Unca Cheeks the Toy Wonder's Silver Age Comics Web Site!
. . . or: "When Fanboys Turn To Hate Speech.
. . and Why."
(Part Three; Page Two)
Why do the Nations so furiously rage together? And why do the People imagine a Vain Thing?
-- Psalm 2 and Messiah No. 36
Because it almost certainly bears repetition, at this juncture:
Racism; bigotry; and prejudice rank high amongst the most vile and unforgivable sins of which the human race (of every ethnic variate) has, tragically, proven itself all too readily capable and practiced.
Contrary to popular modern-day wish-cant: none of the foregoing necessarily require actual, concretized "power" (in, say, the business or governmental sense) in order to be exercised upon another. Only the most slippery or cretinous, for example, would attempt to gainsay the notion that words, themselves, can (and do) wield and exact their own terrible and peculiar sort of power over others, when utilized with sufficient malignancy and skill.
(Indeed, were it not so: then garden variety racial epithets, for instance, would [obviously] lack any ability to anger or wound in the first place.)
Practiced thusly, then: any member of any race-, gender- or religion-
situated enclave or clan can (and does) play The Hurting Game...
... and: anyone electing to transgress against the codicils of human civility lays themselves open, thereby, to our fullest and most emphatic censure, and scorn.
Just so we're all crystalline clear as to the whys and wherefores, is all.
Okay. Y'all are just gonna have to bear with your thoroughgoing and precise Unca Cheeks a mite, here, campers and camperettes...
... mainly because: the great, whopping freightload o' super-stinky horse doody he's about to reveal to you -- one and all -- is so gargantuan; so coldly calculated; and has been so incessantly parroted in some of the more squalid of the online echo chambers, over the past year or so...
... that's it just plain ol' deserves the full, unfettered Unca Cheeks
treatment, is all. 
Said "Big Lie" comes fully equipped with its very own starter set of "cop-outs"; "dodges"; "lame excuses"; outright "lies"...
... and: oh, yeah... "racism."
All courtesy,
mind, of the very same folks who provided much of the "entertainment" for
the previous page of this installment of When
Fanboys Turn To Hate Speech... and Why.
Hoo-hah.
POSTER ONE: "There was a kind of half baked rational for this [the death of the first Kid Quantum, in the pages of LEGION OF SUPER- HEROES #62]. Kid Quantum used a technological device and this device failed him in a moment of crisis and he died as a result. [...] Kid Quantum was conceived to be THE reason why the LSH would never allow say, a Green Lantern or Iron Man type of hero into their ranks.
"When I objected to the death of KQ, I was told by many die hard Legion apologists of how KQ's death was THE reason why the LSH didn't have any tech dependant [sic] members. Of course none of these apologists ever thought to ask why was it necessary, in a group with NO black members, to introduce a black character for the express purpose of killing him off? Pointing this out to them was like talking to them in a foreign language, they just couldn't see what the fuss was over a group of over 30 members with not one but two green skinned members and no blacks. Although to be accurate, Xs [sic] was being trotted out as THE black member, despite the fact that her parentage was a white mother and an Arab, (not black) father.
" [...] As any reader of the Legion knows for most of it's [sic] history, the Legion stories never showed any black people, or Asians or any nonwhites living in the 30th century. [...] I thought this level of obfuscation on the part of DC had to be THE text book definition of the word, "blind spot".
"Later Kid Quantum's sister was introduced. Unlike her brother, whose power was weak and needed a technologocal [sic] device to boost it, her powers were able to function effectively without mechanical aid. At her first appearance, she was not really considered for joining the LSH. The official reason was that because she blamed the Legion for her brother's death, she wanted no part of them.
"At any rate, Kid Quantum 2 was admitted to the Legion, albeit without any sort of fanfare or back story. How do I feel about this character? Well on the one hand I lament the lack of a black male Legionaire [sic], but on the other KQ2 is the first black Legionaire.
