Unca Cheeks the Toy Wonder's Silver Age Comics Web Site!
(How To Win Friends And Influence People... SUB-MARINER Style)
The Biggest Butt-Head In All of Comics History. 
)
Now, then: before all of you outraged Prince Namor fans out there
start in with the ceremonial Pelting of the Narrator with Dried Fish
Heads, and whatnot... allow me to explain what I actually meant
by that... 'kay?
Although his comics resume stretches allllllllllll the way back to the fabled Golden Age of comics, itself -- with his obscure (at the time) debut within the pages of the somewhat inappropriately-titled MOTION PICTURE FUNNIES WEEKLY #1 (and only, as it so happened) -- the Avenging Son's first Silver Age appearance of note occurred in the landmark FANTASTIC FOUR #4 [see cover, below].
As the tale is told: a dispirited Johnny ("Human Torch") Storm -- having "run away from home" (i.e., the Fantastic Four's HQ), due to an unattractive and pronounced case of The Sulks -- flops into this Bowery-type flop house for the night. Whilst engaged in wrestling the bedbugs two falls out of three for his fair share of the blanket, he notices a massive, bearded figure nearby, staring off somewhere into the far middle distance.
For reasons which doubtless seemed good and sufficient at the time,
Johnny uses his flame (!!!) to shear away the burly stranger's leonine
mop and chin-stuff, and -- hey, presto! One long-catatonic
PRINCE NAMOR: THE SUB-MARINER!!! (Just add water.) )
Quicker'n you can imitate a panicky young teenager moaning: "... dear God... what was I THINKING...?", Namor's memories all come back to him, a-rush. He then promptly... ummmmm...
... declares war on "the mud-grubbing air-breathers of The Surface World."
Yeah... that's probably the first thing I'd do, too, in that
situation. )
Thankfully, Johnny Storm -- remember him? Ol' "Kid Disaster"...? -- manages to alert his FF teammates as to the horrific nature of the truly mind-boggling snafu for which he is Completely and Personally Responsible ("No dessert for you this week, Little Mister -- !"), and said "invasion" is, happily, nipped in the proverbial "bud."
However: during all of this clattering of swords against shields and heavy breathing and whatnot... Our Little Subby sets aside just enough time in his personal planner to... ummmmmm...
... declare his "complete and undying love" for Susan ("Invisible Girl") Richards: the future wife of the Fantastic Four's leader.
Just can't even buy a clue, can he, folks...?
This particular instance of (please forgive me;
I haven't been at all "well," lately) "guppy love" occasioned
many a repeat performance of The Sub-Mariner Vs. the Fantastic Four
Show, over the ensuing years [see pictures, above], which had the net
result of effecting the same sort of wonders for Namor's rep as would
-- say -- a diptheria outbreak at the local Holiday Inn. Just
call him "Mister Personality," by golly -- !
Not that the crowned prince of Atlantis was working and playing terribly
well with other representatives of the Marvel Universe in the
meantime, mind
Feeling, perhaps, that he was riding a bit too
high in the popularity polls of the Marvel populace, in general...
Namor also joined forces with the Incredble
Hulk in a full-bore assault upon the mighty Avengers
(!!!). [see cover reproduction, below]
Honestly, now: don't you think a healthy "outside interest"
-- like, say, maybe stamp collecting -- would've saved this big
goof entire hours of recrimination and self-doubting, somewhere
along the way...?
If nothing else, however: the resultant tussle
between the two tag-teams was nothing short of foundation-rattling in
its implications. Namor... the Hulk... Iron
Man... Thor; these were (quite literally)
the four biggest "guns" in all of the Marvel Universe, at that
point in time.
It was -- in effect -- the super-hero equivalent of Major League Baseball's
"All-Star Game."
Throughout all of the foregoing rumbles, by the way... the Sub-Mariner
was characteristically portrayed as sporting the sort of ego so breathtakingly
gargantuan and indefatigable, it all but required its own separate seating
whenever Namor went out to dinner.
(Hmmmmmm... sounds like some of the folks I've met while posting
on the message boards online, now that I actually stop to think
about it...)
No blow was ever struck, but that it was struck:
"... for Atlantis! ForEVER -- !!!" No opponent
ever received anything so simple and straightforward as a good, clean
bop in the snoot; oh, nononono. It was: "... the full,
unfettered power of THE AVENGING SON -- !!!" And
stuff like that, there.
(Can you even imagine what it would be like, if everybody
carried on this way? I mean: "Pass me that meatloaf,
thou basest of all villains... or suffer the fearsome vengeance
of the all-powerful MOM -- !!" "Never! NEVER,
I say! Though the heavens may crack asunder -- I say thee:
NAY -- !!!" And I don't even wanna think about what
inter-familial squabbles over the TV remote would sound like...)
)
However: surely the single most assinine stunt Namor ever pulled was in deciding to pummel the holy living spandex right off of...
... ummmmm... Daredevil. [See cover, below]
Yup. You're actually seeing it, all right. The Scion of Atlantis; the guy who regularly went toe-to-toe with the likes of Thor, f'cryin' out loud...
... whuppin' up on a blind man.
Even as a kid, reading this stuff way, waaaaayyy back
when... I just knew THAT was "wronger" than lime-green bowling
shoes, by God -- !!! )
Prince Namor, the Sub-Mariner: PAGE TWO
OTHER SIGNIFICANT MARVEL TITLES of the Silver
Age
PAGE ONE: The Defenders
PAGE SEVEN: The Hulk
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