s in an environment where her caregiver is either unable or unwilling to give her the proper time and attention, right?”
“Yes,” Casey answered.
“It would be extremely hypocritical of ACS to place her into an environment in which her caregiver works all kinds of crazy hours and is never home if they’re taking her out of the same environment.“
Casey drew in a jagged breath as she tried to find an argumentative stance. “So, what, I can’t have a family now? I have to be the job--”
“Casey, that’s not what I’m saying. It’s just that ACS is hard-pressed to place neglected children in single-parent homes as it is; they’re not going to place her with someone whose hours are as all over the place as yours, especially considering the reason Maddie was called to their attention in the first place.”
When the ADA didn’t say anything, Olivia softened, realizing she had upset her. “Look, Maddie’s going to be hurting, emotionally and physically. It would be an extraordinarily hard adjustment, both for her and for you. And I know you could handle it and that you’d love her as though she were your own and I know she’d love you, too. But the bureaucracy isn’t going to change, no matter how much you want it to.”
“Love isn’t enough.”
The deflated tone in Casey’s voice made Olivia cringe. “It’s not that it isn’t enough. It’s that it isn’t everything.”
Casey cleared her throat, presumably so that she wouldn’t sound upset. “I can’t just leave her here, Olivia. Talk about hypocrisy … turn the kid’s life upside down and then never see her again. What else am I going to do? I have to do something.”
“You still have time to figure something out--”
“No, I don’t. Cheryl told me that I’m a clear chest X-ray away from getting out of here--”
“Really?” Olivia asked, excitedly interrupting the ADA. “That’s great!”
“Great for me, yes, but what the hell am I going to do?”
“Casey, it’s not up to you to save her. You can still visit her while she’s in the hospital, and if you’re nice to ACS, I’m sure they won’t mind allowing you to visit her when she’s placed with a foster family.”
“I don’t want to be the one that swoops in, screws everything up, and then swoops out, leaving everyone else to clean up the mess.”
“But it’s not within your power to clean up the mess, Casey. Stop trying to take this all on yourself and trust that ACS knows what it’s doing.”
“Yeah, I guess.” There were some muffled sounds on the line and Olivia could hear Casey and Cheryl talking. “Liv, I have to go. Chest X-ray time.”
“Okay, hon. Once you find out when you’re going home, call me and I’ll come get you. And Casey? Stop worrying about it.”
“I’ll try. Thanks, Liv.”
“Don’t mention it. Bye.” Olivia hung up the phone and sighed, placing her head in her hands.
“Rough morning?” Elliot asked, nudging her shoulder on his way to his desk.
“Exasperating morning,” she answered, gesturing towards the phone. “She still wants to take Maddie in.”
“So let her try,” Elliot said with a shrug. He plopped into his chair and started rifling through the papers on his desk. “Why are you so adamant that she can’t?”
“Because guilt is not a reason to become a parent to a sick child.”
Elliot looked up at her, narrowing his eyes as he tried to read her. “You don’t believe that she only wants her because she feels guilty. You’re afraid that she’s going to get hurt.”
Olivia set her jaw and tried to pretend that Elliot was wrong, all the while cursing the fact that he knew her so well. Eventually, she gave up the pretending and just nodded. “It wouldn’t work out the way she wants it to. She’s such an idealist and she’s so damn naïve at times. She thinks it’s going to be all happiness and light, and it’s not.”
“You can’t stop her from getting hurt, Olivia, no matter how much you might want to.” He looked her over, then leaned in closer, lowering his voice so that Munch and Fin wouldn’t hear him. “You really care for her, don’t you?”
“We all do, Elliot.”
“I’m speaking in double entendres, Liv.”
Olivia smirked self-consciously. “You should let me know when you’re doing that.”
“And you’re avoiding the question,” Elliot said, smiling. “I’ll take that as an admission.”
“Take it as whatever you want.” Olivia stood up and started walking towards Captain Cragen’s office.
“Where are you going?”
“Casey thinks she’s getting out of the hospital tonight. I want to stay with her tomorrow and I was wondering if Cragen would let me take a vacation day or something.”
Elliot raised an eyebrow at his partner and smiled. “Pretty soon I won’t have to be speaking in double entendres.”
Olivia waited just a moment before throwing a pencil at him.
-----
The overhead light brightened the small but cozy living room as Casey flicked the switch on her way into the apartment. Wearily dropping her duffel bag in the corner next to the door, she headed for the sofa and flopped down on it with a relieved sigh. “Oh, I could kiss the floor right now, but that’s a little disgusting.”
Olivia smiled and closed the door behind herself. “Happy to be home?”
“I really thought I’d never see the inside of this place again.” Casey pulled her legs up underneath herself and hid a yawn behind her hand. She gazed around, taking in the small details she typically took for granted: the strawberry candle that was so strong she had never even lit it, the ticking of the clock in her kitchen, the hum of the refrigerator. “It’s so good to be out of the damn hospital.”
Olivia sat down on the couch next to Casey and nudged her gently. “I’m going to draw you a warm bath and then--”
“No,” Casey interrupted. “I’m too tired for a bath. Just let me take a quick shower and wash up a little, and then we can watch TV or something.”
The detective nodded and watched as Casey disappeared into the bathroom. As she heard the shower turn on, she began flipping channels on the television, trying to find something for her and Casey to watch. After settling on a made-for-television movie, Olivia stood up and started poking through the books on Casey’s bookshelf. She was surprised to find a couple of young adult novels hidden among the law books and school texts that the ADA hadn’t yet thrown away.
She must have been more engrossed in Casey’s bookshelf than she thought she was. A noise from behind startled her and she whirled around, her hand over her heart. Casey was standing in the doorway, pajamas on and drying her hair with a towel. “What are you doing?” the ADA asked, smirking.
“Looking through your stuff,” Olivia answered with an embarrassed smile. “You still have young adult novels?”
“They were my favorite books growing up. Ghost stories.” Casey sidled up next to Olivia and pointed out the novels in turn. “This one’s about a little boy who goes to live with his uncle, who’s a wizard, and finds out that there’s a doomsday clock hidden in the walls. That one’s actually the first in a series; I have the rest of them around here somewhere. This one’s about a girl who can see the past through the windows of a dollhouse. And this one’s about a girl who’s haunted by a ghost from the Victorian era. The ghost uses reflective surfaces to try to pull the girl back in time.”
“Why?”
“Because she wants a friend.” Casey smiled, met Olivia’s eye for a moment, and then settled back down on the sofa. “I was somewhat of a morbid kid.”
Olivia sat down on the couch next to her. “I read romance novels when I was younger. Pure escapism. And I read Nancy Drew.”
“Oh, I loved Nancy Drew.” Casey blinked and rubbed her eyes. “Damn it. It’s a little ridiculous how little sleep one gets in a hospital. They wake you up every couple of hours to take vitals and all that. It gets annoying.”
