Okay: this one's gonna cover a whole lotta storytelling ground...

... so: everybody strap themselves in good and tight.

The fun'n'frolic, Duela-style, begins with "The Fiddler's Concert of Crime" [THE TEEN TITANS #46; February, 1977; Bob Rozakis, author; Irv Novick, artist].

Roy [SPEEDY] Harper and Mal [I-DON'T-HAVE-A-COOL-CODE-NAME] Duncan have just returned to Titans HQ, after having undergone a distressingly public (and thoroughly humiliating) ass-whupping at the gnarled, arthritic hands of "Golden Age" FLASH baddie the Fiddler; a jaw-droppingly inept "super-villain" who -- I assure you -- could be taken out by Pokemon, two falls out of any given three.

Dick [ROBIN] Grayson; Wally [KID FLASH] West; Donna [WONDER GIRL] Troy; and Garth [AQUALAD] are already there; reeling in abject horror from one of Mr. Grayson's peculiarly lame and awful attempts at impromptu stand-up comedy.

"Robin," a groaning Kid Flash observes, in pained response to the Boy Wonder's pallid punchline. "That joke had whiskers on it when Ben Franklin told it to the Continental Congress!"

Said palsied jape, however, serves as the springboard requisite to introducing the other Titans to their latest teammate: Duela Dent... a.k.a., the Joker's Daughter!

Right from the proverbial git-go, long-time Titan Speedy is openly suspicious of the (ostensibly) Repentant Rogue-ette; contemptuously referring to her as "the loony" and raising strenuous (and repeated) objections to the others allowing her to accompany the team on its missions.

Duela finds an early advocate and champion, however, in the person of the equally strong-willed Wonder Girl.

("You wouldn't want to vote [on Duela's membership] before she's had a chance to prove herself?" the Amazon retorts to one of the Boy Bowman's snide anti-Duela asides. "Besides... I think this bunch could use another 'pretty face.' ")

(Good thing then, in retrospect, that the formidable Ms. Dent didn't end up going with that tres goony "Penguin's Daughter" get-up of hers. I'm, just sayin', really. That's all.)

Well... in any event: the Titans (with hopeful penitent Duela in eager tow) do the "Round Two" thing with geriatric super-goober the Fiddler, whose latest scheme involves the simultaneous kidnappings of both Paul McCartney and Wings ("Peter McCarthy and the Flyers") AND the Carpenters ("The Woodworkers").

(... and they dare call this man a villain...? I mean... geez: I would have given him detailed written instructions AND double bus fare to Lionel Richie's house, f'chrissakes! "Good work on that Celine Dion job, old man! Just make certain that the Kenny Rogers caper next week looks like another 'accident' as well, and there'll be a nice extra little something extra waiting for ya in the Swiss bank account. Who's your sugar daddy, then...?")

The unfailing and fundamental unfairness of the world aside, however: it is the timely intervention of neophyte heroine "the Joker's Daughter" -- an unhappy nom de guerre, that -- which results in the Fiddler's capture, after the latter has pretty much swabbed the rhetorical decks with the rest of the Titans; allowing us to segue seamlessly, in turn, into...

"Trouble... Which Rhymes With DOUBLE!" [THE TEEN TITANS #47; April, 1977; Bob Rozakis, author; Bob Brown, penciler]; where the cities of New York and Gotham are being looted and plundered by twin triumvirates of super-thugs: both sets comprised, inexplicably, of felons gadding about under the names of Darklight, Flamesplasher and Sizematic, to be precise. (Bob Rozakis, you see, was bound and bloody determined to make "The Joker's Daughter" sound sane and sensible a mouthful, by way of auctorial comparison.)

An odd and unexpected "psychic hunch" on Duela's part leads her and a trio of her fellow Titans (Robin; Kid Flash; and Wonder Girl) into conflict with the Gotham City set of no-goodniks; with the heroes ending up on the receiving end of a regular, old-fashioned drubbing in the process.

A "grudge match" bout between a Duela-led contingent of Titans (Aqualad; Speedy; and Mal Duncan) and the mirror-image malcontents in NYC goes even more painfully awry, as the aforementioned baddies promptly and gleefully whup up on Our Heroes with super-powers which are precisely the OPPOSITE of those utilized against the first team. ("Darklight," for instance, casts blinding radiance, rather than shadows; and so on, and so forth.)