"On the other hand, there is no denying that as far as character development goes, it doesn't look as if the LSH staff have been knocking themselves out to do anything with her. [...] It's been two years since KQ2 has joined up and we know much less about her than we do about Magno, Monstress, Thunder or even Lori, the 8 year old girl who's been having adventures with the Legion while using the "Dial H for Hero" device. And please don't even think about mentioning Brainiac 5 who always relies on his force field to keep from getting clobbered in combat. A double standard? or just the editorial staff's return to their own form of color blindness? Who can say?
"When you look at the Legion character, Invisible Kid 2, you see the same thing happening again. Jacques Foccart did not invent the formula that turns him invisible, that was done by the (then) late Invisible Kid. He didn't intend to gain power, instead he just happens to be there when the formula gets splashed on him.
"His costume is a nightmare even by Legion standards, remember Element Lad's original Pink and white costume? well Jacques costume was predominantly yellow. And just in case you still don't get the drift, Jacques had a white streak in his hair much like a skunk. [...] A black man with the inclination to hide and the power to make himself invisible."
-- all spelling and punctuation >[sic]; culled
from the many, many rantings posted by
said individual
Well... holy geez.
That sure would make for one mean mutha of an indictment of DC Comics, Inc.'s editorial policies (in general) -- and the editorial and/or creative mind-sets of the LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES' appointed Boswells (in particular) if it was in any way; shape; or form an accurate and unbiased accounting of things, wouldn't it?
Gary Groth would dedicate an entire issue of his elephantine THE COMICS
JOURNAL to such scandalous goings on, on the part of one of the industry's venerable
"Big Two." The resulting firestorm would probably incinerate the very
pages of the staid, stolid COMIC BUYERS GUIDE, in awful turn. Editorial
heads (it may safely be assumed) would roll, bay-bee.
Note, however: I did say IF.
A little honest and genuine history, first, however: for those of you out there who may well be shy a few of the canonical particulars of LEGION lore.
1.) " [...] KQ2 is the first black Legionaire."
I suppose if you are attempting to hoodwink as large a group of people
as possible... you might as well go for broke right from the git-go,
eh?
In actual point of fact: "the first black Legionaire" was a gentleman by the name of Tyroc; and he was introduced more than twenty years ago (in the pages of SUPERBOY AND THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES), in the course of a tale entitled: "The Hero Who Hated the Legion." [See cover reproduction, below]
As posited by long-time LEGION scribe Cary Bates, the aforementioned Tyroc was the resident hero of an island nation by the name of Marzal; an (intentionally) racially separatist duchy predicated upon the rather squalid notion of "We Don't Rightly Need YOUR Kind 'Round These Here Parts, Pink Boys."
This rather unlovely origin-slash-raison d'être -- when yoked in unfortunate tandem with both: a.) an awkward and unwieldy super-
power [he could scream, you see; and said screams could do... well... pretty much anything resident DC Comics powerhouse the Spectre could do, really; NOT a well-balanced "team" character, in other words]; and: b.) one of the all-time lame-ass costumes -- quickly resulted in the ill-conceived character being relegated to the very same corner of Comics Limbo wherein reside such all-time champion stinkeroos as Razorback ("The super-hero who uses CB radio in his one-man war on crime!"); Bob Phantom; Bee-Man; Ultra, the Multi-Alien; and Tod Holton, Super Green Beret.
Lots and lots of genuinely lame and awful comics characters (in other words) have found themselves ingloriously (if no less deservedly) shunted into the dread, four-color borderlands, over the past half century or so.
That'll happen, sometimes,
when said character just happens to be the spandexed equivalent of a Geri
Halliwell solo album.
In any event: the second black Legionnaire was the aforementioned Jacques [INVISIBLE KID] Foccart; about whom our poster, you'll remember, had the following verbal posies to present:
" [...] well Jacques costume was predominantly yellow. And just in case you still don't get the drift, Jacques had a white streak in his hair much like a skunk. [...] A black man with the inclination to hide and the power to make himself invisible."
Oh, my.
My, my, my.