“Want me to let you go to bed?” Olivia asked, eyeing the clock. It was eight at night; Olivia would be home by nine if all went well, which was something that hadn’t happened in ages.
“No,” she replied, biting back a yawn. “Can we pull out the couch, though? It’d be a little more comfortable, for you and for me.”
“Sure.”
The two got up off the couch and Casey stood off to the side as Olivia tossed the cushions aside and pulled out the bed. Sighing with relief, Casey crawled into bed and snuggled under the blanket and sheet. Olivia settled next to her, handing her a pillow. “You do realize that this is no different than you going to bed, right?”
“Don’t have a TV in my room,” Casey replied, tucking her hands under the pillow. “So it’s a little different.”
Olivia chuckled, then made herself more comfortable on the bed, slouching down and placing her arm behind her head as a makeshift pillow. “Well, if you’re going on technicalities …”
Casey smiled and allowed her eyelids to flutter closed. “You know what else I used to love to read when I was little? The Boxcar Children. They were cheesy little mysteries, like who kept letting the animals out at the zoo, but I was in third grade and that was pretty much the most mystery I could handle.” She yawned. “The Boxcar Children and Encyclopedia Brown pretty much filled my bookshelf for years.”
“I remember the Boxcar Children,” Olivia said softly so as not to startle Casey awake.
“My mom used to read those books to me because she read them when she was little …” Casey trailed off as she began slipping into sleep. Olivia made a move to stand up and leave Casey alone, but a plaintive voice stopped her. “No, don’t go.”
“Go to sleep,” the detective whispered. “I’ll come back tomorrow morning.”
“Don’t go,” Casey repeated. She opened her eyes and pushed herself up a little. “Please?”
The pleading tone of Casey’s voice and the small hint of a pout instantly won over Olivia. She settled back down on the bed and brushed Casey’s hair out of her eyes as the ADA began drifting off again. Surprised that Casey wasn’t pulling away from the contact, Olivia leaned forward and gave her a goodnight kiss on the cheek. Casey gave the slightest hint of a half-smile and reached out, taking Olivia’s hand in hers. “G’night, Liv.”
“Night, honey,” Olivia whispered, smiling. She settled down herself, unconsciously closing the space between them. The deep, even breathing beside her indicated that Casey had already fallen asleep; Olivia gave Casey’s hand a gentle squeeze and slipped her hand free, then turned onto her back, closing her eyes. She was soon asleep herself and just barely felt Casey’s arm drape across her stomach.
-----
Casey gasped and awoke to pitch-black. Confused, disoriented, and thinking that it was entirely too dark in the hospital, she pushed herself up onto her elbows. After a second or two, she realized that she was at home in her living room and that a dream, the details of which had already slipped her mind, had woken her from a sound sleep. The clock on her cable box told her that it was just after three in the morning, entirely too early to get out of bed. With a slight groan, she settled back under the covers and closed her eyes, willing herself to go back to sleep.
She was just drifting off again when she felt an arm snake over her hip. Starting awake, she turned over and found herself face-to-face with Olivia Benson. Before Casey could even begin to remember just what had caused this turn of events, Olivia scrunched her nose and opened her eyes for a moment, disturbed by the sudden movement. “You all right?” she whispered sleepily.
“Yeah,” Casey whispered back. “Go back to sleep.”
Olivia turned over, facing away from the ADA, and tugged the blankets tighter around her shoulders. Casey smiled and now that the moment of panic had subsided, she was able to remember falling asleep on poor Olivia. The detective must have nodded off not long after, because although Casey just barely remembered asking Olivia to stay, she had figured she would sleep in the bedroom.
Once she was sure Olivia had gone back to sleep, she climbed out of bed, walked over to her desk, and turned on her laptop. Since she was wide awake, she figured she might as well research a couple of details about foster parenting and adoption. She looked over her shoulder only once to make sure the dim light from the laptop wasn’t disturbing Olivia.
She had been at the computer for about half an hour and had nearly two full pages of handwritten notes when a voice spoke up from behind. “Adoption?” Olivia asked, squinting at the computer.
Startled, Casey slammed the cover of the laptop down and whirled the chair around to face the detective. “Jesus! I-I’m just doing a little research.”
“Research at three-thirty in the morning? On adoption? Casey--”
“You know something? I really don’t want to have this conversation at three-thirty in the morning.” Casey stood up from the desk chair and started to walk towards the kitchen to get a drink of water.
“But we’ve had this conversation already. Twice.”
The ADA abruptly turned on her heels, her eyes glittering with anger. “No! You’ve told me that ACS won’t let me take her, and I’ve said, ‘Yeah, maybe you’re right.’ But you know what? Let ACS tell me that themselves.” Spying the surprise on Olivia’s face, Casey softened and lowered her voice. “Look, I get that you’re just trying to protect me, but do you really think that I think that her first night here is going to be spent painting each other’s nails and braiding each other’s hair and watching movies? She’s going to be sick. She’s going to be hurt and confused and pissed off. It’s going to be hard and it’s going to take time. I know that.”
“I just don’t want you getting hurt,” Olivia said softly.
“I appreciate that, Olivia, truly, but someone needs to think of Maddie. She’s eight years old and she has no one. They’re not going to let Shirley Miller take her, are they?”
Olivia hesitated before answering, not wanting to further Casey’s determination. “Shirley Miller’s living on Social Security and can barely afford to take care of herself, never mind an eight-year-old.”
Casey bit her lip in disappointment and then set her shoulders. As Olivia had expected, Casey’s determination had risen with that news. “See? No one. She doesn’t know what love is, Liv.”
“And that’s extremely sad,” Olivia replied, “but why do you think you have to be the one that fixes everything?”
“You said yourself that the two of us connected for some reason. Maybe this is the reason. She needs to know that going home to an empty apartment and fixing herself dinner and putting herself to bed at eight years old isn’t normal. She needs to be with someone who’ll love her.”
The detective put her hand to her head in confusion. “I understand that she needs to be with someone who loves her, but why is that someone you? A foster family will love her.”
“A foster family won’t know her.”
“Casey, you don’t know her!” Olivia knew she sounded exasperated, but she didn’t care. She didn’t understand why Casey was so unwavering in her decision to adopt Maddie, despite the impracticality of it. “You’ve spent, what, six hours with her total? Why are you trying so hard to do this?”
Casey paused, took a deep breath, then cleared her throat before speaking up softly. “Because I know how the system works and I know that it doesn’t always. Come on, Olivia, you see latchkey kids in the squad room every single day for one reason or another. Victim, perp, doesn’t matter. I just don’t want to be prosecuting this kid ten years from now and thinking that I could have prevented it.”
Olivia instantly softened at Casey’s admission, and she knew that with Casey’s conviction and urge to help, there would be no way that Olivia could change her mind. So rather than continue to argue with her, she relented. “It’s late. Let’s go back to bed and then in the morning I’ll take you to the hospital so you can see Maddie and then we’ll go down and talk to ACS.”