Given that both Extremely Painful Encounters came about as the direct result of Duela's recent (and mystifying) "ESP flashes," the still- suspicious Speedy accuses JD of "setting up" her fellow Titans, on the villains' larcenous behalf.

("The girl with the laughing face gave us a bum steer on that gang, Robin," the embittered archer snarls. " [...] Face it, buddy-boy... she's been settin' us up!")

[CHEEKS' ASIDE: ... y'know... mebbe it's just me, here...

[... BUT: if one of my friends or co-workers just up and claimed, one day, to possess Nostradamus-like abilities -- all of a sudden, like; without even bein' hit on the head, or nothin' -- and if I was bone-stupid enough to base any/all of my future actions upon the as-yet-unproven efficacy of said precognative prowess; then that would all pretty much all be on me, wouldn't you think...?]

Blithely disregarding, however, the fact that "Jokesy" (as Wonder Girl just bloody insists upon calling her; no matter how much you cry) is enjoying roughly the same incredible psychic success rate, overall, as Walter Mondale's old presidential campaign manager: the Hip Harlequin's heated rejoinder to the adolescent archer's antagonistic aside is as follows [Pick One]:

A.) "I never tried to do the ESP bits -- they just happened!"

B.) "Wait... wait! I'm getting another vision! One involving your mother. And the entire offensive line for the Green Bay Packers."

C.) "... yeah... well... at least my visions don't require that I tie rubber tubing around my upper arm and heat stuff up in a spoon, 'Johnny LSD.'"

D.) "Ix-nay on the itching-bay, PeeWee... or else I clue the others in on exactly who's been flitting around town tarted up as 'the Clock King's Daughter'... dig?"

Well; the next thing we know, Duela (along with loyal booster Robin) have been beaten up and abducted by the latter's old Gotham nemesis, Two-Face. ("That's right, kid! I sent out two gangs to pull off twin robberies... one group after rare, original artifacts... the other, stealing copies!")

(Y'know: I always figured Two-Face as one of those "super-criminals" who really just needed himself a nice hobby to keep himself busy, really. Model train sets, maybe. Collecting old Pez dispensers. Or even just selling GRIT ("The Nation's Newspaper") door-to-door, for cash and fabulous prizes. Anything like that, really.)

The Bifurcated Baddie does his patented "coin flipping" thing, the better that he might (as he so cheerfully phrases it) "determine my plans for the offspring of the two men I hate most... the Batman's 'son' and the Joker's daughter!"

"Oh, no -- no!" the Make-Up Myrmidon exclaims; instinctively sensing, perhaps, that said "plans" most likely do not involve a seven course steak dinner and a nice Swedish massage, afterwards. "You wouldn't murder your own daughter Duela, would you... Daddy?"

"DADDY-- ?!?" a stunned and flabbergasted Two-Face exclaims.

He's still stammering and stuttering over that particular familial revelation a full month later, when "Daddy's Little Crimefighter" [TEEN TITANS #48; June, 1977; Bob Rozakis, author; Jose Delbo, penciler] hits the stands; and we finally get to see a little Jenny Jones-ish "you-ruined- my-life-you-pig" interaction between Dent family patriarch and daughter.

"You wanted twins," Duela spits at her infamous sire. "... and because you didn't get what you wanted... you hated [my mother] [...] and I've hated you from the moment I learned the truth! So to get back at you, I masqueraded as the daughter of a man you despise... and joined up with the children of your mortal foes!"

(... Mal Duncan's parents were the "mortal foes" of Two-Face...?!?)

"I wanted to kill you then," the Schizoid Stinker confesses to his daughter, in a gentle moment of naked emotional vulnerability; "... but Fate and the flip of my two-headed coin have given me the opportunity now!"