Again, for the historically impaired: far from being treated as some sort of cringing, sniveling coward, trembling behind the protective living barrier of (say) a Superboy, or a Mon-El... Jacques Foccart was consistently showcased (regardless of his costume's predominant color, f'chrissakes) as being every last little bit as courageous; resourceful; and effective as any one of his Legion comrades. [See representative page reproduction, below]
Oh, yeah. There's your prototypical craven
coward, you betcha.
(Tellingly enough, those "racist," "fascist" s.o.b.s at DC Comics later demonstrated their naked and unswerving contempt for the character of Jacques by... by...
(... ummmm... well... by making him President-Elect of the entire planet Earth, actually.
(Okay... so: mebbe this
whole "racist," "fascist"
trip is a wee bit tougher to convincingly pull off than it might otherwise seem,
on first blush.)
It is (quite frankly) nothing less than mind-boggling; this "a white streak in his hair much like a skunk" business. I mean: I suppose that means that such other well-known comics characters as Marvel's Countessa Valentina Allegro de Fontaine (former director of S.H.I.E.L.D., in Nick Fury's absence); Jericho Drumm (better known as Brother Voodoo); Songbird (of the popular Thunderbolts super-team); and DC's own Jason Blood (a.k.a. Etrigan the Demon) and King Savage (of the original Secret Six) were/are all also meant to be regarded as being "much like skunks" by their creators, one and all. Just to name the first, fast five to spring immediately to mind, I mean.
... or: maybe -- just may-friggin'-be, mind -- that whole "white-streak-
running-down-the-center-of-the-hair" thingamabobbie is (plain and simple; sans any and all making things up out of whole cloth, I mean) one of the hoary, standard, seen-it-once-you've-seen-it-a-thousand-times conventions of mainstream comic book art; and, therefore, is roughly as "telling" a point, race-wise, as might be the tip o' Unca Cheeks'... ummmm... nose.
Just maybe, mind.
Number three was the original bearer of the name "Kid Quantum": an aggressively loud-mouthed and self-adoring pain in the proverbial hinder; whose quantum-based "powers" were of artificially-enhanced origin, by means of a "stasis belt."
Give the finger-pointers credit for getting this much right, at least: KQ Numero Uno most assuredly did perish due to his nigh-suicidal reliance upon a single, little-tested ubertechnological gimcrack, in the very heat of pitched, spandexed battle.
However (as previously elucidated in this site's own exhaustive L.
L. L. (Long Live the Legion): an appallingly
high body count has always been pretty much de rigeur for this
series, right from Jump Street. (Other Legionnaires who've snuffed
it, over the ensuing decades, include such notables as: Lightning Lad;
Triplicate Girl; Ferro Lad; the ORIGINAL Invisible Kid;
Karate Kid; Chemical King; Blok; Leviathan; and
probably another good half-dozen or so characters I'm blanking
out on, just at the moment). So: it's scarcely as if the resolutely
jackass-ish KQ was exactly... y'know... singled out, in this regard.
I'm just sayin', here, is all.)
As for the silly "special pleading" inherent in the (posted) "counter-
argument," re: " [...] or even Lori, the 8 year old girl who's been having adventures with the Legion while using the "Dial H for Hero" device. And please don't even think about mentioning Brainiac 5 who always relies on his force field to keep from getting clobbered in combat. A double standard? or just the editorial staff's return to their own form of color blindness? Who can say?":
1.) Supporting character Lori Manning (as I'm willing to bet, dollars to doughnuts, that the poster in question already knows good and bloody well; and shame, shame upon them for intentionally attempting to obsfuscate the point) was never, no never made a member of the Legion; pretty much because her only "power" was her (over-)reliance upon the aforementioned "H"-Dial (whose very existence, by the by, she was forced to keep secret from the Legionnaires.
Because: she knew they'd never APPROVE of her "powers" being ARTIFICIAL in origin.
... or, in other words: significantly LESS "slack" than that afforded to the late, buffoonish KQ Numero Uno.
