This is a pretty basic rant � no fancy titles which involve a grain of thought, just a simple, blunt one �, and it is about (surprise~) things that I hate. I�m not talking general things, for the most part (such as anti-abortion people, homophobics, racists, etc.) Rather, I�m discussing specific things that I really do not like. Will I talk about everything I don�t like? Hell, no. That would take up way too much time and web space. (read as: if you are positive that I don�t like you, and I don�t mention you here, don�t get your hopes up. I probably just don�t care enough to mark you down at the moment.)

So, without further ado... Things I Hate. (ie, My Random Shit List.)

CYOA (Choose Your Own Adventure) Fanfiction

Okay, seriously, what is UP with this shit? I mean, the CYOA books were bad enough as it is � and at least those were legitimate, money-making books that little fifth-graders thought were so cool �cause they, the readers, were involved. But recently, I started seeing a whole bunch of CYOA fanfiction, mainly in the anime section, and mainly in Yu Yu Hakusho at that.

And let me tell you � they suck. I mean, really, nothing with the summary of "YouxHiei story!! You stumble on the YYH gang and suddenly you�re faced with a trial of love! Will Hiei admit his feelings?!!! Find out!" or the like can ever be good. (By the way, I made up the summary, but to be honest, it was probably better than most of the stories out there. No joke.)

It's like these people are taking Mary Sue fanfics (those evil, evil things) to another extreme. No only are most of the stories about falling in love, but it is a GUARANTEED self-insertion! People aren�t even pretending that their Mary Sue character isn�t themselves idealized; in fact, they�re insisting on it. It�s disgusting. (And it might not be so irritating if some of the "you" characters were male (or at least an unspecified gender), but more often than not they're female, which kind of bites for any males who want to get it on with Kurama. I mean, really, it�s not like Kurama would care either way.)

It sucks even more because the CYOA idea isn�t even a good idea to begin with. Hasn�t anyone ever wondered why the CYOA books (the real ones) never made it past one or two years of semi-popularity, and even then, only for grade school kids? It�s because it�s a bad idea. Cute, yes. Mildly interesting, sort of. But good? No. It�s not even good in the children�s section of things � even then it�s just so-so. And those are the real CYOA books.

So what makes people think that CYOA fanfiction is any better? Especially considering that it�s becoming mass produced. I mean, honestly � why are people making it easier to insert self-based, idealized Mary Sue characters into fanfiction? It pisses me off to no extent. Mainly just because they�re wasting internet space and clogging up certain websites (such as Fanfiction.net, which is overfull anyway.) But it also irritates me because these authors are blatantly taking the easy way out � instead of actually putting effort into writing a good fanfiction that people will want to review, they�re deliberately writing a shoddy, cliche story that insists upon reviews to continue. Fuck you, CYOA writers. Work like the rest of us, or get the hell away from fanfiction, �cause your crappy excuse for writing won�t get you anywhere.

The Movie "Sinbad"

I�m talking about that animated Disney version (though I�m not certain if there even is a live-action one, I just wanted to clarify.) And really, I usually enjoy Disney a great deal � I think it rules. Anything that�s Disney!animated typically rocks my world, especially some movies like Treasure Planet (I don�t care what people say, that movie was awesome) and The Emperor�s New Groove and the like. But I�m afraid that Sinbad fell distinctly short of the mark.

For one, the writer�s didn�t even try to make it anything but disgustingly cliche. My brother � who has never seen the movie � predicted what would happen by the cover: "Oh, you have the bad-ass chick, the funny dog, and the evil-but-actually-good main guy. The guy and girl fall in love, the guy redeems himself, and they go off and live happily together. Or something like that." So sayeth my brother. And that�s exactly what happens. Now, yes, I know that this is Disney, and I really shouldn�t expect too much, but this was way below par, even for them. And that wasn�t what pissed me off the most.

See, the character Sinbad, while cool in a rebellious deviant kind of way, was a total jackass. I am not kidding. This guy was not the cliche bad-but-good main character, who has a bad attitude but redeemable qualities and is generally a good person. And yet, Sinbad was paraded around just like the cliche version of bad-but-good characters � the entire story revolved around his redeeming himself, and suggested very strongly that he was a good guy. And in the end, it all worked out for him. And I was just like, "What the fuck?"

Seriously. Sinbad, after being accused of stealing this Book of Peace thing, was sentenced to be executed � but his best friend, a cool-ass prince named Proteus, stepped in and took his place, giving him ten days to find the Book of Peace (because Sinbad knew where it was.) Sinbad leaves and decides to betray Proteus and run off to Fiji, instead of at least trying to get the book. He does wind up, in the end, going after the book, but then only because Proteus� fiancee, Melina, sneaks on board and bribes him to with diamonds.