"Daddy -- please!" an embarrassed Duela pleads; mortified beyond all endurance, perhaps, that her father is doing his tired old "I-Am-the-Very- Model-of-a-Modern-Major- Psycho" routine in front of one of her new buds (teenaged girls are just so darned sensitive, aren't they?) -- "Letting the flip of a two-faced coin control your life is -- "

"... insane!" the elder Dent chirrups, in ready agreement. "Yes, I realize that, now... which is why I've come up with a better way!" [Pick One]:

A.) "I've had twin gangs steal various treasures, along with their bogus counterparts. Half the loot is stashed in New York; the other half, in Gotham. Thus -- when my bombs blow up both cities, if more originals survive the blast, I'll become an honest citizen! If it's the phony duplicates... I'll devote my life to crime!"

B.) "... now, seventeen coins, on the other hand..."

C.) "This whole 'flipping-the-coin' business is so unscientific! From now on: it's 'One-Potato-Two-Potato' for this crazed super-criminal mastermind, by jingo!"

D.) "From now on, I'm taking my behavioral cues from old ARCHIE comic books! A date with Betty: I'm a good boy that day. Veronica: I rape and plunder. Jughead: I go back to Gotham and lick the sweat off of Batman's chin dimple. rrrrrrrROWF!"

Well: Robin and Duela manage to extricate themselves from Two-Face's criminal clutches; and take care of that whole bothersome "bomb" business, in the process. (... and, as for Duela's inexplicable -- and never repeated -- "psychic flashes": those were explained away as being the result of the lass and her sire sharing some sort of "mental rapport," or somesuch. Even though it had never happened before, in all of Two- Face's lengthy and notorious criminal career; no, and never again, either, come to think. Apparently, then: Duela's "psychic powers" were/are triggered by wearing purple pin-stripes. Or else close, physical proximity to Mal Duncan, mebbe. Look... I just work here, all right...?)

The adventure ends with an off-panel Duela informing her newfound teammates that: " [...] from now on, I'm not 'J.D.,' 'Jokie,' 'Joksie,' or any other names you come up with! From now on, I'm -- "

[Unca Cheeks here, pals'n'gals: Don't. Look. DON'T. LOOK. For the love of all that's sane and holy: DON'T. LOOK.]

"... the Harlequin!"

(You looked, didn't you? Don't lie to your caring and benevolent Unca Cheeks, now. I know good and bloody well you weren't stone blind when you all first trooped in here, after all.)

(Proof positive, incidentally, that the story's author Bob Rozakis is the gentlest, kindest individual ever to labor within the cold, unforgiving confines of the comics industry: penciling perpetrator Jose Delbo is still alive.)

An interesting "coda" to the Harlequin's meta-fictive etude took place in the Marv Wolfman/George Perez-crafted THE NEW TEEN TITANS #50 -- the otherwise interminable "Wedding of Donna Troy" yawnfest -- with an appreciably older (to say nothing of appallingly chunkier) Duela Dent making a brief cameo appearance, in conversation with a befuddled Dick [NIGHTWING] Grayson.

"Duela Dent," the tuxedoed Teen Wonder exclaims. "I barely recognized you!"

"No reason you should have, Dickie," a wattled and liver-spotted Duela chirrups, by way of response. "My 'Harlequin' days were fifty pounds ago, to say the least! Ahhh... those were good times with the Titans, weren't they, hon?"

"Yeah, they were fun," an (obviously soused) Dick manages to slur, unconvincingly. "By the way, speaking of Harlequin -- I realized something, a while back: you're too old to be Two-Face's daughter!" (As ever, our Young Master Grayson is the very soul of tact.)

"It took you this long to figure that out?" Duela chortles, enjoying the way her former teammate's eyes keep crossing and uncrossing, in drunken confusion. "Tsk, tsk; the Batman would not be happy."

"So what's the truth...?" "Dickie" whimpers, stymied in his bleary, pitiful attempts to discern which one of the three Duelas in front of him is the real one.

"Maybe, Dickie... just maybe I'll tell you," a departing Duela tosses airily over one shoulder...

"... one of these days, that is."

God, but we men just go grapenuts over a woman with a little hint of mystery to her; you ever notice...?

There is -- as of this writing -- either a fourth or fifth incarnation of DC's venerable TITANS franchise currently treading the storytelling boards; one to which (my solemn oath on it) I hereby pledge my fullest and undying devotion...

... just as soon as the creators of same bring back my beloved Duela Dent, that is.

The Joker's Daughter: PAGE ONE
The Joker's Daughter: PAGE TWO