Casey smiled widely in gratitude. “Thank you.”
“But if ACS tells you point blank that you can’t take her--”
“I’ll drop it,” Casey promised. She headed back towards the sofa, yawning. She crawled into bed and pulled the covers tight around her shoulders.
Olivia climbed onto the sofabed next to her, settling on top of the covers, and ran her hand over Casey’s arm. “Just get some rest, hon.” The ADA nodded and closed her eyes, a stray lock of hair falling across her cheek. Olivia pushed the hair behind Casey’s ear and frowned; her cheek felt hot against the tips of Olivia’s fingers . “You feel okay?” she asked softly, pressing the back of her hand against Casey’s forehead.
“I’m sleepy,” Casey replied, shrugging slightly.
“It feels like your fever’s coming back. They sent you home with some Tylenol, right?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Where is it?”
Casey shrugged again and sighed softly. Olivia could tell that the ADA was dropping off to sleep, but she also knew that she needed to get the medicine into her before her fever could spike. She slipped off the bed and headed to the bathroom, figuring that even if Casey hadn’t put away the Tylenol the hospital had given her, she could find something to control the fever.
After poking around the medicine cabinet, she grabbed a bottle of Advil and fished out two of the pills, then poured a glass of water. She carried both back out into the living room and set the water on the endtable as she sat down on the bed. Gently, she nudged the ADA. “Casey, you need to take some medicine.”
“Mmm, later.”
“No, now. Please? For me?” Casey gave a half-smile and sleepily opened her eyes, holding out her hand. Olivia dropped the pills into her open palm. “Sit up a little; you need to take a drink of water.”
Reluctantly, Casey pushed herself up onto her elbow, popping the pills into her mouth, and took the water from Olivia’s hand. After downing a sip, she handed the cup back to the detective and laid back down. “Can I go to sleep now?”
“Yes,” Olivia chuckled. “Sleep tight.”
“You coming back to bed?”
“I will,” the detective assured her. Olivia smiled and once again brushed Casey’s hair behind her ear. She then walked around to the other side of the bed and settled down on top of the covers, tugging one of the unused pillows under her head. After a few minutes, Casey turned over with a small sigh and snuggled closer to the detective, resting her head on Olivia’s shoulder. Olivia opened her eyes. “Casey?”
The ADA was already asleep; she didn’t respond. Olivia smiled, curled her arm around Casey’s shoulders to run her fingers through her hair, and closed her eyes, allowing the steady rhythm of Casey’s breathing to lull her to sleep.
-----
The bright mid-morning sunshine rudely pulled Casey out of her slumber. Groaning tiredly and muttering choice curse words under her breath, she pulled the sheet over her head in an effort to block out the light. After a moment, she opened her eyes and she was surprised to discover that she was snuggled next to Olivia and that the detective’s shoulder had been doubling as her pillow. She quickly scooted over, hoping that Olivia hadn’t noticed their close proximity.
Her hopes were dashed at the sound of Olivia’s chuckling. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”
“Good morning,” Casey replied, her cheeks flushed. “How long have you been up?”
“About an hour.” Olivia sat up and massaged her shoulder, which had gotten stiff from the hours of Casey lying on it.
“You should have woken me.”
“I tried. You sleep like the dead, Counselor.” She climbed off the bed with a yawn. “We have to get going, though. It’s already ten past ten and we’ve got a busy day ahead of us.”
Casey threw the covers off her legs and started to get up, then hesitated. Though she was sure they didn’t have time for serious conversation, she had to figure out just what had been happening over the past week. Most of the things that Olivia had done for her over the past week could have been easily explained as a friend taking care of another friend, but some of the things that had gone on between the two of them were beyond friendship. “Olivia?”
“What?” The detective turned her attention to Casey.
“Last night, when you said you didn’t want me getting hurt … why?”
“Why?” Olivia shot the ADA a perplexed look, as if the answer to that question should be obvious. “Why would I want any of my friends to get hurt?”
“But this is different … isn’t it?”
“Jesus, Novak, you’re not going to start freaking out on me because we shared a bed, are you?”
Casey bit her lip; maybe she had been reading too much into Olivia’s words and actions. Though, as she looked the detective over and found Olivia unwilling to meet her eyes, it became clear to her that Olivia was as nervous as she was. “It’s not just last night, Liv. It’s everything. You can’t tell me that if it had been Munch in the hospital, you would have been taking care of him the way you were taking care of me. You can’t tell me you would have stayed the night in his apartment.”
Olivia inhaled nervously as she sat back down on the edge of the bed. “I was terrified when you got sick. It kind of surprised me how scared I was. And I kept telling myself that I was just scared because you’re a friend and you were really sick, and even though I didn’t want to, I started thinking about what would happen if we lost you. And it was beyond that the squad couldn’t handle losing another ADA. It was that I was scared of losing you.”
Casey took a deep breath in and gave the detective a half-smile. “I was afraid I was going to lose you, too. As much as I kept saying I was fine and that it was nothing … I was terrified. But I was most afraid of leaving you.”
“So … what does this mean?”
“I don’t know,” Casey answered hesitantly. “What do you want it to mean?” Please oh please don’t let this backfire on me, she thought.
“I-I don’t … I mean, I’m not--”
“Forget it,” Casey said sadly. Backfire. Duck and cover. She turned her back to the detective and started to climb out of bed.
“No, Case, wait.” Olivia reached out and grabbed the ADA’s hand, stopping her in her tracks. “It’s not what you think. It’s just I’m nervous … I’m scared that I’m going to screw this up somehow. And I don’t want you getting hurt; I care too much about you.”
“I’m terrified, too, Liv. I don’t want you getting hurt any more than you want me getting hurt. But if we let our fears run this into the ground before it even gets airborne …”
Olivia tightened her grip on Casey’s hand, smiling timidly. “You really think we should try it?”
The ADA gave Olivia a smirk. “Well, you’re the only one who’s ever called me ‘Case’ and lived to tell the tale.”
“You don’t like it?” Olivia asked, frowning. “I didn’t know--”
“I typically don’t like it. For you, I can make an exception.”
The detective grinned, then leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Casey’s cheek. “Come on. We have to get going,” she whispered before pulling away.
Casey’s breath caught in her throat, then she smiled back and climbed off the bed. Her mind was swirling with possibilities and she felt like she could accomplish anything. Now, it was time to focus her attention on preparing her argument to ACS. Who knows? she thought. Maybe I can make it two for two today. She had taken a chance on Olivia, and Olivia had come through for her. Hopefully, ACS would come through for her as well.
-----
Casey was all smiles as she headed down the hospital corridor to Maddie’s room with a teddy bear in one hand and a balloon in the other. She had already taken a few minutes downstairs to give Cheryl some flowers and thank her for making her week in the hospital bearable and now she was on her way to spend a little time with Maddie. As she stepped into the hospital room, she spotted Kim Donovan seated in the visitor’s chair, reading a book to the little girl.
