In-jokes are a great thing in film! Especially, in the indie scene. This is probably explains why Kevin Smith has such a large cult following. Well, it seems to me Stiches has one large in-joke. The evil character of Mrs. Albright. See, I'm aware that Tempe honcho J.R. Bookwalter (a producer here) once dated an Ariauna Albright. Ha ha ha! Okay - there's the cleverest thing about this dreadfull film..

This "movie" follows an evil demon who poses as elederly Mrs. Albright. She heads to a 1940's (or 50's - I honestly didn't pay attention) private boarding house to collect souls. There are lots of terrible actors here, but one standout is, shall I say, a very flamboyant man - who doesn't come off believably as an adulterous husband.

The scariest thing about Stitches is its DVD release. It's double billed with the slightly less awful Dead and Rotting, which feels about 12 hours long. After finishing Rotting, - you go to the main menu screen, only to encounter...Stitches!!!!!!!!! Ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stitches could be THE WORST acted and directed studio film I've ever rented! Talk about a sub-porno quality produciton. Love the set! Yes, that's singular - set. They only had one (obviously). It's worth a rental to see the hilarious behind-the-scenes featurette; where poor diluted actors REALLY BELIEVE they are in a production worth a shit. So sorry.

The Bottom Line: Makes you WISH you were in Hell.