Unca Cheeks the Toy Wonder's Silver Age Comics Web Site!
The First (and mebbe only] UNCA CHEEKS PIERCING AND UNHOLY GAZE WEBSITE AWARDS!
It'll all end in tears, I tell you. Just see if it
doesn't. 
The fourteen web sites listed below are all the proud and happy winners --
and, oh, never has such a simple and straightforward word been so brutally
mistreated! -- of the UNCA CHEEKS PIERCING AND UNHOLY GAZE WEBSITE AWARD: a distinction every last bit as notable and praiseworthy as being designated
Richard Gere's gerbil du jour, and (doubtless) just as painful
and mortifying.
In all seriousness, however -- or, at least, in whatever clumsily passes for same, 'round these here parts -- the online partytowns so awarded have all (at one time or another) served as website role models to your envious and imitative Unca, and his own cybernetic slum shanty; or else have edified and/or entertained him so mightily, over the years, as to provide both goad and goal to his own ridiculously lesser efforts, in turn.
It is with a wholly genuine sense of commingled indebtedness and gratitude, then, that a grateful Unca doffs his rumpled cowl in the general direction of these: his online heroes and heroines.
They all just plain ol' rock, is what it is.
Like the '60s era Pete Townshend, in concert, even.
In alphabetical order, then:
1.)THE CLASSIC COMIC BOOKS HOME PAGE
WHAT IT IS,
IS: ... no, no: Unca didn't get the given name of the site wrong,
in this particular instance. It's just that the sub-section "header,"
above, is a darned site more attractive a bit o' eye candy than the plainer
(though still perfectly functional, mind) one atop the "baseline" introductory
page to this informative and well-organized site, is all.
This site eschews flash and filigree in favor of straightforward
chronology, "event" detailing and summarization; making it (as one of Unca's
droller, more pixie-ish correspondents recently opined) "sort of the potatoes
to go with your cheese." The little smartass.
All of the accompanying pix scans are thumbnailed, for your browsing convenience.
(A cyber-feat Unca, himself, despairs of ever properly mastering, quite
frankly. Every time I attempt it... voila!
Corrupted file entry! It's all a stinking Communist plot, I tell
you -- !)
Unca says: settle in for a good, long read with this'un, chilluns.
One can never have too many Silver Age-friendly sites hereabouts, after
all.
2.)THE COMICS LITERATURE REVIEWER
WHAT IT IS, IS: ... a site I've been meaning to get
around to recommending to you, one and all, for quite some time now,
actually.
Don't let the officious-seeming word "literature" in said site's name throw
you for the proverbial loop, now. This gent's particular online
casa is as appropriately accessible a one as it is entertaining and even
(where appropriate) incisive; a well-balanced blend of the cerebral and
the cut-up, if you like. (... and Unca most assuredly does.)
CLR occasionally stretches its reach beyond the outermost four-color parameters of the Silver and the Bronze... but there's old-timey and nostalgic stuff aplenty; enough to satisfy (and maybe even sate) the most jaded and demanding of Unca's own regulars, hereabouts.
As previously mentioned: I've been meaning to clue you all in to this'un for quite the little while, now, all told.
So... what's keeping you, then...?
3.)DC
SUPERSTARS ("A Site Dedicated To Pre-CRISIS Comics")
WHAT IT IS,
IS: ... the sort of site that Unca wishes had been around before his
own, so he coulda been a reg'lar contributor.
A good, hearty meat'n'potatoes site: straightforward
positions and retrospectives, laid out with precision and clarity. (Hmmmmmmm.
On second thought: maybe Unca wouldn't have made the grade,
then, contributions-wise.)
Thoughtful and detailed articles on such long-time favorites as The Secret Society of Super-Villains; Captain Comet; the Kirby-era Sandman; and The 7 Soldiers of Victory (among others) make this site a stone pleasure to visit, for those readers out there whose memories stretch somewhat further back than breakfast, yesterday; and -- other than the fact that there should be a whole more lotta such articles, really (hint, hint) -- there's nothing, really, that Unca would change 'bout it, given his own druthers.
G'wan. Give it a look.
You won't be disappointed.
4.)
FANS ON THE WEB ("Comics
and Features By, For and About SF Fans")
WHAT IT IS, IS: ... your one-stop shopping center for
the weirdest, wackiest and wonderfulest Links Page on the web, if'n you
gots any interest in comic books and/or science fiction (whatever the medium)
at all.