She stopped short, almost causing Olivia, who hadn’t quite been paying attention, to crash right into her. What the hell’s she still doing here? she thought, panicked. ACS was supposed to have taken over by now. It would be harder for Maddie the longer Kim stayed there, pretending to care. At Olivia’s comforting touch on her shoulder, Casey took a deep breath in and put on a smile, then entered the room. “Hey, kiddo. Good morning, Kim.”
“Casey!” Maddie exclaimed. “You’re better!”
“Hi Casey,” Kim said with a forced smile. The tone of her voice reminded the ADA of a sleazy car salesman: that fake, sickly sweet inflection that made Casey’s eyes roll.
“I drew you another picture!” Maddie spoke up, thankfully interrupting Casey’s thought process before she could get even more agitated and on edge. “I did a lake this time, though. I hope you like it.”
Casey switched the balloon to her other hand and took the paper from Maddie. Once again, she was amazed at the details the little girl had added: the reflections of the trees in the water of the lake, a small fishing shanty on the shore, and a rowboat tied to a dock. The fact that it was all done in crayon was even more fascinating. The first thing I’m going to buy her is a watercolor set, Casey thought happily. “Maddie, this is absolutely amazing. I love it!”
“Really?”
“Really!” Casey handed the picture to Olivia and then turned her attention again to the little girl. “And I brought you something. Charlie needed a brother.”
“Oh, thank you!” Maddie accepted the teddy bear from Casey and hugged it tightly. “His name is going to be Jonathan.”
Casey gave the little girl a smile as she tied the balloon to the guard rail of the bed. “Charlie and Jonathan. I like it.”
“Me too!”
As Casey tousled the little girl’s hair, she looked over and saw the slightest hint of a dirty look cross Kim’s face. The ADA felt her cheeks grow hot as the anger surged through her veins. What the hell is her problem?! she thought, livid. She almost spoke the words aloud, but she caught herself before she could say something she’d ultimately regret. Count to ten, Novak. She’s not worth it, she’s not worth it.
Olivia, sensing Casey’s frustration, stepped forward and gave Maddie a warm smile. “You look so much better, Maddie.”
“I feel a lot better,” she answered, grinning. “Now I just want to go home.”
“And I can’t wait to get her home,” Kim spoke up, smiling down at Maddie.
Casey tensed again; she wanted to scream. She couldn’t comprehend how someone could just pretend to love her child. How could anyone string along a child and play with their emotions like that? Why couldn’t Kim see how unfair she was being to Maddie? After taking a couple deliberate breaths, Casey put a gentle smile on her face and looked down at the little girl. “Did they say when you can go home?”
“They said they have to keep me another day for … observation?” The little girl looked to her mother for confirmation. Kim nodded, and upon realizing that she did indeed have the correct word, Maddie continued. “So, I hope it’s tomorrow night, but it might not be until the day after that.”
“That’s great!” Casey said, smiling happily.
“Isn’t it?” Kim asked. “The apartment has been so quiet without her.”
All right, that’s it! Casey thought furiously. She felt her fingernails dig into her palms as her hands clenched into fists. Just as she opened her mouth to say exactly what was on her mind, Olivia put her hand on Casey’s shoulder. It was meant to be comforting and supportive, but it also served to bring her anger down from blinding to just seething under the surface. I need to get out of here before I blow. “Sweetie, Olivia and I have to get going; we have to run a couple of errands.” At the little girl’s pout, she quickly added, “Want me to call you later, though?”
Maddie nodded.
“Okay. I’ll give you a call later.” She gave the little girl a kiss on the top of her head, not caring what Kim thought about it. “I’m so glad you’re feeling better, sweetie.”
“I’m glad you’re better, too!” Maddie said, grinning. “Bye, guys!”
“Bye!” Casey replied. “Goodbye, Kim.”
“Bye, Casey. Bye, Olivia.” Kim gave them both a smile as they headed for the door. Casey looked over her shoulder and caught Kim’s smile turn into a sly smirk. Casey narrowed her eyes at her. Kim just raised an eyebrow and went back to reading to Maddie.
As soon as Casey and Olivia were out of earshot of the room, Casey stopped walking, turning on her heels and facing the detective. “What the hell was she doing?”
“She was playing you, Casey,” Olivia replied. “She knows she’s in deep shit and after seeing you and Maddie together, I bet you anything she’s figured out that you’re the one who called ACS.”
Casey set her jaw and bit her lip, nodding. “Trying to make me doubt my first instincts.”
“No. She’s trying to show you that she can play the system. That she can pretend to be the caring, attentive, loving parent and fool ACS just as easily as you can tell them she’s abandoning her daughter.”
Tears of frustration welled in the ADA’s eyes without warning. She quickly swiped at her eyes before Olivia could see the tears. “But she’s not just playing with my emotions! And that’s what pisses me off the most. She simply doesn’t give a shit about that little girl. She’s sitting there using her daughter’s affection to play mind games with me.”
Olivia slid her arm around Casey’s shoulders and nudged her forward. The two of them, having memorized the hospital’s layout from having been there so much over the past week, expertly made their way back to the elevators. Olivia hit the call button and surprisingly, the doors opened immediately. Even more surprising was that there was no one else in the car. As the doors closed and she and Casey were left with some relative privacy, she turned to face the ADA. “Kim Donovan’s a manipulative bitch, Case. She pisses you off, she makes you angry. Hell, even I wanted to smack that look of smug satisfaction off her face. But it’s going to do you no good confronting her directly. Use your anger and take it out on her where it counts … channel it into the best argument you can for ACS.”
Casey glanced up at Olivia, slightly confused. “Why are you giving me advice? I thought you didn’t want me to do this.”
“I don’t,” Olivia replied with a small shrug. “But I will support you.”
A shy, grateful smile played across Casey’s lips. Oh, she is so in, and she knows it. “Thank you.”
Olivia gave the ADA a knowing smirk. “You’re welcome.”
-----
Olivia stood in the corner of the room, trying not to listen in on the conversation between Casey and Jennifer Lowe, the social worker assigned to Maddie’s case. Though, the discussion was loud, and Olivia couldn’t help but overhear some of it. From what she could discern, Jennifer and Casey knew each other from college, and Casey was losing the argument. It was just as she had suspected: Jennifer didn’t doubt for a minute that Casey would give the little girl a loving home, but the sticking point was her schedule.
Biting her lip in disappointment, Olivia decided to give up pretending not to eavesdrop and try to hear everything she could. Casey was just getting to the impassioned part of her argument. “I would love nothing more than to take that little girl home and--”
“Casey, it’s just not realistic,” Jennifer interrupted.
“Jen, you know that Kim Donovan is full of shit.”
“Kim Donovan is full of shit, yes,” Jennifer answered. She tossed a file folder aside and picked up another one, then scooted around both her desk and Casey and walked over to the file cabinet. “That’s why we’re taking custody of Maddie as soon as she gets out of the hospital.”