2.) Brainiac V's super-power of record, on the other hand (as I'm willing to bet, dollars to doughnuts, that the poster in question already knows good and bloody well; and shame, shame upon them for intentionally attempting to obsfuscate the point) is not his "force field belt"; but is (rather) his prodigious super-intellect. A power, in other words (it should manifestly go without saying) which can be reliably depended upon not to "short out" in the midst of pitched battle.
What to decently make, then, of someone resolutely attempting (for whatever reason[s], ultimately) to verbally gerrymander their way to some (supposed) pinnacle of "moral superiority" over others, by dint of (selectively) gainsaying the obvious?
"A double standard? Or just [a] return to their own form of color blindness?
"Who can say?"
Number five was --
[NOTE: yes, yes, yes: Unca Cheeks is perfectly aware that he's blithely leapfrogged over Black
Legionnaire Number Four just now, thankyouverymuch.
Number Four, however, is a very special case; and requires, therefore,
special [and separate] elucidation, as a result. Patience,
people.]
-- was the infinitely more intelligent (and more intelligently conceptualized) SISTER of the original Kid Quantum: Kid Quantum II, to be precise. [See panel reproduction, below]
Said character has proven to be an overwhelmingly popular one with the LSH readership, overall (well, good gravy; can't anybody hereabouts get the bloody hang of this whole "racist," "fascist" business, for pity's sake...?).
This (more than likely) has a wee little something-or-another to do with the irreducable fact that -- UNlike her late, lunkheaded sibling -- Kid Quantum II is not a snide, self-aggrandizing showboater; continually endangering herself (and -- by logical extension -- every other Legionnaire) in the field, in the course of this mission or that one.
Long-suffering LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES
fans tend to notice airy little insubstantialities like that, over the
long haul.
In any event (as has been, by
now, minutely documented): KQ2 is no more "the
first black Legionaire" than (say) Marvel Comics'
Bishop is "the first black member of the X-Men." (A concurrent
bit of historical revisionism I expect to see posted any day now, at
this rate.)
...and: as for that aforementioned "black Legionnaire" Number Four...?
Well, now:
Introduced in the very same issue of LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES as the no-longer-with-us Kid Quantum I -- #62, to be precise in the matter -- was an altogether engaging (and endeearing) character by the name of XS (pronounced "excess"). [See cover reproduction, below]
The observant reader will, of
course, immediately notice (in both the example provided above, and those
to follow) that Our Meteoric Miss' skin tones are rendered in precisely
the same shade as those of the aforementioned Tyroc; Invisible Kid
II; and Kid(s) Quantum I AND II. Which
-- as these things generally go, in comic book terms -- is quite often
a leading and reliable indicator that the characters in question are meant to
be recognized as being rather more similar in said regard than they might
be otherwise, God wot.
Having said that, however: let us (if only for the sake of sweet argument, mind) allow for the possibility that the trained and experienced writers; artists; colorists; and/or editors laboring in the employ of DC Comics, Inc. at present have no clue whatsoever as to how such things have always worked, throughout the history of the medium entire; and that Our Young XS' parentage may very well be (as the poster in question so derisively and condescendingly sniffs) that of "a white mother and an Arab, (not black) father."
Just for the giggles,
mind.
There are a few minor... ummmm... problems inherent in such a reading, here:
1.) There's nothing whatsoever to any such effect (i.e., this "a white mother and an Arab, (not black) father" business) anywhere to be seen in the character's initial appearance. (LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #62)
There's nothing whatsoever to any such effect (i.e., this "a white mother and an Arab, (not black) father" business) anywhere to be seen in the character's initial "solo showcase" outting. (LEGIONNAIRES #19)
There's nothing whatsoever to any such effect (i.e., this "a white mother and an Arab, (not black) father" business) anywhere to be seen in the character's sole origin story, even, f'chrissakes. (LEGION OF SUPER-
HEROES ANNUAL #6)
In actual point of fact: it doesn't seem to be mentioned in ANY issue of either LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES or LEGIONNAIRES, so far as your painstaking Unca Cheeks can see...