Of course, after that, Sinbad falls in love with Melina and decides that being an honorable man for her is more important than riches and stuff, and everything winds up working out, but seriously! This is the kind of guy that we, the audience, are supposed to admire? He betrayed his best friend, and later only helped save him because he was bribed to. And yes, I know he decides to go back and face execution later � which ends up saving his own hide, incidentally �, but in general, this guy is a completely selfish asshole. And we�re supposed to admire him? Just because Sinbad "redeemed himself" in the end � which I personally don�t think he actually did, because everything he did was still, essentially, for himself � doesn�t make him a good person. It�s like telling kids that they can be traitors and jackasses and still have everything work out, if they apologize for it in the end. Like those people who suddenly "find God" when it suits them. Like asking forgiveness for murdering someone coldheartedly a minute before you're executed, just to save your own hide. And other such things.

Maybe the reason this movie annoys me so badly is because Sinbad is glorified so much, while the real honorable character, Proteus, is shoved into the background. Proteus is the prince of Syracuse, and he is first shown defending the Book of Peace with his life (and doing it very well at that.) Later, he forgives Sinbad for trying to rob him (while it may just have been because they were old friends, I still think it takes character to just forgive someone like that), and then asks Melina permission to marry her, despite the fact that it was an arranged marriage and she would have to anyway, if he wanted her to (which he clearly does.) Later, Proteus trusts Sinbad enough to believe him when he says that he did not steal the book (which he didn�t), and takes Sinbad�s place on the execution row, because he doesn�t want an innocent man to die. Not only that, but after Sinbad and Melina return, Proteus accepts that Melina loves Sinbad and tells her to follow her heart.

On the flip side, all Sinbad does is betray Proteus� trust, accept bribery to do what, in all good conscience, he should do anyway, and fall in love with Proteus� fiancee. Now, I understand that love can�t be controlled, but Sinbad didn�t even think about the fact that Melina was engaged, and to his apparent best friend, too. (Neither did Melina, for that matter, but that�s just another reason that I dislike this movie.) So basically, throughout the movie, Sinbad is completely selfish, while Proteus is completely selfless. And yet, for some fucked up reason, Sinbad is the glorified character, while Proteus is screwed over.

Um, excuse me? I�m sorry, but that just pisses me off. It�s great that Sinbad and Melina have everything work out hunky-dory for them and all, but the fact that Proteus� situation was blatantly ignored aggravates me. I am a huge Proteus fan � he was kind, intelligent, caring, and loyal to a fault. He had so many good, wonderful traits that they�re hard to count, and the only flaw I could really see was that he was a bit too willing to trust. And what happens to him? He is betrayed (though he didn�t know it), almost executed, and in the end, left without his fiancee. And he just accepts it.

Why doesn�t Disney glorify him? Just because Proteus didn�t go through some amazing adventure � it�s not like he can�t fight; he proved his valor right in the beginning � doesn�t mean that he�s some pathetic, background character. He is so much more of a role model than Sinbad is, in any sense of the word � I mean, he values his responsibilities, the feelings of others, and the truth over himself and his wants. He is an amazing role model, and a great character. Yet, the movie glorifies Sinbad � who is not the kind of person that I would ever want my kids to turn out like, considering that he�s a thieving, betraying asshole � and screws over Proteus, who is so caring and selfless that it�s scary.

(For the record, I do like Sinbad as a character. He�s cool, in a bastardly sort of way. I just detest how emphasized he is, considering his unsavory character, in comparison to Proteus, who I like so much more.)

...and that, my peers, is why I don�t like the movie Sinbad. Grr.

Hiead Gner (Megami Kouhosei)

Hate him hate him hate him. With all my soul. He tries to kill Zero at every chance he gets, he beat Yamagi to a pulp without remorse, he is a COMPLETE JACKASS, and he is utterly without redemption. He is a sadistic asshole, and not a very clever one at that. Yes, he is necessary to the plot of MK, and I can acknowledge that, but he is a jerk, and I hate him.

Hatehatehate.

Hatehate.

.....

...

Hate.

I do have more things I hate. Don�t think that I�m done here, because I�m really not. But, as I�m sure all of you know, typing out rants (especially ones about things you hate) is an exhausting procedure, and can only keep going for so long. My point being that while I know I hate many more things that just what is listed above, I don�t have the energy to be angry for so long. Or to think of more things that I dislike enough to write with as much intensity as what I have above. I�m mentally very tired.

Don�t worry, though. I�m sure a "Things I Hate v. 2.0" will show up sometime in the future. Just not now. ^_^