“It’s not soon enough!” Casey exclaimed. “Kim’s sitting in the hospital right now, reading to that little girl. She’s not going to understand this at all, Jen. Let me take her and I can explain--”
“I can’t let you take her.” She put the folder away and pulled out another, then walked back over to her desk and sat down in the chair. “The whole point of taking her away from Kim is to put her into a stable, caring environment.”
“It would be a stable, caring environment!”
Jennifer just shot Casey a withering look. “I don’t doubt that it would be caring, Casey, but it would be far from stable. What time did you get home on Friday?”
“I’ve been in the hospital, remember?”
“Okay, fine, the last night you worked. What time did you get home?”
Casey raised her eyes to the ceiling and tried to remember back that far. “Almost eight-thirty.”
“And the night before that?”
Frowning and knowing she was beat, she grumbled, “Seven.”
“And what about the night before that?”
Casey rolled her eyes and slumped down in the chair in front of Jennifer’s desk. “You’ve made your point, Jen. I just … I care about her, and I want to help. And it’s not that I don’t trust you or ACS, it’s just--”
“You care so much that you want to make sure it’s done right. I understand that.” Jennifer rested her arms on her desk and leaned forward. “Casey, you know you can trust me; she’s not going to fall through the cracks. I’ll make Maddie my special project, all right? I’ll place her with a great family and I’ll make absolutely sure they love her and treat her as though she were their own.”
“I want full updates.”
“You’ll get them.”
Casey sighed, standing up and nervously running her fingers through her hair. “Maybe if I ask to cut my hours back--”
Jennifer stood as well, rounding her desk and standing in front of the ADA. “Do you really think you could do that? You’re the kind of person who likes to give their all, Casey. You think the judges are going to care that you suddenly have to be home by five to get your adopted daughter from her after-school programs? Do you really see yourself being able to ignore the two-in-the-morning emergency phone calls because otherwise you’d have to drag an eight-year-old to the squad room with you? And I’m telling you right now, my boss’d have my head if she found out I placed an eight-year-old with someone who drags her out at two a.m.”
Casey closed her eyes, biting her lip in disappointment. “Why is this so hard?”
“Because you care,” Jennifer replied. She touched Casey’s arm comfortingly, then grabbed another file from the drawer. “It’s a curse.”
“Jen--”
“Casey, I’m sorry.”
Casey set her jaw and nodded, exhaling deeply. “Yeah, me too. Thanks for your time, Jen.”
Olivia saw Casey turn around and she quickly busied herself with looking around the office so that it wasn’t as obvious that she had been eavesdropping. As the ADA walked up to her, she gave a bitter chuckle. “Give it up, Liv. I know you heard everything.”
“Not everything,” Olivia said, blushing. “Just most of it.” She wrapped her arm around Casey’s shoulders as the two of them headed for the exit. “I’m sorry, honey.”
“Yeah.” Casey shrugged out of Olivia’s grasp and pulled ahead of her, hurrying out the door.
Olivia wrinkled her brow and ran a little to catch up with the ADA. “Casey, wait up.” Frowning when Casey didn’t stop walking, she reached out and grabbed the younger woman’s hand, tugging her to a stop. “Casey--”
“Go ahead, say ‘I told you so,’” Casey muttered, ripping her hand out of Olivia’s. She blinked back the tears welling in her eyes, because dammit, she was not going to cry in front of Olivia.
“I don’t want to say ‘I told you so.’” Olivia stood directly in front of Casey and forced the ADA to meet her eyes. “I know how much you wanted this, Casey. I would never dismiss it with an ‘I told you so.’”
“You know, I knew there was more than a good chance that I wouldn’t be allowed to take her. I just didn’t expect that it would hurt this much.” Rolling her eyes at herself, Casey started walking back to Olivia’s car. “Well, now I know what I’m doing with the rest of my day.”
“What’s that?”
“Spending it with the television and some vodka.”
Ordinarily, Olivia would have put a stop to that course of action, but the pain written all over the ADA’s face made her agree to it, with a condition or two. “Okay, fine, but I’m going to be there, too.”
Casey stopped walking about five paces away from the car door, whirling on the detective. “Why?”
“Because I’m not letting you get drunk by yourself and wallow in your own self-pity.” She put her hand on Casey’s shoulder, ignoring for a moment the fact that they were standing in the middle of a busy New York sidewalk. “I know you’re hurting but that really isn’t the way to deal with it. So you have two choices: drink with me or go without the alcohol.”
Casey, figuring that Olivia’s experiences with her mother’s drinking were just as much a factor in this ultimatum as her concern, just nodded. “Yeah, all right.”
Olivia sighed in relief and gave Casey a small smile. “It’s going to be okay, you know.”
“Sure as hell doesn’t feel like it now.”
“I know.” She gave the ADA’s shoulder a quick squeeze and then made her way to her car. She got in on the driver’s side and then unlocked the door for Casey, who slid into the passenger seat sullenly.
Without a word, she started the car and carefully eased into traffic. Her heart broke when she glanced over at Casey, who was staring down at the crayon drawing Maddie had made her, blinking back tears of frustration and disappointment. I knew this was going to happen, she thought, turning her attention back to the road. Damn it. Elliot had been right: as hard as Olivia had tried to prevent it, Casey had still gotten hurt. And though no one could really heal Casey’s wounds except Casey herself, Olivia was determined to try to help.
-----
Olivia walked back into Casey’s living room, carrying two juice glasses half-filled with vodka. It was Olivia’s first glass, but Casey’s third. Olivia still wasn’t entirely comfortable with allowing her to drink so much--they had only been back at Casey’s for about an hour--but she figured as long as she was watching over her carefully, the ADA would be all right. At least, if nothing else, the alcohol had relaxed her a bit.
As she approached the sofa, Casey turned around and smiled. “There you are.” She reached her hand out and gratefully accepted the glass. “I was wondering what was taking you so long. And I see you’ve decided to join me, unless you brought me two glasses at once. Because I could handle that, you know.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Olivia smiled. “But sorry, Case, this one’s mine.” She settled back down on the sofa, squeezing in between the arm of the couch and Casey. She wrapped her arm around the younger woman’s shoulders and couldn’t help but smile when Casey leaned into the embrace, slouching down and resting her head on Olivia’s shoulder.
In the time that Olivia had been in the kitchen, Casey had switched the channel on the television from the movie they had been watching to a syndicated sitcom. “What happened to the movie?” Olivia asked, frowning.
“I got bored with it,” Casey shrugged. She took another large gulp of the vodka, making a face as she swallowed.
“You’re one of those drunks with a limited attention span, aren’t you?” Olivia asked, trying not to let Casey know that she was somewhat amused.
“But I’m not drunk!” Casey looked up, frowning at Olivia. “Not yet.”