... which, in turn, just kinda
sorta naturally leads him to wonder where, precisely, this particular
"interpretation" of the character in question stems from in the first
place, in all pained honesty.
2.) However: let's go even further, and assume (just for the jolly hell of it) that Unca Cheeks has actually managed to (unintentionally) gloss right over a for-real, actual, published and canonical instance of XS being referred to (hopefully, in terms less hurtful and dismissive than those of the original posters cited) as "half-Arab[ic]."
... because: Unca Cheeks... he wants to play fair, always.
The following is excerpted from a far lengthier discussion (sans a great deal of juvenile name-calling and finger-pointing, mind) from the very same "race"-centric message board as all our previous examples; and involving the very same POSTERS, to boot:
POSTER ONE: "Yes, the Egyptians, who were black, practiced slavery."
POSTER TWO: "This is a common misconception. Egyptians were not Black if by Black you mean Negro."
POSTER THREE: "Egypt was a mixture from the first dynasty. Intermarriage was immediate and intense, for there was a constant influx of sub-Sahara [sic] 'Negroes' from the south and Asiatics from the northeast. Egypt was continually mixing--drawing immigrants through surpluses of food and culture, but the chief and constant influxion [sic] was comprised of black Africans and fairer Asiatics."
(It is your goggle-eyed and staring Unca Cheeks' most prayerful and heartfelt hope that the word "fairer," in this particular instance, was intended to reference the pronounced tendency on the part of the "Asiatics" in question not to cheat at card games.)
Okay. So: let's check with the nice folks at the nearest dictionary, then:
ARAB (n. & adj.) -- a member of a Semetic people, inhabiting originally the Arabian peninsula and neighboring countries, now also other parts of the Middle East and North Africa.
EGYPT -- a country in NE Africa [...] official language, Arabic [...] a part of the Arab conquest in 642 [...]
-- from THE OXFORD ENCYCLOPEDIC ENGLISH
DICTIONARY (1992)
Well... gee whillikers.
Now your hopelessly and perpetually befuddled Unca Cheeks really and truly is confused, I s'pose.
Egyptians do "count" as being genuinely "black," as we (nowadays) define the term.
Okay. Gotcha. No arguments here; I'm, like, all cool with
that, if the Egyptians are.
Said Egyptians (following the string) were conquered by the Arabs, back in 642; whereupon (presumably; these things being what they generally are) "intermarriage was immediate and intense." (So very much so, in fact, that the official language of Egypt is now Arabic.)
... and: those gosh-darned marauding Arabs originally hailed from (among other places) North Africa, mind...
... but -- someway; somehow (Unca Cheeks detects the high probability of yet another, hitherto unrevealed "super-power" on the lass' part) -- XS isn't "black."
Uh-huh.
Oooooookay.
You betcha.
Unca Cheeks hasn't seen racial theorizing this mickeymouse; convoluted; and
(ultimately) self-serving since the unfortunate publication of THE BELL CURVE.
So: five "black Legionnaires," then, since the inauguration of the series.
Tyroc. Invisible Kid. XS. Kid Quantum (I). And Kid Quantum (II).
Now -- since the ill-considered (read: bogus) sentiment that "" [...] As any reader of the Legion knows for most of it's history, the Legion stories never showed any black people, or Asians or any nonwhites living in the 30th century" was what initially occasioned this little side-jaunt into nose-counting and suchlike...
... let's shop and compare, shall we?
African-American Members of Marvel Comics' X-MEN (to date):
1.) Storm. 2.) Bishop. 3.) That funky South African kid with the dopey twin parasitic worm-thingies living in his tummy, who only lasted a year or so, and whose name I've long since forgotten (sorry).
African-American Members of Marvel Comics' AVENGERS (to date):
1.) The Black Panther. 2.) The Falcon. 4.) Photon. 4.) Rage.
African-American Members of Marvel Comics' DEFENDERS (to date):
1.) Luke Cage. 2.) ... and...
ummmmm... well... Luke Cage.
Hmmmmmmm.
Y'know, campers...