Have a deep-seated yen to check out a website dedicated to science fiction haiku? Wanna giggle and goggle over "erotic" fiction centering specifically on STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION character Wesley Crusher? Looking to satisfy that long-secret itch to see helpless and innocent Barbie dolls transformed into perky S&M bondage babes and chipper goth gals? All aflame with curiosity as to who, oh, who made the final cut, re: "The Top 10 Anime Skanks of All Time"...?
All right here, pals'n'gals.
You want waycool "Top 10 Lists"...? How about The Top 10 POKEMON
Pick-Up Lines"? "The Top 10 Ways To Annoy a Jedi"? "The
Top 10 Sexiest Gay Cartoon Characters"? (Unca knows good and darned
well that he's never gonna be able to look at Archie and Jughead
the same way, from this point onward. That's for darned sure.)
... and, of course: there's the weekdaily updated FANS comic strip; a hilarious, fanboy-skewering feature which should rightwise be required viewing for anybody out there's who's ever had a close one of the third kind with some portly, pimply mouth-breathing sort with a dice bag or dime store "light saber" where his cerebral cortex oughtta be.
This site is (as the kiddies are wont to say) "da bomb."
5.)FANZING
WHAT IT IS, IS: ... the (THE!) site for anyone with Any. Conceivable. Interest. What. So. Ever. regarding DC Comics characters of the present day.
Spearheaded by that envy of all men; despoiler of women; and stalwart spandexed defender of llamas everywhere, Michael "I'm-the-REAL-
Elongated Man-Dammit!" Hutchison, FANZING puts a big, goofy grin across Unca's age-ravaged features each'n'every month, with articles and features ranging the DC-oriented gamut from the admirably cerebral ("How To Save the Comics Industry") to the slap-happily silly ("What's Wrong With Batman's Crotch?").
There's also a freighter barge load of "fanfic" offered up for public viewing, issue after issue: some of it actually pretty darned good (Unca, himself, is not much of a "fanfic" kinda guy, in all honesty; so, that praising-with-faint-damns-type recommendation should be taken as a positive, overall), and even the worst of it displaying (at the very least) a wholly praiseworthy enthusiasm for the respective source material(s).
Other than a pronounced (and inexplicable) anti-Grant Morrison bias, throughout the greater portion of the entries -- and, heck; every site has its own peculiar li'l "gimmes," overall; Unca's has eighteen or TWENTY of 'em <g> -- there is absolutely stone nothing hereabouts which is anything but A Guaranteed Good Time; top to bottom, front to back.
There's a darned good reason Unca's been showcasing the logo hyperlink to this 'zine right smack-dab on Page One of his own site, for nigh on two years, now, people.
Bottom line: FANZING sets thegold standard, comics site-wise.
You haven't been there, lately: you go there Right Now.
... and then you tell Mike you're sorry, dammit.
6.)THE JLA WATCHTOWER
WHAT IT IS, IS: ... Unca's favorite
title-oriented site on the web; hands down, no questions asked.
It's also one of the most singularly attractive sites out there, quite frankly; with all the nifty li'l sorts of visual bells and whistles and whatnot that Unca's always coveted for his own dilapidated digs; and (doubtless) would have long since gone overboard on, if afforded the opportunity to do so.
This site, however, gets the balance exactly right, in Unca's opinion; balancing the "eye candy" stuff with plenty in the way of substantive and informative articles on all things JLA-ish.
All LEAGUE eras are properly represented, here; with especial emphasis accorded
(quite rightly) to the earliest and most recent incarnations of same.
(Why order something from the school cafeteria, when you can nosh on freshly-prepared
steak tartar...?)
(Said site is also helmed, by the by, by one of the swellest fellahs ever
to log himself online: the affable and outgoing xsufiru@aol.com.
So make a note to drop the gent a quick e-mail "howdy-do," after admiring his
peerless paean to DC Comics' flagship team title.)
7.)THE SILVER AGE MARVEL COMICS COVER INDEX
WHAT IT IS, IS: ... one of two
sites from which Unca has cribbed cover images and pics so repeatedly and relentlessly,
over the years (whenever the cover[s] of Unca's own comic[s] is/are too tattered
[or non-existent] to make for ready scanning): the generous proprietor
of same really ought to be considered something of a unindicted co-conspirator.
This is a (you should only pardon the expression) marvelously focused
and dedicated site; scrupulously maintained (and religiously updated) by its
splendid host, genial Aussie Nick Simon. And if there's a significant
Marvel Comics cover between (say) '60 and '71, '72 which isn't lovingly
represented herein, then it's certainly escaped Unca's enfeebled attention.
(This site is one freakin', Godzilla-sized bandwidth monster, boy.
We're talkin' just-this-side-of-Yahoo!, here.)
