The Cheesebrothers are recieving screeners now(!). Yes, that's right. Folks that make movies want to actually WANT to hear our opinion (what's wrong with you?); and, hopefully (I pray so), these filmmaker's don't think their movies are cinematic masterpieces - cause why would you mail to the CHEESEbrothers? In fact, the director of The Third Society (the 3rd sceener recieved this month) warned me to watch this flick while armed with a 12 pack. Honestly, it would take at least 6 full kegs to make this one look good.
Let's get started on the review. For starters, the title has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the plot. Come to think of it, there's no society involved. I have a more appropriate title: Unassembled Stock Footage: The Movie. The story deals with Jones, a "cop" whose sister has been kidnapped. Seems Jones busted some hoods and diverted a funds transfer - and they want their money back. Kidnapping her sister is their best means to do so. Now, I know this sounds like a simple storyline - but, believe me, the direction is so hackneyed and dialogue so inane, it took 2 full viewings to get that much out of it.
The Third Society is an action film. And boy, there's tons of it. Unfortunately, director/writer/co-editor/star J.A. Steel (real name Jacquelyn A. Ruffner) doesn't know how to stage suspense scenes. They begin without establishing time of day or location and end abruptly. For example: We see a boat. It's daytime. Suddenly, Jones pops out of a cabin and begins firing rounds (that sound suspiciously like blanks) at bad guys. She wrestles somebody. They fall into the water. A boat rescues Jones. Scene over. What the? Who? What? Where? The script tries to salvage things by explaining these goons were sent to kill Jones. But - come on. This is horribly staged. Then, to make things worse (and even more confusing), they throw in a convoluted side-plot concerning Jones as she witnessed her mother (who was dressed in an outfit MADE for squibs, a white, oversized man's button-down dress shirt) being killed years before.
In a clever bit of casting, an African American female police captain (see sarcasm here?) explains, through voice-overs (damn near every word of dialoge spoken was recorded in post), that Jones doesn't fill out her paper work. Ha, ha, ha. Great joke. What fuckin' writing! Take that Hollywood cliches...oh wait, this movie IS a cliche. More problems follow. The editing is TERRIBLE. Some of (if not) the worst this critic has ever seen. Shots are looped. An entire fight scene is missing sound effects (for the punches/kicks landing!). The axis (which was never established by the director of photography) is broken as entire fight scenes are jump-cut from only one shot. The slow-motion is poured on - and scenes of Jones jogging are WAAAAYYYY too long! Plus, the way the film is thrown together, it's nearly impossible to decipher the story. There's no flow. Fortunately (make that UNfortunately), the same song is looped whenever action is to happen (an unbearable grunge guitar piece) so, despite the poor direction, you can get prepared for a chase, suspense or fight scene.
Scariest of all, there was money involved here. The film stock looks great. Aerial photography is used during (what should have been) several key scenes. To add to the problems, Ray Charles must have director of photography during the airport shoot - as all the foorage is HOT with a capital H. I mean, the pavement is white. Who forgot the light-meter? P.A. - I'm looking toward you!
Now, there are some plusses here. Never have I seen a film on this budget level so incompitent. So, bad movie lovers can expect a great time while watching The Third Society. See fight scenes where one bullet takes out two people standing 20 feet from eachother. Hear voice-overs while character's faces are off screen (for example: "Get up. You fight like a girl!"). Watch as no two scenes cut together properly and the "story" flows backword. There's unintentional hilarity as an FBI agent, who always enters Jones' house without knocking, watches her shower (and funny enough - whenever he arrives - she IS naked). Then, during a scene of dialogue exchanges, the camera STAYS on him. Steel delivers her lines as if she's reading from a script - then, low and behold, you hear the crinkling of a page turn in the background. What's scariest is the nudity. While Steel has the machismo of a female action hero (think Cynthia Rothrock), she lacks sex appeal. However, her breasts do pop up during the film's duration. Is there confusion here? I mean, director Steel would have a much stronger case for this being a film that supports females, without being sexist, IF she had kept her clothes on. Steel does, however, have an oddly compelling demeanor about her. And, with the right project, she may just have what it takes to be pretty successful in the direct-to-video market as a female action star. She is totally watchable and kind of endearing. However, Steel will need to find projects not written or directed by herself. Or, before she takes the helm again, she should read up on filmmaking 101.
The Low Point: As Jones tries to borrow a helicopter for official use, she yells "Police" before removing her gun! What? If you don't let a police officer use your vehicle - you can be shot?