“Uh huh,” Olivia said in a teasing tone.
There was a minute or two of silence before Casey exclaimed, “It’s all so unfair!” She sat up abruptly, causing Olivia to almost spill her drink. “How am I supposed to have faith in a system that won’t place a child with someone who wants her?”
“Casey, listen,” Olivia said softly, “I know how much you wanted her, but Jennifer’s right and not just about the fact that your schedule is nuts. What happens if Maddie can’t sleep or gets bored and starts poking through your files? You really want an eight-year-old seeing the crime scene photos? You want to have to explain that to her?”
“But what happens when I have my own children?” Casey argued. “I’m going to face the same problems then.”
“Yeah, but there’s a slight difference between exposing your own children to it and exposing emotionally troubled children placed in your care by ACS to it. ACS has to watch out for that little girl and they have to take every little thing into consideration.”
“This sucks.” Casey slouched back against the sofa, taking a large sip of alcohol.
“I’m not denying that.” Olivia held her arm out, inviting Casey back into her embrace. Casey complied and leaned against the detective. “In time, it’ll hurt less.”
“I know.” Casey sighed. “And deep down, I know that you guys are right. I know that my expectations were too high and I don’t understand why I’m so attached to her. I … I don’t even know. I can’t think anymore.”
Olivia smirked and started twirling a lock of Casey’s hair around her finger. “You’re attached to her because she’s a child in need and you care. She’s attached to you because with the possible exception of the hospital staff, you’re the first adult in her life to care for her unconditionally.”
“Mmm, you think?”
“Yes, I do.” She looked down just as Casey’s eyelids fluttered closed. Shrugging her shoulder a little, she roused the ADA. “Hey, you’re not passing out on me, are you, Novak? Because that’s pretty damn pathetic if you are.”
Casey sat up and guzzled the rest of the vodka in her glass, then snatched Olivia’s glass from her hand and downed what was left in that one as well. “I’ll have you know that I can drink you under the table anytime, anywhere.”
“You’re three and a half drinks ahead of me, Counselor,” Olivia said, raising an eyebrow. “That’s a bit of an unfair advantage. Or an unfair disadvantage, depending on how you look at it.”
“So catch up with me!” Casey hiccupped, then covered her mouth, embarrassed. “I drank that too fast.”
Olivia snorted back a chuckle. “I think I’ll sit this contest out. Do you want another one? Because I have to go get some anyway since you drank mine.”
“Yes, please,” Casey replied, smiling shyly. She held out her glass and Olivia plucked it out of her hand, shaking her head. Casey was definitely the limited-attention-span kind of drunk. She was also a flirtatious drunk, which was amusing Olivia to no end.
The detective headed towards the kitchen, humming to herself. She set the glasses down on the counter and grabbed the bottle. As Olivia was pouring the vodka into the glasses, Casey came into the kitchen, stumbling slightly. “You’re taking too long!”
“I’ve been gone a minute!” Olivia exclaimed. “Not even!”
“But I missed you,” Casey said, her voice verging on singsong.
Olivia looked Casey over, raising an eyebrow at the ADA. “I repeat, I’ve been gone a minute.” Casey gave Olivia a sly grin and reached under her arm to grab a glass. Olivia took it back from her and frowned. “Maybe you’ve had enough for right now.”
“Oh, come on, Liv,” Casey whined. She gave the detective a coy pout. “Please? Just this one?”
Olivia sighed and, after a moment of further consideration, relented and handed the glass back to Casey. “But that’s the last one for a while.”
“You’re cutting me off?”
“I am, in fact, cutting you off.” Olivia placed her hand on the small of Casey’s back and started leading her back to the living room. “It’s already started hitting you more than you think it has and with the drink and a half you just guzzled not even five minutes ago…”
“You couldn’t sound any more like my driver’s ed instructor if you tried,” Casey grumbled. “I swear, if you say, ‘It’s like a sunburn; when you feel it, it’s already too late’, I’m going to smack you.”
Olivia snickered and though she hadn’t planned on saying something so cliché, she debated saying it anyway, just to get Casey going. Ultimately, she decided against it, opting instead for tightening her grip around the ADA’s waist and giving her a small sideways hug. “There’s no need for physical violence. I’ll shut up.”
“I don’t want you to shut up,” Casey said as she slowly settled herself on the sofa.
“You don’t?”
“Nope.” The ADA grinned as she pulled Olivia down next to her, then leaned back against the older woman, laying her head against Olivia’s shoulder. “I want you to keep talking to me, just not about the alcohol.”
“Okay,” Olivia answered, slightly confused. Casey’s train of thought was jumping around too quickly for her to follow. Just as she would finally figure out what Casey wanted to hear, the ADA would have already changed conversation topics. “Well, what do you want me to talk about?”
“I don’t know,” Casey replied with a small shrug. She sipped her drink and turned her attention to the television. “Anything. Nothing. I don’t know.”
“Hmm,” Olivia said thoughtfully. “What was your favorite movie when you were a kid?”
“Back to the Future,” Casey answered through a yawn. “Loved it. My dad took me to see it and we quoted it back and forth for weeks. It annoyed my mother terribly.”
Olivia chuckled. “Why did it annoy your mother?”
“Because we’d do it at the dinner table and she’d tell us to stick to real conversation. I think she felt left out because she was sick the day we went to the movies, so she didn’t understand any of the quotes,” Casey said, smiling fondly at the memory. She snatched the remote control and started flipping channels on the television. After going through the channels twice, she turned it back to the movie she and Olivia had been watching originally. She was quiet for a moment or two, then she spoke up softly. “Liv? You really think I would have been a good mother to her?”
“Yes, I really do.” Olivia reached down and started playing with a lock of Casey’s hair. “I think you would have been great to her and I know you would have loved her. But you know what?”
“What?”
“Sometimes part of loving someone is realizing that you’ve done all you can do for them. I know you think you failed her in some way, but you didn’t. She has a chance at a happy, fulfilling life now because you cared enough to follow up on what most people would consider a throwaway statement.”
Casey smiled slightly and closed her eyes. “I did, didn’t I?”
“Yes,” Olivia smiled. “Are you feeling a little better at least?”
The ADA nodded, seeming to relax and then tensed, once again sitting up abruptly. “Oh, shit.”
“What?”
“I told Maddie I’d call her. There’s one more broken promise.”
“So call her,” Olivia replied, not quite understanding what the problem was.
“Yeah, right! I can’t call her like this. You can’t tell me I sound normal.”
“No one said you have to talk to her for an hour, Casey. Just call her, say hi, let her babble for a few minutes, and then tell her you have to go.”
Casey smiled, downed the final bit of alcohol in her glass, then handed the empty glass to Olivia. She gave the detective a sly grin. “Can you get the phone for me? Trying to walk right now is probably not a good idea.”
Olivia rolled her eyes, trying not to let Casey know that she was amused. She stood with feigned annoyance. “Yeah, I guess so. Remind me never to drink with you again.”
