assurance

Nick was thoroughly enjoying himself. Yes he was. Lying on top of their tour bus, hidden from view, while everyone else was freaking out looking for him was one of the more amusing moments on this particular trip through Europe. He rolled to his stomach and peered over the edge. Lou was standing in the doorway of the hotel, his round face red and close to exploding. Brian ran past and Lou grabbed his arm, demanding to know if Nick had been found yet.

Brian frantically shook his head no and hurried off, nearly colliding with Howie who had been checking out the nearby park area. AJ was supposed to be searching inside, although Nick knew better. AJ was probably catching a quick nap before they left, unconcerned about Nick’s whereabouts, but thankful for the break. He didn’t know where Kevin was. Lou shouted something rude and turned around to go back inside.

Satisfied he still had a few minutes to himself, Nick rolled onto his back and gazed up at the sky. They had been in Germany for three days now, and he was sick of it. He didn’t know the language, and he kept messing up in interviews. He thought this was going to be a fun tour, but it was turning out to be all work and no play. Lou wouldn’t let them go sightseeing because he said they didn’t have time. Instead, they sat around the hotel and annoyed each other.

Okay, so Nick did most of the annoying. He was at that age where everything was boring to him. If it didn’t involve being onstage and performing, he couldn’t find anything to do. Video games only lasted so long, and no one wanted to play against him. All the other guys had girlfriends to have long, mushy phone calls with, but all he had was his mother. And he just didn’t want to deal with her, even over the phone on a different continent. She was already planning her own entrance into the spotlight once they hit it big in the States, as Lou had promised they would.

Sometimes, he wanted to scrap this whole music thing, and go be a normal kid. He wanted to ride his bike, go sailing, play basketball for a school team. Sure, recording songs and making videos was fun, but after awhile, he just wanted to play. He wondered if sacrificing his childhood and free time, and eventually his private life, was going to be worth it.

“Getting a tan?”

Nick yelped and sat up in surprise, then ducked down again to avoid being seen.

“How did you find me?”

Kevin smiled and crawled over to lie beside him. “I was checking our rooms again and happened to look out the window. I had forgotten there was a ladder on the side of the bus.”

Nick looked up, feeling a blush begin to color his cheeks. In his haste to find a place where others couldn’t see him from the ground, he had failed to remember he could be spotted from above.

“All right, so I guess the fun’s over then,” he mumbled.

Kevin folded his arms behind his head and crossed his legs at the ankles. “Nah, let’s stay up here for a few minutes. It’s kind of nice.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“For what?”

Nick frowned. He’d expected Kevin especially to be all over his ass about disappearing. “For hiding. I mean, we’re supposed to be leaving soon.”

“Frankfurt’s not going anywhere.”

“Lou’s gonna be pissed.”

“I’ll talk to him.”

Nick turned his head slightly to face Kevin. The older man’s eyes were closed and he had a small smile on his lips. Nick went back to gazing at the sky. Minutes passed in silence, and Nick wondered if Kevin had fallen asleep.

“So you wanna tell me what’s up?” Kevin asked, his eyes still closed.

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you hiding?”

“Oh.” Nick shrugged, forgetting that Kevin wasn’t watching him. “I’m just tired.”

“We all are.”

“And Lou’s being an ass.”

“I’m with you on that, too.”

Nick frowned. Usually Kevin wasn’t this agreeable. “And I’m kind of homesick.”

Kevin didn’t say anything. He just waited, because he knew that if given enough time, Nick would spill.

After a moment of making shapes out of the clouds, Nick blurted out, “And I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I mean, I’m giving up a lot of stuff just to do this, and I don’t know if it’s worth it. And I don’t know if we’re going to be together ten years from now, or if we’ll be successful, or if Lou is being fair to us, or if I’m going to grow up and be really messed up because of this.”

Kevin opened his eyes. “You don’t think we’ll be okay?”

“Well...I didn’t say that...”

Kevin propped himself up on his elbow and looked at Nick. “But you need to be assured, is that it?”

Nick pondered this, and then nodded slowly. “I guess. Like, my dad has always been there to tell us kids that everything’s going to be all right. He always believed I would ace my auditions, and that we’d be okay, even when money was tight. But he’s not here with me for this, and maybe I need to be assured by someone other than Lou.”

“How about me?”

Nick looked at Kevin, and for the first time, really saw him as an older brother, a protector of sorts. “Yeah, you’ll do.”

“All right then. I can’t promise you, Nick, that things will turn out the way we hope they will, but I can promise you that I’ll always be there to look out for you and the others. You’ve become my family, and you’re very important to me. If you have problems, or just need to talk, come find me. Don’t run away. I might not be able to solve your problem, but I’ll listen.” He sat up, resting his hand so his knees. “One more thing. Whatever happens with this group, good or bad, we stick together. Whether it happens tomorrow or 20 years from now. Does that make you feel better?”

Oddly enough, it did. Nick nodded.

“Ready to join the others?”

“Sure. Frankfurt is waiting, right?”

They carefully climbed down from the roof of the bus and looked around to see if anyone had noticed them. Seeing no one, they started walking towards the hotel. Just as they reached the door, Lou met them.

“Where the hell were you? We have to get going!” he exclaimed.

Nick opened his mouth to confess, when Kevin stepped up and said, “He was in the only place we didn’t look, on the bus.”

“He was on the bus?”

“Yup, just resting. The curtains were closed and he was listening to his CD player, so he didn’t know we were looking for him. But he’s here, and we can hit the road now.”

Lou seemed satisfied with this answer and headed back inside to get the others. Nick grinned.

“You lied to him.”

“Not entirely,” Kevin said, putting an arm around Nick’s shoulders.

They shared a laugh and went inside to wait in the lobby.

~end