The SAMCCI is also one of the most unfailingly user-friendly sites on the web; pages painstakingly linked and cross-referenced to one another for easy, rapid click-to-click enjoyment. (No small cyber-potatoes, these; it's the readily discernible difference between a true online gentleman, and just another yip-yop with a high-speed modem and too much free time on his hands, between X-FILES re-runs.)
Unca Cheeks just plain ol' admires the holy livin' heck out of this site, campers'n'camperettes.
More so than perhaps any other one, out there: it's this
site's one, true "role model."
8.)THE MIGHTY (YET MODEST) TWO TUB MAN'S COMICS COVER SCAN HQ
My God, but this is a lovely, wonderful comics web site!
Any "modesty" this guy feels it incumbent upon himself to undergo, in this regard, is roughly as merited as that of (say) Sammy Sosa's, re: the ability to decently whack at a ball with a baseball bat.
We are talkin' seriously, seriously Waycool and Groovy, here, people.
Basically -- and this is not altogether an exacct analogy, mind; Unca is deliberately daubing in the very broadest of strokes, here -- "Two Tub's" excellent site is the DC Comics counterpart to "Nick Fury's" aforementioned Marvel one, focusing upon those halcyonic and incomperable days of the DC Silver Age; with cover scans so lovingly reproduced, it's almost like holding the books in your own two hands.
"Two Tub" -- and spank me if that ain't one of thee two or three all-time nifty-keen-o-est "handles" in all of recorded online history -- is clearly a gent of tastes and inclinations similar to Unca's own; as said scans are large, lush ones (the way Unca likes 'em).
Basically: this guy's playin' in a whole 'nother league than
are most the rest of us smarty-mouthed online shlubs.
9.)THE PERIODIC TABLE OF
COMIC BOOKS
WHAT IT IS, IS: ... the smartest
comics-oriented site on the web: bar none. Nobody.
Nada. NYET.
Co-Manned by "Per'fesser" Quentin Long's long-lost evil twin -- Jack
"As-Seen-In-The-Pages-of-ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY-and-NEWSWEEK" Selegue --
said site is a science geek's fondest and most fabulous online wet dream.
And Unca (who cheerfully counts himself as an amateur science geek, in
good and proper standing) voices that sentiment as genuine and heartfelt compliment,
mind. (Unca wants to be noted pseudo-science debnker deluxe James Randi,
when he finally grows up.)
Every real element know to man, catalogued and expressed by means of good, solid super-hero and science fiction comic book examples (The Metal Men; Metamorpho; Iron Man; etcetera, etcetera). Every made-up element known to man -- your "adamantium"; your "inertron"; your "Rainbow Kryptonite" -- likewise delineated and detailed, via similarly apt and entertaining examples.
You can either be a schlemeil, all your life...
... or: you can go visit THE PERIODIC TABLE OF COMIC BOOKS.
Your choice.
10.)SUPERHEROINES OF THE SILVER AGE
WHAT IT IS, IS: ... the single honors nominee on whose
behalf Unca is most assured of receiving any number of cranky; strident; and/or
ill- tempered e-mail objections.
Lookit, gang: Unca makes no apologies whatsoever for being an appreciative and enthusiastic admirer of the well-proportioned female form. That's the way the ol' bio-wiring works, in his particular instance: an ankle turned this way, or a thigh curved that way, and --
... well: and you've most assuredly snagged his interest.
Let's just leave it at that, shall we...?
All of that being unblushingly moved and seconded, then: Unca's just gonna come right on out and tell you that this site's "gimme" is the taking of various PLAYBOY Playmates (and similarly blessedly well- endowed ladies of an exhibitionist bent), and -- by means of an arcane sort of cyber -technology which is well and truly above Unca's head, by golly, by jingo -- "dressing" them (note the exculpatory quotation marks, please) in the familiar spandex and mufti and various Silver Age comics heroines.
The distaff amongst you out there, reading this, are (doubtless) more than a little offended by all of this (although frankly admiring women who've had clothing solicitously placed on 'em really doesn't seem all that gosh-darned evil or wrong, from where Unca's a-sittin').
The non-hetero amongst you out there, reading this, are (again: doubtless) bored to distraction and beyond by the very concept. (... and there's no good reason why you shouldn't be, neither, He Added Hastily.)
For all the rest of you, however:
Ready. Set. Drool.
11.)TONY'S ONLINE TIPS
WHAT IT IS,
IS: ... the most uniformly well-written comics site out there;
courtesy of veteran wordsmith Tony (BLACK LIGHTNING) Isabella,
mebbe the nicest guy in the field, entire.
