Travelling on train in Melbourne is great, even though public transport is for jerks and lesbians.  Lowering myself to the level of that I took the train aroung Melbourne and found out it was also for many other types of people.  Such as retards, common window lickers and all the many other charity cases, jerks and pansys who seem to make up a big majority at times down there.

when you can board a train and see a well groomed dude dressed in a good business suite stomping up and down trying to ward off demons and having a go at his reflection, or crazy liqured-up hobos who seem to know Jesus personally then it's all worth it!