... it occurs to your SCHOOLHOUSE ROCK-indebted Unca Cheeks that -- for "fans of [...] the most color deprived titles around" (as the obnoxious sentiment goes)...
... the estimable LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES comics are actually a pretty lousy buy, all things being equal.
So long as we're using the final number of noses tallied as our primary arbiter,
at any rate.
Is all of the foregoing too much time; space; and effort expended upon whacking some dopey, bile-laced racist spewings with a big ol' stick, ultimately...?
Well... no. Unca Cheeks honestly doesn't think so.
Y'see: racism; prejudice; and bigotry genuinely are very real, very pressing problems in American society, nowadays.
Ever since the precepts of integration, co-operation and equity were replaced -- in the minds of far too many; on both sides of the great racial divide -- with the noisome cachets of distrust, antagonism and separatism -- we (as a collective people) have, it seems to me, found ourselves drifting steadily away from one another, rather than closer towards one another.
Ever increasingly: the national dialogue has become more of a long, low, gutteral snarl, rather than earnest and willing rapprochement.
There are still far too many barriers and stumbling blocks standing between far too many of us and the baseline rights of equal pay; equal housing; equal representation; and equal opportunity. That's a hard and simple fact.
We still (in brief) have a whole lot of heavy lifting left to do, re: the re-working of this society into a bastion of genuine and manifest promise for all of its citizenry...
... and: there's a whole lot of unadorned, unadultrated crapola which -- as bluntly as possible -- is plain ol' getting in the frickin' WAY; and which we (if we're at all serious about this whole "equality" business in the first place) simply can't indulge ourselves in, anymore.
Simply sitting and stewing in our own mutual sautes of lovingly garnished resentment -- pledging our allegiance to the dull, knee-jerk fatalism and demoralized self-balkanization of the tribes so very much de rigueur, nowadays -- just (plain and simple) ain't makin' the grade, troops.
It isn't effecting any sort of real or meaningful change.
Which -- and please feel free to correct Unca Cheeks, if he's wandered
into irreversible error, here -- is maybekindasorta the whole point,
where the tires meet the tarmac.
It is a trusim that whatever we do in miniature affects whatever we attempt to do in any greater, more profound sense, in turn.
Unca Cheeks doesn't really expect anyone reading these words to rush right out, upon perusal, and begin (say) dedicating his (or her) life to the painstaking re-education of the closest Grand Imperial Klan Wizard (although that'd certainly be swell of you; and he'd be forevermore in your debt); or handing back notorious anti-Semite Louis Farrakhan all of those blamed marbles he lost, however many years ago (ditto).
However: what we all could easily elect to do -- right now; from this very second onward -- is this:
We could resolve -- henceforth -- NOT to lambaste one another as "racist," simply because (say) we don't happen to share the same tastes, re: any given interpretation of any given comic book character, f'chrissakes.
We could solemnly swear -- right here; right now; as individuals who actually understand what the phrase "sense of proportion" means, ultimately -- NOT to demonize comic book writers and editors as being "fascist," simply because they happen(ed) to cobble up a story in which a comic book CHARACTER of our respective fancy isn't appropriately lionized, lauded and adored.
... and, maybe -- just maybe, mind, now -- we could ALL agree to dismount from our respective plumed-and-saddled high horsies; meet each other half-freakin'-way; and agree to talk TO, rather than AT one another, without succumbing to the unlovely urge to call one another's credentials as decent human beings into question, whenever we happen to disagree on some trivial aspect regarding some ding-blasted comic book character or another, for the luvva Allah.
Or Odin. Whatever.
Because: to do anything else, ultimately, is a "cop-out."
And a "dodge."
And we simply cannot afford -- as this century winds down to its close -- any more "lies," or "lame excuses."
Anything else simply serves the cause of r-a-c-i-s-m.
"Peace out," as the kiddies are oft-times wont to say.
"Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid."
-- Mark Twain
"Cop-Outs, Dodges, Lame Excuses, Lies and Racism": When Fanboys Turn To Hate Speech (PAGE ONE)
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