“Oh, come on. You know you love it.”
The detective flashed Casey a wide grin. “Of course I do.”
-----
With a small sigh, Olivia glanced over at Casey, who was curled up in the opposite corner of the sofa, sound asleep and snoring softly. She had passed out while watching television about an hour prior, after a successful phone call to Maddie and a little more conversation. The movie they had been watching had finally finished and the detective, bored, snatched the remote control and had just started flipping channels when her cell phone rang. Frowning, she reached over, grabbed her phone from where she had left it on Casey’s endtable, and peered at the caller ID. It was Elliot. Smirking, she flipped it open. “You calling to check up on me?”
“No,” Elliot said, chuckling. “I was calling to see how the meeting with ACS went.”
“Just as I thought it would.”
“Oh, really?” he asked, obvious regret in his tone. “How’s Casey?”
Olivia glanced over at the sleeping ADA and sighed. “She’s had some vodka so she’s feeling no pain now but she’s going to have one hell of a headache when I wake her up to put her to bed.”
“She took it pretty hard, huh?”
“Yeah, but she understands the reasoning. She’ll be all right.”
“Well, I’ll let you go. Tell her we’re all thinking of her.”
“I will. See you tomorrow.”
“Bye.”
Olivia flipped her phone closed and set it back on the endtable. With a small sigh, she stood and crouched down in front of the sofa, brushing a stray lock of Casey’s hair behind her ear in an effort to gently rouse her. “Casey, wake up.”
“Mm-mm.” Casey clumsily pushed at Olivia’s hand.
“Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in bed?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll help you into your room. Come on, hon.”
“Can’t move. And I have a headache.”
The detective smirked and shook Casey’s shoulder. “It’s all right. I’ll get you some aspirin, too.”
Wrinkling her nose, she pushed herself up on her elbows and forced an eye open. “Why are you making me get up?”
“You can stay there if you want, but lying on the couch is only going to make your headache worse.”
Casey considered that, then frowned. “I hate when you’re right.” She sat up and stared bleary-eyed at Olivia for a moment, then she leaned forward and planted a kiss on Olivia’s lips.
Olivia was surprised, but her surprise was almost instantly forgotten as she was drawn into the kiss, her fingers working their way through Casey’s hair. She broke the kiss first, looking into the ADA’s eyes. “Wow. What was that for?”
“A thank you.” Casey smiled and started to stand. Olivia stood next to her, allowing her to lean on her for support. “I never would have made it through this past week and a half without you.”
“Sure you would have,” Olivia smiled as she slowly walked Casey into her bedroom. “It’s just easier with someone who cares for you.”
The detective helped Casey into bed, pulling the covers around her shoulder and tucking her in tightly. “Sleep tight, honey.”
“Liv?”
“Yeah?”
“Stay tonight?”
“Casey, I can’t. I don’t have any clean pajamas, and--”
Casey sat up and grinned through her headache. “Who says you’re going to need any?”
Olivia raised an eyebrow, unsure if Casey knew what she was saying. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
The detective smiled widely. “Then I guess I’m staying tonight.”
-----
There’s no way I can do this, there’s no way I can do this. The words were repeating in Casey’s head like a broken record. She had decided to get out of bed despite her horrible hangover and go down to the hospital to explain things to Maddie, against Olivia’s advice. The detective, though she’d had to leave early that morning to get back to work, had wanted Casey to stay home, nurse her hangover, and take the time to rest. But Casey had had enough rest and she wanted Maddie to hear it from her that she was no longer going to be living with her mother.
Even though Olivia was against the plan, she had taken time on her lunch break to go to the hospital with Casey and offer her moral support. Also part of Olivia’s decision was that the guys had been teasing her mercilessly all morning about her budding relationship with Casey; she had been happy to get away from them for a little bit. If they only knew about what happened overnight, Olivia thought wickedly as she followed Casey down the hospital corridor.
Abruptly, Casey stopped short in the middle of the hallway outside of Maddie’s room and whirled around on her heels. “Liv, I can’t do this,” she whispered.
“Then don’t,” Olivia replied, comfortingly resting her hand on Casey’s arm.
“But I owe it to her.”
“Why is it your responsibility to explain this to her? ACS is trained for things like this--”
“Because I’m the one who got her into this mess.” Casey took a deep breath and ran a shaky hand through her hair. “I have to be the one to explain it to her.”
Olivia gave Casey a warm smile. “Want me to come in with you?”
“No. I think I’ll be all right.” After looking into Olivia’s eyes, seeking comfort, she took a deep breath and walked to the door. She hesitated only a moment, then set her shoulders and entered the room, putting on a smile for the little girl. “Hi, Maddie.”
Maddie looked up from the book she was reading at the sound of the ADA’s voice and grinned excitedly. “Casey!”
Casey cringed; I really wish she wouldn’t sound so happy to see me, she thought sadly. “Hey, kiddo. How’re you feeling?”
“Better than yesterday,” she answered. She closed the book and set it on her tray table, then pushed the table aside. “Mommy had to leave but she’s coming back to get me later on tonight. I can’t wait to get out of here and go back home!”
Sighing, Casey sat down in the visitor’s chair and held her hand out to the little girl. Maddie frowned in obvious confusion but took Casey’s hand anyway. “What’s the matter, Casey? You look sad.”
“I’m not sad, sweetie,” she replied, forcing a smile. Then, she thought better of lying to the little girl right before having to tell her what she needed to tell her. “Well, okay, I am a little sad. I have to tell you something. You up for having a little talk?”
“Sure,” Maddie answered with a nonchalant shrug.
“Okay. Do you remember when my friends Olivia and Elliot came to talk to you?”
“Yeah. They asked me a lot of questions about my mom.”
Casey nodded. “That’s right. They did that because I asked them to.”
“They said that you wanted them to come talk to me. But why did you ask them to ask me all the questions about my mom?”
“Remember how I told you that we know people who can help people take care of their kids?” Maddie nodded, confusion knitting her brow. “We think your mom needs help taking care of you. She’s not home a lot, honey, and that’s not safe for you.”
“But it’s okay,” Maddie argued. “I can take care of myself.”
“But you shouldn’t have to take care of yourself, sweetie,” Casey said. “So, we told our friends about you and they think they can help. There’s just one hitch, though.”
“What kind of hitch?” Maddie asked, frowning at Casey’s use of that word.
“You know how you used to stay with Mrs. Miller?” Maddie nodded again. “Well, this’ll be like that, only you’ll be staying with them all the time.”
“Like, live with them?” Maddie pulled her hand out of Casey’s and furrowed her brow. “I’m not going to be living with Mommy anymore?”
Casey cleared her throat and swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. “No, sweetie. You’re going to be living with someone else from now on. And this new family will love you and take care of you just like you were their own daughter. I promise you that.”
“But I don’t want to go live with someone else!” Maddie exclaimed. “I want to stay with Mommy!”
