Firewalker, 1986, is the worst film Chuck Norris has ever made - As unbelievable as this statement sounds, it's true! His official resume includes something more tedious than Hellbound (ughhhh; shudder).
The plot is a complete rip-off of Raiders of the Lost Arc and is so convoluted, that it would take months for a complete explaination. Here's an attempt at a synopsis; Norris is a treasure seeker who, along with obligatory black sidekick Louis (Bram Stoker's The Mummy) Gossit Jr. (reviving his fantastic Jaws 3D performance), stumbles into retrieving lost artifacts from an ancient tribe somewhere in South America...or was that Mexico...who knows?.
What ensues is completely predictable. The sets are dimestore...wait, make that nickel store, quality and the "chemistry" between actors marred by laughable dialogue. Ed Wood's films had a better narrative. On the positive side, Firewalker never drags, and is second only to Top Dog as Norris' best bad movie. Lots of unintentional laughs.
The low point: The attempted Bing Crosby/Dean Martin road humor that comes off more like Ishtar's Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman.
The high point: A continuity error; the main villian's eye patch continually switches sides.
Bottom Line: Makes Allan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold look like Ghandi.
SECOND WARNING: Director J. Lee Thompson fell asleep at the helm and allowed this mess to run for 104 minutes. Drowsiness may occur. Heavy drinking may induce this effect. Rated PG.