Let's get started on the review. For starters, the title has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the plot. Come to think of it, there's no society involved. I have a more appropriate title: Unassembled Stock Footage: The Movie. The story deals with Jones, a "cop" whose sister has been kidnapped. Seems Jones busted some hoods and diverted a funds transfer - and they want their money back. Kidnapping her sister is their best means to do so. Now, I know this sounds like a simple storyline - but, believe me, the direction is so hackneyed and dialogue so inane, it took 2 full viewings to get that much out of it.
The Third Society is an action film. And boy, there's tons of it. Unfortunately, director/writer/co-editor/star J.A. Steel (real name Jacquelyn A. Ruffner) doesn't know how to stage suspense scenes. They begin without establishing time of day or location and end abruptly. For example: We see a boat. It's daytime. Suddenly, Jones pops out of a cabin and begins firing rounds (that sound suspiciously like blanks) at bad guys. She wrestles somebody. They fall into the water. A boat rescues Jones. Scene over. What the? Who? What? Where? The script tries to salvage things by explaining these goons were sent to kill Jones. But - come on. This is horribly staged. Then, to make things worse (and even more confusing), they throw in a convoluted side-plot concerning Jones as she witnessed her mother (who was dressed in an outfit MADE for squibs, a white, oversized man's button-down dress shirt) being killed years before.
In a clever bit of casting, an African American female police captain (see sarcasm here?) explains, through voice-overs (damn near every word of dialoge spoken was recorded in post), that Jones doesn't fill out her paper work. Ha, ha, ha. Great joke. What fuckin' writing! Take that Hollywood cliches...oh wait, this movie IS a cliche. More problems follow. The editing is TERRIBLE. Some of (if not) the worst this critic has ever seen. Shots are looped. An entire fight scene is missing sound effects (for the punches/kicks landing!). The axis (which was never established by the director of photography) is broken as entire fight scenes are jump-cut from only one shot. The slow-motion is poured on - and scenes of Jones jogging are WAAAAYYYY too long! Plus, the way the film is thrown together, it's nearly impossible to decipher the story. There's no flow. Fortunately (make that UNfortunately), the same song is looped whenever action is to happen (an unbearable grunge guitar piece) so, despite the poor direction, you can get prepared for a chase, suspense or fight scene.
Scariest of all, there was money involved here. The film stock looks great. Aerial photography is used during (what should have been) several key scenes. To add to the problems, Ray Charles must have director of photography during the airport shoot - as all the foorage is HOT with a capital H. I mean, the pavement is white. Who forgot the light-meter? P.A. - I'm looking toward you!
Now, there are some plusses here. Never have I seen a film on this budget level so incompitent. So, bad movie lovers can expect a great time while watching The Third Society. See fight scenes where one bullet takes out two people standing 20 feet from eachother. Hear voice-overs while character's faces are off screen (for example: "Get up. You fight like a girl!"). Watch as no two scenes cut together properly and the "story" flows backword. There's unintentional hilarity as an FBI agent, who always enters Jones' house without knocking, watches her shower (and funny enough - whenever he arrives - she IS naked). Then, during a scene of dialogue exchanges, the camera STAYS on him. Steel delivers her lines as if she's reading from a script - then, low and behold, you hear the crinkling of a page turn in the background. What's scariest is the nudity. While Steel has the machismo of a female action hero (think Cynthia Rothrock), she lacks sex appeal. However, her breasts do pop up during the film's duration. Is there confusion here? I mean, director Steel would have a much stronger case for this being a film that supports females, without being sexist, IF she had kept her clothes on. Steel does, however, have an oddly compelling demeanor about her. And, with the right project, she may just have what it takes to be pretty successful in the direct-to-video market as a female action star. She is totally watchable and kind of endearing. However, Steel will need to find projects not written or directed by herself. Or, before she takes the helm again, she should read up on filmmaking 101.
The Low Point: As Jones tries to borrow a helicopter for official use, she yells "Police" before removing her gun! What? If you don't let a police officer use your vehicle - you can be shot?
The High Point: ALL the fight scenes. Such as one where Jones is swapping gunfire with bad guys standing 10 feet away from her (without something to hide behind) - and no one is hit. Or, where Jones dodges bullets(????). Really. I'm not kidding. WHO greenlighted this?
The Bottom Line: Movies are made to entertain and, possibly not for the reasons the cast and crew had hoped, this flick is fun as hell. Watch it on a bad movie night. We highly recommend it. Most importantly, it's never boring.