“I know you do, sweetheart.” Casey blinked back the tears that were quickly welling in her eyes and tried to grasp the little girl’s hand again. Her heart dropped into her stomach when Maddie pulled out of her reach. “You have to trust me when I tell you that this is the best thing for you. Your mom isn’t taking care of you, Maddie. If she was, she would have stayed with you in the hospital. She should have been the one sitting with you after your surgery instead of me.”
Maddie looked into Casey’s eyes, biting her lip to keep from crying. “My mom loves me.”
Casey closed her eyes and sighed quietly. If only to make Maddie understand, she wanted to tell her that what Kim Donovan had been doing over the past eight years was not loving her daughter, but she couldn’t do that to the little girl on top of what she was already telling her. “I know your mom loves you,” she said instead, cringing inwardly at the lie, “but she needs help looking after you.”
“So you’re going to make me live with someone else?” Maddie let out a muffled sob, then regained her composure. “Who am I going to be living with? Am I going to be living with you?”
Though Casey had been anticipating that question, she was still surprised by just how much it hurt to have to tell the little girl no. “Sweetie, you know I’d love nothing more than to take you home with me, but I can’t. I’m not home any more than your mom is--”
“But that’s okay!” Maddie cried. “I’ll be good and I’ll be quiet and I can make you dinner! I’m really good at macaroni and cheese! Please, Casey, if I can’t live with Mommy, I want to live with you. Please.” She trailed off, dissolving into sobs.
In an instant, Casey settled herself on the edge of the hospital bed and wrapped the little girl in a tight hug. “Oh, sweetie, shh.” She kissed the top of Maddie’s head comfortingly. “You have to believe me when I tell you that I tried to get them to let me take you, but because of my job, I can’t. And that’s really to help you. You shouldn’t have to be the one making dinner and you shouldn’t have to put yourself to bed. You deserve to have milk and cookies waiting for you when you come home from school, you deserve to have someone cook you dinner and make you something better than macaroni and cheese, and you deserve to have someone tuck you in and give you a goodnight kiss. You deserve to be an eight-year-old girl, Maddie. There’s plenty of time for being an adult later.”
Maddie pulled out of Casey’s embrace and wiped her eyes, her sobs dwindling down to choked hiccups. “Am I ever going to go back and live with my mom?”
Casey hesitated, unsure how to answer to answer that question. She didn’t want to tell Maddie that she didn’t think Kim would be fighting to get custody back any time soon, but she also didn’t want to promise her something she didn’t believe would happen. “I think that depends on your mom, hon,” she said. It was noncommittal and not really an answer, but it was the only one she could think of that would spare Maddie’s feelings and not be a lie.
“What about you? What if I don’t like the new people? Can I come live with you then?”
Shit, she thought. Casey had not been expecting that question and as such, she was again unsure how to answer. She decided to tell the little girl the truth. “I don’t know, honey, but I’m sure you’ll like the new people a lot. If you don’t, I want you to give me a call, okay? I’ll figure something out.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
Maddie leaned into Casey’s arms and allowed her to hug her tightly. “Casey?” she said after a moment, burying her face into the ADA’s arm.
“What, honey?”
“I love you.”
Casey smiled, touched by the little girl’s admission, and planted a kiss on the top of the little girl’s head. “I love you, too, sweetheart. More than you know. I’m so sorry about all this.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Maddie said, her voice muffled by Casey’s sleeve. “You were only trying to help me.” She pulled out of the hug again and sniffled, wiping her eyes. “I’m going to miss my mom, though.”
“And that’s perfectly normal.” Casey gently tugged on a lock of the little girl’s hair. “This isn’t going to be easy. It’s going to be a hard adjustment and you’re going to miss your mom for a long time. So I need you to be really strong for me, because I promise it’ll all be worth it in the end. You deserve to have someone love you, Maddie, and the new family will.”
“Can I still call you? If I just want to talk and stuff?”
“Absolutely.”
“Will you come back here tonight when the new people come to take me?”
“If you want me to.”
Maddie nodded vigorously. “I do.”
“Okay, then I’ll be back later tonight.” Casey stood up from the bed and tousled the little girl’s hair. “Get some rest, okay? I’ll be back around four and then you and I can just hang out until the new family comes.”
“I’m scared,” Maddie said, looking up at Casey plaintively.
Casey gave the little girl a warm smile and ran her finger down her cheek. “I know you are. Truthfully, I am, too. But we both have to be very brave and everything will work out right.”
Maddie nodded. “Okay.”
Smiling, Casey gave Maddie one more hug. “I’ll be back tonight. Bye for now, sweetie.”
“Bye,” Maddie said, giving her a small wave.
Casey walked out of the hospital room, looking over her shoulder only once. As she saw Olivia, her eyes started filling with tears, a result of the tension and stress of the conversation and having to break a little girl’s heart. “How the hell do you guys have conversations like that with kids day in and day out?” she asked as Olivia wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders.
“It doesn’t get any easier,” Olivia said apologetically. “Is she all right?”
“Yeah, I think so. I don’t know. I’m coming back here at four; she wants me to be here when ACS comes with the new family.”
Olivia started walking Casey down the corridor. “Are you all right?”
Casey hesitated, trying to determine how she felt. Though she still felt guilty for turning Maddie’s life inside out, she also felt remarkably good, like she had done everything right. It wasn’t a feeling she got to experience very often, and she felt at peace. “Yeah, I think so. I feel good, Liv.”
“You did something amazing, Casey. You should feel good.”
Casey looked into Olivia’s dark eyes and smiled. “You think so?”
“Yes, I do.” Olivia gave Casey a quick kiss on the lips as the two of them made their way to the elevators. “You’re incredible, Case. You paid attention to that little girl when no one else would, and you made sure that Maddie’s case was front and center. You championed her, Casey, and you deserve all kinds of credit for that.”
Casey blushed and leaned her head on Olivia’s shoulder. “You’re no slouch yourself. There’s no way in hell I would have made it through the past week and a half without you.”
“Sure you would have,” Olivia replied with a self-conscious shrug.
“It would have been a lot harder.” The elevator doors opened and the two of them stepped into the car. As soon as the doors closed and Casey realized that she and the detective were alone, she turned to Olivia and grinned widely. “You know, there’s this Aerosmith song …”
Olivia coyly raised her eyebrows at the younger woman. “Not in a hospital, Casey.”
Casey snickered and turned to face forward. “Fine. Have it your way.”
The detective looked the ADA over and smiled. “I always do.”
Casey either didn’t hear her last comment or pretended not to hear her. Instead, she sidled up next to her and sighed. She had been through so much in the past week and a half: a bad case of pneumonia, a fight for a little girl, and the start of a new relationship. And while everything was still far from settled, she felt peaceful. Maybe, just maybe, though her life was dramatically different from where it had been not even two weeks prior, things were still going to work out for the best.