In all nekkid honesty, people: Unca scarcely
knows what sort of verbal garland or gardyloo to lob the multi-talented Mr.
Isabella's way, really. I mean: it ain't 'zactly a little-known
or seldom visited site, y'know?
ANYdamnbody even remotely interested in the comics scene already attends
"Pope" Isabella's scintillating services, religiously (because they bloody well
should); and EVERYdamnbody walks away enlightened; entertained; or (as
is most often the scenario) both. Because Tony Isabella is just
precisely that bloody good.
Every. Single. Freakin'. Day, mind, now.
For the past three, four years, no less.
In terms of sheer, steely-eyed determination and stamina, alone: that sure as heck beats anything Unca's seen Superman accomplish, lately.
It is nothing less than purest, unadulterated chutzpah, really; this business of someone goony and insignificant as Unca, doling out an "award" to someone who is (demonstrably; in every way) his online better.
Nonetheless: if there's any one individual, online, who merits priase and plaudit more than the industry's own answer to the late, great Mike Royko...
... well: there just isn't, is all.
12.)WOMEN IN REFRIGERATORS
WHAT
IT IS, IS: Don't let the (comparatively) teensy-tiny size
of the banner fool ya, kiddies.
This is one big, big, BIG comics-oriented site; entertainment- and
enlightenment-wise.
Dedicated to the exploration of (and sharp, savage commentary upon) the issue of Violence Towards Women In Mainstream Comics -- and replete with considered responses to same by practically every comics writer you've ever heard of, for the love of Bobby Kanigher! -- the WIR site is nothing less than a long-overdue wake-up call for readers and professionals alike; sounding the storytelling charge against brute misogyny and the four-color adventure genre's longstanding Boys-Only- Beyond-This-Point mind-set.
Names are named. Fingers are pointed. And charges are (believe you me) laid out with a numbing, Nuremberg-like efficiency.
This site also boasts of one of the liveliest and most incendiary letter columns (with correspondents weighing in heatedly on both sides of the issue) you're likely to find anywheres, in a solid month of non-stop searching.
Nod your head. Shake your head. Get outraged (either way).
It's that sort of site, you see.
God love it.
WHAT IT IS, IS: ... I'm supplying a visual for this site,
here, because its endearingly snarky owner doesn't "do" pic scans.
Before you all go scrolling downwards towards the next dumbfounded "winner," however... be advised:
... this site is a keeper.
Owned and operated by new CHEEKS site contributor Nicolas Juzda (and -- since Unca stupidly misspelled that not-so-terribly-difficult name, last time out -- kindly allow him to reiterate it, please: N-I-C-O-L-A-S J-U-Z-D-A), Just Another Comics Site is anything but what its typically self-effacing name might otherwise imply.
Ol' Br'er Nicolas is possessed of a fine, caustic wit, and an amiable, loose-limbed writing style; both of which are (niftily) on ready display, in such nicely-turned articles as "Like Everyone, I Alone Know How To Save the Comics Industry"; "Ten Letter Writing Campaigns You'll Never See"; and "This Time, It's Impersonal!"
Race ya there.
WHAT IT IS, IS: ... the top. The peak. The pinnacle. The Colluseum. The Louvre. Lourdes. Galileo's notebooks. The Beatles, live, at the Odeum.
Unca Cheeks' admiration towards (and wide-eyed, unabashed awe of) the eponymous "Gail" -- one part Algonquin-era Dorothy Parker; one part playful Ariana Huffington; one part acidic Camille Paglia; and the remaining seven parts purest, perfect Groucho Marx -- would border on the downright embarrassing, were it not for one stone simple and unassailable fact:
The lady's alla that, and a big, steaming side order o' home fries.
Long story short: "Gail" is the sharpest, funniest pricker of pretentions (and the pretentious) tilling the online journalistic fields, today.
(... and, yes: Unca most assuredly does consider what the lady
does a wholly legitimate form of "journalism," by jingo; in the traditional,
Peter Zinger-ish "afflicting-the-overly-comfortable" sense of the word.
Or perhaps the ROLLING STONE-era Hunter S. Thompson is the better
"match," come to think.)
Unca could spend the whole rest of the day comparing "Gail's" outstanding work on YOU'LL ALL BE SORRY! to the works of this writer or that one, ultimately...
... but: give it another year -- two years, tops -- and it's maybe just as likely we'll all be comparing other online scribes to her.
If you aren't already counting the days, each week, between ongoing installments of this woman's stuff --
... then: you're wrong.
"MORE COMIC BOOKS," YOU SAY...?
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